Chapter 17
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
It was late. Too late to be making her way to Kirby’s door, but Mara couldn’t sleep.
She’d forgotten what it was like after a race at the Olympics. The press in the exchange zone. The hoops to jump through.
All Mara wanted to do was hide.
No, that wasn’t quite true. All Mara wanted was to hide in Kirby’s bed.
Not the best impulse in the middle of the most important competition of her life.
But, still, she knocked.
Their hallway had American flag pennant banners taped from wall to wall. She’d seen the ski jumpers decorating yesterday. Kirby’s door had a picture of the Statue of Liberty on it.
Lady Liberty swung inward as Jordan answered. Because of course Jordan answered.
“Oh, Mara!” Then Jordan was hugging her, which was about the nicest thing in the entire world. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
Over Jordan’s shoulder, Mara saw Kirby sit up in bed.
“I’m fine. Can’t sleep.”
It was five days until Mara competed again. She needed to put the skiathlon behind her, but she deserved one night to wallow. Right?
It was only three days until Kirby’s first event. The sprint classic.
She should have been letting Kirby rest. Letting Kirby focus.
“You should come in. We can watch a movie or gossip. Kirby and I were looking at the options on Hinge,” Jordan said. Sweet, young Jordan. She had a few star-shaped, acne-healing stickers on her face—a trend that, again, made Mara feel very old.
“Hinge.” Mara felt like her brain was buried under snow.
“It’s a dating app,” Jordan said.
“I know.” It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Kirby was looking at a dating app. And it didn’t mean anything. Mara logically knew it didn’t mean anything.
Just like she logically knew that their occasional collisions resulting in orgasms also didn’t mean anything.
Kirby got out of bed. She was in boxers and that black sports bra Mara was becoming obsessed with. She pulled on a pair of sweats.
Mara had made a mistake. There was no way to get out of this situation without setting off Jordan’s alarm bells. Jordan might have been young, but she wasn’t oblivious. She would realize something weird was going on.
“I promised Kirby I’d film a TikTok with her,” Mara stuttered out.
Every other cross-country skier on the team, men and women, had appeared in one of Kirby’s videos by that point.
She posted one every day, filling her feed with constant Olympic content.
Mara hadn’t posted once since getting to Italy.
“Oh.” Jordan glanced at Kirby, a bit bewildered. “That’s cool. Should I leave?”
“Of course not,” Kirby said. They were the first words she’d uttered, and it was a shot straight through Mara’s stomach. “We can go to the lounge. You need to go to sleep, Jordan. Your training time is bright and early.”
“Yes, Mom,” Jordan said with a smiling eyeroll.
Mara felt a rush of tenderness toward her young teammate, and she impulsively gave Jordan another hug. “Thank you. We’ll look at Hinge together some other time.”
Kirby ushered Jordan back into their room, grabbed one of the welcome gift bags they’d all received off a table by the door, and led Mara down the hallway.
“Do you even have Hinge?” Kirby asked, her voice clipped.
“No, but I’ve heard I can get it on this fancy thing I own called a phone.”
“Jesus Christ, you’re being very weird.”
Mara shrugged, feeling lost. “I just need some anger management.”
Kirby pinned Mara to a wall so quickly, it was like Mara had been transported.
“Anyone could see us here,” Mara managed, but she almost didn’t care. She ran her fingertips down the ditch of Kirby’s spine, and Kirby shuddered.
Then Kirby ripped herself away.
“Lindsey isn’t in my room.”
“Where is she? Doing press?” Kirby asked.
“No. I think she’s…” Mara didn’t want to say. She had suspicions, but she didn’t want to give away a secret that wasn’t hers to tell.
“Oh, she’s with Apollo?” Kirby said.
Evidently that was a bit more common knowledge than Mara had suspected.
“That’s my guess.”
Kirby grabbed Mara’s hand and pulled her down the hallway.
“I wonder where Apollo’s roommate is,” Kirby said.
“We’re all playing musical beds. Someone is going to be without a place to sleep. Not that I’m expecting you to sleep with me. If you don’t want to. I know that’s not what this—”
“Mara, shut up.” Kirby grabbed the key from Mara and yanked open her door.
