Chapter Two
Current Day
This damn blue circle.
Every time I hit the submit button to upload the latest chapter or story I’ve finished writing, my stomach jolts like I’m going to be sick. Will my readers like it? The characters, the chemistry? What if I’m the only one who thinks it’s worth anything?
Successful upload.
That nervous anxiety twists pretty quickly into a full body high, though.
Truly, I hope the day never comes when I stop getting that thrill the moment my work hits the platform.
It’s the most nerve-wracking, addicting feeling in the world—especially now that I’ve built a readership base who pay actual money for access to my weekly smut drops.
Nobody who knows me would ever think I would do something like this.
Shy Leigh, getting behind the computer and transporting all of her deepest fantasies onto the written page for people to read.
All the things I would never say out loud, but there are faceless people online who like them just as much as I do.
These latest subscriber payments should be more than enough to cover my bills for the month.
My step-dad, Jason, is a lifesaver, and isn’t asking me to pay rent since I’m still in my junior year at college, but I did take over everything else.
Mom’s beyond proud that I put my insurance and cell phone in my name, bragging that I’ve always been mature for my age.
I can say it’s definitely not the norm for people living in the Cape Cloud area. Everyone I grew up with seems content to live at home as long as possible, and why not? When everyday is a hazy blend of restaurant reservations and afternoons at the marina, what incentive is there to leave the nest?
I have one, though. Two, actually. Two very large, very intrusive incentives to get out of here as soon as I can.
One being I’ve never fit here in Cape Cloud.
No matter what my mom and Jason tried, I was so ostracized at school that not even May and all her popularity could save me.
It was agony growing up, until they finally caved and let me complete my senior year at home.
May still came by most days after school, but the solitude was actual Heaven after years of the constant antagonizing from my school mates.
And reason two? My step-brother.
Chase.
The thorn in my side from the very first day me and Mom moved in with Jason.
Chase and his insufferable friend Danny both could have done something to stop the mean comments at school and they never, ever did.
They were well-liked, popular even. It would have taken no effort for them to take me under their wing, but they couldn’t be bothered.
Instead they just made every single minute outside of school awful too.
Chase always looked at me like he hated me being in his house. Just watching me all the time like some fucking creep that didn’t understand that constant glaring isn’t normal.
Part of me had hoped that gaining an older brother would mean protection at school, but no.
He just watched. Eyes always trained on me when I’d come in the door from the bus with tears staining my cheeks.
Watching as I ran to my room and slammed the door.
Listening as I cried to May on the phone about whatever fresh hell had happened that day.
Danny just messed with my things. He also found sick joy in pulling my mom’s Fabio style romance novels from the bookshelf in our living room and following me around while he read the spicy scenes in a growling, deep voice until my face was flaming red.
Can’t leave out the time he’d stolen my underwear and hung them from the shutters of my house.
It’s like my mortification gave him life, and that devilish smile was all I would get in return.
Anyways. If my hope had been for them to do something, I was let down completely.
Over and over and over. Everything was made a million times worse because even after he so clearly showed how much he despised me, I still wanted something, anything from him.
His attention. His eyes on me in some way that wasn’t full of hatred.
It took me a while to stop looking at him like the cute guy in the hallway and start looking at him like the boy who loathed me for no reason.
Still, even if my so-called big brother didn’t want to help me out with the bullies, karma does exist. The boy in my grade who tormented me the most crashed his car one night after a party.
It was huge news in our little town, though in our household it wasn’t ever mentioned.
I still struggle to feel bad for him, though believe me—I tried.
When Chase and Danny left for med school, the house was finally empty and I got the calm I craved.
That solitude had allowed me to start feeling peace again.
To start writing. Journaling. Vomiting my every thought into a notebook until I felt the pressure inside me ease.
May all but ripped the notebook from my hands to get me to start leaving the house again, just for small trips out to eat or to the mall.
I was grateful, I hadn’t realized how reclusive the harassment had made me until she finally started intervening.
