Saint
“You’re pacing again,” Dagon says from where he sits at the table in what has been deemed the snack room. He’s already had three muffins in the time it’s taken me to recap what happened earlier.
“Did you hear what I said?” I stop pacing, glaring down at him.
He takes another bite of his fourth muffin, chewing it with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Yeah, I heard you.” He sets the muffin down.
I envy his calm resolve. The way contentment rests over every inch of him.
He’s still the powerful, elemental hunter I’ve always known, but there’s a sense of stillness in him now that he’s never had before.
I’d be a fool to deny that the shift in him has everything to do with his recent mating of Annika.
It’s easy enough for me to read now that all my hunter brothers, save for Samuel, are mated.
“She only wants to feed from me,” I repeat the words. I keep thinking if I say them out loud enough, they’ll lose their shock factor. “Do you realize how fucked up that is?”
Dagon furrows his brow. “It makes a ton of sense, actually.”
I glare at him harder, reaching for my knife to give my hands something to do.
“Don’t stab me just yet,” he says. “Let’s pretend that mark on her neck doesn’t exist. Let’s pretend this happened a week ago. You’re the only one who’s been able to help her feed. You’re the reason she’s alive, Saint.”
The notion pricks my soul. Had I not helped her feed after she first turned, she would’ve succumbed to either stasis from not feeding or bloodmadness. Both were horrendous options I’d never let happen.
“That’s because I alter her reality and make her believe the blood is wine.
She’s never bitten anyone before, Dagon.
” Fire lashes the edges of my skin at the mere thought of Aurora biting into my flesh.
My blood spilling into her mouth, filling her, sating her, strengthening her.
My dick hardens at the image of her riding me while she drank—
Fuck. Stop.
“Okay, sure. Your powers help her,” Dagon says. “It’s still true. But she’s stronger than she looks. She’s come so damn far after everything she went through, and you and I both know that no one outside of you truly knows the half of it.”
Everything she went through. Meaning the chaos and torture my twin brother subjected her to. The madness that followed. The fog we’ve been chipping away at one dream and vision at a time.
“She’s opened up to me because of the connection my power offers,” I counter. “There’s no hiding the truth when I’m in that deep.”
Dagon cocks a brow at me. “You know that’s not the only reason she’s opened up to you.” He eyes the mark on my neck, the one identical to hers…identical to Samuel’s.
“We don’t know whose mark it is,” I growl.
“It’s more than that,” he fires right back. “You’ve been her lifeline since we found her. How can you be shocked she’d want to feed from you when forced to choose?”
“I don’t know,” I grumble. “I don’t want her mind clouded by the help my abilities offer her.” I don’t want to take her choices away without knowing it. Fuck, what if by taking care of her, I’ve somehow altered her mind to soften to me?
“She’s more lucid now than she’s ever been before,” he continues. “Annika and Cassandra and the other girls have been helping her just as much as you have. You’ve seen that. It’s not just about your powers.”
“Then why doesn’t she want to feed from one of them?
” I ask even though the idea of her fangs inside anyone else’s neck is abhorrent to me.
She’s been my responsibility since we found her in that abandoned house, chained up and barely clinging to life.
My responsibility because I didn’t have the strength to stop my brother at the first hint of his defection.
Dagon eyes me. “You’re smarter than that.”
I sink into the chair next to him.
“She’s wearing your mark, Saint. Speaking as someone with mate experience, it will drive her straight back into madness if you deny feeding her for too long.”
Panic lashes through me, my instincts itching to move. “We’re not sure that’s my mark,” I say again. “You’ve said it yourself, there are signs.” I sigh. “I don’t know if I’m having any.”
I sink inward, desperate for a clear answer. Aurora deserves so much more than me, but if fate chained her to her abuser? I’ll burn the entire world down if it would break that bond.
“There are signs, but you know from all of us that this isn’t an exact science. And it’s still really early. Give it time and be open to any possibilities.”
“I have no idea how to be open to anything.” I’ve kept myself closed off for so long, I’m not sure how to be any other way.
Dagon shifts away from the table, an idea churning behind his eyes that makes my instincts prickle. He heads closer toward the door, almost like he’s retreating.
“Okay, how about this? I’ll ask Annika if…” He pauses, his focus on me but his body poised to run. “I can feed Aurora.”
I’m on my feet instantly, fangs out, ready to shred him. “Fucking. Asshole.”
Dagon laughs, hurrying out of my way as I storm past him.
“You’re lucky I don’t kill you.” I throw over my shoulder, feeling as out of control as the instincts demanding I act—to bite and claim and fuck. But I’ve always felt that way about Aurora, mark or not.
