32. Epilogue 1
Asher
Three months later
I hold up the needle and the barbell. “Are you ready, baby?”
Noah lies on his back on the bed, torso naked and splayed out for me, his dusty pink nipples mine for the taking.
I know, I know. We were supposed to be more thoughtful about this stuff.
Less insane, if you will. For the record, Noah was the one to order the tools, and I didn’t even know he’d done it before he held them up this morning with a wicked smile on his lips.
Needless to say, I popped a boner right there and then in anticipation of what’s about to happen.
How I’m about to mark him. The vulnerability of it, the control.
I can’t help but grind against him a little as I straddle him now, watching him squirm.
Once again, I’ve looped the chain around his wrists and tied them to the bedpost. I love seeing him like this—helpless and wanting—but that control he gives up to me is a gift, and I make sure to treat it as such.
My domination now comes from a different place than it used to. Not from a place of revenge, but a place of love.
“Just do it,” he says, jaw clenched tight. “Stop making me wait.”
“Why? Getting cold feet?”
“I just don’t like waiting.”
“Well, I want to savor this moment, baby. Will you let me?”
“I’d let you do anything.”
I smirk, and he smirks back, because he knows I asked the question just to have him say that.
I pinch his left nipple with my fingers—I’m wearing gloves, at least; that’s something, right? I did a fair amount of googling beforehand, but now that it’s really time to do it, I can’t help but feel a little nervous.
I try to push that nervousness aside by imagining the silver jewelry piercing through the sensitive flesh of Noah’s nipples. How sexy it’ll be playing with them. How gorgeous he’ll look.
“I want you to tell me what you feel when I do it,” I mumble, rolling the nub between my fingertips. “Describe the sensation to me, the pain. Let me hear you whimper, baby.”
“Okay,” he gasps, squirming under my grip. “I will.”
“Good boy.”
He whimpers at that, and my cock strains between my legs, the hard length of it meeting his own. I think we’re ready.
We’ve angled the floor lamp directly at the bed for better lighting.
Gloves are on, the tools are disinfected, and I’ve wiped his chest clean.
We should be fine. If I’d have done this a few months ago, when we were too wrapped up in each other and pretty much incapable of rational thought, I would have done without all these precautions, but we’re different now.
Normal, I’m not so sure, but who even wants to be normal, anyway?
I open the clamp and close it around Noah’s left nipple. He gasps, chest heaving.
“Cold?” I ask.
“Y-Yeah.”
“Now breathe in, and you’re going to feel a little pinch.”
He inhales sharply as I slide the hollow needle through the space between the clamps. There’s more resistance than I expected at first, but once I’ve pierced the skin, it’s like cutting through butter. Adrenaline floods my veins as I push the needle through until it pops out at the other side.
Blood rushes loudly in my ears, and I feel a little dizzy. I let go of the needle, and it sticks out awkwardly on the sides. Noah stares down at his chest, breathing hard.
“Talk to me, baby,” I say. “Did it hurt?”
“Yeah,” he replies, but his voice is steady, making me feel like I’m the one who’s the most affected by this. “Yeah, it hurt.”
It’s a bit like when you see someone throw up and you feel the need to throw up yourself. That dizzy, out-of-control feeling. I have to keep focus though. I have to see this through for us both.
“I’m sliding the barbell in now. Are you ready?”
Noah nods, and I pinch the jewelry between my fingers with shaking hands. Fuck, I can’t be shaking while I do this. I have to be steady. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. We both want this. I made the suggestion, but Noah wouldn’t have ordered the tools if he didn’t want this.
Okay. Jewelry in hand, I slide it onto one side of the needle and grab the other end while I carefully slide the needle out. At the same time, I push the barbell in. Noah groans, face tightening, and when I screw on the end of the barbell, he bites his lip.
I pin him with my gaze. “Don’t you remember what I said? I wanted to hear you.”
“That?…” His breath comes out in a rush. “Fuck, that really hurt, Ash. It burned.”
“It’s beautiful though.” I pull at the base of his pec, and the jewelry tingles in the light. “Ready for the other one?” I don’t know if I’m ready, but Noah nods, teeth gritted in determination.
Now that I know what to expect, the process is smoother for the other nipple. Seems like Noah’s adrenaline can’t dampen the second rush of pain as well as it did the first; he grimaces and whimpers beautifully as I slip the jewelry inside.
