Chapter 10 Elijah
ELIJAH
The toll of the last twenty-four hours is starting to show.
My mind is lost somewhere along the timeline between yesterday morning’s practice and the present.
Being mindless feels good. It’s liberating, and for once, I’m not cowering between the stringent lines that keep me in check, breathing, functioning.
This feels a lot like living, and the little taste has me addicted. The color, the air, the buzz burning through my veins…
I never imagined it would feel like this to let go. To stop running. The world feels different—better—when I’m not being chased down and hunted by my own fears.
That doesn’t mean I’m not terrified of where this path is leading. Like when my mother texted earlier.
Straight to hell.
It took me a minute to work through it before I realized: hell is exactly where I’ve lived the last seven years.
Hell is where that night left me. And where I am now feels a lot like my kingdom has finally come.
I sit up in the light leather seat and listen to Lex run through the damage control he’s put in place. With the aftershock of my migraine diagnosis still shadowing us, he’s determined to take the brunt of the publicity.
So when he showed up at the hotel with Taylor after Finley and Christina, I wasn’t surprised he’d already arranged with Coach and the team to keep a low profile and fly us to Miami on his jet.
“Look,” he says with a long sigh. “Fake news comes and goes, and the team has a handle on it now.”
“You mentioned my sponsorships. The Prayer app and The Christian Children’s Society…”
“When a door closes, a window opens. They weren’t your largest sponsors, and The Prayer app especially wasn’t something you wanted to be the face of long term, right?”
“Right.”
“Personally, I think distancing yourself from the religious context isn’t a bad thing,” Taylor says. “I think you need to give yourself room to grow and explore without the fear of letting people down.”
“What does that mean?” I focus on the glossy chestnut grain of the table.
“It means the three of you need to figure out what you are to each other. What you’re doing…
” Lex laces his fingers in my line of sight, as if I need reminding he’s here.
“A buddy and I had lunch a while back. He’s got Hollywood clients.
He said one of them is seeing two people at the same time. He called them a throuple.”
I glance up. He shrugs like this is the most natural conversation in the world—maybe it is. He touched on it at the hospital.
“The guy was blown away by how normal it was to navigate. He said it felt easier than the cheating scandals and high-profile divorces.”
“Okay…?”
“This ridiculous article came at a good time. Maybe a crossroads for you, and you get to choose which path to follow.”
We’re not a path to manage. Jayden, Finley, and I aren’t a strategy or a brand pivot. We’re us.
“First of all,” Lex says, “we address the article. We’ll prepare a statement and record it, so you can personally deliver it on your social platforms.”
“Didn’t you say it’s fake news?” I glance down the aisle to the entertainment couch where Jayden and Finley are asleep—her head on his shoulder, his head on hers—Christina using Fin’s thigh as a pillow.
They look peaceful, perfect. A knot forms in my chest at the idea of making any statement that throws shadow over us.
It feels like I’d be retreating on all the steps I’ve made. Like Connie keeps telling me: Don’t let the bastards grind you down. I’ve allowed it for too long, and I’m not willing to do it anymore. Not in the name of God. Not because I’m scared. Not because of shame.
“Eli, you can’t stay silent and wait for the wave to pull back, because it’ll drag you down, and you will drown,” Lex says, hands steepled.
Glancing at Taylor beside me, I look to him for advice. Lex is paid to look after the best interests of my career, but Taylor is the only true father figure I’ve had. He cares about me.
“I stand by what I’ve always told you, Son—you are your own person, and this is your life.
Do not let anything, especially not fear, or anyone dictate it for you.
” He leans to the side, peering down the aisle, lips puckering like he’s choosing words carefully.
Then he settles back and pins me with a steady gaze.
“Life can be one of two things. A maze or a labyrinth. You can get lost in all the different paths taking you in every direction and hit dead end after dead end. Live frustrated, in fear, and alone. Or… you can keep going forward, follow your path, and find yourself, your happiness… your people.”
His eyes flick toward Jayden and Finley. Loud and clear. No judgment.
“It’s your choice, Eli.”
I nod, let it sink in.
Seven years ago, my choice was stolen from me, and I’ve never taken it back. I caged myself so no one else would. Maybe it’s time to unlock the door. Maybe this is the moment I show up for me.
I inhale. “I can’t make that statement.”
Fuck. My heart stops. Then restarts with a steadier, quiet surety I’ve never held.
It’s going to be okay, even if it hurts first.
