GuiltLack There Of
Creed
It was the beginning of the spring semester of my senior year of high school when I met her. Our school had just became co-ed so it was exciting for all of us guys to say the least. She had gorgeous chocolate hair and bright blue eyes. Everything about her was soft and gentle. I first spotted her in AP Physics my senior year, and the moment our eyes met she took my breath away. I had never seen her before, and I was shocked to say the least. When I introduced myself her cheeks blushed, and I thought she was adorably shy. She had just moved to DC from New York, and I was pretty much the first person she met on her first day.
It took me two weeks to get the confidence to ask her out. She was so damn beautiful and innocent. She accepted and I took her out that next weekend. For months we laughed and enjoyed ourselves by doing the smallest things. We went for ice cream, hung out at a diner, and we even played football in my yard. I really fell for that girl, actually I was crazy about her. She was everything the other girls weren’t, and we were perfect together. Her dad was a newly elected congressman, and her parents loved me. My dad even had dinner with her parents and then we went to prom together.
I was excited, thinking we would have sex that night and even rented a hotel room. We went to that hotel room and when she excused herself to the bathroom a text came through on her phone. It was some guy from back in New York. Of course it was a breach of privacy, but when I saw their history of texts back and forth I lost my mind. For months she acted sweet and innocent. Like she didn’t care that my father was wealthy beyond her understanding. I thought she was interested in me for the right reasons, but I was wrong.
As it turned out, she wasn’t the girl she led me to believe. It turned out the guy in New York was her real boyfriend and her parents encouraged a relationship with me to get my father’s endorsement and support. Then to top it off, my stepfather was mentioned in their texts. She never once mentioned to me that she wanted to be an actress. She used me to get to my dad for her parents and the stepfather I never met to help jump start her career. I put the phone back on the table and walked out of that hotel without saying a word. I felt like a fool and the next day was when I visited the recruiters office and signed my life away.
Addison was one hell of an actress, and she was worse than the high society girls I grew up knowing. At least the other girls showed me exactly who they were, but Addison was nothing but a liar. She grew up to become exactly what she should have been, an actress. In fact, I was looking at her face standing behind Morgan in one of her movie posters hanging on the wall. Morgan played an up and coming country music singer and Addison played her best friend. To top it off, the son of a bitch that directed the film was none other than my step father. Jonathan Powers was the man my mom left my dad for, and they were still married. In fact, she gave him two kids and she stayed for them. I was never good enough for that stuck up bitch. It was the night she left when I overheard my parents fighting. All I remember was her saying she was happy with Jonathan, and she wasn’t cut out to be my mom. She felt like being my mom was suffocating, and Jonathan didn’t have children. When the front door slammed shut that night, it was the last time I saw her and it changed my dad. He was heartbroken, depressed, and weak.
I often wondered what she told people when they asked where she came from. She probably could have hid the fact that she was from a small town in Indiana if it weren’t for her brother, Kenny. I never knew the guy, but he was who introduced my dad to my mom. It was after Kenny married an actress that became my mom’s best friend when she left my dad. It was that woman who introduced my mom to Jonathan. To top it all off, it was my cousin Jake that Morgan was involved with back in Hollywood. According to the media she had been fucking my cousin for years.
When I was growing up mom would rarely call and I definitely never saw her, then dad died, and she stepped up a little. She called once a year on her birthday and again on mine. On my birthday she would call to remind me that it was our special day and how she was responsible for giving me life. On her birthday she only called to ask if I sent her gift yet. Then she would once again remind me that she was the reason I was ever born. She did try to get me to visit her, but I had no reason to see the bitch. I knew all she cared about was dad's estate. There were a few calls here and there, but it was always because she wanted something. She had the nerve to ask me to invest in the movies my step dad was making, and sure as shit Morgan was in some of those movies. If it wasn’t Morgan it was Addison. I wasn’t good enough to be Nicole’s son, but I was perfect to ask, no demand, an investment from. Hollywood was where all the fake people went to live, and I never wanted any part of it.
Morgan wasn’t much different than Addison. She put on a sweet and innocent facade but had no problem undressing for the camera. For her to mention Felicity and the girls and act like they were below her was bullshit. The girls weren’t paid whores, and they were more real than Morgan could ever have been. Yes, there were girls that lived at Creed’s Lake. Yes, they had sex with my men, but that did not mean she was better than them. Most of those girls had traumatic histories and they were safe with us. It was a part of club life to have girls around. At least they weren’t fake or hypocrites like Morgan Rossi.
