17. Elara
Chapter 17
“Well, this isn’t quite what I expected when I told you ‘same time, same place’.” The laugh pulled me out of sleep with a jolt, my body flinching wildly as I went into attack mode.
I held up my hands like I was going to hit whoever was there, before slumping back against the wall where I had clearly fallen asleep.
Aeinya only laughed.
“What in the world happened in here, Elara?” Aeinya was still chuckling even as she looked around the room in confusion.
It took me a second to realize what she was seeing, for the hint of smoke mixed with the usual lavender aroma of my room to hit me for everything to come flooding back.
Oh, Goddess save me.
My room was trashed. My dress was in a pile by the window, my bureau destroyed, bedding everywhere from all the thrashing I had done before falling asleep on the floor. I hadn’t been able to sleep because every time I did I was flooded with images of the Boy’s face, so soft and prickly. That was a dream compared to the other things that had kept me awake; the memory of the magic that had flown from my hand. Unable to do anything more than toss and turn, I had attempted to replicate whatever had flown out of my hand to destroy my bureau and got a whole lot of nothing.
I was left only with frustration and confusion as my mind screamed that it was magic, even though common sense knew that it wasn’t.
“I know that dinner last night got crazy, but you weren’t supposed to bring it back here,” she laughed again. I tried my best to keep my expression straight. So, they hadn’t even noticed I wasn’t present.
It stung, part of me knew that it shouldn’t, it was their night to celebrate and bask in each other after all, but it did.
“I wouldn’t know about that, I wasn’t there,” I mumbled, pulling my underpinnings straight as I stood and made my way to the closet. Yellow cotton it was today. I think I had had enough of the fancy dresses for… well, forever.
“What do you mean you weren’t there?” Aeinya stopped her inspection of the charred edges of the splintered wood on my bureau and turned to me. She was clearly horrified, the horror growing as she thought back and realized I wasn’t, in fact, there.
“I mean, my mother stopped me from entering.” She also told me I was worthless and would die, but I figured that was not something I should share with Aeinya. She already knew how much my mother despised me, and I really didn’t want to dampen her week, not with all the wedding preparations that awaited her.
I chuckled and pulled the yellow dress over my head. My mothers ominous ‘Requisites die without Catalysts’ warning seemed inherently more ridiculous after last night. After I had shot white fire from my hand without a Catalyst.
Something which should not be possible, but I had clearly done.
“That woman,” Aeinya sighed, her expression turning to a scowl as she shook her head. “Batian told me she has been worse lately.”
I nodded, “Her hatred has no bounds.”
“Her hatred of you is made of more horse shit than all the shit my horses’ shit.” Aeinya kicked at one of the charred pieces of wood, sending it skittering over the floor. I only blinked at her.
“Did you just call The Queen horse shit?” I blinked again but Aeinya laughed, her tight blonde curls bouncing down her back.
“No. I believe I said my future mother in law is full of shit. So, I suppose. Yes, I did.”
I laughed, slipping into my well-worn leather shoes. Neither my dress nor my shoes were fitting for a princess, and made me look even more of a pauper against Aeinya and her red satin dress and matching slipper shoes.
I didn’t even own shoes that nice.
I pulled the hem of my dress down, as if that would cover the shoes and the holes that were clearly visible. It didn’t, in fact, this dress seemed to have shrunk in the wash, both hem and sleeves were shorter than they were last time I had worn it.
I tugged harder, willing the ends down, but they didn’t budge. I would change, but my only other options were dirty, torn, or frilly dessert dresses I had officially sworn off. This would have to do.
“Well, where should we away first? Breakfast?” She slipped her arm through mine, pressing against me eagerly as she led me into the sitting room where her Catalyst was stationed by the door, next to the partition that housed the Boy. My heart gave a start, that image of him slamming into me again. I pushed it away.
“You know I can’t.” Thankfully that edict had come down years ago and she was aware of it. It was always nicer when I didn’t have to explain.
“I know, and I will fix that. But for now, you and I have an appointment in the kitchen. It’s already planned. I called down for chocolate scones and blueberry cakes this morning. It will be ready for us by the time we get there.” She danced in celebration, jostling me and pulling me closer. “We will have to see if there are leftovers from last night too. I want you to try the duck, it was divine.”
She was practically dancing as she led me toward the door, her Catalyst moving to attention.
“Wait.” I pulled Aeinya back. “Where is the Boy?”
As if on cue, that image of his face pressed its way into my mind for the thousandth time, the texture of his stubble and full lips practically throbbing against my fingertips. My heart was already on overdrive before I could fully inhale. He had locked my door from his side after he left, something that was not unusual. But now…
“He went to his weekly training,” Aeinya’s Catalyst said, careful to keep her eyes downcast. “He said he will be back by nightfall.”
My heart gave another almighty lurch.
“He said?” I was nearly squeaking. “Do you know the–” I flailed my hands around, trying to mimic what I had seen the Boy do with my mother’s Catalyst last night. Aeinya’s Catalyst looked at me like I was crazy, her eyes somehow both wide and narrowed. My hand waving resorted to laughter as the poor Catalyst looked from me to Aeinya before dropping her gaze again.
