Shame
Creed
Shit! She must have done exactly what I hoped she wouldn’t do. She Googled me.
“You read lies on Google. There’s two sides to every story.” I was far from amused.
“No, I didn’t look you up. You’re preaching to the choir about misleading headlines and totally fabricated life stories. It’s not what I’d want people to do to learn more about me, so I don’t do it to others. It was actually Jake that gave me the hint.”
I sat back and crossed my arms. “What did he tell you? That I was the unwanted son of a billionaire that was left by his mother because she was totally mistreated by her first husband, or did he tell you the truth?”
She also sat back and crossed her arms. “He told me Nicole was pitching a fit about Kenny buying the farm. Starting drama and she had a habit of dangling the idea of meeting his grandson, Alis, to her father to manipulate him. I laughed about a guy named Alis and he corrected me and gave me the proper spelling and the name Alistair. Then you said your name and it all added up. Why didn’t you tell me? You had several opportunities.”
I sat forward. “Would you want people to know that Nicole Powers was your mom?”
She shook her head no. “Good point.”
“Would you want her popping up on your doorstep twenty five years after she left you? She’s the last person that should ever know my location. I haven’t seen her since I was very little, she left us, and never looked back. She never wanted me to have a relationship with her family, so I kept my distance. My dad was the only family I ever needed.”
“What about Kenny? He never reached out to you?” She asked.
“He came to my father’s funeral. End of story. The last thing I need is Nicole Powers learning where to find me. She’s always looking for drama and a paycheck. She doesn’t care about me, and I don’t care about her. She was never a mother, and she will never be a part of my life. I’m serious, Morgan. I do not want her anywhere near what I’ve built. Remember the non-disclosure and don’t even tell that friend of yours.” My mood quickly went south.
“That friend of mine is a very caring, kind, and amazing guy that just happens to be your flesh and blood. You would like him, Creed, and he will be a part of Addie’s life. He wouldn’t betray us and would love to finally meet you. He told me a long time ago that Nicole abandoned a son, and he wished he was able to someday meet you. And just in case you have any doubts, I will repeat myself for the twenty millionth time. I have never and would never share anything more than friendship with Jake. Not just because he is like a brother to me, but he doesn’t do relationships, and I don’t do casual. It would never work with us even if there was some sort of attraction between us.”
Why did she think I cared who she fucked? “I don’t need to know about your sex life, Morgan.” I was about to stand and leave the room, but then she spoke again.
“I’m just trying to make myself clear, so you don’t mistakenly think there’s some sort of romance between us. I’m not obligated to tell him everything about my life. I would never betray your trust. It’s something I know first hand how hard it is to give someone, especially since you don’t know me well. I think what you have here is amazing and I wouldn’t ever want to put it at risk.”
I studied those eyes and saw truth in them. “You’re not angry that I kept the truth from you?”
She snorted which was kind of adorable. “Maybe if I was a normal person, but nothing about me is normal. I don’t trust people because they use me to make money for themselves. I can’t expect you to tell me your life story. I suspect your egg donor would also use you to benefit herself. I can understand and respect your reasons for not telling me. Actually, your attitude toward me makes a lot of sense now. You understandably thought I was like Nicole and her crazy friends. I can’t blame you for that, Creed.”
She had no idea how hard it was not to reach over and take her hand in mine. But I had to remind myself that she was an actress, and I wasn’t ready to give her the trust I had no choice to give her now. She knew the truth and I figured it would happen eventually.
“Don’t forget, I’m the snobbiest bitch in Hollywood. How do you think I got that reputation? It certainly wasn’t because I went out of my way to make friends with people out there, that’s for sure. It’s time to retire. Not just because I want my freedom, but I also no longer have the backing of the studio. Jake is kind to everyone and somewhat lives that life. He sleeps around and plays the game to a certain extent. That’s not me, and now it’s time to get to know the real Morgan Rossi again. I guess I’m trying to say that I don’t need a nondisclosure to keep your secret. It’s safe, just like I have a feeling my secrets are safe with you.”
I felt the smile form on my face. “What secrets would those be, Morgan?”
A tear fell and her eyes met mine. “That I tell myself and others that I’m proud of my work, but at times I felt exposed, and exploited when I had to undress in front of the camera. That I killed a man not even two days ago and I’m so cold hearted that I don’t regret it. I’m happy he’s dead and that makes me a horrible person. I know I’ve made the news, and my dad is talking to my PR agent, but I’ve got to face the public someday and it scares me.”
I couldn’t help myself and reached over to squeeze her hand. “That doesn’t make you a horrible person. Not only did he try to kill you, he made you watch as he killed your lifelong best friend. With time you’ll find peace with it.”
I fought the urge to pull her into my arms. I knew if I did that, I’d not want to let go. I was far too attracted to her to be so close while she was vulnerable.
“I just don’t want the world to know about all the private details. I held her as she died, and those final moments weren’t just horrifying, they were private.”
I shook my head. “Nobody needs to know those details.”
She smiled through her tears. “I promise I will protect this community. I won’t breathe a word. What you are doing as far more important than anything I’ve ever done or will ever do in my life. Nicole Powers is a horrible person, and you deserve a better mother. You’re right about her, she would expose you just for all the attention and glory she craves.”
We didn’t say much more before she once again composed herself and tried to eat her salad. All she said was that my half brothers were both still teenagers and one wanted to act, while the other got into trouble most of the time. Then she asked the most obvious question. Why didn’t Nicole look me up on Google? If the stupid bitch did, she would see that I “retired” and owned a bike shop in Indiana. There was a simple answer, the woman didn’t care enough. All in all, the fact that I lived in a gated community and owned a bike shop wasn’t a secret. It was just what we really did in the gated community that needed to stay a secret. When we were done, I told her to go on up to bed and get some rest. I would take care of cleaning up dinner. Surprisingly enough, there was no mess, and it took me only a few short moments to place the dishes in the dishwasher. After that was when I went on my search using the world wide web. I wanted to look at every interview, public appearance, and anything I could find on Morgan Rossi. I was searching for any flaw in her story, any attention seeking behavior and publicity stunts. I even looked for what her costars may have said about working with her. Every costar interview said she was lovely to work with, but guarded and unwilling to interact off set. Then I found an article about her dating a history teacher and some even went back to high school when she dated Tristan. On the surface it seemed she was exactly as she said. Other than some tabloid obvious lies, there were no scandals or from what I could tell no publicity stunts. Then I hit the images icon, and I saw what people may have confused as a resting bitch face as she stood on the red carpet, but I saw something different. Her gorgeous eyes didn’t sparkle the way I saw them. They were hollow or maybe a better term would be empty. Even the ones where she was on Jake’s arm. The woman obviously rather had been anywhere but where she was at that moment.
I sat back in my office chair and ran my hand down my face then my beard. She was too good to be true. That didn’t sit easy with me. Who lived in that kind of spotlight and never fucked up? Maybe her publicists worked night and day to cover her shit up. I made a mental note to have someone from headquarters do a very thorough background check. Not that one hadn’t already been done, I did that when she first came home, but I wanted to dig a little deeper.
I glanced at the door and listened to make sure she didn’t sneak downstairs, then did the one thing I told myself I wouldn’t do. I typed Morgan Rossi Lingerie shoot in the browser and instantly regretted it. That one false move led me to one shameful as hell shower. As the water trailed down my body, my hand had a mind of its own when it began stroking my painfully hard cock. My imagination took me to visions of my hands cupping those gorgeous breasts as she rode me up and down until my release came in intense waves of pleasure. My hand slapped against the shower tile and my head rested against it as I recovered from not just the release, but the most vivid images my imagination could have conjured up.