“How was that, baby?” I ask.
“Intense,” he mumbles. “Hot.”
“Yeah?” I slide a hand down between our bodies to grab his cock, finding it already hard and leaking. “Oh, you really liked it. Want me to pierce you here next?” I dig my thumb into the sensitive skin under his crown.
Noah arches his back, lashes fluttering. “Oh?…?Okay.”
I flick my gaze up. “It was a joke.”
“I’d let you though. You know that.”
“Yeah, I know that. Now be still.” I take my gloves off and spit into my palm, working him over with my slick hand.
At the same time, I reach behind myself, pushing two fingers into my hole that I already prepped and lubed before we started this, since I figured he needed some pleasure to counteract the pain.
Without further ado, I guide Noah’s cock inside, expression strained as I work myself down inch by inch. Fuck?…?We’ve done this dozens of times by now, but I still haven’t quite gotten used to the intense feeling of his shaft stretching me wide.
“Oh my god, Ash?…” Noah moans.
A whine builds in my throat in reply, but I pull it back, steadying my voice. “Want to do it to me? Pierce me here?” I pinch one of my nipples.
“Would you let me?” With his hands restrained, Noah uses the lower part of his body to rock up inside me, and this time, I can’t hold back the whine.
Fuck, I’m supposed to be dominating him, but maybe it was a bad idea to have him fuck me. I have a hard time bottoming without breaking character.
I brace my hands on his shoulders, gasping as he slams his full length inside. “I-I don’t know. Maybe if I get to fuck you at the same time.”
“Would that work?”
“We could try.”
Noah smiles and shakes his head. “I think I’d get too distracted.”
That’s fair. I never could have focused enough to pierce his nipples if I was riding him like this, especially not now that I’m trying to make him come. I pick up the pace, bouncing my ass onto his cock, impaling myself, and I watch his expression tighten with lust and his eyes widen.
“Fuck, Ash, stop.”
“It’s okay. I want you to come.” I lean down to grab his throat, pressing down on it while I ride him hard.
“Doesn’t it feel good? That pain.” I squeeze around his newly pierced nipples, and he cries out as he bucks up inside me, flooding me with his cum.
Unable to hold back anymore, I squeeze my ass around his softening cock while I jerk off frantically and come all over his chest.
All over his nipples.
Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best idea.
“Fuck. Sorry.”
“For what?” Noah asks, sweaty and blissfully fucked out.
“I don’t think you’re supposed to treat fresh piercings with cum.”
He glances down at his chest and shrugs. “Let’s take a bath, then.”
“I don’t think you’re supposed to do that either. Here.” I unlock his wrists and wipe him down with a paper towel, careful not to bump his piercings more than necessary.
“It’s fine. Come here.” Noah flicks the floor lamp off, reaches for me, and gets me to lie down beside him. I let myself be manhandled, and I end up with my hand around his torso. His stab wound is healing nicely. He says it doesn’t hurt anymore, and he stopped taking painkillers long ago.
Ethan has called me a few times since that day in the hospital. Needless to say, Noah never pressed charges, so my brother doesn’t have to worry about repercussions. In my opinion, he could do with some consequences for his actions though.
It’s strange how much my view of him has changed. Before all this happened, I would’ve been over the moon to receive a phone call from him, just to hear his voice, but that time is gone.
I’m not ready to talk to him yet. Maybe I’ll never be ready.
Months have passed since that day at Joshua’s house, but I still wake up sometimes from nightmares of Noah’s blood warm and wet in my palms, pouring through my hands, and his dead eyes staring back at me—truly dead, not that fucking nickname given to him by his bullies.
Noah tries his best to console me, but I still have a hard time believing he’s alive and a hard time trusting he’ll stay so.
When we meet our end, I can only hope we’ll meet it together, but for now, we’ve both promised each other to keep our feet on the earth, among the living, among all those people who never wanted us and never accepted us.
We have to accept ourselves in their stead.
My parents haven’t yet caught on that I’ve dropped out of college, but when they do, I’m sure they’ll stop sending me my allowance.
Until then, Noah and I live on their money.
We don’t spend much, since we hardly do anything, and Noah’s hospital bill was nearly all covered by insurance, but I know we can’t live like this forever.
It’s pretty hard, to be fair, figuring out what you’re going to do with your life when you’ve lived like Noah and I have. Day by day. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring or if there will even be a tomorrow.