6. Caspyn
Chapter 6
“Off’ by the duct! Waide Way!” The voice rattled through the wooden sides of the wagon as the horses whinnied and pulled to a stop, some of the men pulling from the conversation that over the last few days had drifted to the state of fish to grab their things.
I paused, watching who left before I too, stood, grabbing my bag and making sure my cloak and hood was still placed around my body enough that neither my eyes nor my knives were visible in the bright sunlight.
“Good un, Jack!” Kint, the man who had been talking about me, or rather that fable of me, said, lifting his hand.
I turned, lifting my hand in farewell. Kint gave me half a grin as he sat back against the wagon, but the man next to him leaned forward, still staring with wide mossy eyes. The energy that was thrumming through my bones spread as those eyes dug into me as though he was the one still debating what to do with me. I hadn’t eliminated the possibility of killing him. Now, however, was not the place, nor the time. I marked his face, memorizing every detail and gave him a nod before jumping off that wagon as it started moving.
There was something about that man that was pricking at all of the alarms that I had learned over the years not to ignore; the pull of energy, the zing of warning. If I hadn’t honed that skill I would think him a Fae, but nothing else about him was Fae.
He didn’t smell like a Fae, his mud-colored hair was scraggly, his face aged and worn. Not a Fae, but something…
Not the sharp tang of a Requisite or the gentle lull of a Catalyst. It was more something that perhaps was not as dreadful. If there were such a thing as a good Fae, perhaps. Except there was no such thing.
All Fae were monsters.
Hoisting the bag further up my shoulder, the heavy head of the beast I had killed slapped against my back as I turned. The wagon was off in the distance now, leaving myself and the four other Wave Walkers who had exited to make our way to our destination.
Each of the Qits were linked to small land villages with the same name, the towns tended to be bustling ports that took the wares from the Qits and transported them Goddess knew where. The large road the wagon had dropped us by forked up toward Waide, the small port town that was more taverns than shops. The smaller foot trail that broke off from the rocky road wound its way down to the water, and to the ferry that would take you to Waide on the Water. That was where everyone was heading, and where I followed. The others were further up the road as they kicked up dust and laughed about who knew what. Probably fish or women. It was always one of the two.
They were carefree, happy to move from Qit to Qit. Oblivious of what this world would become with the roads flooded with black-clad Fae soldiers; when the flags of white snakes and prison wagons filled with the dead and dying would line every road.
I would never let myself forget, because forgetting would take me from my goal.
So, I walked, the sharp salt breeze from the ocean tugging at my cloak as I listening to the bits and pieces of the conversation that floated back to me. They laughed endlessly about fish, and women, and something about the family in the house of Spryv.
Fish and women I expected, but the royals in Spryv I did not. I tried to pick up what I could, but was too focused on the feel of that man, like a Fae, but not. The prickles still ran over my skin in the ghost of a warning as I walked onto the shore by Waide, the ferry with the other Walkers still shored.
“Take a lift!” One of the men shouted, having clearly asked the ferryman to wait for me. I gave him a nod and a grunt in thanks, the old wooden ferry rocking under my feet as I boarded.
“A coppa” the tow man said, his old weathered hand outstretched. Old man Tayln had run this ferry ever since I was a boy, and he was one of the few that would recognize me even with my hood up. Thankfully, the people of Waide knew me for the child I was, not the killer I had become. Tayln nodded and pocketed the gold coin I pressed into his hand, the single mark more than triple his usual price and payment for all the other times he wouldn’t let me pay.
“Good fishin’ to ya,” Tayln, mumbled, giving me a look that said he knew what I was doing as he lifted the salt covered anchor rope and began the long laborious pull over the breaking waves to the open water where the Qit floated.
“Do you think the’r gonna marry tha’ man off, then?” One of the other Wave Walkers said, clearly going back to whatever conversation that they had been having before.
“Dunno. I jus’ saw tha’ line o’ wagons. Wha’evr they doin’ thar be a lot of em.”
“If it doze happen, maybe we will see that lit’le girl, so sick.”
