Chapter 31 Benjamin
Benjamin
My heart hurts. Leaving the villa is the last thing I wanted to do, but how could I say no to my mums? They were so afraid for me, they broke down several times. I’d never seen them like that.
But then I picture Cielo’s face that morning, and how his eyes became frantic at the sight of my parents packing for me.
I had a choice. And now I think I made the wrong one.
Instead of telling him how I felt, I thought it was better to leave it unsaid, parting as friends, instead of heartbroken lovers who’d only just started getting to know each other.
The logical side of my brain told me at the time, it was for the best. I needed to see if my feelings for him were true and not just the response to a trauma. I could kick my own arse for it, though. Instead of following my heart, I let my head and my mums’ influences take over.
It’s been three weeks since I left and I haven’t heard from Cielo even once. We traded one consolatory kiss at the villa door and then I left. I couldn’t bring myself to text him at the airport or when we arrived home. It was all too much.
My parents have finally gone back to their lives after a heated discussion this morning. They’ve been full-on for weeks, and I got to the end of my tether when they were deciding if I should go back to work or not.
Suffice to say, they were not pleased when I kicked them out of my flat. But it had to be done—for my sanity and for our relationship.
“Morning, sunshine,” Kevin chirps. He’s been managing the bookshop since we returned from Italy.
Clive was suspiciously okay with me being away for so long without giving him notice.
The brand-new car and watch he’s flashing around gives me a clue as to his behaviour.
I’m sure the Fusaros lined his pockets to keep him quiet and compliant.
I won’t complain. It’s given me plenty of time to work through what happened.
A part of me is desperate to know what’s going on over there. I want to know what happened to Giani. Is he still a threat? Is he still alive? What does it all mean for Cielo?
No matter how hard I try, I can’t get him out of my head. I’ve stopped admitting that out loud as to avoid Penny bursting out into song. I love Kylie Minogue, but I can’t hear one more rendition of “Can’t Get You Out of My Head.”
“Morning, Kev.”
“Happy to be back?” He dumps his bag in the back and walks out with two coffees in a tray. “I brought you a welcome-back latte.”
“Ah, you didn’t have to, but I appreciate it. I’ve had a rough morning.”
“Mama and Mum?”
“Bingo!”
“Wanna talk about it?”
I shake my head. “Nope. I want to talk about anything but that, thanks.”
“Okay. The new Bagman book is out tomorrow. Wanna talk about that?”
The bell jingles above the shop door and Janice prances in. “Oh, you’re back!”
“I am.” This is the last interaction I want to have right now, but Clive still won’t fire her so I have no choice.
“Are you the boss again?”
“I’m back in my role as store manager.”
“Huh. Great. Well, boss, I need to take the afternoon off. I have a dentist appointment.”
“You’ve had seven this year, Janice. I can’t authorise any more paid time off. I’ll get your shift covered but it will be unpaid leave.”
I’ve had enough of her shit to last a lifetime. If there’s one thing I take away from my time with Cielo and the mob, it’s standing up for myself more.
“Clive—”
“Isn’t in charge. Now, I have work to do and so do you. Start by unloading the new releases in the kids’ section. When you’ve done that, you can man the till.”
Janice stalks off with a murderous stare at me. I look at her with boredom until she’s out of eyesight.
Audrey suddenly rounds the corner, beaming. “That was fantastic. Way to stand up to the silly old cow, Benjamin.”
“When did you get here?” We’re not even officially open yet.
“Oh, I nipped in behind Kevin. I wanted to get my hands on the second Loch the book that helped us bond.
“The book with the terrible title,” he says with a smile.
“C-Cielo, hi.”
“Hello, Benjamin. How are you?”
“Um, fine thanks. You?”
Jesus, this is painful and unnecessary. The man’s been inside me, for crying out loud. There’s no reason we should talk like strangers. And yet, I can’t find it in me to say anything else in case it breaks the spell and he leaves.
“Have you got time to talk? I can come back later.”
“He can talk now,” Kevin interrupts. “It’s good to see you, Cie.”
Cie? Since when did they become bosom buddies?
“Kevin, I’m at work,” I say for an unknown reason, because I do, in fact, want to talk to him. It’s the only thing I want to do. Sadly, it’s my knee-jerk reaction to do the opposite of what someone tells me to do. I’m a work in progress.
