Chapter 20
Twenty
Andie
“This was a terrible idea,” Noah grumbles in the passenger seat, pulling on his cap, as I park his car in the lot.
I roll my eyes at him. He’s a grumpy goalie, but sometimes he can be a dramatic princess. “Oh, shut up, dude.”
His eyes widen at me, looking perplexed. “Did you…Did you just call me a dude?” He points to his chest as if it’s the end of the world.
I turn the ignition off and swivel to him, resting my forearm on the steering wheel to look at him. “Yes, dude. Are you hard of hearing? Want me to repeat that for you?” I roll my eyes as far back as I can, a smirk on my face.
I’m thoroughly enjoying this!
Noah grinds his teeth, totally done with my antics. “Don’t be a brat,” he grunts, and that just makes me wanna do it more, and so I roll my eyes again, this time rather dramatically.
His hand reaches out, and he pulls me by my throat, stalling my breath as it gets caught right under his palm.
“I can find a better reason for your eyes to roll that far back, Rainbow,” he whispers, his warm breath skating over my parted lips as a gasp makes its way out.
Cheesy cracker on a sundae!
Not a single word comes out of my mouth as his hovers so close to mine. If either one of us were to lean in just a tiny bit, our lips would touch. My gaze darts between his eyes and lips as does his.
When I’m sure I’m gonna die of waiting, Noah pulls back, his lips lifting in a satisfied smirk. “Breathe, Andie. Or do you need me to teach you how?” he gloats, opening the car door to get out. A gasp falls out of my lips, this time at his conniving scheme.
He shuts the door, his playful chuckle floating in the car. The sound alone brings a smile to my face.
I like it.
And I’m beginning to believe it’s more than just his laughter I like.
He opens my door, extending his hand, and I take it as I climb out of the car. Then he directs me to stay put, grabs the picnic basket I prepared, and we head over to Nantasket Beach.
Suddenly, I feel a foreign touch on my skin.
My senses go on alert, the hair at the back of my neck standing on end. My eyes scan the parking area, searching for the one who’s looking at us.
Are we being followed?
Is it because of Noah? He’s a famous figure, so it wouldn’t be surprising.
Or am I just being paranoid?
Yeah, that’s probably it.
I’m too lost in my mind that my heart trips over when Noah reaches out to grab my hand with his free one, loving the way my hand fits in his rough one, as if it was made for me.
Stop deluding yourself, my mind whispers, and a little bit of my smile falls.
Focusing on our destination and the reason I brought him here, I help him spread the blanket on the fine gray sand, a little farther away from prying eyes, before we both sit down.
This beach is about forty-five minutes outside the city limits, so no issue of someone catching us together. After the last game, I thought I should bring him here so he can let go of the stress of the playoffs he holds so tight in his broad shoulders.
We both stay quiet and dig into the food I prepared.
I look at the scenic view and take a deep breath of the Atlantic air. The people and families mill about: playing in the sand, the children making forts, and couples spending quality time together.
Most people are wearing full clothes since it’s only May, and it can get cold here. But some women are wearing sexy bikinis, showing off their perfect figures. They look stunning.
My chest aches when I think of Noah. He can easily have that. Why would he ever want someone like me? Someone who can’t even confidently wear a bikini in public.
I envy the ease with which these women own their bodies. It isn’t just the lean women; curvy women are confident all the time, commanding attention and respect from everyone around them.
It’s just not me.
I know I’m seeing Nancy for it, but it’s gonna take time for me to be the woman who wears a bikini on a beach and doesn’t shy away. I don’t mind, though. Recovery and therapy are not a uniform journey.
Noah’s voice pulls me out of my reverie. “Can I ask you a question?”
I turn to find his knees folded as his forearms rest on them, his cap turned backward now that there’s hardly anyone here as the day begins to settle.
God, he looks gorgeous like this, the soft rays falling on his face, highlighting his high cheekbones and deep green eyes.
“Go ahead,” I nod at him, pulling my feet closer as I sit cross-legged.
“Why don’t you ever curse? I’ve never heard you lay it into someone with words like that?”
The genuine curiosity on his face as he asks me this startles a surprised laugh out of me, my hand covering my mouth because I can’t control it.
Noah doesn’t appreciate that, as his brows settle into a frown, lips tight as he grunts at me. Though I spy the hidden tilt of his lips upward when I continue to chuckle.
Bringing him to the beach was a great idea, I think.