“Didn’t tha say she be dead soon?”
“Yeah, poor li’le Princess.”
My head shot up, I had only been partially listening until then, but hearing that brought me right back to attention.
“What did they say about the princess?” I asked in a rush, forgetting to put on the accent that allowed me to travel with the walkers. The ferryman coughed and I added, “she still be livin’ ain’t she be?”
The three men exchanged a look and I dropped my head down, making sure my hood was still over one eye. It wasn’t.
Shit.
“Light be bright on dem waves today,” Tayln said, lifting his hand to block the sun that was partially obscured by clouds. “All da blue be brigh’.’”
I would owe him more than a gold coin if that worked, which it seemed to. The other three nodded and went back to leaning against the rail as the drenched boat rocked laboriously on the break, salt spray flying everywhere.
It would be too easy to kill them all, but that would also mean ending the old man, which I really didn’t want to do.
“Ya,” said one of the men, looking at his companion again. “I hear’ abou’ it when I be up near da Turin, in Callay Bay. She be dyin’ not long left dey say.”
The world could have stopped.
I had arrived in this time on the day Princess Elara was born. Years later it was announced that her Catalyst had died, which had confused me as I had heard so much of her odd Catalyst in the stories Da had told. Ever since then rumors, announcements, and updates from the palace had swirled through Okivo about the health of the little girl. They all said she was sick or dying. Neither should have been possible given the histories that I had known of Elara had said she was powerful, one of the most powerful. I had heard so many stories of the princess and her Catalyst and how they had battled Queen Dalyah at the start of the Red Wave. Sick and magicless did not fit that.
It was the only thing about the world I knew that didn’t fit. It had never been enough for me to be concerned about, rumors were rarely true after all. But these had lingered for nearly twenty years, and now to hear she was on death's door when nothing else about her fight with the Queen had presented… nothing about her impossible magic, or her Catalyst. She had seen eighteen seasons now. The time for her stand was close, too close.
“‘Haps that be why de be doin’ the weddin’,” another of the men said, their conversation returning back to the caravan of wagons they had seen. At that, everything they had been talking about clicked together.
The prince was getting married. That I knew occurred. If the stories were true it would only be months before Queen Dalyah would rise to her power and Elara would challenge her mother. Elara who was apparently on death's door.
I was missing something.
A dying, magicless Princess could not take on a powerful Queen. Who knew what I was missing as those stories had all been forbidden, they had been told in hushed whispers around fireplaces. Who knew what had been changed.
But the wedding, the timeline of when Dalyah took power, that was written in history books, or it would be. That was taught by the black guard. That I knew was true. Which meant one thing.
Months.
I only had months to reach Dalyah and end all of this before it started.
Technically, I had all the time in the world, but even with draining the life out of people and things to gain more I would only be prolonging the inevitable. I was ready. I needed to reach the Runturin. I needed to find my way into the Runturin and to the princess and work with her to end the queen.
I needed to save my sister and for all of this to be done.
I was tempted to leave now, but I couldn’t just enter the Runturin. I had tried years ago only to find a labyrinth of dim corridors full of guards and doors that led to nothing. Simply attempting to find either the queen or the princess could exhaust the power I would need to face the queen. I needed to find another way in, and quickly.
Luckily, all of this Fae hunting had been for a purpose.
“Waide o’ da water,” Tayln announced, the other walkers already making their way off the ferry and onto the bobbing boardwalks of the floating village.
I grabbed the heavy bag that was, in fact, beginning to smell, but thankfully wasn’t leaking any of that foul blood, and stepped after them, only to have a gnarled hand press against my chest.
“Stories getting ‘round, Caspyn,” Tayln said, giving me a look before he coiled the rope to anchor the ferry as the other boat, manned by his son, made its long way back. “You best be careful.”
“I am careful, Tayln,” I mumbled, knowing exactly what he was talking about.
“Are ya?” He leaned in close, his eyes narrowed to slits as he continued to coil the rope. “Last charge I took across the waves was talkin’ about a man with two blue eyes, different shades like, killing dem Fae. And my boy heard tale of how you could hire a man with eyes like glass and rain to off any man you don’ be liking.”
