Chapter 20 Cielo
Cielo
I once travelled to the States to meet a drug lord who was far too persistent in trying to get the Fusaro family back into the drug business.
I turned up to that meeting with just my gun and Toni as backup.
I faced down that little arsehole and his crew of overgrown toddlers, without a flicker of apprehension.
That is the level of calm and control I have over myself—had over myself—until I kissed Benjamin. I’d rather take on a thousand drug cartels than feel this unnerved by that man. No one has ever gotten to me like that, not even Pietro.
But when Benjamin grabbed my wrist and looked at me the way he did, I was powerless to keep calm. My nerves became electricity pylons, and his attention sent them into overdrive until I short-circuited.
I’ve been called beautiful before, but the way Benjamin said it, after everything we’ve been through together, broke something in me. He wasn’t telling me my body was beautiful, he was referring to something he sees in me—something I’ve never let anyone else see.
Even with Pietro, I had to keep up a facade. He was a part of my world and knew what it took to be in a position of power. Maybe, deep down, I knew Pietro wasn’t a safe option to open myself up to.
It doesn’t matter now. What’s important is that I had my tongue in Benjamin’s mouth and my hands on his hips.
I expected him to push me back, maybe even strike me for being so presumptuous, but he didn’t do those things.
In fact, he grabbed my hair in a way that told me he was more than enjoying our shared experience.
And then it was shattered by none other than his parents and Lorenzo.
He must be freaking out now. No doubt he’ll ignore me in the morning or even hide from me. Of course, he’ll realise what a monumental mistake it was to kiss the man who shot his best friend.
My head shoots to the door when I hear a soft knock. It can’t be. With hesitation, I reach for the handle. Maybe it’s Phillipa or Mary here to warn me off. They had clearly figured out what we were doing the second they laid eyes on us.
It’s neither of Benjamin’s mums.
“Benjamin,” I say stupidly.
“Can I come in?” He’s wringing his hands, clearly nervous. I step to the side and allow him to pass. I’ve only just shut the door when he’s all up in my space. “You kissed me!”
“I did.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to.” It’s like I’m on a game show and this is the quickfire round.
“You think I’m beautiful?”
“Yes.”
“But not in wool?” Why on earth is that something to focus on? I’d said it as a joke…kind of.
“You are beautiful no matter what. I just don’t care for the material.”
This is bizarre, but I’ll play along if that’s what Benjamin needs.
“You took my clothes.”
“I did.”
“I like the ones you gave me, and that makes me mad.”
“Okay. Sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Okay, I’m not.”
He’s so close I could pull him into me in a second and claim those delicious lips again, but I restrain my urge. Benjamin is working through something, and I don’t want to ruin my chances by doing something stupid.
“I wanted to kiss you, too.”
“You should hate me,” I say. It’s true. He should hate me—everything about me—and I don’t understand why he doesn’t. I know I explained how things work around here, but I didn’t think for a second he would suddenly go from his original judgements to…this. “Unless…”
“Unless?”
It suddenly occurs to me that Benjamin’s recent behaviour may indicate this is a revenge thing.
I know the kiss in the kitchen would have led to sex if we’d not been interrupted.
It’s more than likely Benjamin was subconsciously trying to hate-fuck me.
Just like his drinking, it’s a way for him to cope.
And the thought sends acid shooting to my throat. How could I have been so stupid?
“Cielo,” he says, his eyes boring into me.
“It’s okay,” I say, “I understand.”
“Well, that’s fantastic. Care to fill me in because I haven’t got a bloody clue what you’re talking about.”
“Benjamin, there is no chance on this earth you like me that way. Look how we started.”
“So, for what reason do you think I was kissing you?”
I shrug. “A hate-fuck is a great way to take back power.”
I regret it the second I say it because the look on his face is one I never want to see again. He takes a step back but doesn’t say a word. It’s my turn to wring my hands.
“Sit on the bed,” he commands, and takes me entirely by surprise.
“Ben—”
“Sit.”
I sit. He paces back and forth with his hands curled into fists by his side. Damn, he’s quite intimidating. I see the fire in his eyes again, and my ridiculous body lights up. Why do I have to find that type of behaviour so attractive?
After a few more trips back and forth, he stops directly in front of me.
“One, I would never kiss you, or anyone, with hate or anger. I’m not built that way and I’m mad at you for thinking I would be capable of doing that.
We might have a lot to learn about each other, but I’d like to think you know me well enough to never think I’d do such a thing. ”
I go to respond, but he flicks my nose, which stuns me. No one has ever flicked my fucking nose to get me to shut up. It makes me want to laugh.
