32. Chapter 32
32
Chapter 32
Bronwen
I took extra time to ready myself this morning, feeling a lightness in my heart. If it was because of August, I’d never admit it. I decided it must be because we were finally making progress in finding Carrow.
Or maybe it was because I didn’t have a nightmare last night.
I didn’t even plan on having him bite me. And I didn’t do it because I wanted a full night’s sleep again. I did it because I wanted to feel the weird sensation that it gave me.
And it was better than I was expecting.
Not having a nightmare was just a plus.
The biting chill in the air had been growing stronger by the day, leaving only a few hours of warmth when the sun hung highest. Today was one of the more pleasant of those days. I left my cloak behind, not wanting it to cover my deep red dress, before walking out the door to meet with August.
The woods felt alive as I walked, the crunch of fallen leaves beneath my feet mingling with the distant chirping of birds. Shafts of sunlight filtered through the canopy, dappling the path ahead in patches of gold. My steps were slow, measured, as though savoring the calm before the inevitable tension of meeting him.
About halfway to the pond, a subtle shift in the atmosphere made me pause. The light seemed dimmer here, the shadows thicker, and the rustling of the leaves overhead felt more like whispers than the wind. A chill unrelated to the weather slid down my spine, and for a fleeting moment, I wondered if August had decided to arrive early and watch me from the trees.
Shaking the thought, I pressed on, my heartbeat quickening.
“There you are.”
I whipped my head around at the familiar, deep voice, my heartbeat quickening. The air around me grew heavier as Lowen stepped out of the shadows, his face contorted with anger. The woods, usually a haven, felt smaller, the trees pressing in around us.
“Lowen?” I scanned the woods for any sign of August, my unease mounting. He had to be close.
“Who are you looking for? The man I’ve seen you with at Market? Is that why you’ve refused to see me?” His voice was sharp, cutting through the quiet with bitterness.
“You know why I haven’t seen you, Lowen,” I said through gritted teeth, my body tensing.
“The day in the barn? When you had me begging you to marry me just to bid me away?” He scoffed, his tone dripping with resentment. “Oh, I’m far from that now.”
“Then what do you want?” My voice wavered, though I tried to steady it.
“I want what is due to me.” He stepped closer, his eyes darkening with intent.
Before I could react, someone grabbed me from behind, pinning my arms tightly against my sides. The sudden force stole my breath, and I struggled against the grip. Lowen’s lips curled into a cruel smirk as he approached.
“Let me go,” I hissed, thrashing against my captor. Desperation gave me strength as I reared back, my head slamming into the person’s face. A sharp, wet crack followed, and they let out a pained scream, releasing me. I spun around and saw one of Lowen’s friends gripping his nose, blood streaming between his fingers.
“You bitch,” he mumbled, venom in his tone. “You’re going to regret that.”
I stepped back quickly, positioning myself to keep both Lowen and his friend in view. The air seemed to thrum with tension, my mind racing through my options. Running crossed my mind, but it wasn’t in my nature to flee from a fight. My hand hovered near the blade strapped under my dress, ready to defend myself.
Lowen’s friend lunged first, his steps heavy and uncoordinated, but before he could reach me, a blur shot between us. In the next instant, his body was airborne, crashing against a tree with a sickening crack. The sound of his fall was muffled by the eerie stillness that followed.
My breath hitched as I saw August emerge from the shadows, his eyes darkened with fury as he watched the blood pooling beneath the lifeless body. He took a slow breath, regaining his composure before turning his cold, piercing gaze to Lowen.
In an instant, August was behind him. He gripped Lowen’s neck, his fingers curling with a controlled ferocity that betrayed his calm demeanor as he forced Lowen to look him in the eyes.
“What were you planning on doing?” August’s voice was low, almost conversational, but there was a chilling edge beneath the surface that made the hairs on my arms stand up.
