Chapter 22 Cielo
Cielo
We found each other again after falling asleep. It was slow, and lazy, and perfect. I honestly thought Benjamin would wake up and freak out, but he didn’t. He rolled over, and the dance began again.
Once we’d finished, we didn’t go back to sleep.
Instead, we spent a few hours talking about everything and nothing.
It was refreshing to have a normal conversation that wasn’t laced with familial worries or complicated business deals.
No matter how hard I try to distance the family from the underworld around us, there is always something lingering in the background, ready to pull me back in.
But last night and the early hours of this morning were different.
I didn’t have the prickle at the back of my neck as we talked about favourite movies or Benjamin’s wool obsession.
I had to know where it came from. He took my jibes as they were intended: light-heartedly.
I managed to get him to admit he enjoys fine Italian clothing better than a cardigan, so I call that a win.
I found out his favourite colour—orange—which surprised me due to his love of beige wool.
His favourite food? Cheese and onion sausage rolls, and his favourite animal is the Giant Panda.
Solid choice, the creatures are cute. Most importantly, I now know his favourite books, which then led me to download Criminal Casanova.
We read some parts together until we reached the spot Benjamin had reached the day I took him.
He refused to read any more and banned me also, which I found funny.
He lasted ten minutes until his curiosity got the best of him and we continued the story.
The conversation then took a more serious turn.
Benjamin wanted to know more about the other Mafiosi families and our pact.
I shouldn’t have told him anything, but if anyone deserves some clarity, it’s him.
He asked about the Arellos and if I really thought he was in as much danger as we originally believed.
I understood his confusion, considering Giani hasn’t made a move at all.
He’s quiet—too quiet—and I know that means he’s scheming, but I didn’t want to freak Benjamin out, so I told him we just needed to be cautious a little while longer until I was sure he could go home.
We both grew quiet when I said “home” because it burst our bubble.
As wonderful as our time together has been, it will end.
He will go home and resume his life, as will I.
Instead of ending things on a down note, I rolled him over and peppered him with kisses.
We fell asleep an hour later, after a few more rounds.
The sun kissing the top of my head woke me. I often sleep with the drapes open because I love the smell of the ocean and the breeze, which smells of vines and sea salt. Now I wish I’d shut them so the light hadn’t woken me. Because as soon as Benjamin wakes up, it’s over.
Maybe one night was all we were ever meant to be. Let’s be realistic, we’re completely incompatible. Our lives are too different, Benjamin is too innocent, and I hate that he’s been dragged into this life through no fault of his own.
He stirs beneath me. I’m wrapped around him with my face against his shoulder.
I think it might be my new favourite place.
I hardly recognise myself. Days ago, the feelings I had towards Benjamin bordered on contempt, but now I think I got it wrong.
I think my heart knew he was dangerous for me and acted accordingly.
The anger and frustration were a protective shroud my heart cast around me to prevent this.
One night with Benjamin Moss and I’m wrecked.
“Mornin,’” he mumbles as he turns into me. His head tucks under my chin as he wiggles his body, burrowing into me. I can’t help the smile that forms on my face.
“Good morning,” I reply, kissing the top of his head.
“I love your accent,” he says sleepily.
“I know. You told me several times last night.” I chuckle.
“Well, it’s sexy.”
“Mmm.” I don’t want this to end, but a look at my clock tells me it’s going to, and fast. I have a lot on my plate and can’t shirk off.
Benjamin told me he plans to talk to Lorenzo today, and I don’t want him to back out of that because he’s with me.
It’s important they get the chance to connect, or at least get some closure.
“Would you like some breakfast?”
“I don’t want to move,” he mumbles.
“You don’t have to.” I laugh. Reaching over, I take the phone and dial one. It’s a direct line to the kitchen. With breakfast ordered, I snuggle back down and hold Benjamin for a little while longer. Only when I hear the knock on my bedroom door do I pull myself out of his embrace.
We sit and eat, sipping coffee that makes Benjamin wince. He’s never had a proper espresso before, which is a tragedy. I have to explain why Starbucks and Costa Coffee are not the bar to which one compares a good cup of coffee.
“I have to go to the office,” I say once the food is finished and coffee is drunk. I can’t put it off any longer. He nods but doesn’t look at me. “Benjamin?”
Sucking in a breath, he lifts his eyes. “Is this it?”
What can I say? I don’t want it to be a one-night stand, but in what universe could we ever be more? There is already a ticking clock counting down to the day he leaves Italy.
“I think it has to be,” I say softly. “I think a friendship with you is all I can ask. If you want that, too.”
He smiles gently and cups my cheek. “It’s not what I want, but I don’t think we have any other choice.”
I close my eyes because looking into his face is causing me actual pain.
He’s so beautiful, and I’m angry at myself for allowing this to happen.
As wonderful as it has been, I’ve well and truly set myself up for pain, just like I did with Pietro.
Only this will be worse, because I know Benjamin is a good person.