The thing that really pissed me off the most about Morgan was how good she was at faking it. I watched her change that tire today, and the way she was with that little girl at the benefit. She seemed almost domestic when she talked about baking pies. She fit in so well with the other people in town, and she was getting under my skin. I got lost in those insanely gorgeous eyes more than once. The way my heart raced, and palms sweat around her just pissed me off. Then there was the way I knew she was in a room before I even saw her. It was like I could sense her without even laying my eyes on her. Morgan was the poster child for one of the many things I hated about the world. It made no sense why I wanted to beat the life out of that Tristan asshole when he held her in his arms. It made no sense that I wouldn’t just leave her on the side of the road to change her own tire. It also made no sense why I felt so damn guilty when she walked outside the store. I upset her, or at least she acted like I upset her.
Morgan Rossi was very close to the family that never wanted anything to do with me. She was my cousin’s little play toy, and it did nothing but piss me off. I met Jake one time and that was when we were both very young. I was a few years older than him so he probably wouldn’t remember. It was right before my mom left us and I never heard from my mom or Uncle again for many years. Not until my father’s funeral and my uncle and his wife tried to apologize, but it was too late. Not even my grandparents ever reached out and I had very few memories of them. I don’t know, maybe the whole family thing was why I was okay with settling down in Cold Springs. I guess I felt like I had roots in Indiana, but I wasn’t sure if any of my family knew where I was living. My mother never asked, and likely presumed I was still in the military. She always had a lot to say about her life when she called, but never asked about mine.
I met my fair share of actors in my lifetime. Not only have we custom built bikes for them, but they came around to some swanky parties my father forced me to attend in high school. He also took me along on business trips to LA as a kid. We visited some studios and movie sets. It wasn’t to invest in movies, it was to make deals for the equipment used to make movies. My dad had his hands in almost everything from pharmaceuticals, to hotels, technology, and even the government. His favorite thing to do was invest in people. He loved new ideas and when he was presented with new ideas he would jump on it.
I fully expected my father to hate me when I signed up for the Army. We did have the big blow up as I predicted, but my dad was a forgiving man. I didn’t have many regrets until the day he died. I should have been a better son. I should have stayed with him and ran his company alongside him. Then the biggest regret came when I was captured in Afghanistan. I sold everything off that my dad built and when it came time for me to face what I thought would be my own death, that regret hit me hard. My dad was the reason Creed MC existed. He liked helping people, so I used some of his money to help people in my own way. I survived what I thought would have been my certain death, so I felt compelled to give back. It wasn’t just the people our missions saved, it was to help my fellow soldiers. The ones that needed to separate from the military but couldn’t let go of the purpose the military gave them. Every prospect that lived on Creed’s Lake was there by invite only. Many of our prospects were lost souls that needed us more than we needed them.
I didn’t miss the look Magnus gave me when he went outside after Morgan. He thought I was a real dickhead, but he didn’t know Morgan was in tight with the family that abandoned me and my dad. Hell, she was probably even friends with my mother. The woman who stupidly signed a prenuptial agreement when she married my dad. In it, there was an adultery clause. If he cheated, she got half of everything. If she cheated, she got twenty five percent of what was built after their wedding date. She got enough to call herself wealthy, but it wouldn’t last forever. That was why she decided to mend things with me after dad died. She thought she could get her claws on what I inherited. The joke was on her. She would never see a dime from me.
Axton pulled a chair out and took a seat next to me. He didn’t say a thing but looked at me like my dad would at times.
“I’m not in the mood, Axton.” I warned him.
“Then you better get in the mood. You just treated Cold Spring’s pride and joy like she was trash.” He sat back with his arms crossed, glaring at me.
“I guess you didn’t see the looks the men were giving her?”
Axton leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. “This is about your mom and cousin, isn’t it? You’re taking your anger out on someone innocent, Creed.”
