Chapter 10
“Trust that the men leading New America are doing everything in their power to build a country even better than the one we had before. A strong sense of right and wrong guides every decision we make. Family first. Women and children are our treasures, and we will protect them at any cost.” – Excerpt from a video message from New America President Soren Whitman to the New America population
Marcus
That fucking honey-custard smell. I wanted to bury my face in Briar’s hair as I held her earlier, the scent of ylang-ylang, the tropical flower she puts in her shampoo, making me physically ache for her.
My arms were tired after holding her for two and a half hours, but it was well worth it to be close to her again. It’s been hell having her physically close but miles away emotionally.
Ellison pulled through. I left Briar sleeping on a cot to recharge after the transfusion, and I went to check on things in camp.
As expected, it was a shit show. I got mobbed by people yelling and complaining about sharing our supplies with the Tiders. After what I’d just been through with Ellison and Briar, I didn’t have much patience for it, but I did my best.
It’s the night of our weekly social gathering, and I think people need it more than ever. I tightened up security at our camp perimeter, but I don’t think Pax and Theron will try anything tonight.
Jun strums a soft, haunting song on his ukulele as the sun slips below the horizon, everyone sitting in small, quiet groups. I stare at the flickering flames of the bonfire, the day’s events still fresh in my mind.
If I’m the wizard around here, the curtain was pulled back on me today. My people think I’m invincible, always two steps ahead of Rising Tide. Many of them were shocked to realize I’m just a man, fallible like anyone else.
Thinking I can’t be beaten and I always have the answers makes people feel safe. Today fractured me, though, and I don’t have it in me to pretend everything’s okay.
Nova’s too furious to even look at me. Elison came close to dying.
The Tiders have a mammoth, cutthroat operative working for them who can walk into our camp at any time.
I gave up half our supplies today, so we’ll have to ration, which we’ve never done before.
At least they didn’t get much ammo, because we keep most of it stashed in underground caches hidden around the island.
It’s clear McClain doesn’t have much time left. He’s weak and bony, and I can’t believe he’s not bedridden. If he and Briar can’t create an aromium stabilizer, I don’t know what our next move will be.
The one and only good development for us came a few hours ago, when Niran returned to camp with a report. He said six Tiders took their share of the supplies and left to fend for themselves. I hope it’s the start of a breakdown at Pax’s camp.
I return to the work I was doing, running a whetstone over the blade of my hunting knife to sharpen it. It’s meditative, helping take my mind off the events of the day.
But then I look up and see Briar walking toward the bonfire, and my hands go still.
She’s smiling, her long, dark curls wet from a shower. Amira’s beside her. With the amount of blood she gave Ellison, she should be resting. Has she eaten since the transfusion?
Chance and Wyatt approach the two women, Chance putting his arm around Briar’s shoulders. I will myself to return to sharpening my blade, but I can’t drag my eyes away from them. Chance’s hand is on her back as he says something in her ear that makes her laugh, his hold on her lingering.
I narrow my eyes, daring him to move his fucking hand even an inch lower. I’ll cut that hand off and choke him with it. I lost Briar, but that doesn’t mean he can have her.
All four of them—Briar, Amira, Chance, and Wyatt--turn to look at me at the same time. I glance to the side and find everyone else is staring at me, too.
Fuck. The ground is rumbling. I didn’t even realize it. Wyatt bats Chance’s hand away from Briar’s waist and Chance takes two steps back.
Taking a deep breath, I look at my blade and return to my work.
I don’t give a fuck if everyone in this camp knows I’m the swirling, dark-slate sky over rough, choppy waters.
I could unload a deadly torrent without a moment’s notice.
In fact, I want them to see it. Any man who touches Briar needs to know that might be his last move.
I may not have any right to feel this way, but I do. It’s all I can do to keep my distance from her, because anything I think of saying rings hollow.
When she first came to our camp, I was suspicious of everything she said and did. Concerned she was a spy sent by Virginia. But she was honest, and I’m the one who deserved the suspicion.