He’s nothing like Pietro, and in another life where I’m not on the cusp of becoming Don Mannucci, I would have held on to Benjamin and never let him go, because he is the real deal.
We dress and Benjamin leaves with a sweet kiss on the cheek. I’m sure, like me, he will take a bit of time to fully digest what happened between us. But I’ll have to do my processing later. I’ve got work to do.
“So, you fucked him then,” Roberto says from my office door. I clench my jaw and pretend his casual use of the word “fuck” is anything but an insult to what Benjamin and I did last night.
“Careful, Roberto,” I caution.
I don’t have to see the eyeroll to know he’s doing it. Pushing off the frame, Roberto settles in the chair opposite me. “No need to get sensitive. I’m just a bit surprised.”
“As was I.”
“Good, though?”
“Fantastic,” I murmur.
“And this morning?”
I shrug. “It didn’t end in tears, if that’s what you mean.”
“Okay. Good talk. Now, on to business. Giani is way too quiet. His absence isn’t sitting right with me, Cielo.”
Putting my pen down, I lean back and look up, closing my eyes. Just one day of peace is all I ask.
“I agree, but until he does something, my hands are tied. The other families are aware of the situation. I can’t undermine the pact, otherwise Giani wins. I need him to fuck up first.”
Roberto rubs his chin. “Shall I double the surveillance, then?”
“Yes. I want to know where he is at all times.”
“Done. Are you personally receiving this week’s shipment?”
Nodding, I stretch my neck. “Yes, I’ll head to the docks tomorrow night. Changing up the schedule was a good idea. It stops the Arellos from fucking with any more of our cargo. I don’t know if I can talk Lorenzo down if it happens again.”
Roberto bites his lip. “Are you going to tell him you want out?” he says. I freeze at the prospect.
Is that what I want? To be fully out and free of the mob? The thought would have been unthinkable a few months ago. So much has changed.
“Meaning?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I’m not stupid, Cielo. For all your blustering about becoming Don Mannucci, you’re miserable. And don’t think I haven’t noticed the decrease in shipments recently. You’re slowly pulling the family away from that side of things. You have been since taking the lead.”
I smile at him because Roberto always impresses me. He’s smart and on the ball. Putting aside his mistake the other night, Roberto is the ultimate professional and is keen to learn.
“Is that a problem for you?” There are people in this life who love it. I’m talking about the criminal aspect; they love the rush and some enjoy the cruelty. Giani Arello is a prime example.
“No, why would it be? As long as we’re making money, I don’t give a shit either way. I’m just worried.”
“About?”
“Lorenzo. As much as he’s tried to steer the family in the right direction, he’s still his father’s son. The Fusaro family is at the top of the food chain, and I’m worried he won’t be as happy to leave that part of things behind. It’s in his blood, Cielo.”
“It’s in mine too. Trust me, I understand.
The money we make through that line of revenue is staggering.
It’s easy money and it keeps us in power.
But is that a good reason to risk our freedom?
I’m not being dramatic when I say our lives are in constant danger.
We’re not untouchable, as much as the other families like to believe.
The Fusaro family has more money than God!
We don’t need any more. But we do need to be smart and make sure we’re still around to spend our billions.
Every time we secure a shipment, I’m aware it could be our last. For all I know, the feds will be waiting for me tomorrow and I’m tired of living like that when it isn’t necessary. ”
“Hey, I get it. I think the rest of the family will too, as long as they get to keep their lifestyles. But Lorenzo?”
“He will see sense. He has to. Maybe Benjamin’s appearance is the key.”
“Maybe. Just tread carefully, Cielo. You’re not the named Don of this house just yet.”
“I understand. And thank you, Roberto. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Our impromptu conversation has a pit of vipers curling around my stomach.
I feel like I’m battling on all sides right now.
Surely Lorenzo won’t fight me on this? Not when he’s already so tired and ready to retire.
He has to see there is no future for the family if we stay on this road.
One day the Mafiosi will be taken out, and I don’t want us anywhere near it when it happens.
I need some air. The Arellos, Lorenzo, and the shipment tomorrow follow me like a black cloud.
I’d like to tick one thing off my list so it isn’t weighing me down.
The shipment tomorrow is the only thing I can really control right now.
I’ll reach out to our guy inside the feds to make sure we’re not on anyone’s radar.
It’s not a surefire way to make sure we’re not under surveillance.
The law knows we have people in their ranks and are usually extremely guarded about any plans they have against us.
Our guy is solid, though. No one would suspect him, so I have faith I can trust him if he tells us everything is quiet.
The sea air fills my lungs and I feel the darkness clear.
I may not like doing this job very much, but I’m damn good at it.
I’ll work out a way to convince Lorenzo we need to permanently step away from the Mafiosi.
I’ll deal with the Arellos. I’ll do it all, because I’m heir Cielo Mannucci, soon to be named Don Mannucci of the Fusaro family.
I’ll do it, because it’s the only way I could possibly have a real chance with Benjamin Moss.