And it’s the last thing I can act on because Aurora means too much to me. She shouldn’t be mated to either of us. My brother, her abuser, or me, his twin, the walking reminder of all she suffered.
“You really think he’s in lycan territory?” Ajax asks as he quietly follows me.
“I wouldn’t put it past him to hide here.
To try and throw us off.” We venture deeper into the territory, down one of the more secluded districts.
This street is packed with industrial warehouses and a few hole-in-the-wall bars.
We’ve searched this territory before, all the supernatural territories actually, but I won’t stop until I find him.
“I’m surprised Alek got you access to hunt here.” Ajax eyes me, almost like he’s asking if we’re here legally.
“He made the request himself at Conclave earlier,” I assure him. Though, he’s not wrong to be suspicious of me. There’s no line I won’t cross to bring Samuel to justice. He’s been allowed to live for too long after all he’s done.
The image of Aurora in chains, emaciated and terrified, flashes in my mind.
Despite her being mostly healed and healthy now, I’ll never forget the moment I laid eyes on her.
The pain that lashed through my heart. The way it felt like I was being starved all over again.
I knew first-hand the lengths my brother went to during his torture sessions thanks to him imprisoning me when he tried to force a marriage to Avianna, the princess.
And because of my abilities, I also knew exactly what he’d done to her.
She’d trusted me with her pain. He deserved worse than death.
“Good,” Ajax says, turning left down another block we’ve yet to clear. “I was just checking.”
“And if I’d said he hadn’t?”
“You know I’d be here either way.” Ajax flashes me another look. “I’m with you. We all are.”
I nod. I know they are. Dagon and Talon and Zachariah are exploring the witch lands, even though we’ve checked those extensively. We’ve checked everywhere. Every time we get a hint of Samuel’s scent, he disappears again. I hate it.
I hate him.
The pain of that irrefutable, ice-cold hatred slices into the twin bond still buried inside my soul. The one we were born with, the connection that should’ve allowed me to track him down. It’s failed me continuously, never offering a concrete location for where my brother is hiding.
He’s always been better at accessing and utilizing the bond more than me, but I believe it’s also because the brother I once knew and loved is wholly gone, not a trace of him left.
He’s fully transitioned into a monster with no redemption.
There aren’t many cases throughout our history of twins murdering each other, but the few that are, all caution the act.
Twin bonds are powerful. Killing him, severing that bond, will likely kill me too.
I’ll gladly forfeit my own life if it means stopping him.
Aurora’s face flashes behind my eyes. She’d be my only regret. Leaving her here to navigate the world on her own, and me never knowing what it’s like to kiss her, to hear her laugh, to watch her fall in love with the night.
“Anything?” Ajax asks me after we’ve cleared another block.
“Don’t smell anything other than lycan and beer.” Failure threatens to choke me.
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
Part of me wonders what would’ve happened if I had just chased after Samuel when he tossed Aurora off the roof. If I’d gone after him and trusted Dagon to save Aurora from the fall. Would this all be over? Would Aurora still bear our mark? Would she forgive me for not being the one to save her?
I’ll never know, because I would make the same choice again. There’s no world that exists where I don’t put her safety first.
Is that a mating bond sign? Or is it simply my ongoing affections for her?
Because ever since we found her, she’s the only one who can distract me from my hunt for Samuel.
My focus is split in two—one is on her and how much she needs to feed properly, now that the blood supply is tainted.
The other is frothing at the mouth to stop Samuel and his role in the Sons of Honor war.
I hate that it’s clear which of those focuses will be easier to achieve.
“Want to call it?” Ajax asks after another couple hours of searching the lycan district with no luck.
I flick my blades closed, sliding them into their holsters on the harness I wear.
“Fucking guess so.”
“There are people who need you back at the residence anyway,” Ajax offers.
I snap my gaze to him.
He shrugs. “Okay, one vampire in particular really needs your attention.”
“We don’t know it’s my mark—”
“It doesn’t matter if it is or isn’t,” he says, cutting me off. “Aurora needs to feed. You know she does. She’s come too far for you to let her slip now. If you’re the only one she’s comfortable with, you need to suck it up and let her do it. Get it, suck—”
I glare at him. “Dagon got to you.”
Ajax grins. “We’re with you, brother. We wouldn’t tell you to do anything we didn’t think you could handle.”
“I would never hurt her.”
“Exactly. So don’t let her starve.”
A primal, pulsing drive has me growling at him like he’s threatened me. Fucker laughs as we both wend back to the residence. The mere idea of her starving has my protective instincts in overdrive.
I know what I need to do, but I don’t know if I trust myself enough to do it.