Chapter Eighteen
After placing an order for pizza and a quick cleanup, the trio retreated to the back patio with their food and a few beers. Trinity also grabbed a bottle of whiskey from Jackson’s bar and three shot glasses, which the men eyed warily.
“Haven’t you drank enough of the strong stuff tonight?”
“Don’t worry about me. I have an iron stomach, and I think we might need this for our discussion,” she said as she set it down on the patio table by the pool.
Jackson lit the fire pit, a large brick and stone circle that was near the pool, adding some heat to chase away the slight chill in the night air. They sat down and made quick work at devouring the two extra-large pizzas they’d ordered, all of them seeming to agree to stay on safer subjects while they ate.
When she’d had her fill of pizza, Trinity leaned back in her chair holding her beer. “I like your house, Jackson. At first, it wasn’t what I expected for you, but it’s peaceful here.”
Jackson shot Maxwell a look. He had wanted to bring this up, and now was the perfect opening. He just didn’t know how she would react. “I’m glad you said that, Kat, because I want you to move in.”
She froze with her bottle of beer at her lips, then she lowered it back to the table. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Jackson and I talked about this while you were busy with your friend earlier. You were attacked in my hotel. Even with the added security, I’m not willing to risk you,” Maxwell explained. “Neither of us are. Until we figure out exactly what is going on, I want you somewhere safe. If you are willing, both you and I will move in here with Jackson.”
She was quiet as she thought it over, and Jackson used that to push. “Hector used to be on the force with one of my dads. He’s retired now and watches over the property when I’m not here. Rosa and Maria also have sharp eyes and will tell us if they see anything out of the ordinary.”
She reached for the bottle of whiskey and poured three shot glasses, filling them half-full. “This is important to you?”
“Yes,” both men said immediately.
“Fine. Drink.”
They took the glasses but gave her confused looks as they all drank the shots. Trinity enjoyed the burn as it went down. The idea had come to her that this was the perfect way to loosen them up in order to hash out some of the details of their relationship. And with the amount of shit they had to talk about, she was glad she was only pouring half shots, or else they would all be puking in the morning.
“We have a lot to discuss, and these shots are a way of saying we’re all in agreement.”
“Can’t we just say it instead of drinking ourselves to death?” Maxwell asked.
“Where is the fun in that?”
Jackson raised a brow. “So, you want to make rules for our relationship?”
“More like guidelines so we don’t walk into a clusterfuck like we did earlier,” she clarified. As both men flinched, she waved a hand in the air while she used her other to pour another small shot into each of their glasses. “I’m not angry. At least, not anymore. I’m just still worried that I’m not the right woman for you.”
“Why do you say that?” Jackson asked.
Thinking back to the advice Nikita had given her earlier, Trinity decided to lay it all out there for them.
“Clearly both of you are alpha to the core, but so am I. I’m guessing both of you usually go for women you can bend to your will. I like kink as much as the next girl. Hell, I bet I’m even more adventurous than most, but the domination, control, and the set stages of seduction are just not my thing.”
She huffed out a breath as she tried to find the right way to say what she was feeling.
“I know we don’t know each other well yet, but there are some things I think we need to establish before we can move forward. I would end up hating myself and you if I felt forced to do something that went against who I am. And if I’m not able to provide what you want or need, that’s not fair to you either.”
“What do you mean, Trinity? I want you just as you are,” Maxwell swore.
“We both want you, Katrina,” Jackson said firmly. “I thought we made that clear.”
She sighed. “I know, but I’m still a little worried. I’m not exactly normal, so any relationship I have is going to be extra complicated. I need someone who will stand with me, not behind and not in front. But that’s pretty difficult considering what I do for a living. And I have triggers. More than most people. Part of that has to do with my past, but some of them are based on recent experiences. Like being in the dark. I never used to have a problem with that, but ever since that storage container…”
“After what you went through, that is completely understandable,” Maxwell said.
“What do you mean about your past?” Jackson asked.
“I never knew my dad and my mom chose the bottle over me. And growing up in foster care, I was never wanted. Sure, some of the places were better than others, but mostly I was just another mouth to feed. And then there was the last place where the couple had seemed nice, until I realized the husband wanted me a little too much.”
Both men went dangerously still.
“Did that fucker touch you?” Jackson growled.
Trinity shook her head. “He would have, but I ran away before he got a chance.”
Maxwell grabbed the bottle and poured the liquor until it was to the brim of his and Jackson’s glasses. Both men quickly drank down the shots.
“Don’t worry, the story gets better from here,” she assured. “I was twelve when I ran away, and a few months later, I tried to boost a car and got caught. Turns out it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I met Ben Cross, an agent for Homeland Security, and he and his wife adopted me. I finally had a home, but still, a little part of me was always waiting for them to change their minds and boot me out on the street again. My adoptive parents were great. They still are. Now that they’ve both retired they’re traveling the world together, so I don’t see them much.”
“You followed in his footsteps,” Jackson said, encouraging her to continue.
“I did, but my disdain for authority got me in trouble time and time again.” She laughed a little. “If you bothered to check my file at Homeland, I think I might still hold the record for the most reprimands. So, that’s why when the opportunity came with IAD, I jumped at it. The point I’m trying to make is I need someone who wants me…for me.”
“No bullshit,” Jackson said seriously. “I want you. Thinking about you walking out of here and leaving me is like…I can’t do it. I can’t lose you now that I’ve found you. I know that nothing about our relationship has been normal so far, but as you said, we aren’t normal. Make no mistake, I want you. Maybe I needed all that extra shit because I’ve never found a woman I cared about enough to be with before you.”
“But how can you be sure?”
“I know I’d do just about anything to keep you, Katrina.” Jackson’s green eyes burned into hers with conviction. “We’ll learn as we go. You can never plan how this will turn out, but I’m willing to try.”
Trinity closed her eyes, unsure what to do. She felt someone lift her chin and opened her eyes to stare into Maxwell’s brilliant blue. “I’m a dominant man, I admit that. But I’ve never really been into anything more than being commanding in bed. I’ve already told you, if you need me to work on dialing that back, then I will.”
“I just won’t listen to you,” she said with a sassy smile.
Maxwell chuckled before pressing his lips against hers in a light kiss. “That doesn’t surprise me. This isn’t something that we can solve in one night, but we understand you better now.” He glanced over at Jackson for confirmation, who nodded in return. “There are reasons for who you are and what you need. Just like each of us have reasons for who we are and what we need.”
“But that’s the thing. Sometimes chemistry isn’t enough,” she said. “If what you need isn’t something I—”
“What I need is you, Trinity. It’s as simple as that,” Maxwell promised.
“Me, too. We can make this work,” Jackson insisted. “Are you willing to try, Katrina? Just like you need us to respect what you need, I need you to be open and honest and not run when I do something you don’t like. I’d rather you fight with me instead of walking away.”
“I can try,” she agreed.
“That’s all we can ask,” Maxwell said, refilling all of their shot glasses.
She raised it, and they tapped glasses. “Looks like we’re all in. God help you guys because I have a feeling I’m going to drive you crazy.”
“Baby, you already do.”