Lowen’s face twisted in defiance, though fear flickered in his eyes. “I was going to take what she should’ve given me years a—”
Before the words could fully escape his mouth, August’s grip tightened, and with a swift, effortless motion, the sickening crack of a broken neck echoed through the clearing. Lowen’s body crumpled to the ground with a heavy thud. I stared at the body, trying to make myself feel sad. But I felt nothing other than he had gotten exactly what he deserved.
“Winnie.” His voice brought me away from the guilt that formed because I didn’t feel sad for Lowen or his disgusting friend. August was stiff, his eyes wide.
“What?” I asked.
“You—you’ve never—” his voice trailed off.
What was his problem? He almost looked remorseful, but there was no way he regretted what he just did.
I was going to take what she should’ve given me.
Oh no.
“Do not make something out of this.” I turned to avoid his stare but he was in front of me again.
He pinched my chin between his fingers and forced me to look at him. “Winnie.”
I pushed his hand away. “Yes, August. You were my first.”
He shook his head. “You should have told me. I would’ve—”
“You would have what? Been more gentle? Made it special? I know, and I didn’t want that. I wanted to feel exactly how you are. I didn’t want you to hold back.”
August straightened slowly as he slid his hands into his pockets, his expression blank save for the faintest hint of satisfaction lingering in his smirk. “Winnie, that was me holding back. I fear if I did what I wanted to do to you . . . you might break.”
Heat rose to my cheeks, not because of what he said, but more because of how bad I wanted to know what he meant. What he could do.
I had to move my mind from that. I turned, my eyes locking on the bodies again. One thrown against a tree in a way only a vampire or a witch could do. Adar already had me worried, and now there was another incident that made the woods less safe.
I clenched my hands into fists. “Dammit, August.” I turned away, my steps quick as I followed the direction I had come from.
“Where are you going?” Wind whispered through the trees, brushing against my hair as he moved in one quick motion to be standing next to me. “You’re welcome,” he added, his tone infuriatingly casual.
I gritted my teeth, doing everything in my power to ignore him. As the familiar silhouette of our old wood barn appeared ahead, I silently prayed Papa wouldn’t be there.
Why do you need a shovel, Winnie? Who is that man lurking in the woods watching your every step, Winnie?
August halted at a safe distance from our yard, his sharp gaze scanning its boundaries. I wasn’t sure if he understood the full extent of the protective spells Papa had placed, but he seemed to know enough not to press his luck.
I cracked the barn door open just enough to peer inside, the creak of the hinges causing the horses to stir. They settled once they saw it was me—all except for Shadow. He neighed impatiently, bumping his stall door with an insistent nudge, demanding my attention.
“Not now, boy,” I murmured, stepping into the barn. I ran a hand along his neck, his familiar warmth grounding me for a fleeting moment before I turned back to the task at hand. I grabbed the shovel and stepped outside once more.
August stood waiting, his foot tapping a slow rhythm against the ground. His expression was a mix of impatience and amusement, as if my delay had personally inconvenienced him. “Took you long enough,” he said, his smirk deepening as he watched me approach.
I walked past him, ignoring the sharpness in his gaze that seemed to demand acknowledgment, his smirk fading just slightly as I brushed by. The tension hung between us, thick and unyielding, as though he were daring me to stop and meet his eyes. But I didn’t give him the satisfaction.
I made it back to where Lowen and his friend’s bodies still lay, lifeless and heavy with the weight of what had transpired. The sight of the bloodstained ground brought a wave of emotions crashing over me—anger at their audacity to attack me, guilt over their deaths despite not being the one to kill them, and frustration that I now had to deal with this mess. My hands trembled, a mix of adrenaline and rage, as I tried to steady myself. The memory of their actions, Lowen’s threats, and the ease August had with killing them when I was being threatened. The conflict churned in my chest, the guilt clashing with the grim triumph, leaving me breathless and hollow.
