2. Morgan
MORGAN
With my hands on my hips, my eyes track over the boxes stacked up in the tiny apartment, and I feel something curl in my stomach.
I’m not sure what. Disappointment, maybe?
I’d thought I’d be more excited coming to Bluport Cliffs. I loved the coastal city in California when I visited my father a few times over the summers.
But now, standing alone in the small space, my future seems a little more glum. In Arizona, I’d grown to love the city and the friends I made, even if the squad had their hands full with the outlaw bikers.
It was home, and this feels more like…visiting. It’s not the home I grew up in. As soon as the divorce papers were filed, they shipped me off to boarding school.
My phone rings and I smile, figuring it’s Quinn. She’s probably just as lost in the new town as I am. Most of the town’s streets are adjacent to the coast while Arizona’s streets were more gridlike.
My smile drops when it’s not her. I would rather it be a scam call than this one.
I brace myself and answer, “Hi, Mom.”
“Morgan! I just got off the phone with Debbie, and she said you’re moving to Bluport. That’s not true, is it?”
I wince. My aunt has always been the family gossip, but I guess I never thought she’d still be talking to her brother’s ex.
“Uhh. Yeah. I mean, she told you about Dad, right? His health scare?”
She scoffs. “Sure, but what does that have to do with you? I asked you to move closer to your brothers, and you said no.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to calm the jittery emotion coursing through my chest. Tears threaten to leak and my nose tingles.
I should have expected that she might find out and be upset because in her eyes this is betrayal. I’ve chosen a side and it’s not hers. Even if there have never been sides. It’s really just two concrete walls, and I’m stuck between them, alone in a courtyard of abandonment.
My tongue pushes into my cheek, unsure how to respond to her. She asked me to move to Montana with her new husband at sixteen, wanting me to finish out high school in some bumfuck town with strangers instead of the friends I’d grown to love.
When I said no, she didn’t talk to me until I graduated, and that was to ask where I was going to college. I’d been surprised that her husband hadn’t pulled my tuition for the boarding school, but I guess as long as I wasn’t with my dad, that was all that mattered for her.
Looking back, I now realize she wanted to know about college to see if I was moving back to California—to my dad—after graduation. I remember how exhausted she sounded when I told her I was applying to the police academy when I was finally twenty-one.
“Uhm. Yeah, it wasn’t really the plan. I just thought…you know, if something happens again…he was lucky that a colleague was visiting,” I explain weakly. It’s not enough in her eyes.
“Well, I mean, he chose that, Morgan.” Her snide tone pricks at my heart.
I sigh. “I get that, but he’s still my dad.”
Just like you’re still my mom, even if you haven’t attempted to see me over the years. I usually have to visit for Christmas, and I only do that for the twins. Though, each year it feels more and more useless because they couldn’t care less about spending time with me.
“I just can’t believe you’re moving there.”
I track over my empty apartment. “I mean, it’s not set in stone yet. I was just thinking about it. Dad didn’t seem real happy about it.” The lie tastes like ash on my tongue, but the energy shifts on the phone just like I expected.
“That’s great. I think the longer you think about it, the more you’ll realize it’s a mistake,” my mom chirps happily.
“Right, thanks. How are Trent and Brandon?” I ask, wanting to change the subject.
“Oh, fine. Look, I haven’t got time to chat. I’ll call you later to catch up,” she says.
I blink, unable to hold back the hurt from her quick dismissal. “Uh—”
“Bye, Morgan.”
I know she’s gone before I respond, and I stand there a little stuck. She’s not going to call back, she never does. Nor does she pick up much when I call her instead.
I set my phone on the counter and take a deep breath, hating the resentment burrowing in my heart.
She only called to make sure I wasn’t moving closer to my dad. A continuous game between them about the child that forever connects them. She got the answer she wanted, so there’s no reason to continue the charade of being my mom.
Heavy knocks startle me and I open the door to Quinn’s bright smile. She walks past me, placing the takeout bags on the counter.
“How mad would you be if I disappeared for a few hours?” she asks with a pout.
I raise an eyebrow, hiding my laugh with a roll of my lips, thankful for the distraction. “No way you got picked up between here and the restaurant.”
My best friend smirks. “The owner was rather chatty while I waited for our food.” Her eyes sparkle with interest.
I shake my head. “You know the rules. Location on, text me at least once every few hours, and then when you’re going to bed so I don’t worry.”
Quinn laughs. “Yes, Mom. Would you like a selfie and his license plate?”
My lips pinch together because I know she’s being facetious, but I would like that. Quinn is one of the smartest women I know, but she also has a very big appetite for sex, and it’s put her in some scary situations. Says more about the men than her, because they rarely want to let her go.
She rummages through the takeout bags, grabbing whatever she got and throwing it in the microwave.
With a wink at me, she grabs her overnight bag and hurries to the bathroom. I watch her, some of the loneliness creeping back in.
