Chapter Forty-seven
Ciro
I sit at the dining table, my foot tapping against the tiled floor as frustration bubbles under my skin. Hours have passed and she still hasn’t come back. Every minute that ticks by makes my stomach churn.
Where is she?
“She’ll be back soon,” Mrs. Thorne says, smiling at me. Vida has her smile, but not her eyes.
“Let him worry, it’s the least punishment Vida can give him,” my bratty sister says from the living room, making Uncle Luca and Vida’s dad laugh.
“Stop it,” Mrs. Thorne laughs, before turning back to me with a smile. “Don’t pay attention to them.”
“I’ll just go get her myself,” I mutter, standing up before grabbing my jacket and keys.
The sky is gray now and the wind gets stronger by the second as I drive. The drive to the Brown’s house is so short I probably should have walked, and I barely knock before the door swings open, revealing a woman who I assume is Lisa’s mother. Her face is pale and her eyes are swollen from crying, but when she sees me, her expression shifts into something I didn’t expect: relief.
Before I can say a word, she steps forward and wraps her arms around me as her body shakes while she sobs into my chest.
“Thank you,” she chokes out, her grip tightening. “Thank you for bringing my baby back.”
I stand here frozen, unsure of what to do or say. I didn’t think I would be getting hugs from anyone today, especially not from the mother of the girl I let get kidnapped. She had every reason to hate me, but if this was anything to go by, she didn’t.
Slowly, I raise my arms, awkwardly patting her back as she continues to cry. When she finally pulls away, wiping her tears and giggling, I clear my throat.
“I . . . I’m glad she’s safe,” I say stiffly. “I am sorry for letting this happen”
“You’re not as bad as I heard, but all is forgiven. Lisa speaks highly of you,” she says with a smile.
“She’s one brave woman,” I reply, before asking the only question that really brought me here. “I’m here for my wife.”
Her brow furrows, and then, to my surprise, she laughs, a slightly amused sound that catches me off guard.
“She left a while ago,” she says.
“Excuse me?” I arch my brow in confusion.
Her expression softens, and she shakes her head.
“I see why Lisa likes you. If she’s not home, then there’s one place she might’ve gone after an ordeal like this,” she replies with a chuckle.
“Where? How can I get there?”
“She probably went to Adam’s grave,” she says softly.
“Alone?” I ask and she nods.
Adam. Of course. The mere thought of him makes my jaw tighten, but now isn’t the time for this. The rain has started to tap against the windows and the clouds don’t look like it’ll be just a drizzle.
“Where is it?” I ask, my voice sharper than intended.
After giving me brief directions, I thank her.
“You need to hurry,” she adds. “The rain will get worse soon.”
I don’t waste another second. I turn and bolt for the car, the panic growing in my chest becoming unbearable.
My mind races as fast as the car does, and all I can think about is driving faster.
Why? Why go there? Why run to his grave and not to me? What does she think she’ll find there? Peace? Forgiveness?
Fuck! I hate how it makes me feel! Hate how that bastard still has a grip on my wife even after being six freaking feet below.
The rain slashes against the windshield, but I don’t care. I only have one thing in mind, one goal . . . to bring my wife back.
The rain is coming down heavier by the time I reach the cemetery, and I follow the directions I was given until I catch sight of my entire fucking world through the rain covered windshield. My eyes lock on her as she stands motionless at his grave with her arms wrapped around her.
I approach cautiously, the splash from my boots on the wet ground the only sound to be heard apart from the rain. Her back is to me, but I can sense the weight of her hurt from here, and I deserve every bit of her anger for causing her to hurt like this. All of it. And I hate it.
“Vida,” I say softly, my voice barely louder than the rain.
She doesn’t answer. She just stands over the grave, so I take another step closer and closer until I’m standing right behind her.
“Talk to me, little chaos,” I beg.
“Why, Ciro?” she finally says, her question hanging in the air between us.
“I thought I was doing what was best, baby,” I reply.
“Best for who?” She turns, her eyes burning into mine.
“For you,” I say, confused, because who else would it be?
“Why, Ciro? Why on earth was lying to me what was best for me? Huh?” Her eyes burn through me, full of anger.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I assure her. “I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought . . .”
“You thought,” she snaps, cutting me off. “How could you think lying to my face was the best option?”
“Jesus, Vida! I didn’t think it was the best option,” I snap.
Fuck! I’m not supposed to snap at her.
“You had just gotten kidnapped, almost raped, and were on your period. How was I supposed to add that to the mix? I was going to tell you when it was the right time, it just never came,” I continue.
I should stop now, but I don’t. “And don’t you think you’re the last person to be angry at me like this? When you did the exact same thing.”