I let out a sarcastic laugh then leaned in to speak quietly. “Innocent? Look around you, Axton. She sure as hell doesn’t look innocent to me in those posters. She is fucking my asshole cousin and has been for years. Don’t call her innocent to me. The last thing I need is for her to mention me to her fuck buddy. I dread the day my mother ends up on my doorstep. I’m better off with Nicole Meadows Powers never learning of my location.” It wasn’t that I went out of my way to hide from her, hell she never asked, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to give her access to me.
“From what I understand she’s only friends with that guy, and Drakos said she’s leaving her career. I don’t think she’s the woman you think she is and maybe you should let up on her some. It’s fucking obvious what you really think of her and you’re allowing your mom of all people to cloud your judgement. You want that girl, and you’re pissed about it. From what I saw today, she might just feel the same way.” He reached over and put his hand on my shoulder, making me look straight at him as he gave me a serious warning. “We owe Darren favors, and I can guarantee he will be calling them in soon. You should probably try to figure out how to tolerate that girl.”
He was right. We did owe Darren favors. Over the last few years a few of our prospects got in a little trouble. He helped the prospects, and we helped him on a few cases. To be honest it wasn’t just the prospects. Several of my men let loose in other towns on a few occasions and Darren helped us out with them too. My men were not saints, and they fought some serious demons. I had a bad feeling Morgan’s friend, and her daughter would soon be one of those favors Darren would cash in.
“Tomorrow night’s the deadline. If Shane doesn’t bring the girls, Darren will send us in before they raid their compound. They’ll get a search warrant since nobody has seen the child. You know as well as I do the state boys will get involved and use the child for the warrant. Darren won’t want her or Callie there when the raid happens.” Normally, we wouldn’t talk shop outside headquarters, but it wasn’t the kind of case we normally took. Our work was outside the country, not in our own back yard. “Send Bolton and Fischer out there in the morning to do some recon. I want eyes on that child before tomorrow night. Don’t let Magnus near that place, he’s too recognizable.”
Axton tapped his fingers on the table and gave me a nod. “I’m on it, but I still think you need to make peace with Cold Spring’s little princess. Just because the media says she’s involved with that Meadows actor doesn’t mean she’s actually fucking him. You need to let go of some of that resentment. You don’t even know the guy, he might be a better man than you think.”
I wasn’t sure why Axton kept pressing the issue. He was the only one that knew of my relations in California and I was regretting ever telling him. The chances of a man like my father having ties to the rich and famous were pretty high, so it was not a wild coincidence that Morgan had ties to my family. Jonathan Powers directed several box office hits, so of course Morgan knew him. My uncle was a musician my dad met when they were both young. Dad grew up in Chicago where his dad owned a hockey team. Kenny liked hockey and was doing a concert in Chicago. My grandfather asked Kenny to sing the Star Spangled Banner at a game and that’s where he met dad. They became friends and Kenny introduced dad to his older sister. Mom got pregnant with me right away and two weeks after they learned she was pregnant they got married. He didn’t know her well and that was why my grandfather insisted on a prenuptial agreement. My grandfather warned my dad to stay away from my mom. He said she was a gold digger and once she got what she wanted, she would toss him away. My dad on the other hand, never regretted his relationship with my mother. He loved her until the day he died.
The bell above the door rang and in came the main reason we had lunch at that place once or twice a week. It was the liars club, a group of old retired men that gathered for coffee, and it was typically where we got the county gossip. I made it a point to always know what was happening around us. We couldn’t give a shit about most of the crap they spewed, but we did want to know the rumors flying around about us. Well, that and it gave my men a sense of belonging. My men weren’t your typical soldiers. They had demons before they ever even joined the military. A few had shit stains for dads or no dad at all. Their moms were either addicts and prostitutes or they had stories of home similar to Magnus. Some lost their parents or were raised in foster care. If they had happy homes waiting for them when they got out, they sure as hell wouldn’t have been with us. I couldn’t say it was that way for all of them, but it was for most of them. We were all programmed to be soldiers, and none of us had any hope of ever being deprogrammed. I couldn’t say it was the same for all of them. Some had loving parents and great childhoods, but something broke them. Magnus was a good example of that, and I thought a few others knew heartbreak. For one reason or another they didn’t want to start a new life back home after retirement. For me it was a sense of belonging. I was never good enough for my mother and her family and all my dad’s family was gone. He was an only child just like me, and when we lost my grandparents all we had was each other.