“Second…I still want to kiss you. And third, I really like your hair down, but that’s just an observation I wanted to voice.”
I can’t stop from laughing now. He scowls, but stops the second I reach for his hips and draw him to me. We’re a reversed version of the kitchen scene and that’s fine. I enjoy looking up and into his eyes.
“I want to kiss you, too.”
“So do it already.” Wow, he’s kinda bossy when he wants to be.
Curling my hand around his neck, I pull him down until his lips are a millimetre from touching mine. I just need a second to compose myself because this is a lot to take in, and let’s be clear: We’re in my bedroom and once I kiss him, I’m not going to stop until I’ve tasted every inch.
His tongue breaches my lips, and it’s on.
We crash together with ragged breaths. My hands travel from his hips to his arse, which makes him buck forward.
I pull a little harder until he climbs aboard and straddles my hips.
Benjamin takes my hair in his fists again and pulls, earning another moan from me.
I wish to God we weren’t wearing so many clothes because I can’t wait to get my hands on him.
Benjamin must read my thoughts because he instantly starts unbuttoning my shirt.
Gone are the nervous fingers he’d displayed when at my door.
This Benjamin is fully in charge; another fact that is foreign to me.
In the boardroom and bedroom, I’m always the top dog—until now.
Warm air caresses my body as the shirt slips from my shoulders.
I suck on his bottom lip as he works his fingers over my pecs.
In seconds, I’m nude from the waist up and having my nipples pinched.
My body is on tenterhooks as he trails his fingers down my stomach to the belt buckle and fastener on my pants.
“Lay down,” he commands again. I do as I’m told and watch him pull at my trousers. He has me laid bare before him and I start to feel uneasy. That doubt creeps into my mind. Why isn’t he naked? Is this a set-up?
Something in my face must relay my feelings because he starts to slowly take off his clothes. His eyes never leave mine.
“Move up,” he whispers. I shuffle up the bed, watching him disrobe. I knew he was hiding an amazing body under all that wool. My God, his torso is heaven-sent, I swear it.
It’s usually around this time when I take over, but I can’t.
I’m too excited to see what he does with me…
to me. The last thing he does is run a hand through his usually neat hair, ruffling it up a little.
His Italian roots are shining through as he stands there, watching me watch him.
I’m about to ask him what he wants, when the bed dips and he crawls up along my body until he’s hovering above me. I can’t fucking breathe.
For the first time since he kissed me, I see a sliver of uncertainty. Is he changing his mind?
“I…I’m not very experienced,” he murmurs, and oh, thank God, he’s not about to hop off and run away.
Taking his hips in my hands again, I guide him to kneel over me. His arousal is right there, hard and demanding. “Do what you want, Benjamin. I’m yours to command.”
The fire reignites, and I could cry out in joy as he leans forward, bracing himself.
Hands planted firmly on either side of my head, he leans down but doesn’t kiss me.
Instead, he hovers there, his breath mingling with mine, his body trembling with anticipation.
It’s possibly the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
My need grows exponentially watching him like this—vulnerable, wanting, waiting for me to touch him. My own arousal throbs painfully as his breathing becomes more irregular.
“Look at me,” I say, because if he’s about to orgasm for the first time, I want to witness every second through his eyes.
He holds my gaze for a long moment, then shifts his position, his hands bracing on the headboard as he moves higher. My hands brush up his sides until I have his hips in my palms, guiding him.
Benjamin braces himself against the wall, and I wrap my hand around him, stroking slowly at first. All I can do is enjoy the moment and hope he wants a second round, because one go is not going to be enough.
I gather him into my mouth and he gasps. The moment I take him deeper, he bucks harder and fills the silence with his growing moans and curses. My name has never sounded so good as it does right now, slipping from his mouth in a gasping plea.
I work him with my tongue and then take him deeper, repeating until he’s quivering and pulling my hair so my face gets even closer.
I may not be able to breathe, but, by God, I’m going to shatter his world in the right way.
I’m going to make him come so hard he’ll be walking on jellied legs for a week.
Just as I think he’s finally going to tip over the edge, Benjamin reaches back and wraps his hand around me. I’m so surprised and turned on I almost choke as a deep moan reverberates out of my throat.
Undeterred by my reaction, Benjamin strokes me with purpose and intensity. I’m lighting up from the inside and on the verge of climaxing. Benjamin’s renewed thrusts are the only reason I’m able to hold on.
“I’m so close,” he gasps, and all I can do is take him deeper. He strokes me with precision and determination until my thighs shake violently and there isn’t a thing I can do to stop the orgasm from hijacking my every cell.