“I’ll come back,” Cielo says, and I don’t miss the hint of disappointment.
“No, wait. I can talk. Come with me.” Turning, I head for the office. Butterflies and all manner of other winged creatures take flight in my stomach as I lead him to the cramped, windowless room.
My palms are sweaty, and I pray I’m not getting upper lip sweat too.
Not very attractive, Benjamin.
“You’re wearing the clothes,” he says quietly.
I fidget for a second. “They’re really nice clothes.”
I cast out all my wool the second I got home.
“You look beautiful.”
My face heats. “What did you want to talk about?”
“May I?” he asks, pointing to the only other rickety chair in the room.
I nod, and he sits. My office chair squeaks embarrassingly as I sit. Cielo straightens his silk shirt and tucks his hair behind his ears. It’s nice to see him looking more relaxed. I half expected to see the severe topknot again.
“I’m sorry I haven’t kept in touch. I’ve been rushed off my feet.”
So, he’s still running the family. I don’t know why I expected anything else. It’s his life.
“That’s okay. The phone works both ways.”
“I wanted to tell you why I’ve been busy,” he says. I’m not sure I’m ready to hear about the family business again. “Lorenzo and I have been working to break the Fusaro family away from the Mafiosi—cleanly.”
“O-okay. I don’t know what you mean by that.”
He shuffles forward on his seat. “It means our business is no longer connected to the mob. We’re free. No more pacts, no more crime.”
“Why? I mean, that’s everything you and Lorenzo have wanted. You were on top, right?”
“And you know I was unhappy. Everything changed when I met you, Benjamin.”
I can’t believe my ears.
“I know you said you’d never marry a mob king or become a sex slave to one,” he says with a smile, “but would you be open to dating an Italian man who loves fine wine and fashionable clothes? A man who hasn’t stopped thinking about you since the day he laid eyes on you in this very store?”
“You want to date me?” I’m aware my voice is higher than normal, and there is nothing I can do to control it, because I am flabbergasted and excited and ready to shout my joy from the rooftops.
“I want to date the hell out of you.”
“What about the vineyard?”
“It’s still going—stronger than ever, but I needed a break. I needed to come here and fight for my chance with you, Benjamin.”
“You want to stay here? In the UK?”
“I’ll stay wherever you want me to. Just say you’ll give us a chance.”
I’m on my feet in a nanosecond. Hell, yeah, I’m giving us a chance.
He catches me as I launch myself into his lap.
Taking his face in my hands, I kiss him hard.
It’s bruising and not exactly romantic, but I’m just happy he’s here and wants me.
There is plenty to talk about and I have a million questions, but they can wait.
“Is that a yes?” he mumbles in my mouth.
“A definite yes.”
We’re interrupted by Janice walking in. Her face is a picture of glee. “Wait until Clive—”
“Oh, fuck off, Janice.”
She gapes at me. “Well, I never.”
Standing up, I pull Cielo to his feet and out of the office. “Kevin, I’m taking the rest of the day off. You’re in charge.”
Is leaving professional? Nope. Do I care? Again—nope.
“Ben, we can wait until later,” Cielo says, which makes me cackle like a Disney villain.
“Save your breath, Cie. You’re coming home with me. I’ve got three weeks of wasted sexy time to catch up on.”
Cielo doesn’t protest again. Kevin whoops and laughs. We walk down the street holding hands. I say “walk,” but it’s more like a quick march. By the time we reach my apartment, I’m out of breath, but a little wheezing won’t stop me.
The door shuts behind us and Cielo is on me, his body pinning me to the wall. “I’ve missed you.”
His tongue invades my mouth. He tastes how I remember, which ignites me even more. “Cielo, don’t make me wait.”
“Patience,” he coos.
“I’m not…” My words die on my tongue as he slips his hand down my slacks and takes me firmly in his palm.
“I might be out of the mob, but I’m still the boss. Do you understand?”
Pretty sure I just came, to be honest.
“Yes, Don Mannucci,” I whimper. He growls and pumps me at an unforgiving speed. The force has me singing to the ceiling in seconds.
I think back to the conversation I had with Kevin about Riley, the main character from Criminal Casanova falling in love with Mob King, the day I met Cielo.
I remember thinking how implausible it sounded.
But then I got tossed into my own mafia romance, and here I am absolutely and irrevocably being seduced by a mobster.
I should write a book about it.