Chapter 8
Tristan
My whole body buzzed with anticipation as we walked hand in hand to my apartment door. I let us inside, quickly checking to see where Ellery was. Their door was shut, so they must’ve already gone to bed.
“Looks like they’ve already gone to bed. The fair yesterday had us both exhausted, so I’m not surprised.”
Daniel looked at me with curiosity. “They?”
Worry wormed its way into my chest. You’d think everyone in the lifestyle and queer community would be accepting of nonbinary and trans people, but that wasn’t always the case. I looked into his eyes and only saw genuine curiosity, so I told him. “Ellery is non-binary and uses They/Them pronouns.”
“Thank you for telling me. I’m glad I know so I can address them correctly.”
Squeezing his hand, I sighed in relief, thankful that he was accepting of Ellery; if he hadn’t been, I would’ve ended this immediately. I spent most of my life surrounded by people full of judgment and hate, and I was determined to keep them out of my life.
I rocked back and forth on my heels, unsure of where to go from here. I looked up at Daniel with pleading eyes.
“Before we do anything, I want you to know that if I overstep or do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can let me know. And if words become too hard, you can always safeword to give yourself time to collect your thoughts.”
All the tension I didn’t even realize I was holding left my body in an instant.
“T-thank you. I prefer to use the traffic light system. Is that okay with you?”
“That’s perfect! Now, let’s get you ready for bed, sweetheart. Can you show me your room?”
I hummed in agreement and pulled him into my room.
My fingers twitched nervously around his as I watched him take in our surroundings.
I had a queen-sized bed dressed in dragon-themed sheets.
Half of the bed was covered in my favorite stuffies and character-themed throw blankets.
Various shelves lined the walls; some held a wide variety of books, from children’s books to romance novels and even manga.
The other shelves held multiple bins and baskets filled with my toys and crochet supplies.
“I love your room, baby. It’s the perfect room for a perfect boy, and your bed looks so soft and comfy. Perfect for cuddles.” He pointed to my dresser. “Where are your jammies?”
“They are in the bottom right, and my undies are in the top left.”
He let go of my hand and ruffled my hair. “Alright, sweetie, why don’t you go use the potty and brush your teeth while I pick out your clothes?”
I nodded excitedly and then quickly made my way to the bathroom, Ellery and I shared. My whole body was vibrating as I used the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I had a Daddy, and he was picking out my clothes. I almost wanted to pinch myself; I couldn’t believe this was real.
Re-entering my room, I saw Daniel standing by the edge of my bed.
He’d laid out one of my many dragon-themed footie pajamas and a matching pair of training pants.
I’d felt so comfortable with Daniel that it had altogether skipped my mind that changing my underwear would mean that he’d see my penis.
I took deep breaths as I felt my chest starting to tighten.
Daniel had been kind and understanding; if I wanted this to work, I needed to trust him.
Daniel held his hand out and smiled so softly it made my knees weak. “Come here, little one, let’s get you ready for bed.”
I couldn’t help it when I let out a happy giggle. He’d called me little one. I loved it when he called me sweetheart, but how he said ‘little one’ instantly made me feel cherished and, well, little.
After I made my way over to him, he pulled me against him and enveloped me in the softest hug I’d ever had.
Our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces; his big, strong, yet smooth body cradled mine against his, and it was heaven.
I melted further against him as he kissed the side of my head.
I held back a whine of protest when he pulled away to face me and cupped my cheek.
“May I kiss you, sweetheart?”
I couldn’t hold it back that time and whimpered. “Please.”
His eyes bore into mine with a mix of softness and affection I had never seen before as he lowered his face and placed his lips on mine.
Warmth spread through my body as his lips intertwined with mine.
He pulled back and gave me one last peck before pulling away, his tongue darted out to lick his lips like he was trying to savor the taste of me.
“So soft and sweet.”
His voice was low and rough; the sound shot straight to my special place, making it harden. I wiggled at the sensation of pre-come beginning to leak from my tip.
“Let’s get these clothes off. My boy needs some good rest after all this excitement.”
His words made me shiver, and a soft haze of contentment wrapped around my body at his claim.