Now I channel that same energy into what I hope will be my full-time career after college, leading my readers through the darkest fantasies that exist trapped in my head.
Only inside my head, and on the written page.
My actual love life has been very limited, and extremely vanilla, compared to the things I write.
Fingers crossed one day that won't be the case and I meet my kinky knight in shining armor.
Before I log off, I check my balance on the subscription page, pondering what I’ll do with the extra funds.
Maybe buy myself a plane ticket somewhere for a well deserved vacation, because Chase will be home in the morning, and the thought has me fucking sick.
It’s apparently too much to ask that he grow up and quit being such a jackass.
Or simply stop coming home. We aren’t little kids anymore and this icy tension has grown very old.
And, yeah, I know Jason gets so excited every time Chase visits.
He’s his dad and we would all love a perfect little family reunion.
Jason had even legally adopted me, and I'd thought it would help the tension, but this stalemate between Chase and I seems etched in stone.
No matter what anyone wants, Chase and I just don’t mesh. We never have. And even worse, I guarantee his public nuisance best friend, Danny, will be right by his side.
No. I’m out of fucks to give when it comes to them. Surely Jason would understand if I made plans with May to leave while they’re here. I could just say we have tickets to some Halloween thing, non refundable.
My phone chimes and I flip it over to see it’s another text from Isaac, my very fresh ex-boyfriend.
As if I don’t have enough shit on my plate today.
Rolling my eyes, I set the phone down. Because of who I am as a person, I didn’t make a scene after I caught him cheating on me last week, but I definitely respect myself enough not to fall for whatever bullshit he has for me today.
Men complicate everything.
After staring out the window for a moment, I call May. She’ll have some kind of solution for this weird funk I’m finding myself in.
“Hey, girl.” It’s clear I’ve interrupted her mid-shoveling food into her mouth.
“May,” I whine, falling back onto my bed.
“Something wrong?”
I scoff. “Yeah, we have less than twelve hours until my house is back to being infested with Med school douchebag's.”
“Hmmm. How did we forget to plan an escape route for you? Do you want to come do a sleepover?”
I ponder that. “Do you want to find somewhere spooky to go to tomorrow morning? Preferably in another city so we have to get a hotel room?”
I hear her keyboard clacking away, probably searching up haunted houses for us to visit. “Consider it done, I’ll text you some options in a minute.”
My notifications sound again, and a quick glance tells me it’s Isaac. I sigh. “Isaac keeps asking me to swing by and hear him out.”
“That bitch,” she snarls. “He’s not even going to come and beg in your driveway? He wants you to use your own gas just to hear him lie to your face?”
Giggling, I open the text and read through his messages. Now that I know he’d been messaging other girls for the last few months, his pleas just sound pathetic. “Something like that. In this economy?”
“In this economy?” She sing-songs back to me. “Listen, after the drama of the last year I’m about ready to propose to you. I’ll be your sugar daddy after I finish law school, and you can be my sweet little pet that writes erotica on the side. We’ll be mysterious and the public will love us.”
I smile. This is why I called her. May always has the ability to brighten things when anxiety chokes me. “I’m down. Let me pick out the ring though, okay?”
“You got it, babe. I’ll text you later. Love you.”
“Love you.”
I hang up and contemplate cleaning my room when I hear the squeak of the heavy front door from the floor below.
“Leigh!” Jason shouts. “Surprise, we’re home early!”
My stomach drops. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m not ready. Why are they here tonight?
Mom and Jason’s voices drift toward the kitchen, and the slow thumping of a suitcase, maybe two, being dragged up the stairs sets my heart racing. The whisper of the wheels on carpet continues down the hall, growing clearer until it reaches my door.
And stops.
I lick my lips, mouth suddenly dry, and for a beat nothing happens. Then the sound continues, moving down the hall toward Chase’s old room. His door opens, and a few moments later shuts.
I can feel the silence throbbing in my ears before I realize I’ve been holding my breath and exhale, feeling every bit the mouse escaping the claws of a cat.