I attempted to stop the twist of fear that wound its way up my spine, to stop my back from stiffening. I failed at both.
“I don’t know–”
“People in Waide, they know you, Caspyn. They know, but they talk. Maybe too much, now,” he cut off what would have been a poor attempt to wave him off and gave me another look and my stomach dropped, my hand suddenly itching for my blade.
“How much?” Another look.
“Too much. We know you, Caspyn, an’ we know Jayse. But we don’ want that kind in our home. Be careful or you’ll be seein’ the downside of the Qit.”
“I am careful,” I repeated, although that fear from before was now winding angrily through my gut.
His message was clear. Stop whatever I was wrapped up in, or the drowning that was usual punishment for crimes on the Qits would be my reward. But not only mine, Jayse’s. It was for her that the fear was building.
Fear would get me killed. Fear was weak. But Waide was my home, it was where Lily would be born. It was where my parents would find each other. It was the only place I had left that wasn’t tainted by the world that was coming.
“I am careful,” I said it again, this time the words were more of a growl, as if it would make it true.
“Hmmm, well I suppose we could always be more careful, eh?” he chuckled, leaning against the side of the Qit and tugging a bit of dried seaweed from the pouch on his side to chew.
“Thanks for the tip,” I was still growling, fury and rage now mixing with that fear in a dangerous combination. Everything was getting too close, every world converging.
That fear built, tugging and warning as though I should run. As though everything was about to unravel.
“I’ve been away from home, too long. I need sleep.” I grumbled and made for the exit of the raft, but Tayln stood still, still chewing with that weathered face that saw far too much.
“Why don’ you settle down, Caspyn?” he suggested. “Stop with this nonsense. You have a girl. Make her honest.”
“Always the same with you, old man,” I chuckled. He had suggested many times that Jayse and I settle down. He wasn’t the first to suggest it, either. Everyone always wanted to see us together, possibly because we always had been. That didn’t make it a good match.
I pulled another gold coin from my purse and handed it to him. He looked at it and went back to coiling rope, the wind tugging at his threadbare shirt.
“I’m taking nothing from you, Caspyn. You’re a good man in ‘dere. You done good. Keep doing good.”
I set my jaw and stepped off the ferry, the old man focused on the rope. He was right; in Waide on the Water I was a good man, everywhere else, however…
I looked down at the deep purple stain on my boots, the color soaked in so deep I wasn’t even sure Jayse could get it out. No one could. Just like all the other killings, like all the other times I had been hired to do the same.
My soul was covered with those specks, all of them soaked in so deep there was no scrubbing them away. They were a part of me, and I liked them. From the second I faced that Fae guard in my home they had become part of me, I had changed. I was more than a Fae killer; I was an assassin. I was a dark shadow on the world, a warning of what was to come, a memory of things that I hoped never to be. On my Qit, and to Tayln, I was just Caspyn.
I was a fool to think those parts of me could stay separate forever.
The Wave Walkers had gone down toward the fish yard, the scent of fish flooding from the yard and covering the Qit as it always did. The smell of home.
I inhaled deeply, some of those nerves loosening as I walked straight, toward the center of town. The residents welcomed me, waving and calling me by name. I waved back, even though I was more careful than I usually was to hide my eyes.
They had all known me since I was a child selling trinkets with Jayse and Jack in the square, there was no reason to hide that. Yet Tayln’s words were digging in.
I really did need sleep.
I burst my way into the small shop that Jayse and I ran, ready to hand off the bag for her for cold storage and make my way to bed. Instead, I was stopped in my tracks by an absolute nest of blonde hair and lanky limbs that slammed right into my chest.
Jayse stood there, leaning against the counter like she always did, the assortment of goods that we sold on the wall behind her as she smiled at the child that was now trying to curl herself around me.
“Caspyn!” Amari’s shrill shriek echoed through the tiny store as she squeezed as hard as she could. “I thought you’d never come home!”