Mara expected to be shoved onto the bed, but Kirby just stared at her once the door shut behind them.
“It’s okay to be sad,” Kirby whispered.
Mara nodded. She was sad. But it still didn’t quite feel real. Soon, it would catch up with her, but it hadn’t yet.
She’d hugged her mom, who she hadn’t seen in months, after the race.
Then her dad, who had been tightlipped but kind enough.
She’d thrown away her new sunglasses. Because she was sure that would make her feel better.
It hadn’t. Then she’d turned off her phone and drifted through the rest of the day in a daze.
Until right then, when the world sharpened into focus on Kirby’s lips, her mouth, her smile.
Kirby cupped Mara’s chin and tilted her head back, so Mara was forced to meet her eyes.
“Let me take care of you.”
She already was. “Okay.”
Kirby helped Mara undress. She tugged Mara’s shirt over her head. Her hair fell in a mess over her shoulders and down her back. Her bra came off next, followed by her sweats and panties.
Was it the first time she’d been totally naked with Kirby? It felt like it.
“You too,” Mara murmured as she half-heartedly shoved at the waistband of Kirby’s sweatpants.
Kirby flung the pants off, then the rest of her clothes too.
They lay together looking their fills, like two virgins who had never done it before.
Mara discovered more tattoos on Kirby’s body—a moth on her shoulder blade, tiny snowflakes falling down her ribs.
And Kirby rubbed her back in long sweeps until Mara was practically wrapped around her in her desire to get closer. To feel Kirby’s hands.
Mara felt like she had to say something important, something urgent, as her fingertips explored the bumps of Kirby’s rib cage, the soft flesh of her ass, the strong stretch of muscle down her thigh.
“You didn’t kiss me the last time we did this. And I didn’t kiss you,” was what slipped out when Mara opened her mouth. That had haunted Mara, that she hadn’t taken full advantage. Every time could be their last, and she needed to treat it that way.
“We kissed in the bathroom. After my panic attack.”
“That was a good kiss,” Mara said.
“It was. Top-of-the-podium kissing.”
Mara started to smile, but Kirby pressed their lips together before her smile fully formed. Gently, and then harder as Mara’s body pushed for more.
Kirby rolled Mara onto her back. Mara spread her thighs and wrapped her legs around Kirby’s.
“Mmm, one day, I’ll fuck you like this,” Kirby said, her voice slow and sleepy. “Get a nice big strap-on and fill you up.”
Mara arched at the words. She didn’t know if one day would be possible, but it turned her on anyway.
“Kirby,” Mara whispered. The name tasted sweet on her lips. In her mouth.
“I’ve got you, princess.”
They kissed again. Syrupy slow. And Kirby slipped her fingers into Mara. Their bodies moved together. It felt dreamlike. Almost like Mara was half asleep. Her muscles hurt, from the race and from the fall. But every clench felt unbelievable.
“I’m gonna come,” Mara said, dazed at how a few fingers were about to shatter her so easily.
Kirby brushed their lips together, and Mara’s breath went haywire. Kirby kissed her deeper, her lush lips more overwhelming than her fingers.
A surge of pleasure flooded through Mara. And another, cresting slow, slow, slowly. She gasped at the end, having to rip her mouth away. Kirby kept kissing her.
Her neck, her jaw, her ear.
“I should lose more often,” Mara whispered.
Kirby laughed against her skin. “If you let me do this every time you lose, I’ll have to agree.”
“Your turn,” Mara said. She went to sit up. To do something to make Kirby feel good. Anything.
“No, it’s okay. Take a minute to recover, Mara. We have time.”
But they didn’t have time. Their whole life was a race. Three days to Kirby’s next event. Five to Mara’s. Fifteen to the fifty-k. It felt like forever and also not nearly enough time.
Plus, Lindsey could open that door at any second, and that was a risk they both should have been worried about.
But Mara was exhausted. Every reserve of energy in her body had been expended during the skiathlon. Which she’d lost spectacularly.
