Chapter 13
“I couldn’t check in sooner because I embedded myself as a recruit for the Robo-wives program. I freed eight women and took out two guards. Not my assignment, I know, but don’t expect an apology.” - Decoded message from ILF undercover operative Nightingale to ILF handler Hiro Tanaka
Briar
Poe does not look well.
The rat has blood caked in his fur from throwing himself against the door to his metal wire cage and clawing wildly at it, trying to escape. I hoped he’d settle overnight, but he’s worse today.
“I guess it’s good you’re in there alone,” I say to him, sighing softly. “If there was a female in there, I’d be hosting a rat baby shower.”
The response I get is a hiss, Poe lunging toward me. He’s violent, wild, and aggressive—all signs the new stabilizer failed.
I hate seeing any living thing suffer, but to complete the test, I have to turn Poe’s implant off. We’ve been using the handheld device to switch him on and off frequently because we suspect that switching amplifies the sickness our people—other than me—get from aromium.
“Not what you were hoping for?” Olin asks me from nearby.
“No.”
I push the button and Poe begins convulsing. If anything, the newest compound strain seems to make the rats worse. It’s maddening, and now I’m the highly unqualified leader of this project.
McClain couldn’t get out of bed today. Ellison is back on the job, and she said his body is starting its shutdown process. He won’t return to the lab.
I knew it was coming, but it still hit me like a physical blow.
When Marcus and I found McClain living on his own after scouring the island for him, I saw him as a coward who ran from his mistakes.
But working with him and getting to know him has shown me he’s also something more.
He’s remorseful. If he could fix the events set in motion by his experiments, he would.
Like most people, McClain isn’t all good or all bad. Every time I think about it, my mind wanders to Marcus, who’s been gone for four days now.
Four days of only rudimentary radio check-ins with Nova. He’s surveilling the six Tiders who broke off to fend for themselves, and he’s not doing it alone.
Zara’s with him. That’s what really gutted me. Olin said Marcus set off on his own, but later on the day he left, Zara left a note behind saying she was going with him.
I could claw her eyes out right now. I know she’s making a move on him, and it sickens me. Marcus and I let too much time pass without talking about things, and she’s swooping in like the vulture she is to feast on the remains of what we had.
“So ... is my first job burying the rat?” Olin asks.
He’s my new lab assistant. I didn’t want to be in here alone, and I could use the help. I’m deeply frustrated with our lack of progress, but more determined than ever to step up my efforts.
“We burn them,” I say. “I’ll show you.”
I’m used to the lab’s incinerator, but Olin is intrigued and full of questions. I answer all of them on autopilot, my mind on Marcus and the future of this island.
We have to create a stabilizer. If we can distribute it to the Tiders without them knowing, we’ll be able to reason with at least some of them. I’m weary of watching people here fight each other.
It’s exactly what Whitman wants—to make us think our real enemies are each other. He’s the one we should all be uniting against for what he’s done to us, and to the world we knew.
After incinerating Poe and having a moment of silence for him, I show Olin how to disinfect his enclosure. I’m going to start fresh on a new compound, using more of the flower root than we have been.
“Do you ever think about leaving?” I ask Olin as we work. “Will you just disappear one day?”
He’s an undercover agent for a mainland rebellion group called the Idaho Liberation Front, and he told us he has a communication device hidden on the island that he can use to call for evacuation when he’s ready. His assignment was to gather intelligence on the experiments here.
“Not anytime soon,” he says. “I still have work to do here.”
“What kind of work?”
He pauses. “The ILF wants to get Whitman out of power and restore the states to a democracy. But it’s equally important to rescue people who are being held against their will by the regime.”
I sigh heavily. “Do you ever think about just bouncing?”
That gets me a chuckle. “I did at Rising Tide. But I thought about my parents and sisters every time and stayed. They all died from the virus.”
I turn to focus my full attention on him. “I’m so sorry. How old were you?”
“Fourteen.”
I was nineteen when the virus hit; I can’t imagine still being a kid and losing your entire family.
“How did you survive?”
His lips quirk in a sad smile. “One of my dad’s best friends was a doomsday prepper. He took me in. He’s an ILF leader.”
“Wow. So you lost your family and then had to leave all the people you knew back home to come here. That had to be hard.”
“Yeah. I believe in the cause, though. We all have to be willing to do whatever it takes, you know?”
I go over and hug him. He stiffens at first, but then relaxes.
“Your family would be proud of you,” I say. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks.” His voice is thick with emotion.
I pull back and look up at his lean, freckled face. “Are you ready to learn more than you ever wanted to know about synthesizing chemical compounds?”
He grins. “Science class was always my favorite.”
I smile back at him, glad he volunteered for this job. “Let’s do it.”
Several hours later, Olin and I are walking from the Hub, where we took a lunch break, back to the lab to continue our work. A few people are clustered beneath a tree, and one of them locks his dark gaze onto me.
Marcus is back, and Zara’s beside him. An emotional switch inside me is flipped, waking up my connection with plants. Warm awareness courses through me, the presence solid and reassuring.
I exhale slowly. I don’t need a vine swooping in to strangle Zara, so I need to relax—which isn’t easy when Marcus stalks over to me, his eyes roving up and down my body.