“What statement do you want to make?” Lex asks, swirling his coffee, eyes narrowing—not hostile, just calculating.
The first time I met Lex Zimmerman, I knew the deal.
He was a ruthless, no-bullshit man. There was no expensive booze, no flashy lunch—just a simple meeting in his boardroom where he told me what he’d do for me, how he’d do it, and gave me a list of rules I’d follow if I wanted him.
He’s never let me down. He shows up beyond the contract, and I owe him clarity in return.
“Can I have a moment?” I stand when he nods. “I need to talk to Jayden and Finley.”
“Sure.”
He opens his laptop. I shove past the noise in my skull and drift to the couch.
I brush my thumb along Jayden’s lightly stubbled jaw. “Hey, Sunshine.”
A shiver ripples down my spine when he smiles against my skin.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he mumbles, sleep-rough, his palm flattening on my stomach. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”
“You should be resting every chance you get.” I take his hand. “I need to talk to you.”
“Fuck, what’s happened? What’s wrong?” The instant worry sharpens his features.
“Nothing’s wrong, JJ.” Maybe not strictly true, but I feel oddly at peace with myself in spite of all the chaos around us. I know what I have to do right now, which is more than I’ve been sure of in years. “I just need to talk to you and Fin. You first.”
His fingers curl around mine as he gently shifts Finley’s head to the cushion. He eases up, and I guide him toward the small lounge by the bathroom and luggage alcove. The angle gives us privacy without a door.
“What’s going on?”
“Lex wants me to make a statement on my social media.”
He nods, tucking his hands into the back pockets of his chinos, bending a fraction for headroom. “When was the last time you posted to your socials?”
Never. “Lex has a PR person who does it.”
“Exactly. Your socials are the most impersonal feeds. Even Dylan posts personal shit with Lily and her kittens and his sunrise runs. Yours are just endorsements. So why suddenly make a personal statement?” His eyes widen, shoulders hunching.
I didn’t expect this reaction. “Why are you mad?”
“Because…” He scrubs his face, rough enough that I wince. “Fuck, Eli, this isn’t about your career. It’s not about hockey or the court of public opinion. This is about us. You, me, and Fin.”
“I know, and if you’d let me get a word in, you’d know I don’t want to put out a statement.”
His mouth twitches, sheepish. I step in, take his hands, and thread our fingers. God, I love this. The contact. The closeness.
“What I want is to figure out what this is and what we’re doing, because I need to tell Lex where I’m at. I need him to understand that whatever is said cannot undermine our future.”
“You don’t need to justify yourself to the fucking world,” he says, stepping into me.
“I never announced my sexuality to the world. I did me and let it catch on. The people who matter know who I am, and that’s all I care about.
” He rests his forehead on mine with a sigh.
“The world doesn’t get this part of you or me.
It doesn’t get a say in what we do. It sure as fuck doesn’t get to judge us. ”
“I can’t fly by the seat of my pants, JJ. I need an idea of what’s coming so I can make a plan and protect you and Finley and—”
“Sweetheart, you can’t see the future and you can’t protect us from it.”
I know. But I also know I have to protect me enough to be the man they deserve.
“Can’t we take it one day at a time? Screw the world and what it thinks…” He brings our hands up, sets mine on his chest, and cups my face. “I only care about you and Fin. I only want you and Fin. The rest is either a bonus or background noise.”
I slide my hands up to his shoulders. “So what is this? What are you doing?”
Color rushes his cheeks, boyish and perfect. A grin tugs at my mouth as his hazel eyes trace my face like a map.
“Well, you did call me your boyfriend…” His voice softens, playful. “I mean, I kinda really fucking liked that.”
Heat blooms up my neck. My insides swoop when his thumbs graze my lip and our bodies align.
“I want to kiss you,” he groans over my mouth, the tip of his nose brushing mine.
I stroke up his throat, rake my thumbnails along his jaw. The scrape of his stubble sends a bright shock up my arms.
“So fucking bad,” he murmurs, ghosting my lips.
“Me, too,” I whisper, breathless.
“But we can’t,” he whines, fingers pushing into my hair, like he might do it anyway.
He doesn’t. We both know we can’t. “Not until we talk to Fin.”
“Talk to me about what?”
Jayden and I both turn to find Finley standing in the opening to the lounge. Her eyes are stuck on us with wonder rather than surprise. I don’t know what happens in the few seconds we’re silent, but her face falls and her posture sags.