Chapter 19
Juliette
A day stuck in the house with Wes normally wouldn’t have seemed all that bad, but he’d been a little off ever since last night.
I might’ve thought it had something to do with the quarantine order, but we’d been through worse, and he’d never seemed this affected.
Before bed last night, I’d asked him if something was wrong, and he said no, so I’d opted to go to sleep, hoping everything would be better today.
But this morning, he’d left the bed without saying anything, and when I got to the kitchen, he was uncharacteristically quiet during coffee and breakfast. Things had been going so great with us.
.. Perhaps that was too good to be true.
Maybe some of the guilt and fear that had held him back for so long had started to creep in again.
By mid-afternoon, Wes was outside installing a new mailbox for me, since my previous one had been accidentally destroyed by a delivery truck.
I took the opportunity of an empty house to call my mother.
I needed to vent, and she was once again the only person I could trust and who also understood everything I was going through.
Mom and I had downloaded a secure app recently that allowed us to call each other and hopefully bypass any tapping.
I could never be completely sure it was safe, but I told myself it was.
“Hey, honey. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today,” Mom said after she picked up.
“I know.” I exhaled. “I really need to talk to you, and you might not be too happy with what I have to say.” I swallowed, a little nervous to admit everything.
“Now you’re worrying me.”
“It’s nothing bad.” I paced, looking out the window to make sure Wes was still a safe distance away. “Well, at least not anything you didn’t already see coming.”
I explained to my mother where things had gone with Wes and me recently.
“You’re right that this situation is no surprise,” she finally said. “I’d ask what you were thinking, but I know what you were thinking. That man is irresistible.”
“It’s not just physical, Mom. It’s so much more than that.”
“He really had me convinced he wasn’t going to go there with you when I confronted him,” she said. “Either he’s a good actor, or you really did a number on him.”
“Wes had no intention of losing control. He’d tried to stop it from happening for a long time. I’ve been the one who’s more forward.” I shrugged. “But everyone has a breaking point.”
She sighed. “I just hope your father doesn’t find out.”
My stomach sank. “That goes without saying.”
“You both need to be careful.”
“We know that. Believe me.”
“All right. Besides the obvious downsides to this situation… Are you happy?”
I wanted to cry. If she’d asked me that question a couple of days ago, my answer would’ve been much different. I’d been deliriously happy exploring a relationship with Wes. But today? I didn’t know what to think anymore.
“It was bliss for a while. We even went away together to Palm Springs and everything. He’d been a little off here and there since then, but then last night, Wes shut down.”
“What’s he saying to you?”
“Nothing. That’s the problem.” I sighed.
“He’s just not his usual happy self, and it seems like he might be avoiding me.
Well, as much as you can avoid someone when you’re stuck in the house together.
He’s been busying himself away from me. He offered to put in a new mailbox, which was very random, even if it needed to be done.
The change in attitude makes me wonder if he’s having regrets about letting things happen between us. ”
“In all honesty, sweetie…he might be. And rightfully so. Whatever the cause, don’t push it.
No one likes being nagged. Just give Wes the space to work through it on his own, even if it’s difficult for you.
He’s put himself in a very serious situation.
And he knows it. The reality is only now setting in. ”
“Yeah.” I gazed out the window at Wes working. “I just wish he’d talk to me about it, rather than close up.”
“This is a big chance he’s taking. And a big chance you’re taking, too. We’ve seen this story before, Juliette, and we know how it ends.”
My chest tightened. “It can’t end that way with Wes. I won’t let anything bad happen to him. I need to figure out a way to get him away from Dad. And soon.”
“And how are you going to do that without your father knowing about your feelings for Wes?”
I paced. “I’m not sure yet, but there has to be a way around this.”
“I think your best bet is to keep things quiet for the foreseeable future. If there were an easy way out of this, I would’ve taken it a long time ago, my love.” She paused. “And I wish I had a solution, for your sake. I sometimes feel so guilty for bringing you into this world.”
That made me sad. “Don’t ever feel guilty. As hard as it is being Vince’s daughter, I would never choose not to be here. We’re stronger because of it in some ways. I learned from the best. Seriously, you’re so cool under pressure.”
“Wish I didn’t need to practice that skill so much.
