Chapter 55 Finley
FINLEY
Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
My heart is pounding when I turn the corner back to the building. My stomach bubbles with a mixture of nerves and excitement.
I think I did okay.
I did, I keep telling myself as I park the car and kill the engine. I want to fall back into the seat of the Ford Puma and let out a sigh of relief.
After my panic attack this morning, I wasn’t expecting to keep my cool when we hit the freeway at peak time. L.A. drivers are aggressive. Every time I get in a car, it feels like I’m taking my life in my hands, even with a seasoned instructor in the back—the best, according to Jayden’s momma.
“Okay, Miss Tomes,” the examiner croons, scribbling on his clipboard again.
I can’t help but shiver when he uses my surname, and he notices because he swivels slightly, leveling me with a sorry smile. When he exchanges a look with my instructor, I’m certain I’ve failed even though I’m pretty sure I did everything right.
“Well done,” the examiner finally tells me with a big grin.
He’s a big, burly man—the kind that would fit in the new show JJ and I are binging.
Sons of something or another; I haven’t paid much mind because it’s not for me.
I don’t think JJ likes it all that much, either, because it’s sort of background noise while he and Eli go through game tapes obsessively, and I keep on top of work, and my never-ending reading list.
“Well done?” I ask as he holds up the paper that says I’ve passed. “I did it?”
My emotions get the better of me in an instant. Since Eli told me what Presley and Ryker did to him, it’s like I’m surviving on my hyper-emotions. Jayden made a remark about me going through the seven stages of grief; I suppose he’s right.
I’ve felt it all—shock, pain, guilt, anger, the what-ifs, the awful sadness that made it hard to breathe and even harder to get out of my head—and now I’m at a place where I’ve accepted what I can and can’t change. What I could and couldn’t do.
I’m in awe of Eli and of how strong and resilient he is. And loving that beautiful man means supporting him however he needs.
Feeding his gorgeous smile. Relishing every touch. Because in spite of this dark cloud, we are happy together.
We’re a real family—Eli, Jayden, and me—the kind we talked about being when we planned all versions of our getaway under our tree.
Every time I see them, I can’t resist the urge to run to them like I am now.
The nerves have dissipated, and I’m high with excitement when I launch myself at them.
“I did it,” I squeal, latching my arms around both of them when they catch me.
My hand is fisting the interim license tight as Jayden sing-songs about how he knew I would do it, meanwhile Eli chuckles at him quietly, one of his hands stroking my hair.
“This calls for a celebration,” JJ croons, crouching to set me on my feet with a playful peck to my lips.
“I can’t believe it, I swear to God that I thought I failed. The examiner was giving me this sorry smile and—”
“It’s their job to make you sweat.” Jayden laces our hands together while Eli heads for his G-Wagon.
“Yeah, I guess so. Speaking of sweating,” I venture while jumping into the front passenger seat. “Have you heard anything from Parker?”
I’ve made a point of not asking Summer. She doesn’t need any more pressure or stress with how busy we are and how heavily pregnant she is.
“Not yet. He said it could take a while depending on how busy his friend is and the security infrastructure of the system being hacked.”
“What does it matter?” Jayden grumbles, threading my braid through the gap between the seat and headrest. “We know the prick did it.”
“Knowing it on a feeling and knowing it because it’s black-and-white proof are two different things,” Eli says. “And he had the gall to tell me to prove it.”
“Lex and Dad are on it. They’ll find something soon enough. Something we can legally use to nail the bastard.”
“They will, and we said we wouldn’t talk about any of this today.” Eli gives my thigh a squeeze. “We’re meant to be celebrating.”
Jayden tugs playfully on my braid as he asks, “You want to go grab lunch at the mall?”
Mulling his question over, I ogle the license in my hand. Focusing my energy back on the giddy feeling in my chest. I’m proud of myself. It’s nice to have something positive to fixate on, an achievement.
“We could go to the grocery store, grab some snacks, and picnic in the indoor garden,” I give him a better idea that won’t have us eating lunch as fast as we can, so we don’t attract the attention of the reporters and photographers.
The other day, there were two outside the office when Jayden picked me up. It was late, and the flash of their cameras was so jarring that I jumped with every snap. It feels weird how, instead of losing interest, they seem to be more eager for a piece of us.
“That works out great,” Jayden says with an excitable whoop.
“Good God, man, keep your cool.” Eli gives him a look in the rearview mirror as we pull into the Whole Foods close to our place.