“Don’t worry, I’m not crazy. It’s a real thing, I promise.” She still didn’t look at me.
“He will return.” Was all she said, her focus now solely on her feet.
Well, at least he wasn’t running away from me after last night. He was required to go to training once a week, and I was supposed to stay in my room while he did, which never happened.
“Well, I for one am glad he’s not here. I know you like the security he brings, but your shadow is creepy.” Aeinya was already pulling me out of the door.
“He is not creepy!” I smacked her arm and changed her gate, suddenly walking like the Boy always did, hand on her imaginary sword as she led with her head.
I don’t think I had noticed how much he walked like that until this very moment. She looked ridiculous.
“Carry, tell her I’m not wrong. I mean, you’ve spent more time with him than I have when we are here. You’ve noticed.” Aeinya turned to her Catalyst, who was clearly trying not to smile.
“He is her guard,” was all she said, although I was fairly sure she wasn’t even trying to hide her grin of agreement.
“Thanks Carry,” Aeinya rolled her eyes before turning back to me. “And don’t get me started on the whole getup.” She gestured to her face, mimicking how the shroud covers all of him. “He’s worse than a shadow, he’s your wraith, Elara. It’s creepy.”
I rolled my eyes, “He has to wear that.”
“But why?” she asked, still sounding disgusted.
I shrugged. I’d often asked him, but it wasn’t like he could answer, and Batian would recite some old law from centuries before I was born. Perhaps I would learn whatever hand language he had been speaking and find out for myself.
There were a lot of things I would like to find out for myself. Starting with his name.
“Well, maybe that’s something else I would change. Unless he is a beast under there, all hideous and deformed.” She shrieked in laughter, changing her walk into a monster.
“He’s not.” The precious bits of his face flooded back into view, but so did that scar, the hideous line that ran down his ear and neck. My stomach clenched, the angry red skin bringing out a whole different set of emotions.
Anger. Fear. A dark need to find out who had done that to him and do it right back.
“Ooooh?” Her monster walk was forgotten as she leaned in and whispered in my ear. “How do you know, Princess? Did you steal a peak?”
“No!” I pushed her away, but she came right back, tugging me against her.
“I bet you did, you’re a sly minx like that.”
“I did not!” Could I sound any more guilty? She gave me a look, she was going to keep pushing. I glared right back, I wasn’t budging.
I won.
“Fair enough,” she sighed, backing down and leading me down the hall. “But we should get him another uniform. Poor boy must be sweating day in and day out.”
That I could agree with.
The cook, Lari, was in fact waiting for us, all of the pastries that Aeinya had ordered laid out on a small table in the corner of the massive kitchen. There were scones, and tiny cakes, but also cold duck and potato cakes from last night. Half way through the meal she even brought over a pile of sandwiches for us to take, and for me to save for later. I peeked in the bag to find even more cakes and scones, things that were forbidden to me. Lari gave me a wink before she waddled away, ordering her staff to continue work on whatever massive meal they were making for that evening.
They would be busy as every royal household from the Realm continued to arrive for the wedding. These would have to last me, but even cold sandwiches were better than daily gruel.
“That’s when she said I was two feet over!” Aeinya shrieked, continuing some story about when she had been a Cedrian, an accolade in training her magic. “I had accidentally sent the river into the neighboring village!” Aeinya laughed and I popped more blueberry cake into my mouth, well aware I was going to be sick later but not caring.
I could listen to Aeinya talk about her adventure with magic and life in Spryv all day. Their training was done differently there, in Turin we focused on fighting and war, there they worked with their magic and helped others. As a vio, Aeinya often found herself moving land and tilling soil.
“So, you flooded a village?” I said through a mouthful of cake, sending crumbs everywhere. Aeinya laughed harder.
“Yes! But don’t worry, they were glad for the extra water and so helpful as I built the new berm. Poor Carry was exhausted though.” She nodded back to her Catalyst, handing her one of the remaining cakes. Carry grinned and took it, the two of them toasting the delicacy like they were mugs of brew before they took a bite.
“Delicious!” They said in tandem before giggling. Someone in the kitchen gasped and Carry shoved the rest of the cake in her mouth before returning to her post, Aeinya rolling her eyes in clear frustration.
Everything was different in Spryv, starting with the fact that Catalysts got to keep, and use, their names.
“Catalysts can get tired?” I quirked an eyebrow. I had never heard that in all my years of spying on the trainings, although it was possible I missed something. Hell, I hadn’t even known about evening gowns until a few days ago.
Aeinya nodded, “Yes, they are a conduit to your power, and it can be exhausting work. That’s why touch is important, if they get tired it gets harder to reach that connection, but touch will always reinstate it.”
I nodded again, that I knew. I had seen it both in Batian when he would spar with the soldiers, and with Father and Uncle Jahn before Aeinya’s arrival. The way my Uncle Jahn was touching Father’s hand was almost like he was healing him.
Healing him from the hours spent away from him, reconnecting their magic. Let. The white light of the Ramal… and the same as what had flown from my hand.