Mara didn’t want to face that.
“Will you just talk? Distract me, but I don’t… I don’t know.”
“You don’t want to talk back?”
“I want to listen to you.”
Kirby cupped her cheek, and they stared at each other.
It was too much. Mara closed her eyes, blocking everything out except Kirby’s skin against hers. And Kirby’s voice as she started talking.
She talked about skiing gossip, and random reality stars she knew, and the things she’d seen in the stands that day. Lots of things Mara didn’t give a crap about. And Mara let Kirby’s voice wash over her until her aching muscles relaxed, and she fell asleep.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d been out, but when the room came back into focus, Kirby was humming off-key and braiding small sections of Mara’s hair.
Mara tried not to move because she didn’t want Kirby to stop, but Kirby seemed to be a thousand miles away. She had earphones in. Her mouth was soft. She looked younger. Innocent.
When Kirby noticed Mara was awake, she put her earphones away.
“What were you listening to?” Mara asked.
“Sad girl pop.”
“Don’t be sad.” Mara kissed her chin. Kirby’s arms tightened, and a hand delved deep into Mara’s hair, tipping her head back.
Mara’s body zipped fully awake, and she moaned. Kirby glanced at her, surprise clear on her face.
“What?” Mara asked.
“That’s the loudest sound I’ve heard you make.”
“Oh.”
“You like it when I pull your hair.”
During any of their other times together, Mara would have rolled her eyes or said duh. But her brain felt too fuzzy to play. To fight.
“Do you like it rough, Mara May?” Kirby asked. It sounded as much like a genuine question as it did dirty talk.
“When you do it, yes,” she said. Which was way, way too revealing.
Mara and Kirby had done this a few times now, and it was always a blur and a rush. Kirby was more than generous, and Mara was a greedy little monster.
“I want to make you come,” Mara said.
Kirby studied her for a long moment. “Then lie on your back.”
Kirby fanned Mara’s hair out on the twin bed before leaning in to kiss her.
“Your mouth. It’s unfair how much I think about it,” Kirby admitted. “Those lips. Fuck.”
Then, without fanfare or warning, Kirby threw her leg over Mara and straddled her face. Her knees were on the ends of Mara’s hair, tugging it, stinging her scalp, and holding her down.
Mara’s hands grabbed Kirby’s ass, fingertips digging in. “Oh, God. I’ve never done this. Like this, I mean.”
“Do you want to?” Kirby asked.
“Yes.”
“Good.” Kirby dragged her pussy over Mara’s lips. She was wet. And she tasted incredible.
“Fuck,” Mara whispered. It was hard to get the angle right with Kirby on her hair, but it also made her feel a bit wild. Like it truly was a fight. A fight and an exposure all in one.
Kirby twitched her hips and planted a hand on the wall. Mara wished she could step outside of herself to watch Kirby work her magic, to see her, head thrown back, hips rocking, fully naked.
“Your mouth is so sweet, princess,” Kirby panted.
Mara let her fingers play through the wetness between Kirby’s legs. She couldn’t get her fingers as deep as she wanted, but that simple touch made Kirby groan.
This position felt very vulnerable. Submissive.
Kirby was fucking against her face, dragging her clit over Mara’s tongue, her lips. Her pussy drenched Mara’s chin.
And Mara’s mind went blissfully blank, and not in the way she forced it to when she was scared or shy or upset. Not compartmentalization to protect herself.
No, this was freedom. And she wanted it to last forever.
But it didn’t.
Kirby reached down and fisted Mara’s hair. Then she froze, arched, and shuddered again and again.
And that was pretty mind-blowing too. Feeling Kirby lose it. Hearing her shout, even though they should not have been shouting in the middle of the Olympic Village.
“Holy shit,” Kirby rasped out, ripples flowing through her. She fell next to Mara on the bed. “You’re trouble, Mara May.”
“The good kind, I hope.”
“Eh,” Kirby closed her eyes. She had sweat on her shoulders and throat. Her cheeks were red. She was the sexiest person Mara had ever seen. “Verdict’s still out.”