Very few people have been on this island long enough to know I was once a commander at Rising Tide. Just me, Ellison, McClain, Pax, and a small handful of other Tiders. I was already at the secure area that became the Dust Walkers’ camp before everyone else came on prison transports.
Briar is getting closer. I know it without even looking in her direction. When I eventually do glance up, my eyes lock onto hers. I want to go pick her up like I did earlier. Carry her back to our room and explain everything.
If she told me it’s not enough, though, the dark, emotional spiral it sent me into could cause me to destroy this entire island without meaning to. That’s why I haven’t pleaded my case to her. I know hearing her say she can’t forgive me would be my undoing.
There’s aromium in my blood now, and I can’t risk my connection to endoliths causing the volcano to explode or the earth to open up and swallow people. I have to keep my distance from her in every way I can.
“Everyone, I have an announcement.” Amira steps onto a log, which only makes her less of a shorty. “Attention, please!”
The murmurs stop, and she smiles.
“I just wanted to say that Savage Spa and Wellness will be open tomorrow, starting at ten a.m. I’ll be doing facials, deep conditioning, and tweezing. Remember, ladies, just because we’re feral island bitches, that doesn’t mean we can’t have two distinct, well-shaped brows.”
The women applaud as she steps down. That damn shampoo she blends is the reason Briar always smells so good. I should cancel everyone’s days off while we regroup from today’s events and tighten security, but I’m not going to.
Without any fun and relaxation, things would deteriorate fast. It’s going to be hard work building our farm and gardens back to the levels they were at; things like Amira’s spa are more important than ever.
Jun ends the song he’s playing and people clap. I take that as my cue to leave, because being this close to Briar won’t lead anywhere good.
After sheathing my knife and stowing it in the canvas bag resting against my hip, I get up and leave for my room, careful not to look back.
Darkness still shrouds camp when the guards let me into the Sub the next morning. I slept a few hours, which was enough. After a shower, I’m ready to get going.
Ellison was moved from a treatment room to a recovery room, and when I crack the door to peek inside, I can barely make out the outline of her sleeping form in the darkness. Nova is hunched over in a chair beside the bed, sleeping, and McClain is asleep on a cot pushed up against the wall.
Satisfied she’s doing okay, I go back out to the Sub entrance. I’m planning to find whoever’s in charge of security for the night shift, but then I see Olin jogging by.
“Hey, man, everything okay?” I ask.
His grin is sheepish. “Yeah. That run back here yesterday humbled me. I thought I’d get in some extra conditioning.”
“Good. Can you give Nova and Stella a message for me when they’re up?”
“Sure.”
“Tell them I’m going to look for the Tiders who left their camp. I won’t be gone more than a few days, and I’ve got my radio.”
“Yeah, I’ll tell them.”
“Thanks.”
“Do you, uh ... want any help?”
I’m realizing Briar was right about Olin. He’s a nice kid, and I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s in love with her. I can’t blame him there.
“Nah, I’m good.”
“Okay. Good luck.”
I put my heavy backpack on and head out of camp, relieved and tense over it at the same time. It’s not a good time for the leader to leave, but I won’t be far enough away that I can’t get back here quickly if they need me.
I have to put some space between me and Briar. Much as I hate to do it, I know it’s necessary. Seeing her every day and not telling her how I really feel is slowly destroying me.
It’s impossible for me to get over her, but I need to find a way to function again. Everyone in camp is relying on me to make the right decisions. I can’t do that when I’m thinking about Briar more than anything else.
Every step I take should make me feel calmer. Steadier. But instead, I sense the slight tremble of the ground many feet beneath. The surface of the ground isn’t physically moving, but just like with my wolves, I sense the movement. It’s deep below the surface, a vibration I can feel deep inside.
Having control of the very ground beneath us is too much. It’s too risky. But I can’t stop it. All I can do is try to dull my emotions and keep them locked away when they try to rise to the surface.
Flavius is near. Just like with the ground, I sense his movement. Feel the pacing of his feet as he gets closer to me.
I’m glad he’s here. He’s the only one I trust myself around right now.