Maybe it’s time for me to try to find someone as well. Life would be slower moving in Bluport, even with me working for the county instead of the city.
My thoughts drift back to the biker I let fuck me in the bar. It’s not something I’d ever done before, and yet I can’t stop thinking about it. It may have been one of the best nights of my life, so careless and reckless, but in the hands of one of the sexiest men I’ve ever encountered.
I slink over to the counter, taking slow bites of the pulled pork and mac and cheese when Quinn finally bounds out. She moves toward me, kissing my temple.
“I will not be spending the night, but thanks for letting me get my rocks off.”
I roll my eyes with a chuckle. “We both know if he’s good, you may spend the night.”
She shakes her head. “No. I only have the rest of the weekend with you. No dick is that important. A few hours to spare? Sure, why not.”
I push her off me. “Go get your orgasm, bitch. You’re getting clingy, and I told you I was never going to help you pick out which vibrator to use again.”
Quinn laughs. “Bitch, please. I know you love that I sample the goods so you know what to buy.”
Shaking my head, I turn back to the food as she happily skips out.
* * *
The scrape of our forks is the only sound, and every moment of silence is frying my nerves. It’s been over a week since I moved into town, and this is the first time he’s made time to see me. The department gave me another week to settle in before starting.
“I went to the beach the other day. It’s as beautiful as I remember.” I needed to get out of the house as soon Quinn left, feeling suffocated by being alone.
He shrugs, grabbing his beer and taking a deep chug. “Better if we could keep those homeless fucks out of Main Street. They just keep coming back like cockroaches.”
My eyes drop back to my plate. It’s a sentiment I know most of the department carries, but it always hurts my heart.
I’m not naive to the statistics of those more likely to commit crime, but most of the time it’s out of survival, and who can really blame them? They need help; a lot of people who commit crimes need help.
I clear my throat and then reach over to take a sip of water, desperate to steer away from the subject. “Have you had a chance to talk to the sheriff?”
My father grunts, a frown flickering on his face. “About what?”
My heart sinks into my stomach. “About starting as corporal instead of deputy since I have years on the force.”
His eyebrows furrow and he looks up at me with a hard glare. “That would look like favoritism, Morgan. That would not go over well.”
“My old captain recommended—”
He huffs out a little bit. “Look, things are run different here. We have a whole county to look after, not just one city. The sheriff is elected, not chosen. He owes more to the people than handing favors to his chief. I got you a job. That’s all I can do.”
I blink at him, taking another sip of water. He didn’t get me the job. I earned my place and they had an opening.
I also don’t want to counter him, hating when he treats me like I don’t know anything about law enforcement. A sheriff’s department is different from a police department, but not by much.
That one city I had to patrol in Arizona has nearly the same population as the county we’re in. Bluport nearly holds the entire population since it’s right near the shore. “Thank you. I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. I just have a few years already under my belt, and—”
“Then you should have stayed there if you were looking to climb the ladder.”
I swallow down the ache in my throat and the sting in my chest. “I came to be closer to you.”
He wipes his mouth roughly with the napkin and then tosses it on his plate. “You came to nag me about the doctor appointments.”
I laugh at his absurdity. “Is that a bad thing? I want you to continue to get healthier.”
My father glares. “I’ve been taking care of myself for years without your help. I don’t need you coming and trying to boss me around while using my name to make a career for yourself.” His jaw is tight and he leans back in his chair.
The pulse in my neck is strangling as it thunders away.
I don’t want to push him too far, but his anger confuses me.
“I don’t have much control over our matching names.
When I got the call you were in the hospital, that scared me, and I realized that you could be gone any minute, and I just figured…
I don’t know, we could spend time together. ”
He sighs, cracking his neck and reaching for his beer. “I’m fine. That’s why they got me on all those meds. It won’t happen again.”
“We can only hope it won’t happen again.”
The hard clink of the bottle slamming on the table makes me wince. “Damn it, Morgan! Leave it be! If you want a promotion, work for it like the rest of the sorry asses in the department.”
I clear my throat again and mutter an apology. We eat for another few tense, silent moments. “I got a couch the other day, so my apartment is all set up.”
He grunts but doesn’t comment further. I push the food around my plate, not having the energy to eat or try again.
I knew it would be hard to come back and try to reconnect with him. We never had a strong relationship while I was growing up. Half the time he was too tired from his work to engage with me, and the other half he spent yelling about how much of a disappointment and burden I was.
It’s why when the judge in my parents’ nasty divorce and child custody court case asked if I wanted to go to boarding school for high school, I jumped at the chance. It’s why I ran out of state for college, away from both of them and with a full scholarship, so I didn’t have to ask for help.
Between him and my mother, at least there were days when he just ignored my existence. She used every opportunity to bash him, and if my presence couldn’t be used against him, then I wasn’t worth her time.