“I always come home, Amari.” I wrapped my free arm around her, squeezing her against me. She squeezed back, but did not release, clearly she was not done with the hug yet.
“I was only gone a fortnight, Ri,” I sighed, trying to pry her off as Jayse thankfully came around the counter to relieve me of both head and bag.
“Welcome home,” she beamed, her wide smile wrinkling her eyes and sending the freckles on her nose into a dance. “Good hunting?”
I nodded, still trying to pry Amari off of me, “Yes, it took longer than I expected, and a good four days on a wagon home.”
Her nose wrinkled more as both the smell from the bag and my meaning hit her.
“I’ll prep this then.” She stepped closer before she drifted to the side and into the back room where the hollow in the floor she had made helped to keep the heads cold.
“Alright, Ri, that’s enough. I’m dead on my feet and you are going to knock me to the ground,” I sighed, finally succeeding in prying the child from me and setting her back enough that I could at least get a good look at her.
Her hair was a tangle, her green eyes smiling, her skin covered with the sheen of salt and sun that the children of the Qit always had. Children in the villages were covered in dirt, ours were always covered in salt. Ri was no exception, she spent most of her time in our store, or at the pier with the Wave Walkers.
Amari was not my child, although she was with us often enough that some may have confused it. She lived in a house on the edge of the Qit with her mother. The same house that I would be born in seventy and some odd seasons from now. The same house I had barged into on that first day.
I had made friends with the couple there, thinking at first that they were my great grandparents or such, but they had moved to Turin in search of better work, leaving Amari and her mother to take the house. At first, I had thought Amari was my grandmother, but my great-grandfather had been pivotal in my grandmothers’ life. The stories that my mother had shared with me were full of adventure and grand accomplishments. He had done so much before a traumatic death had pulled my grandmother down a different path, his death fueling her to build her life in Waide. Amari’s father was not present, and he certainly hadn’t died in some accident before we had met, so it couldn’t have been her.
By the time I realized it, Amari had already latched herself on to us. At least she gave Jayse company for the weeks I was gone.
“Fine, but Ma told me to bring you and Jayse for dinner when you got home. Will you come?” She stuck out her lip in a pout. She knew exactly how to get me to bow to her whims, not that it took that much anymore.
“And miss out on your mother’s fabulous sea snail stew? I wouldn’t miss it.” I tapped her nose and grinned, which sent her squealing, smiling, and spinning all at once.
“Yay! I’ll go tell her! See you tonight!” Amari was out the door in a whoosh of wind as the door opened and closed with a grinding creak that all hinges on the Qits had, leaving the shop in a heavy silence.
There was always something about the shop that felt empty without Amari, perhaps it was because she reminded me so much of Lily. She looked nothing like her; but her spirit, her joy, was the same. Even though the world was falling apart, Lily always smiled. Amari faced as much heartache, but she only found joy. It was why I let her stay even after I knew she wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t need a child poking around, after all. I didn’t need any of them. But they kept me focused on what my true mission was. They kept me from being lost in the death that surrounded me.
Amari and Jayse.
And Jack.
Jack, whose picture still hung in the shop, the single red candle we had purchased from the minister in town still lit below it in our hopes that he would find his way to the gardens of the Goddess that waited for him in the afterlife.
“Everything go alright?” Jayse asked, the shop rocking as she emerged from the backroom, head and bag already dealt with.
“Ri went home,” I sighed, pulling my cloak off to hang it on the hook by the door. “And yes, everything went well.”
She was still looking at me with that same worry she always had. That caring concern that I was sure would mean something to someone, that would take someone’s breath away. I didn’t need her concern. I had told her this enough. I pushed the agitation away; I was too tired to lecture her on why I was dangerous and not a good match for her.
“I’m fine,” I whispered, placing my hands on either side of her face, my palms hot against the ocean chill on her skin, her face soft against the worn calluses on my hands. “I promise.”
I kissed her forehead as if sealing the deal, which thankfully calmed her fears.
“I didn’t expect the head,” she nodded toward the back.