Fuck!
“Why are you even here?” she mutters, shaking her head at me. My words have struck a nerve, one that makes guilt dance on her face.
“Because you’re here. And I can’t . . .” I take a deep breath. “I can’t stand to not be where you are.”
She laughs dryly and turns back to his grave, her voice so low I can hardly hear it over the rain. “I can’t do this.”
“Do what?” I step closer, my heart pounding in my chest, afraid that she’ll want to leave. Leave me.
“This!” she screams, spinning back to face me. Her chest heaves, tears welling in her eyes. “All of this! I want to forgive you. I know I did the same thing, so why am I so angry? Why does it hurt?”
“Because . . .” I let out a sigh, “I hurt you, and yes you did the same thing, but it doesn’t make your feelings any less valid, baby.”
Letting the words also sink into me, I keep my eyes on her, watching closely for any hint that she might let me come to her.
“And, I can live with your anger, little chaos,” I continue, stepping closer, my voice rough. “But, I can’t live without you.”
“Don’t say that,” she says, her voice cracking as she moves away from me. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
We are going to fix this. She is mine and we are going to fix this shit between us if it’s the last thing I do.
“I don’t care if you hate me, if you never forgive me. I’ll take it all if it means I get to keep you,” I tell her, trying to hold her again, but she pushes my hand away.
“Fuck, Vida!” I shout, my voice echoing through the empty cemetery.
Fuck! I’m snapping again.
“Can’t you see me here? Can’t you see me begging you to love me, to forgive me, to fucking take me?” My voice cracks, but I push through it. “I’m falling apart right in front of you because the mere thought of you being mad at me messes me up!”
“Why?” she asks, her voice breaking under the weight of her emotions. “Why are you loving me like I’m . . .”
“I don’t know!” I cut her off, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. “Hell, I don’t want to know when or how I fell in love with you. All I know is you!”
I step closer, the space between us nearly gone, but she doesn’t step away from me this time. “Loving you, breaking you, mending you, owning you, and fucking serving you. You own me, Vida. And I’m begging you to see it . . . to fucking see me and the mess you’ve made of me.”
The rain blurs my vision, or maybe it’s tears, I can’t tell anymore, but I see the way her lips tremble, and the way her hands shake at her sides. She takes a step toward me, her mouth opening as though she wants to say something, but she stops herself.
I step closer, my voice softer now but nothing short of desperate.
“I’m sorry I ran off like that, left without telling you, and hurt you as much as I did,” she says, her gaze piercing into mine. “You are all I’m beginning to know, Ciro. I do not want to know anything else, aside from you.”
“I am sorry I lied and hid things from you, but I’m begging you, little chaos,” I say, my heart racing so fast I’m afraid it might fail. “Let me worship the very ground you walk on. Let me burn the world for you, even if it includes burning me.”
She stares at me, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. Her lips part, and for a moment, I think she might say something again. But instead, she closes the remaining distance between us, her hands grabbing the front of my shirt, her eyes piercing my soul.
“I can’t live in a world without you,” she finally whispers, her voice barely audible over the pouring rain.
“Then don’t,” I say. With that, I claim her lips in the most violent and desperate way I ever have.
My hands tangle in her wet hair as I pour everything I couldn’t say into the kiss. She responds just as fiercely, her nails digging into my chest, and her body pressing against mine like she can’t get close enough.
The rain continues to fall around us, but I don’t care. Nothing matters except her; her lips, her body, everything. She is my storm, my chaos, my salvation, and I’ll burn the world a thousand times over just to keep her in a world where I exist.
Regardless of how heavy the rain has become, it’s the least I can feel. The only thing my body and mind feel is her; her body, her warmth, her lips swollen from our kisses. She pulls back slightly, her breaths ragged as she stares at me with her eyes filled with raw, burning emotions. Anger, lust, pain, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that it is all for me.
I push her back until her spine meets the cold edge of Adam’s gravestone. She doesn’t flinch or stop me, rather she just stares at me with that wild defiance that always sets my blood ablaze. My hands move with a mind of their own, finding their way to her nipples, feeling the hardness and pain they’re enduring.
“You’re mine,” I growl. “Every part of you, little chaos. Mine.”
She doesn’t answer with words, instead she just hooks her arms around my neck and pulls me closer, her nails scraping against my skin. I welcome the sting they cause. Fuck, I need it. I kiss her again, harder than the first time, claiming her mouth the way I want to claim her body.
Even with the mix of rain and tears, she’s ever so addictive, making me an addict all over again.