I nearly choked on the blueberry scone as I made the connection, that line of white fire shimmering over my skin as I watched it in my mind’s eye.
“So, technically, I still have magic, I simply have no conduit to access it.” I spoke through my coughing, staring ahead as that line of light shot through my mind again and again.
“Yes,” Aeinya spoke as slowly, looking at her Catalyst before leaning in to me. “But you can’t access it without a Catalyst, Elara. For all I know it will fizzle out and die inside of you without a way out.”
Or, I would die if you believed my Mother. Or, it would find a different way out. I took another bite, if only to stop myself from saying something I would regret.
“Your magic, Elara… it’s…”
“I know, I know,” I mumbled, waving the scone to the side. I had heard it all before, it had been beaten into me, and yet I clearly hadn’t dreamed last night up. “I just wish it wasn’t. Then maybe mother would see me as anything other than sick and useless.” I gave a fake cough there, which sent Aeinya laughing again.
I really didn’t want to care what Queen Dalyah thought of me, but no matter how hard I tried to push it away there would always be that part that wanted to impress her. Wanted to show her exactly what I was.
So, I guess I did care.
“Don’t make me remind you what you are, Elara.” Aeinya pointed her finger, pulling me out of my depressive spiral. “You’re strong and powerful in other ways. You are stronger than most Requisites I know, even without your magic. Don’t let your mother and her foolish expectations define you, don’t let her dampen that bright light inside you. Not that you ever have.” She winked and leaned in again, gesturing for me to mirror the movement until we both leaned over the table, scones and cakes in hand as she whispered conspiratorially.
“You still training to fight?” I doubt even Carry could hear with how low she spoke.
“Yes,” I whispered back, suddenly concerned about where this was going. “But I am not going to fight my mother.” Even if I could control whatever happened last night that would not be a good idea.
“No, no, that would be foolish. But there might be another way to show her what you can do. To show everyone and stop those rumors once and for all.”
Her smile spread, still leaning over the table.
“What way? Short of fighting her I don’t see an option to show her what I can do.” That would be a very bad idea. For all I knew I’d find myself locked in my room again, and now that my mother’s Catalyst knew of my secret exit I would truly be stuck there.
Bad idea.
“Three nights from now there will be a welcome feast once the last family from Syran arrives. We eat, and then–”
“The Pankreatin,” I filled in the blank for her as I sat up, eyes wide, my stomach instantly turning into a nest of tiny knots. “Are you mad?”
I had said that far too loud and Aeinya shushed me, pulling me back down to the table and thoroughly ignoring all of the kitchen staff who, while they had been giving us side glances the whole time we were down there, were openly staring now. Even a boy with sandy hair stopped his sweeping to stare.
“Not mad. But think about it, The Pankreatin would be perfect.”
“Perfect if I wanted to die,” I countered, she rolled her eyes.
“Don’t be dramatic. You won’t die.” I fixed her with a look that made it clear I knew how inaccurate that statement was.
The Pankreatin only happened when all of the families from each of the realms in Okivo came together. It was an all night ordeal where families placed their best fighters, and those most skilled in their magic against each other. Two from each house would fight, a male and a female. Everyone fought and eliminated their opponents until a single winner stood victorious. It was brutal, bloody, and people had died in the past.
Goddess! I would die if I participated in that.
“Again. Are you mad?” I hissed, keeping my voice low that time. “I have no magic,” or at least no magic I could wield and was sure I hadn’t hallucinated, “my fighting skills consist of watching, mimicking, and fighting the Boy with a wooden sword. I would be killed.”
I emphasized each of those last words, my voice growing louder again, which earned me more looks. I glared right back and coughed twice, which thankfully sent the poor kitchen boy hustling the other way before he caught whatever fake illness I had.
“You would be fine. I’d set it up so you would fight the girl from my house, my cousin Addalaide. She’ll go easy on you, I’ll make sure of it. You won’t win,” she waved her hand to the side like it was an afterthought. “But everyone will be able to see you fight. Everyone. No one will believe her lies after that and there will be nothing she can do. It’s perfect.”
I gnawed on my lower lip. It wasn’t perfect, I just didn’t know how to tell her that. First, because my Mother would absolutely find something ‘to do’ against me, or some other way to tell them all how unworthy I was for my title, probably that I was mad, because only someone mad would even be considering it. I was clearly mad, because I was considering it.
Nothing would change unless I did something, and this sounded like something that might actually work. If it didn’t, well, maybe I’d find a way out of the Runturin for good. Explore the world, be a mercenary or a farmer or something.
I didn’t know.
“She won’t be able to ignore you any longer, Elara,” Aeinya whispered, grabbing my hand and entwining my frosting covered fingers with her own. “And if she does, well,” she brushed her hair behind her shoulder and gave me a grin. “I’ll be Queen soon, and then everything will change anyway.”
I looked from Aeinya, to her Catalyst who stood with her head down, to the boy in the kitchen who was still sweeping far enough away so as not to catch anything.
Aeinya was right about one thing. Something did have to change.
I nodded, and Aeinya squealed, launching herself over the table and covering my lap with what was left of my scone.