“I picked up his scent after I finished with the aristocrat.” I had made it look like an accident, as requested, the man’s body was found face down in a pigsty only minutes after he wandered drunk out of the tavern he frequented.
It always took more of my power to take two through the Ether, but the aristocrat was young and vibrant, he had more than enough life for me to take.
“I can take it to the vendor tomorrow,” I mumbled, kicking off my boots.
Jayse nodded, moving my indigo stained boots and cloak behind the counter as I wandered into the back and collapsed on the bed. She said something from the other side of the partition, but I barely heard. It was all noise against the familiar sway of the waves that splashed and rocked and reminded me I was home, which pulled me to sleep.
“Caspyn,” Jayse’s voice was soft in my ear, the hesitation clear as she nudged against my shoulder. I moved over instinctively; sure she wanted more space on the tiny mattress that we shared.
She didn’t lay down, she sat there, her hand moving over my back.
“Caspyn, you have to wake up, Tilny will be furious if we are late.”
“Tilny?” I mumbled, half asleep. It took far too long for my mind to wake up and everything to click into place. I had, in fact, fallen asleep.
Fuck!
“Dinner.” I was up in a whirlwind, pulling my boots on and grabbing my cloak. I was ready, but Jayse leaned against the door frame, grinning as she pushed her red hair behind her ear.
“Forgetting something?” Her smile flickered as she looked me up and down.
I followed her gaze. Shoes, pants, tunic… it was all in place.
“What?” I looked again, still confused. She walked toward me, her eyes troubled as her hands wound around my waist.
“Jayse,” I mumbled, I was not awake enough for this right then. She continued smiling, her hand still searching before she stepped back, my dagger and sheath in her hands.
“Oh.”
“Let’s leave the assassin at home, shall we?” She dropped the ornate dagger on the bed, the other golden dagger and my small knife that I removed following right behind.
We covered them with the blanket before we left, locking the door and making our way toward Amari’s house.
Something always broke in me the second it came into view, that young boy who watched his entire life fall apart trying to press its way out. With every step, I swore I could hear Lily’s screams, my mind flooded with the black waves swallowing her whole again and again. With each step I did as I always did; I pushed all of that pain and anger down, shoving it into the solemn hole in my soul, locking it in that well of pain and anger that I always unleashed when I needed it most.
But not now.
I forced myself to walk normally even as Jayse wove her arm through mine, pressing herself against me.
“Do we need to go home? I can go make excuses,” she was genuine, sensing the change, even if she had no idea why.
Jayse had always been there, but I had never really let her in. Even if part of me loved her, it was also a part that would protect her, and that meant never telling her what I could do, or what I really did, or where I came from.
It meant never letting her get too close.
I needed to keep her safe, to protect her from what was coming, and keeping distance was the only way I knew how.
I shook my head, after weeks on the road being someone else, right now I needed to be me. I needed to be there.
An hour later, any trepidation I had was gone, the sounds of Lily’s screams were replaced with Ri’s laughter, with my pain mixed with joy as we played another round of Dilts, the dice game that was made for the Qits, where the floors always moved and everything swayed.
“Twelve!” Ri shouted, watching her dice roll over the floor before they rolled back to a seven. “Seven! She amended with a giggle, jumping up and running around the group the required times before I jumped up, ready to steal her seat before she could reach it.
I hit the chair first, Amari throwing herself over my lap as she tried to stop me. Instead, she rolled off my lap with a thump that sent everyone laughing, the house rocking, and the front guard of a shelf clattering to the floor, along with the few books that were stored behind it.
“Oh dear,” Tilny chuckled with that big-bellied laugh of hers. “I’ve been meaning to fix that. Guess I have no choice, now.”
She was still laughing as I stood, already collecting books and rod from the floor.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.”
Tilny made noise about how I shouldn't worry, not that she was really trying to be heard. I had already slid the securing rod back into place, using a tiny spark of my fíra magic to melt what was left of the screw and hold it into place. They were all still laughing and joking so loud that I was sure they didn’t notice.