The two of them have been acting shifty all morning. They never pick me up out front of our building; they always drive into the garage. Not today.
Usually, after training, the two of them spend the rest of the day in shorts and team t-shirts because they literally live and breathe Comets hockey all day, every day during the season.
I’m not sure why they have so many clothes, given they’re always in team gear.
Except today, they showed up in normal clothes.
All cleaned up. Freshly shaven, smelling like a walking commercial for sex in a bottle.
Then I freaked out, almost jumped out of Eli’s car and…
“What’s up? Why’re you all quiet?” Jayden asks, each of his hands gripping the cart on either side of mine.
Canting my head to the side, I glance up at him, giving him my best what-are-you-up-to stare. “You’re being weird.”
“He’s always weird,” Eli sighs, grabbing the largest pot of his favorite hummus. “It’s weird you’ve just noticed that he’s weird.”
“Yup, something is up,” is all I have to say before Jayden blurts, “Maybe we have a surprise for you.”
“Jesus, Jayden, what happened to the big hurrah when we get home?” Eli throws a double-tipped carrot at him.
JJ catches it with a smirk, holding it up between us. “Are you trying to imply a different kind of surprise, Sweetheart? Is this code for playtime?”
Of course, being this giddy from passing my driving test means I burst out into a full-blown cackle that has the other shoppers staring at us faster than JJ’s slap shot.
“Sorry,” I whisper, quickly navigating us out of the produce aisle, straight to the bakery section.
Picking me up, Jayden sits me on the large crate of water Eli puts in the cart when we’re done in the bread section. The man is like an excitable kid on a sugar high as he races us around the store, making all kinds of car noises.
“What the hell has gotten into you?”
“Must’ve hit his head when I wasn’t looking,” Eli retorts, slapping his face with the celery bunch.
“Did you?” The worry is real. It’s always there because I’ve seen how rough these guys go at it.
I’m running my hands through JJ’s coarse hair, checking for any lumps when Eli murmurs into my ear, “I was joking, Angel. But he has hit it enough times that there could be a screw or two loose.”
“What about you? What’s your excuse?” Cupping his face with one hand, I take a moment to lose myself in his dark stare.
It’s my way of making sure he’s as okay as he’s making out. I don’t care how dark his eyes are, or that it’s hard to see the shift in them. I know the different depths of his gaze.
Right now, I see nothing but the endless affection he showers JJ and me with.
“I’m happy,” he murmurs back with a gentle peck to the tip of my nose. “And I’m proud of you.”
“I’m happy,” I whisper back. “And proud of me, too.”
“Okay, let’s Supermarket Sweep this shit and head the fuck out before we get more of an audience,” Jayden croons, navigating us toward the deli.
It’s obvious that we’re buzzing off each other’s moods. I can’t keep a straight face, and neither can they. The only way to stop ourselves from causing a ruckus is to grab what we need and get out of here before we draw more attention to ourselves.
***
“Are you sure about this?” I clutch Eli’s keys in my hand while he holds the driver’s door open for me. “I don’t want to wreck your car.”
“You won’t. The whole point of you getting your license is so you can drive, right?” I nod, and he ushers me into the seat with his hand at my back. “So drive.”
Is it weird that I’m more nervous to drive them home than I was taking the practical test with the examiner staring at me the whole time?
“Take your time,” Jayden says from the back seat while Eli rounds the front to the passenger seat beside me. “Check that the mirrors are where you need them. Adjust the seat and the wheel so you’re comfortable and—”
“JJ, our girl’s got this. You’re good, Fin.” Eli changes the music on the stereo to my favorite upbeat playlist while I go through the checklist in my head and make myself comfortable.
My heart is pounding harder than the beat of the dance track when I turn the engine on and the whole vehicle comes to life around me. It’s a beast. A brute rumbling beneath me as I slowly edge out of the parking space and leave the store parking lot.
It takes me a moment to adjust to the power of the engine; the insane pull of it with the slightest nudge of the accelerator. The braking is what takes me the longest to get a handle on. I barely press the pedal, and it slams to a stop.
“I think this might be too much car for me,” I say when I turn into the gates of our building.
The relief I feel at being home in one piece is immeasurable as I sink into the buttery-soft leather with a sigh while we wait for the gates to let us in.
“It’s sturdy and safe,” Eli says with a gentle caress to my thigh. “Exactly what you need.”
“I don’t know, I liked the Puma. It was quaint and—”