Once I’ve managed to calm down a bit, I clear my throat and reveal, “It’s stupid.
But I’m a teacher, and I enjoy teaching and shaping kids into better humans for tomorrow, being there to revel in their happiness when they learn something new.
” I heave a deep sigh, turning to look at the sun making the ocean shimmer, giving hope, easing worries.
Noah doesn’t interrupt me, and I continue, “I always want to be at my best for my students. Never let them take home something bad from me at the end of the day. And how the elders speak and converse has a huge impact on their impressionable minds, whether we like it or not. So, I try to be polite and well-spoken and to never slip up in front of them. I made it a habit to never curse out of school, either.”
Remembering my childhood, I chuckle, shaking my head at myself. “I had a foul mouth when I was a teenager, so it was quite an adjustment. But it was worth it.”
When Noah still doesn’t say a word, I swivel my head to look at him and see if he’s even listening.
He looks at me with something akin to admiration, or maybe I’m just fooling myself.
“It’s stupid,” I release another embarrassed chuckle, my fingers playing with a strand of my hair as I look away from him.
“Stop it.”
My hand pauses, and my eyes slightly widen at his gruff command, making me look back at him. My expression must say that I don’t know what he means.
“Stop downplaying and deprecating your efforts and consideration, Andie,” he elaborates, his hands fisting over his knees.
My cheeks flush with embarrassment and appreciation—I can’t decide on one feeling when he rebukes me with gentleness in his eyes. “Oh,” is all I say.
Noah takes a deep breath, holding back what he’s thinking.
But it seems like he gives up keeping them in.
“You’re smart, Andie. One of the smartest people I know.
But you’re so much more than just talented and smart,” he says, his knees dropping to the sides as he crosses them too, peering at the ocean.
He removes his cap, rakes a hand through his wavy hair, and turns to look at me. “You’re so kind and generous and effortless with everything you do, Andie. You flood the room with warmth when you walk in, lending silent strength to whoever might need it.”
No one has ever complimented me. Not like this man in front of me does. It’s like he can’t stand the thought of me not realizing my own worth.
His eyes glimmer with the ocean reflecting in them, as he takes a deep breath and bites the inside of his cheek. He again loses the battle of keeping quiet and says his next words in a rush.
“You’re gorgeous, Andie.” My lips part at his words, a gasp falling from them.
“You’re so fucking stunning that it hurts to look at you sometimes.
Because how the fuck do you not see yourself the way I do?
” His features contort like he’s in pain.
There’s no mistaking the ache, the desperation, the agony in his words.
I have no words to respond. Nothing that could compare to what he just said. All I can do is gawk at him, wonder how I cannot fall for him.
No one has called me pretty in a long time, let alone gorgeous or stunning. But the way he says it…it’s like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
His words burrow into my soul, reviving it, giving it false hope. Hope I know will shatter, but I’m just like the sand in front of me, drifting into the ocean without resistance, not caring where it might drop me.
I’m barely breathing, but my chest, my heart feels like it has run a mile.
Noah’s features harden, his jaw clenching. “You know the thoughts I have when I look at you?”
I shake my head because what else can I do as I hang onto his words like a lifeline?
“I…” he clears his throat, his eyes boring into mine.
I wonder when he got so close.
Noah’s eyes squeeze shut as he takes a deep breath before opening them. “When I look at you, I don’t want to look away,” he admits, his deep voice sending a shiver down my body.
Or is it the wind?
His eyes don’t miss that as they darken, heat burning in them like a live wire.
They flick to my mouth. “Your mouth…I have filthy thoughts about your mouth. Thoughts that would send you running for the hills, corrupt your innocent soul,” he says as if in trance, not once shifting his gaze from my lips.
My tongue darts out to wet them, making a vein feather in his neck as his jaw clenches. “Try me.”
His eyes flare like the fourth of July at my words. “Don’t taunt a man on the edge of a cliff, Rainbow,” he warns, his knuckles turning white.
“I remember my safe word,” I breathe, daring him to take me up on it. My body aches everywhere for him, as my wet folds close around nothing but my panties.
His head drops between his shoulders as he curses under his breath. “Jesus fucking christ! I’m going to hell for this,” he mutters to himself.
My body hums with excitement as I feel his resolve weaken.
He’s on his feet in a second, offering me his hand to take, his next words more of a growl.
“I’m going to show you exactly who I am, Rainbow.”