My hands grab her skirt and push it up her thighs. Damn! I need her now. I need to feel her wrapped around me to erase every part of her that doesn’t belong to me.
“Ciro,” she whispers, her voice laced with lust and need. I lean back just enough to see her face, and if I didn’t notice how her legs were pressed against each other and how her body is begging me to touch her, I would think she was freezing from the cold. Or maybe she is. Which means I just need to heat her up.
“Say it louder,” I demand, gripping her hips and pressing her against the cold, hard marble of his gravestone. “Scream my name, little chaos. Let even the dead know I’m yours.”
Her breath hitches as her eyes turn dark. She opens her mouth to say something, but I don’t give her a chance to speak. I shove her soaked panties aside, running my fingers through her wet heat. She’s dripping and it has nothing to do with the rain.
My cock throbs, begging painfully in my jeans as I push two fingers inside her, watching her head fall back and her lips part in a silent moan.
“Fuck, you’re so tight baby,” I groan, sliding my fingers in and out of her, faster and harder. Her nails dig into my shoulders and her thighs tremble against my hips.
“Let me please you, baby. Let me show you some of the ways I can worship you,” I whisper into her ear, taking her earlobe into my mouth as I suck on it.
She moans, her hips grinding against my hand, and I can’t take it anymore. I need to be inside her. Now.
As if she can read my mind, her hands begin to unbuckle my belt. My jeans and boxers hit the ground in seconds, and I lift her, pinning her fully against the stone. The marble is cold, but her heat burns even hotter as her body softens and yields in all the right places.
Fuck you, Adam! I think in the most mocking manner as my eyes land on the stone behind Vida, and I position myself at her entrance. Now he can see for himself how I’m having her in ways he only dreamed about and jerked off to. And fuck, her pussy feels just tight enough for my cock.
Yes! Her pussy was meant for my dick, no one else’s, and now this dead fuck knows it too.
The thought fuels me on, awakening a dark primal satisfaction that flows through my veins as I thrust into her in one hard stroke.
“Oh God!” she cries out, her nails raking down my back. I groan, my head falling against her shoulder. She’s perfect, too perfect, and I hate her for it almost as much as I love her.
“You feel that?” I whisper harshly against her ear, thrusting again, deeper this time.
“It’s not God, little chaos, it’s me owning you. Body and soul.”
“I do, I feel it, baby! I feel you, only you. Please, yes,” she cries out, holding onto me as I ram into her dripping pussy.
Her legs wrap tighter around my waist, pulling me closer and deeper, her voice a mix of moans and broken curses as her nails claw into my shoulders and neck. But fuck, does that only make me want to fucking bury children inside her, turning me on even more as I fuck her against his grave. The rain pours harder, soaking us both, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing else matters except this. Except her and me, tangled in our storms. We are destroying and rebuilding each other in every thrust and moan, every pound of my dick into her tight cunt.
“Say my name,” I growl, my pace relentless. “Scream it.”
“Ciro!” she cries, her voice cracking, but loud enough to be heard over the storm. “Ciro please, fuck yes, please.”
Fuck! Her moans are like music, pure, filthy and mine. I lean back enough to watch her, her head thrown back, her lips parted, her body trembling around me.
As I watch her and pound into her, I know for a fact I’m not the one owning her, she’s the one owning me. As I stare at the wet and ruined woman who’s pussy walls wrap around my throbbing cock, I see the only thing worth worshiping and dying for.
“I fucking love you, little chaos,” I say, slamming into her harder. “You have ruined me for lifetimes to come.”
“I love you, please. I love you so much!” she screams again, her voice cracking, and I grin savagely, claiming her mouth with mine as her body tightens around me.
She loves me! Me! Fuck yes! She loves me and now her dead ex knows it too.
“Come for me, baby,” I whisper in her ear, feeling my release building.
“Come inside me, please. I want to feel all of you inside me.” This woman will kill me, and the irony it is that we are in a fucking grave yard!
“Come with me,” I say and without a second thought, she comes undone, her walls clenching around my cock, pulling me over the edge with her.
“Fuck! Fuck!” I groan, spilling into her with a final, brutal thrust.
“That’s it, little chaos, take every drop of me inside you,” I groan as I tremble, pouring every last drop inside of her.
For a moment, the world goes still; no rain, no thunder, no millions of dead people. It is just us, tangled together in a world of pleasure and madness.
When I finally pull back, my forehead resting against hers, I whisper. “You’re mine, Vida. Always.”
Her eyes flutter open as her breathing tries to even out again.
“And you’re mine,” she whispers back.
And in that moment, as fucked up as it was, Vida freaking Ballera became everything that meant something. My very reason to be alive.