I was his boy, he said so. Daniel slowly removed all of my clothes until I stood before him in nothing but a pair of thick training pants with monkeys on the front.
My hand immediately shot down to cover my crotch.
Fear seized my chest as I began breathing rapidly.
He was going to see it; what if it grossed him out?
I just found the daddy of my dreams, and the thought of losing him so soon was unbearable.
I was pulled from my racing thoughts when I felt both of his big, rough hands cupping my face. “Take deep breaths for me, sweetie. Everything is okay. You are safe, I promise. I would rather chop off my arm than ever do anything that would hurt you.”
Some of my tension eased at words, but the fear still coursed through me like a raging storm. Anytime someone found out about my penis, they always felt sorry for me or teased me for not being a real man.
The few sexual partners I had hated the mess my leaking caused, and they often made me feel disgusting because of it.
I’d practically given up on dating when my last partner told me he wasn’t surprised I was a bottom with how useless my dick was.
I’d been so caught up in this wonderful, sweet man and promises of playtime that I forgot there was no way he could ever truly want a man like me. No one did.
I stiffened when I felt Daniel wipe away tears I didn’t even realize I had shed.
He scooped me into his arms, and I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist and buried my face into his soft, warm chest. My body melted against his as he sat on the edge of the bed, keeping me tucked against him.
“Oh, sweet boy, I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m here… Daddy’s here. I’ve got you.”
Daddy… I had a Daddy. He rocked me side to side as sobs wracked my body. Years of pain and rejection spilled out of me as this man, whom I barely knew yet already felt so attached to, cooed at me softly. I focused on breathing until I could speak, but my nerves made me stutter horribly.
“I- I s- so- sorry. I- I’m s- scared.”
He rubbed my back in soothing circles as he spoke. “Are you scared of me changing your undies?”
I shook my head slowly as I fisted his shirt in my hands. “I s- scared you won’t w- want me anymore after you s- see it… no one d-does. I’m useless and messy.”
“Boy, I know you’re scared, but I don’t like to hear you speak about yourself like that.
” He peeled me off his chest and held my chin between his fingers.
“Tristan, I have loved every second of our time together and cannot wait to learn more about you. I admire your passion for your craft and the joy in your eyes as you played with the blocks at my table. Baby, you took my breath away.”
More tears trickled down my face, but this time they were happy tears.
I couldn’t believe this gorgeous man was saying such sweet, wonderful words to me, and he wasn’t done.
“Now, I have the most handsome and beautiful boy sitting in my lap in his adorable undies.” He tightened his grip on my chin, pulled me closer, and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.
“Baby, I feel so fortunate that you’ve even given me a chance, and I can’t think of a damn thing that would make me not want you anymore. ”
My heart hammered in my chest as his words healed a part of me.
I was sitting in his lap, in nothing but my undies, crying my eyes out, and he thought I was beautiful.
My heart ached to trust him and let him heal the hurt others had caused.
I tried to find my words, but my brain was buzzing, trying to process everything that happened.
“T- thank y-you… I want- I have a-… my-” He rubbed my chin with his thumb as his soft lips placed another kiss on my forehead. “Shh, sweetheart, it’s okay. That was very overwhelming, wasn’t it?’ I melted against his hand and nodded.
“Do you want me to go into the hall so you can change?” Surprisingly, the thought of him leaving even for a second made my body tense in panic. I shook my head wildly.
“Do you want to show Daddy now, or is it still too scary? I promise that whatever it is, I will never make fun of you or judge you.”
“I’m still really anxious, but I’m tired of being scared, and I- I really like you. For this to work, we need to trust each other, and you’ve been so kind and sweet to me.” I took a deep breath to steady myself. “I want this to work so badly… so I’m going to be brave and trust you.”
His smile was blinding as he ruffled my hair. “That’s right, sweetheart. You’re so smart… I’m so very proud of you. My brave boy. Do you want Daddy to change your undies?”
The panic wasn’t completely gone, and might never be, but I knew I wanted to move forward and place my trust in this wonderfully sweet man.
“Please, Daddy. I trust you.”