I’m wearing a formfitting tank top, canvas pants, and my standard work boots, and I don’t know what he finds so interesting about that.
“I didn’t ask her to come,” he says, his tone clipped and commanding. “She just showed up. Don’t look at me like I did something wrong, because I never laid a hand on her.”
I guess we’re doing this right out in the open, with people watching and listening. If he thinks I’m going to bow my head and apologize, he’s never been more wrong.
“Don’t assume you know what I’m thinking,” I fire back, even though he’s right.
“I know you. You’re jealous, and there’s nothing to be jealous of.”
He’s a sweaty mess, his light-gray T-shirt soaked and his hairline wet.
Add several days of dark scruff on his face, and it’s all I can do not to admit how right he is.
I miss him so much. He’s two feet away, but it’s still too much.
I miss the Marcus who pulled off his T-shirt the moment we walked into our room every night.
Who always kissed me good night and asked for my opinions on big decisions.
“Why did you leave?” The question bursts out of me, raw and vulnerable. “We needed you here. You’re the leader, you can’t just take off for several days.”
His eyes soften slightly. “I was doing surveillance.”
“You could have sent Niran.”
“I didn’t want to.”
Olin, still beside me, clears his throat. “Hey Briar, maybe we—”
“Stay out of this, Olin.” Marcus glowers at him, sending Olin retreating.
I step closer to Marcus, tipping my chin up to hold his gaze. “Don’t bully him. He’s got nothing to do with this.”
The earth rumbles to life beneath our feet, a storm brewing in Marcus’s amber-flecked eyes. “I’m not bullying anyone. If you needed me, you could have radioed or come to get me.”
“How were any of us supposed to know you weren’t on a romantic getaway?”
I’m not proud of how bitter and petty I’m being. My plant connection is humming through my veins, because there’s no way I can keep my cool right now.
He inches closer, the ground shaking harder now. “Everyone here knows I’d cut my own goddamn heart out for you.”
The deep, husky declaration makes the breath still in my chest. This is the Marcus I’ve been aching to have back.
“Then why won’t you talk to me?”
The words are barely audible because it’s so hard for me to get them out. I’ve never been stripped so bare, and I don’t even care anymore who’s watching. I’ve needed this conversation for almost a month.
“What could I say? I’ve done unforgivable things.” His intensity has vanished, replaced by something that makes me want to throw myself into his arms.
“You could try. You could make me feel like we’re worth fighting for.”
His lips part with shock. “I’d do anything that would make you look at me like you used to. But the betrayal’s written all over your face, even right now.”
“Marcus, it’s hurt.” My voice breaks. “It’s—”
I lose my footing, stumbling as the ground beneath my feet cracks apart.
Marcus lunges at me, pulling and then throwing me away from the growing fracture near our feet.
People are yelling, but I just hear background noise as he waves his arms in the air, trying to get his balance while standing right on the edge of the jagged, two-foot-wide slash that runs the length of our camp as far as my eyes can see.
“Marcus!” My heart races into overdrive and I go to him, taking his arm to jerk him toward me.
The ground stills, both of us breathing hard. His eyes swirl with alarm and sorrow when they find mine. I reach up to cup his cheek.
“Breathe,” I say softly. “I’m okay. We’re okay.”
The crack has stopped widening, but the damage is done. A fall into the deep split dividing our camp would kill someone. I creep closer and see endless darkness inside the rift.
Marcus turns to look around, Nova approaching us with a stern expression.
“I fucking did that,” he mutters, sounding stunned.
I go back to him and take his hand, holding it firmly.
“You guys okay?” Nova asks.
“Yeah, what about everyone else?” Marcus calls.
“I don’t know. No one around me was hurt, but we need to see how big the crack is.”
“It’s my fault.”
Nova shrugs a shoulder. “Maybe. Could’ve been an earthquake.”
“It wasn’t.” He releases my hand, scrubbing his palm over his face. “Fuck. I could’ve killed someone. I might have, we don’t know yet. Someone could still fall in and die.”
“I’ll put out a shelter-in-place order,” Nova says. “We’ll assess damages and make sure no one can fall in.”
He lowers his brows, looking skeptical. “It looks like it spans the whole fucking camp, Nova! How can we keep people from falling in?”
“Marcus.” I move to stand in front of him, putting a palm on his chest. “You have to stay calm.”
He nods, sighing heavily. “Okay. You’re right.”
“Go straight to your room and stay there until I come get you,” Nova says to him before looking at me. “And you go with him.”
“Me?”
“You. Neither one of you is coming out until you’ve worked out your shit. Until then, I’m the acting camp leader.”
For a couple of seconds, neither of us responds. Then I nod numbly.
“You’re right.”
Marcus looks pained, his fingers threaded together on top of his head. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You didn’t mean to do it,” Nova says. “Now go, both of you.”
I make my feet move, Marcus beside me. I can’t look at him. Not yet.
This isn’t just between me and him anymore. Through his endolithic connection, he could destroy the entire island with a single bad mood.
Strong emotions seem to set off his power, so we have to talk things out calmly.
Unfortunately, the combination of me and Marcus has always been anything but calm.