” She chuckled. “Listen, I know I warned you about getting involved with Wes when I was out in California. My concerns still stand. But I’m happy you feel like you can open up to me about anything.
You know I’ll always listen, even if I don’t fully agree with your choices. And I love you so much.”
“Thank you, Mom. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I’ll pray you never have to find out.”
That sent a shiver through me. The thought of something happening to my mother freaked me out more than anything. I was an only child. In many ways, Mom was the only “normal” family I had.
After we got off the phone, I looked out at Wes putting the finishing touches on the new mailbox. He was right outside but felt a world away.
***
Later that evening, Wes seemed a bit more like his normal self.
Earlier, when he’d come in from the mailbox project, I’d asked him again if something was wrong, and he’d denied it.
But it seemed like his demeanor had changed for the better after my inquisition, as if he hadn’t realized his attitude was so obvious.
Later in the evening, desperate to lighten the mood, I suggested we play a game of truth or dare as we sat together on the couch, a fun way to pass the time.
“Truth or dare?” he scoffed. “I think the last time I played that was in junior high.”
“Adults can play, too.” I ran a hand through his hair. “Have a drink with me.”
He closed his eyes briefly as I massaged his scalp. “Now is not the time for me to be letting my guard down, Juliette.”
“Just one,” I prodded. “You can’t get drunk from one drink. It’ll take the edge off.”
Wes clenched his teeth. I could tell he really wanted a drink.
“Okay.” He stood and walked to the kitchen. “But if you see me going for another, you kick me in the balls.”
“I like your balls,” I called after him. “I’ll do no such thing.”
Wes grabbed a beer for him and a hard seltzer for me.
“Who’s gonna start?” I asked, sinking deeper into the couch.
“You.” He pointed his bottle toward me.
“Okay…truth or dare?” I asked, opening my can.
“Truth,” he answered.
“What’s your favorite part of my body?” I could feel my cheeks burn as I awaited his answer.
Wes took a long sip of his beer. “Your eyes.”
I squinted. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“I thought you were gonna say something else…”
“I can’t possibly choose between your tits, your beautiful pussy, and your ass. They all win in my book. But…I could look into your eyes all day.”
“Well, I’ll take that.” I smiled. “Your turn to ask me.”
“Truth or dare?” he droned.
“I’ll start with truth, too.”
Wes scratched his chin. “When I first moved in, did it really upset you when I took my shirt off? Or were you just putting on a tough act?”
I grinned. “It was my reaction to your shirtless chest that upset me the most. But there was nothing about looking at you I didn’t like. So no, the sight of you shirtless didn’t upset me. How could it? Your chest is like a work of art.”
He nodded smugly. “That’s what I thought.”
“Cocky much?”
“You love that about me.”
“I do.” I winked. I took a second to think up my next question. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” he said.
“Truth again? Are you scared of my dares or something?”
“Not really. I mean, how much trouble can we get into when we can’t leave this house?”
“True.” I cleared my throat. “What’s one moment we’ve shared together that you wish you could relive?”
He stared off for a moment. “Our bike ride in Ortigia is up there. Just the two of us in the middle of nowhere riding peacefully together, getting to witness how happy you were being away from this craziness was pretty cool.” He looked into my eyes.
“I remember wishing I could give you that kind of life every day.”
That made me a bit emotional. How I wished we could go back. “Thank you. That isn’t the memory I expected you to pick, but that’s beautiful.”
He grinned mischievously. “You thought it was going to be the moment I said ‘fuck it all’, right? The first time we had sex? That was nice, too, believe me.”
I smiled, crossing my legs. “Okay. Your turn.”
“Truth or dare?” he asked.
“Truth.”
Wes scratched his chin. “Describe me using only emojis.”
I took out my phone, opened a text, then selected a heart, the eggplant, the flexing arm, a police officer, and the flame. Then I faced the phone toward him.
“Nice.” He chuckled.
“Truth or dare?” I asked.
“Truth,” he said.
I decided to go for the kill. “Why were you really quiet this morning? And you can’t lie. You have to tell me the truth.”
His face reddened.
What the fuck?
“Dare,” he finally said.
My pulse raced. “Why won’t you admit it?”
“Admit what?”
“That you’re having regrets about what’s happened between us.”