Crisis of Infinite Boyfriends (Between the Panels #2)

Chapter 1

CHAPTER

ONE

“ W e’re just two weeks away from NYCC, where we’re supposed to be announcing the first ever Excelsior Comics Pride issue for next year, and you’re telling me our biggest name talent has just fucking pulled out?”

Hank was livid. He got like this, I’m told a lot less now than he used to, but there’s rumours and tall tales all around the office of Harold Wolowitz’s legendarily short temper. But the man is Senior Editor of one of the most popular lines of superhero comics in the whole world, you can expect there must be a bit of pressure.

“He said he just didn’t have the time to commit to it, and felt what we’re doing is important and he’d feel better if someone who could devote more time to it took his spot. Says he’d love to come on next time, perhaps.” Anna Milton was one of the Associate Editors, and fair play to her, despite being half Hank’s size, she didn’t give off a single air that his shouting freaked her out in any way. Me, meanwhile, I’m pretty certain I couldn’t get myself flatter to the wall if I tried.

I’m working under Anna in her office, down a floor in the building, the home of Excelsior Comics, one of the legends of the superhero comic scene since the 1960s. Honestly, it is such a privilege to be here at all, and I couldn’t believe my luck when Anna called me and said, “Jesse, how would you like to intern with us here at the home of excellent comics?”

I remember I screamed directly into the phone and dropped it. Scrabbling on my hands and knees, apologizing before I even put the phone back to my ear, I of course accepted on the spot. Sure, it’s unpaid and at the time I had finals coming up at college, but I knew I’d work it out.

Work it out I sure did too. I got a job at a comic shop in Midtown for a while, and mom and dad help me out with rent and extras when I need it, but I try to keep that to a minimum. It feels wrong asking them for help for me to follow my dreams, though if I ever bring it up to them they always wave it off, tell me I’m being ridiculous and change the subject. But four days a week, sometimes five, I’m here working at Excelsior Comics!

It isn’t always easy, of course. I had to give up the comics shop job pretty quickly, as shift patterns and working here kept interfering with each other. In the end, I wound up getting work somewhere else in the evenings. It definitely means I get a lot less sleep than I was used to, but you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

So here we are, a few years later and I am still just…the intern. One of many, actually. And it’s cool, I love seeing how the sausage is made and all, but what I want to be doing is making comics myself…as in writing them. But this opportunity, to get my foot in the door, to make contacts, it’s the best thing to do right now.

I pull out my phone, and almost pull up the text message. Again. Out of habit now I guess, but I force myself to head to Twitter (no one is ever calling it “X”), and start scrolling through my list of LGBTQ+ creators.

I don’t know why, I’m not even really meant to be here. Editorial meetings aren’t really the domain for interns, even editorial interns, we’re normally handed down day-to-day tasks when needed. Helping out with lettering placements, chasing the odd email. But Hank came storming into the office, declaring an all hands on deck emergency meeting, while I was bringing Anna her afternoon soy milk latte, and I just got kind of swept along. I’ve been standing in the back of the room, feeling like a fly on the wall, trying to be invisible and maybe look for a way out of here without causing a disruption, but that’s not really working. And besides, the drama right now is so interesting.

You could say I have a special interest in LGBTQ+ matters in comics. For almost as long as I’ve been a proud and open geek, I’ve also been a proud and open gay. I came out pretty early, and was lucky enough to have a pretty chill school that didn’t care much, and my parents were more than accepting. But I’ve always been patently aware that I was super lucky to have that, and so I figure one thing I should always do is try and make it easier for other queer kids out there by letting themselves feel seen. So the scripts I work on tend to have a lot of LGBTQ+ representation. Because why the hell not?

“I want names, people, names! Who can we get on short notice? We need someone who’s going to make a bit of a splash for the book, come on!” Hank’s ranting brought me back into the room, and the demand for names, I dunno, it just set something off, triggered a response like Pavlov’s pooches or something, because…

“What about Arran Wilson?” I call out.

The room goes silent, as everyone turns to look at me standing against the back wall, phone in one hand, an empty coffee cup holder in the other.

“Who?” Hank finally said.

“Arran Wilson. He’s a creator from the UK, and he’s gay. Made this book called The surREALS , which was really good, but it got tied up in that mess with ComiXpedia. But last year he did that other book, Moondancers , over at Image that did really well, and his new book at BOOM! Studios is doing solid numbers. He’s very much on the rise, sure, but he’s well liked and respected already. Plus, you know, he’s gay.” I started off strong, but as the glare of Hank Wolowitz continued to bore into me I found myself scratching the edge of the coffee cup holder with my thumbnail out of nerves and biting my lip.

“I know who Arran Wilson is,” Hank drawled out, eyes never leaving me. “I meant who, the fuck, are you ?”

