Chapter 32
CHAPTER
THIRTY-TWO
WORLDS COLLIDE…
T he con moves at lightning pace, and we’re struggling to keep up with demand. By about halfway through the day, we sell out of two of our comics, the ones me and Cal wrote separately. Thank god Cal had the forethought to print more of Flowers for the Dead , as it’s easily our most popular book. But even stock of that dwindles by 4pm, with hours left to go and a whole other day to think of.
“Don’t worry, I have another box of them in my apartment and Manny is crashing with me, so we can bring it in tomorrow morning,” Cal reassures me.
At about an hour before the end of the show, I check the message from Anna again, and then find the email with a QR code she mentioned. I realize this is the perfect opportunity, and excuse myself from the table.
“Hey, I got a work thing I forgot about, but I really need to get it done. I’m going to head up to the Press lounge so I can sort it out on my laptop in peace, okay?”
Cal smiles and nods at me, oblivious. “Sure, man. We’ll catch up later, maybe?”
“Definitely. I’ll see you soon,” and I say bye to Manny and head off.
As time runs out on the Saturday at the show, the crowds start thinning out, some people probably trying to leave now to avoid the rush at the end. It makes it easier to move around, and before I know it, I’m on the top level and walking into the Press room. The tables are mostly empty now, most opportunities for interviews having wrapped for the day, with only a few website and blog writers with press passes left charging their gear and making any last minute posts.
I make myself a coffee and find a relatively quiet table and set up my laptop.
I open up my email app, and save the QR code Anna sent to me. I then move into the list I’ve been curating, now filled with: Professor X. Lex Luthor. Deadpool. Prodigy. Beast Boy. Multiple Man. Patriot. Spider-Man. Iceman . And Superboy .
I look at the codenames, thinking about what each represents to me. Each a pathway I could choose, guys who could be part of my future, or who hold my future in their hands. Some are fun. Some excite me physically. Some inspire me, and ignite my creativity. Some soothe me, or make me laugh, or challenge me.
But only one of them does all of these things and more, and will always stand by my side. Or at least, I hope he will.
I open a new email:
Hey
I wanted to invite you to the Excelsior Party tonight. I think we need to talk, and I want you to be there for a big part of my life. The QR code attached will get you in. Meet me at O’Malley’s (address below) at 10pm.
I can’t wait to see you.
“Jesse! What are you still doing here!”
I jump at the voice behind me, swinging my torso around so hard I almost fall clear off the chair.
Standing over me is Anna, looking down at me with squinted eyes.
“Anna? You scared me,” I gasp.
“Sorry, but you really should be getting on out of here. They just called the end of the day, and if you want to get freshened up before the party tonight, you best get home now.”
“I know, I know, I just had an email I wanted to send,” I protest. “Um, is Hank going to be there?”
“Is Hank going to be at the Excelsior Party?” Anna’s eyebrows creep right up into her hairline, completely amazed at my ridiculous question. Obviously he’s going to be there. “Is everything alright? Did he do anything?—”
“No, it’s all good. I just…he’s not said anything about me?”
“Why? Why would he have? Jesse, what are you not telling me?”
“Nothing, nothing,” I grab my laptop and draw it closer to me, hunching my shoulders in an attempt to cover the screen from Anna’s eyes. I hit the email address line and send and then slam the laptop closed. “You’re right, I really should go,” I sniff my pits for effect. “Peeee-ew, yup, definitely need a shower! Gotta love that convention stank! Right, see ya there!”
I hustle out of the Press room and the whole convention center and out into the street before I finally stop.
As I catch my breath, I realize what I’ve done: I’ve sent the message. I got the ball rolling. My future is about to begin.
9:30pm, and I’m at O’Malley’s. The place is bouncing already, filled with a who’s who of comic writers and artists. Most of whom are working on or have worked on books for Excelsior Comics, but there’s also some creators who still haven’t done anything with us yet.
I drink my vodka and cranberry slowly, not wanting to get too drunk before he arrives, but also needing to steady my nerves. I’m practically bouncing out of my skin, no doubt down to the three coffees and two energy drinks I downed to try and keep my mind active for tonight.
Hank is, of course, here, but aside from a few glances my way, he seems to be ignoring me. Nonetheless, I’m giving him a wide berth, not wanting to rock the boat tonight of all nights. Each time I see him he has a full drink in his hand, and I can’t tell if he’s barely drinking or drinking copiously. But then again, it is a party.
I stop by a mirror on the wall to check myself out. Aside from a smattering of sweat on my forehead, I think I look okay. I freshened up and threw on my nicest shirt, in Fall colors of orange and brown, my sleeves rolled up to my elbows. I’ve decided to play casual and unbutton the top two buttons. I’m glad for the free room to breathe.
“You okay, kid? You look like you’re about to take the stand in court!” Arran slaps his hand on my shoulder, his other hand holding a beer. Of course he’s here.
“I’m okay, just trying to relax, you know,” I smile, inclining my head.
“So you should, mate. It’s a party and you’ve done amazingly lately. Go mingle and let your hair down,” Arran gives me a nod and then heads off to take his own advice. “Oh, and whatever you wanted to talk about, just find me later, alright?”
What?
Whatever, I have to focus. I walk away from the mirror and figure I’ll find Anna and kill some time with her while I wait for?—
“Julio?”
