Chapter Eight
My self-hatred starts flaying me the moment my orgasm starts to fade.
Eyes pinched shut, I try to downplay why it’s Chase’s face that comes to my mind when I need to get off.
Loathing that as soon as I let my unspoken fantasies play out in my head and in my stories, it’s him that’s there with me. His face, hands and body.
Chase. The man who’s never shown me a tender emotion, or offered me a sincere word. Just that cold gaze that never wavers. Why would that get me going? I’m fucked up. That’s the only reasonable explanation.
“Fuck,” I grit out, needing an outlet or a distraction from this self-disgust. Grabbing my phone I ignore the texts from Isaac inviting me to a Halloween party and open my messages with May.
May, I need to talk to you…
Oh shit
Let me guess
Danny hit it
What? Hell no! Why would you guess that?
Idk. Something tells me he’s got some really freaky shit going on in his pants
Sounds like you might want to check it out
Quit deflecting. What did you want to talk about?
Can we meet up tonight? I need to talk in real life
Obviously. I’ll pick you up at 8, there's a Halloween party tonight. Dress like a slut. Love you <3
Fucking great, of course there’s one party and it’s gonna be the only thing people in Cape Cloud are doing tonight. Isaac will be there…but there's a good chance I can avoid him if the party is big enough. Plus, if I start drinking immediately it won’t even bother me if we do cross paths..
Having a plan makes me feel slightly better. While I shower and pick out my outfit, I come up with ways to make it from my third floor bedroom to the driveway without having to pass Danny or Chase. Would a shimmy down the drainpipe be practical or…?
There’s still an hour to waste before May should be here, so I spend it adding small touches on my costume.
Just like every other year, I’ve chosen something that won’t attract a ton of attention but still makes me look good.
May will have all eyes on her, because she always goes as an Angel, and looks like a stunner in her strappy white bandage dress, pumps, and satin wings on her back like she’s a fucking Victoria’s Secret model.
Paired with her white blonde hair, she does look straight out of heaven.
If heaven was a place where the angels give you a hard on.
I’ve decided to go as a fairy this year, selecting a tiny, forest green crushed velvet dress with sparkly wings. Green glitter dots my cheekbones and I’ve curled my hair into wild, voluminous tendrils with tiny braids throughout.
Checking myself out, I have to admit I’ve done pretty well with what I have, especially considering I can’t access my moms bathroom to check out her huge collection of accessories and makeup.
Not to sound dramatic but I would rather die than run into Danny and Chase while I’m dressed like a fucking fairy.
The second I see May turning into our driveway I sprint down the stairs with my shoes in my hands. The front door bangs shut behind me as I run, and I can barely keep the grin from my face at her wolf whistle, diving into the passenger seat in a fit of giggles.
“Stop, you’re making me blush,” I say grinning.
“Yeah and that looks hot too, girl. So spill, what’s going on?”
I sigh heavily, my head falling back against the seat as she speeds through the winding streets. “Promise not to judge?”
She glances sideways at me. “I would never, you know that.”
I nod. “Yeah, I know. So, listen, I know this makes me sound like a total freak, I get it.” I swallow thickly, hesitating at the admission I’m about to make.
“Uh, you can’t leave me hanging like that. What have you gotten yourself into?”
“I—I think I’m attracted to Chase.” I smack my hands over my mouth, turning to stare at her with wide eyes.
If I’m expecting a dramatic reaction, she does not provide. She peers over at me for a moment, blinking before looking back out the windshield. Her brow furrows. “And? Did you tell him?”
“Are you insane? No!”
“Okay, well tell me what’s got you so worked up?”
“Did you not hear me? I think I’m into Chase.”
She stares at me for a moment, then rolls her eyes. “Are you for real, Leigh? I already knew that.”
My face scrunches. “What do you mean?”
She starts laughing and before I know it she’s laugh-crying, tears rolling down her face. “Quit it. You mean you think I haven't seen the way he stares you down whenever you’re in the room? Or the way you flush every time he talks? You guys are so obvious.”
“What do you mean ‘you guys’? He hates my guts.”
“He wants to be in your guts. Not the same thing.”
My mouth drops, which makes her laugh harder. “Listen, take my word for it. Chase has been wanting to climb in your window for a long time.” She draws out the word and shrugs. “Metaphorically since, you know, he’s your stepbrother and lives down the hall.”
I don’t know how to react, or what to say in response so I kind of just stare at her, processing this information until the car pulls to a stop at the curb.
I look over and see the giant mansion to the side of us with a winding driveway illuminated by lights in the yard.
People are milling around the stone front porch and I can hear the music from the street.
A sea of dark trees ring the property, almost like it’s been built smack in the middle of a forest. If I didn't know better, I would think it was, but society is just on the other side of this long driveway.
“You ready?” she asks, grabbing her tiny, cross shoulder white bag. I nod, tucking my phone into my bra. “Good, let’s go find your rebound hookup.”