Anna stood up, raising a hand at me to signal me to stop talking, as she turned a stern look at her boss. “That’s Jesse Abelman. He’s one of the editorial interns, and has been for, like, three and a half years now, Hank. You’ve met him at least a dozen times. The kid doesn’t get paid enough for you to be scaring the shit out of him, so maybe take a breath and try that again?”

“I mean, I don’t get paid at all…” I wish I was in control of my mouth better sometimes, really I do. Anna flashes me a quick glance that screams ‘ Really? ’ before turning back on Hank. Honestly, that she can stand up to this man who’s been doing this gig this long, is twice her size and age, and not get terminated on the spot has always amazed me. Anna is Mother, for real.

Hank sighed, sagged his shoulders and slumped into a chair. He scrubbed his hand over his face, and then looked over to me again, a bit softer this time. “Sorry, kid. Come over here.”

Tentatively, I pushed off from the wall and walked into the thick of it, everyone staring at me. Anna put her hand on my shoulder as I came next to her, and took the coffee cup holder from me. “H-Hi, sir. I’m Jesse, like Anna said. And I just thought…”

“I know, I know, Arran Wilson. It’s a good call, kid. Jesse. Seriously. But does anyone here have contact details for the guy? Anyone ever reached out to him before?”

The room all looked around at each other, shaking their heads and mumbling in the negative.

“I follow him on Twitter. And, well, we’ve spoken before, via DM actually. Just the usual ‘I love your work’ stuff, like, but he’s responded, and I’ve talked to him a bit about my own comics work too, like. We have a bit of a back and forth and he’s given me advice, so…”

Hank raised an eyebrow at that, leaning back into his chair. “Your own comics? You’re an artist?”

“A writer, actually,” I corrected. “…sir!”

“At ease, Jesse, this is a comics publisher, not the damned military. The name’s Hank, use it.”

“Yes, sir. Hank. Sir.”

To my amazement, Hank laughed and settled into a lopsided grin, staring up at me.

“Well, with those details that’s great, but that still leaves us with it being incredibly short notice and whether we can even arrange a meeting with him. I don’t want a repeat of this same situation again, I’d like to have him sign a contract and make a commitment before we go off to NYCC half-cocked.”

“He’s coming here, actually.” I jumped in again, and oh my god, why can I not stop?

“Come again,” Hank said, looking at me with curiosity.

Anna turned to me and leaned her head forward, pushing me to go on. “Well, he posted on his socials recently that he’s actually coming to New York Comic Con. Says he has some announcements to make at the show, and he’s all excited for his first time at NYCC and America as a whole. So, well, he’ll be here.”

Hank leaned back in his chair, rubbing his chin in thought.

“And well, he’s actually coming early. Like I said, we talk now and again online, and I congratulated him on the trip and all, and he told me he’s actually coming over a week early so he can do some of the more touristy stuff while he has the chance.

“I half-jokingly said I could show him around, and we said we might get a drink while he’s in town. But maybe we could bring him in and set something up?”

Hank looked up at me, before slowly putting his hands on the arms of the chair and pushing himself back up. When he stood, I was reminded that he was a good half foot taller than me, which is impressive given how tall and lanky I am. A slightly imposing figure making Anna’s standing up to him all the more impressive. He’s broad and thick-set, as if he used to play sports in college, but things have gotten a little softer with age. I mean, not out of shape exactly, I guess, and oh god, why am I even thinking of my boss like that?

“Okay,” Hank declares, eyes never leaving me, and snapping me out of the gross mental non sequitur I had fallen down. “Arrange it.”

“Jesse, can you get me Arran’s email—” Anna starts, as I turn to her.

“No, no, no. Jesse, it’s your suggestion. It’s your play.” Anna and I both turn and stare at the man wearing shades of confusion.

“It’s a little above his pay grade isn’t it, Hank?”

“Again, I don’t actu—” Anna raises her finger in my face to silence me again.

“Kid wants to make comics. He can’t just be making copies and going on coffee runs forever.” He turns to me, “Now, don’t take this to mean I’m hiring you on as an editorial assistant. Not even I have that kind of say. Consider this extracurricular work. But pull this off, and it’s going to look very good for you, Jesse. Very good indeed.

“Now everyone out! Come on, we got comics to make, people!” And with that he sends the whole department rushing for the small door out of the room again. “Oh, and Jesse…”

I turn at the door as he calls after me. “Yes, s—Hank?”

Sitting back down, he fixes me with a stern look again. “Time is running out. This is a major fuck up, and I don’t like fuck ups. So I need this to work before it’s too late. Understand?”

“Y-yes, Hank. I understand.”

He smiles and waves me out. “Good boy. Go make daddy proud, eh?”

And here comes that mental image again. “Yes, sir! I will, sir! Hank!”