“Wish he was this handy at home,” Jayse laughed as I placed the books and trinkets back on the shelf, the repaired rod keeping them in place as the Qit continued to sway.
“Eh, well, he is always on the road buying for the shop though, he helps in other ways,” Tilny sighed as I picked up the last book off the floor and froze. “Same as mine. He’s always gone, working for a big man in Turin. He comes our way at times, though.”
More ice flooded the usual heat in my veins at what she said. Amari’s father, he existed. This was the first that I had heard them talk about him. The new knowledge swirled through my mind as I looked at the open page of the book in my palm.
The blue leather cover was new and fresh, the pages inside written in no more than a dozen times. But it didn’t matter, I recognized the book at once.
Every family had a Book Of The Goddess in their homes, the leather book was blessed at the Temple of the Sister after a wedding or pilgrimage. There, it would be placed on the altar and in the first light of a new turn the priestess would pray over it and give it connection to the Goddess and allow families to record their histories, their news, and their sorrows and send the words to The Goddess through its pages without pilgrimage.
This one, this one was the one that had been on this exact shelf in my home before the soldiers had come. These names were the exact names.
I turned, staring at the mother and daughter that were rolling dice and laughing with Jayse, and realizing who Amari was.
Kryamri.
I had been right; she was my grandmother.
I turned, the quick motion sending the house rocking a bit. Jayse and Amari didn’t seem to notice, they were too busy throwing and chasing after the dice as they rolled underneath the small cook stove that was tucked into the corner. Tilny however looked up, her eyes narrowing as she caught sight of the expression on my face.
I could only imagine how shocked I looked. I tried to rearrange my features, schooling them into something neutral, but the hard mask that usually accompanied death slid into place first.
“Everything alright over there, Caspyn?” Tilny asked, the shake in her voice unmistakable. I shook my head, chasing away the scowl before looking at her. Even Jayse was watching now, the dice abandoned for Amari’s slender hands.She reached underneath the stone, her tongue caught between her lips as she focused.
I had been able to sense magic since the day I washed up alongside the Qit. It was mostly Fae, but those with Requisite and Catalyst magic were just as easy to track if I focused. Lily had been a Requisite, and I had thought myself a Catalyst, which should mean that I should feel something from either Ri or Tilny, some power that had been passed down. I wasn’t sure how magic presented itself, I had never been around other Requisites or Catalysts to ask. Just like the color of your eyes, it had to come from somewhere. Yet I felt nothing from them, just as I was sure I would feel nothing from my parents.
Magic sprung from nothing.
“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” I finally answered her, waving off the concern on both their faces as I sat down. I just realized that Ri’s full name is the same as my mother’s.”
Jayse practically rushed to sit beside me at that, I never talked about my past with her. Even Tilny sat up straighter.
“Is it now?” Tilny narrowed her eyes, almost as though she didn’t believe me, before sitting back in her chair. “Not a common name, Kryamri. Did your mother tell you what it means?”
I shook my head, “Names are just names.”
“Not all,” Tilny’s eyes narrowed again, her features sharp as Ri came bounding back over the circle of chairs, the slightly soot covered dice balanced in her palm victoriously.
“Got ‘em!” Ri bounced into the middle of the circle, still holding the dice aloft. “Your turn Caspyn.”
She turned to me, her tiny face beaming as she held the dice out to me, a smudge of dirt and soot on her upturned nose. Right then, she looked more like Lily than she ever had. It was possibly all in my head with what I now knew, but it made my heart restart all the same.
Tilny hadn’t looked away. I could feel her eyes burn into me even as I locked eyes with her daughter.
My grandmother.
My heart gave another start, ice and fire twisting alongside the quickly forming knot in my gut.
“Kryamri,” Tilny’s was firm, the snap echoing along with the waves. The girl stiffened at the word, turning to her mother slowly. “Tell Caspyn what your name means.”
Ri’s usual grin was a shadow as she turned back to me. The dice slipped from her fingers to land against the wooden floor with a thud.
“Fate.”