I cursed under my breath as I plunged the shovel into the soil, the cold metal slicing through the hardened ground with a dull crunch. Each push sent vibrations up my arms, and the dirt clung stubbornly to the blade, forcing me to stomp on it with my foot to drive it deeper. The motion was mechanical, a futile attempt to silence the whirlwind of thoughts raging in my mind.
“Are you upset that I killed your lover?” His tone was casual, almost bored, though his eyes glinted with something darker. “He didn’t seem like a very nice person.”
I glared at him, my frustration bubbling over as I swiped the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand. The hours of digging had left my arms aching, the shovel slicing into the cold, unyielding earth as I worked to create a hole deep enough to keep scavengers at bay. Meanwhile, August stood there, perfectly still, his sharp eyes watching my every move with an infuriating air of detachment.
“I do not need you saving me. I can handle myself.” My voice was sharp, but I hated how unconvincing it sounded, even to my own ears.
“Oh, I’m well aware, but I didn’t want you to get your pretty dress dirty.” His eyes swept over me, lingering just long enough to make my skin prickle. “Though you still managed to ruin it.”
I glanced down and grimaced at the dirt smeared across the fabric. A pang of irritation surged through me—not at the dress, but at him for noticing.
I pressed the shovel into the ground again, hoping to mask my unease.
“It’s nearing sundown. You could have left the bodies and made it look like a vampire did it. ”
“A vampire did do it,” I mumbled, but I kept my eyes on the task, focusing on the rhythm of digging. The earth was heavy, resistant, but at least it didn’t talk back.
He laughed before stepping down into the hole with me, his presence invasive and too close. Before I could react, he yanked the shovel from my hands and tossed it aside with effortless force.
“Do not pretend you are sad,” he said, his voice cutting through the tension like a blade. “I saw your face when I killed him, remember? You may not have realized it, or maybe you don’t want to admit it to yourself, but you smiled. Just like the victory that covered your face with the Legion soldiers. You’ve spent a week trying to guilt yourself into feeling bad for what you did. And yet you feel nothing, no matter how much you try to deny it. You’re just as sick and twisted as I am.”
His words landed like blows, each one hitting harder than the last. I bent down, grabbing the shovel with trembling hands, my anger flaring hotter than before.
“Is this what you wanted? To make me just like you?” My voice cracked, but the fury behind it didn’t waver.
“Oh no,” he said, his smirk deepening. “You do not get to blame this on me. You’ve been this way. Do you remember how we met? With your little ways of killing? Wanting to watch a vampire burn alive?” He stepped closer and gripped my throat with his hand, pulling my face closer to his. “I just want you to admit it to yourself. We’re no different from each other.”
The words pushed me past the breaking point. My grip tightened around the shovel as I swung it with everything I had, the motion fueled by equal parts rage and desperation. The metal edge connected with his side, eliciting a low grunt from him as he staggered slightly but didn’t release me.
His grip on my neck only tightened, his darkened eyes burning into mine with an intensity that made my stomach twist. “Admit it,” he hissed, his voice laced with equal parts menace and challenge.
My breath came in shallow gasps as I dropped the shovel, my hands flying to his arm. Summoning the magic I needed, I pulled sharply. The force of it wrenched a startled growl from his throat, and he released me instantly. I hated him in that moment. Hated the way he could read me so easily, the way his words twisted inside my mind like barbed wire. But more than that, I hated how much I still wanted him. The thought struck like a lightning bolt, and before I could stop myself, I closed the space between us and kissed him.
I was just as sick and twisted as he was.
I shoved him back, putting as much distance between us as I could manage. “Either help me, or get out of my way,” I spat, my voice trembling with anger.
He tilted his head slightly, the smile on his face fading as he glanced around the clearing. His nose wrinkled slightly, as though weighing his options and finding them all distasteful, before finally stepping out of the hole with ease.
I rolled my eyes, the tension in my chest easing just enough to let me take a steadying breath.