“Hey, man! So good to see you!” Julio walks towards me, wearing baggy pants, and a tank top, his thick arms on show. His backwards baseball cap covers his hair, and he wraps me up in his arms in greeting.
“You’re here?” I choke out, bemused and coughing as he lets me go.
“Sure! I got an invite, didn’t I!”
Oh. I guess one of the guys from work sent him one, he’s been friendly with a couple when they’ve come over to see my other work.
“It’s good to see you, Jesse. Good job on the Excelsior Pride announcement,” I spin and find Shahid smiling at me.
I shake his hand and say thanks. This is weird, right? No, wait, Shahid works at Excelsior Comics, too, this makes sense actually, of course.
You know what, I’m making a lot out of nothing. It’s not that much of a secret, the Excelsior Party is kind of an open secret every year, so of course there’d be some overlap here. Even in a city the size of New York. Yeah.
A drink. That’s what I need, another drink. I head towards the bar, and wait for the crowd of guys in front of me to finish getting served. After a minute they turn, and my jaw hits the floor.
“Oh hey, Jesse! There you are,” says Perry.
“Good to see you, mister,” Tom pats his large hand on my shoulder.
“I can’t believe you! It’s so good to see you again so soon!” Seth hugs me on my side, as I try and remember how my mouth works.
“I didn’t realize you knew these guys too, Jesse. What a small world the city is, huh?” The biggest surprise of all is Luther standing right before me, with them, looking smart in another finely tailored suit.
They meander off to the side to drink their drinks, telling me to come find them when I get mine. Instead, I lean against the bar trying to work out just what is going on here. It feels like all my worlds are starting to collide, and I don’t know what that means. I mean, none of us are exclusive, and I’m sure I mentioned to a couple of them that I’d been seeing other people, but not all of them. Didn’t I?
Oh no. What if I upset someone? What if I lose friends because of this? What if I lose?—?
“Jesse? You okay?” I look over my shoulder, and my shock and panic deepens. There’s Duke, and just behind him, I see Will coming through the door into O’Malley’s. What did I do?
I work my mouth, unable to make any words come out. Will sees me too, and heads over.
“Hey, Jesse! It’s so good to see you, man! I didn’t know what kind of vibe this was, so I went casual, hope this is okay,” he walks towards me, in a cut off denim waist coat jacket covered in patches and pins, shiny, black rubber trousers and Doc Marten boots, a lace vest underneath only partially obscuring the slight tufts of hair on his body, and failing to cover his pierced nipple entirely.
I stumble forward, dropping my glass and it shatters onto the floor. Duke catches me, and holds me up, and I look around, realizing the heads of many of the other attendees are turning towards the commotion.
“Jesse, dude. What’s wrong?”
I turn and my heart goes from ramping up in speed to stopping cold in my chest. Cal stands before me, flanked by Arran, a drink in his hand. He’s made an effort too, dressed in a fresh t-shirt, his favorite dungarees on, and tussled his hair just how I like it, a touch of eyeliner on which just serves to accentuate those insane eyelashes and his blue eyes.
As Cal comes to stand in front of me, he looks curiously at Duke holding me. And then one by one, all the guys from my list start crowding around me, as the room seems to get quieter and quieter, more and more eyes turning towards us.
“I-I-I—” it’s all that comes out of me, I feel like my throat is closing up.
And that’s when I see him blundering towards us, a drink sloshing in his hand as he shoves past people.
“Oh, I see how it is,” Hank slurs at me, pointing accusingly. “Stringing me along while you slut your way through half the gays of Manhattan, that it?”
Gasps spring up around the room. My head swivels on my neck, looking at all the faces staring. Some are holding up their phones too, and I don’t even want to think about what will be done with those videos.
I feel my chest tighten, as I try to take in breath. “That’s not…that’s not what?—”
Cal rushes forward, holding onto my other side, trying to put his face in front of mine. “Jesse, Jess, come on now, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong? Do you need air?”
“What he needs is to get the fuck outta my sight,” booms Hank. “To think I was gonna help you out, and all I wanted from you, all I needed, was a little reciprocation, a little quid pro quo. I little fuckin’ head, and it’s not like you haven’t been giving everyone some of that by the looks of it!”
The gasps continue and get louder, and for a moment I think I see Anna fighting through the crowd of people to get up to us. I hear Will yell at Hank, calling him a dirty old man and to watch his fucking mouth, but I hear it like it’s happening in another room.
My vision starts wobbling, moving in and out like someone trying to focus a camera lens, as black spots start to float around the edges.
“No, get the fuck off me. Jesse, you are fired ! You hear me? Don’t you dare show your face at the office, ever again ! And hell, don’t show your face in this industry, you tawdry little boy whore! I’ll make sure you never work again , making a damned fool outta me, you dirty?—”
I’m not sure if he cuts off because someone stopped him talking, I just hear gasps and yells as if I’m underwater, and then I feel myself falling. My chest feels so tight I think it’s going to rip open, and I can’t breathe, oh my god, why can’t I breathe? Is this it? Is this a symptom? Am I dying?
I feel a tug at my side, but it’s not enough, I keep falling, the muffled cries of whatever is happening in the world around me like a ruckus in somewhere far away, as my head lolls forward and everything turns to black.