Henry Smith, a man with bushy gray eyebrows and always wore a pair of jean bib overalls took a seat next to me. Then came Bill Warren, a farmer just a few years younger than Henry took a seat next to him. Before long I was at a table with five very stubborn old farmers.
“I saw old man Rossi's granddaughter outside. Haven’t seen that girl in ages.” Henry said.
Bill shook his head. “She’s the sweetest little thing that ever came out of Cold Springs. Its too bad some young man around here didn’t snatch her up years ago.”
“Sweetest?” I almost laughed.
Bill gave me a straight and serious look. “That girl has done more for this county than anyone. Hell, her entire family has done nothing but serve the greater good. She’s too good for Hollywood, that’s for sure.” He paused then looked to Axton then at me again. “I heard she had some car trouble.”
I nodded. “Yes, but it’s been handled.”
Henry chuckled. “I heard she’s retiring, saw Patrick just this morning. He’s bragging about it all over town. That boy has caught so much hell about his sister and those movies she’s made.”
All the old men laughed. “Imagine that torment.” Mike Knoll said.
“She’s a damn good kid. Damn proud she never sold her soul out there in California. Can’t imagine too many escape that place in one piece.” Wilford smiled proudly.
I just listened to the na?ve men speak. I wondered if she had the entire county fooled or just a select few. If they knew the kind of people she interacted with out there they probably wouldn’t say such things. My mom was the perfect example.
Bill sat back in his chair, crossed his arms and bounced his knee. “I ran into old man Meadows at the swap meet in Corbinville a few weeks back…”
That perked my ears up, but Mrs. Hoffman approached and stood behind Bill.
“He said he’s retiring, and his boy Kenny is buying the farm. He’s building a real nice house on the property. I wonder if that son of his will be moving home as well. Maybe that’s what prompted Morgan to retire back home. Maybe she and that Meadows boy will finally settle down.” Bill continued.
Mrs. Hoffman shook her head. “Now boys, don’t be starting rumors. Jenny has made it quite clear those two kids are not and have never been involved that way. Morgan is here to take a break and to find out what’s happening to Callie, that’s all. It has nothing to do with the Meadows family.”
Wilford shook his head. “It’s a damn shame what happened to that oldest daughter. Money and fame went straight to her head. The old man hasn’t seen her in years, but Kenny keeps him updated. He hinted there’s a rift between the woman’s husband and the old man. There’s some real hard feelings there, I guess.”
Frank spoke up. “What was that girls name? Damn, she must be what, in her fifties now?”
Mrs. Hoffman scoffed. “Nicole, and I remember her all too well. She’s far from a girl now, she is my age. She dated that Summers boy before she left town and broke him all to pieces. Head cheerleader, and the typical bully in my opinion. Thank God she didn’t go to school in Clarity. She would have been in my class.”
That made sense. I could certainly see my mom as a mean girl.
“Meadows liked the first husband, but he said she chose fame over a businessman. Life was too boring, and she needed more excitement. Then she went off and had three kids with that Hollywood director. It’s a damn shame people treat marriage like an inconvenience. Has the woman ever done anything for herself or just taken from those men?” Bill asked.
She didn’t do a damn thing herself. She took what wasn’t hers like a selfish bitch. I noticed no mention of me, so I guessed I wasn’t even an after thought for any of my family in Corbinville.
“Either way, it doesn’t matter. Morgan is not tangled in with that Hollywood crowd like ya’ll think.” Mrs. Hoffman then changed the subject. “What can I get for ya’ll?”
I noticed Axton glancing at me, and I didn’t acknowledge it. “Lunch was great, Mrs. Hoffman.” I stood and picked up my trash to throw it away. I had a spoiled little Hollywood actress that needed a ride. A ride that’s unnecessary since her rental probably would have made it home just fine. I stopped behind Axton and put my hand on his shoulder. “I’ll see you guys back at the lake in a few hours.” Meaning headquarters. We had a team to prepare for a mission in the morning. I tossed my paper plate in the trash and went to pay, but Mrs. Hoffman informed me our lunches were already covered. That pissed me off to no end, but I had to remember what Axton said. We owed Darren big-time, and I knew I had to figure shit out with Morgan. I had a bad feeling I’d be seeing more of the Hollywood princess in the days to come.