Chapter 59 Finley
FINLEY
It’s still dark out, and I know I should be asleep.
But the bed isn’t as warm since JJ and Eli got up at four-thirty.
I’m naked, and my body already misses theirs.
Not to mention the house smells like nice coffee—the sweet, milky kind Jayden makes with his fancy machine.
I swear I can feel the caffeine zing through my veins with every deep inhale.
Even though I’m sore from last night, I roll out of bed and slip on Jayden’s shirt before padding toward the kitchen.
All the lights are off except for the trim glow under the cabinets and island. Perfectly accentuating Jayden’s athletic physique. Shadow and light carving every line.
My good lord, he’s a sight. Hair still ruffled, sleep puffing his face, and I can’t resist cuddling up to him while he finishes his oatmeal. With my cheek pressed to his back, I listen to the slow, steady drum of his heart. His skin is so warm I refuse to let go when he turns in my arms.
“You should still be in bed,” he says, wrapping his arms around me. “Sound asleep and too tired to move.”
“Were you going to leave without waking me up?” I ask when he kisses the top of my head.
“Of course not. We weren’t going to wake you up until we were heading out the door.”
I coil tighter around him, ignoring the sharp pang his reminder brings. It’s always worse when the mention of leaving comes from him and Eli.
Speaking of… “Where’s Eli?”
“Walking Samson and Bee so you can have a lay-in and rest this hot body.” JJ punctuates his statement with a playful thwack to my ass.
Big hands grip both cheeks, hoisting me up his body before carrying me back to the bedroom.
As he lowers me to the bed, I lock my ankles at the top of his ass and pull him down with me. The full weight of him pressing me into the mattress.
He doesn’t move. Just fits his face to my neck and melts with a sigh.
“I’ve missed this,” Jayden murmurs, nuzzling deeper with a tender kiss. “Need to be better about making time just to cuddle.”
“We cuddle all the time, Hotshot,” I say, though I know what he means.
Since the night Eli told me about Presley and Ryker, we’ve been keeping busy. I’ve been avoiding being too still, so I don’t think about the conversation. And it’s thrown us off our natural rhythm.
“I’m sorry I got in my head for so long,” I whisper when he shifts to look at me.
I hold him there instead, and he flips onto his back, taking me along. Hazel eyes lock on mine, and my heart twinges at the wistful set of his mouth.
“JJ…”
“I get it, Fin.”
Fuck. Guilt twists my stomach. I’ve hurt him.
“I didn’t want to put all the crap in my head on you. You dealt with it so gracefully and—”
“That’s not true, Finley. I dealt with it how I had to because, aside from Eli, I couldn’t talk to anyone else about it.” He swallows. “But you can talk to me like you always have. I want you to talk to me.”
“It’s not that simple, Jayden. I don’t know what to say or how to say it. Every time I’ve tried, the same bullshit comes out, and it’s wrong because this isn’t about me. It’s about Eli and—”
“Wrong,” he says, firm and quiet. “If it wasn’t about you.
If it shouldn’t affect you, Eli would’ve told you sooner.
The thing is, as terrible as it sounds, it is about us.
How could it not be when he is a part of us?
He hurts, we hurt.” His warm palm cups my face.
“Hurting for another person is literally the opposite of selfish. Hurting for someone you love is the antithesis of wrong. And it makes me love you more.”
A faint smile quivers on his lips as they skim mine. There’s no tongue or teeth, just the tender brush of his shaky breaths whispering all the words our emotions ball in our throats.
My hands slide up from his chest to his unruly hair, and I still can’t quite catch my breath when his mouth wanders and his hand pauses over my thudding heart. He sits up, bringing us chest to chest.
“You’re never alone, Fin. I’m always here to carry you no matter what.”
“I know,” I manage through the prickle in my throat and eyes.
“Especially if it’s crappy thoughts.” I swallow at the earnest rasp of his words. “But so we’re clear, there isn’t a single part of you that’s crappy to me. I love you. All of you. All your imperfections, all your faults, and all that’s in between. They mean everything to me.”
“Jayden, I…” He silences me with his kiss.
Nothing like the one we shared moments ago. It’s all tongue and teeth. Tenderly volatile in its urgency and desperation. Its softness is graveled by our breaths and the rudimentary necessity of our bodies to be closer. To feel each other’s warmth and satiate the desire to hold and possess.
“You are everything to me,” he whispers against my swollen lips, hands cradling my face so tight I feel his pulse in my jaw. “Without you, half of my world is missing. I’m unhinged, and there is no axis that will hold me. Do you get that?”
I don’t get a chance to reply as he maneuvers me onto my back without warning. His body pins me beneath him.
“And I miss this. I miss us.” He punctuates each statement with a kiss, and nip, and a lick to my bottom lip. “I miss you, Baby.”
“I love you,” I whisper, tilting my face up to his.
Without another breath, Jayden kisses me again. Tongue licking into my mouth as his hands grip my hips. His groin slots into mine the instant I push his underwear over his ass, freeing his erection.
The heat of my body chases after his. Every grind. Every teasing thrust of his length through my slick flesh. Our bodies rut in slow desperation until his girth finds my entrance and he sinks inside me with one purposeful thrust.
“Fuck, this pussy is heaven,” Jayden groans into my mouth when I whimper at his intrusion.
I’m sore from last night, and it only makes me more sensitive to every stroke of his erection. I feel every inch of him stretch my walls the same way his words have my heart.
“I can’t breathe without this, Fin. I can’t… I…” The words dissolve into a long moan as he pours all the unsaids into our kiss.
With every rake of my nails along his back, he spears me deeper and harder with his perfect cock.
My body is vibrating with every ounce of affection he worships me with. “Jayden… Honey…”
I hitch my thighs over his hips, opening all of myself up for him while I hook my feet together over his ass, keeping him deep inside me.
When he braces himself over me, stare holding mine, I come apart.
“My fucking world,” Jayden grunts with a slam of his hips into mine.
Sweet, intoxicating pain tears through me. Breaking me apart. Starting in my chest with my tears tracking down my temples, all the way down my body. A million butterflies spark to life in my belly, and I’m floating.
Soaring and falling all at once.
Falling harder and faster with every relentless thrust. Because…
“Serendipity,” I choke with every wrack and shake of my body beneath his while he pistons into me, taking me higher and higher.
Chasing the light… the sun…
“Seren-fucking-dipity.” Jayden growls into my mouth with one last thrust before he comes undone.
His body convulsing with mine when he collapses over me. Ragged breaths blustering into my hair with a slew of endless kisses.
Every spurt of his release scorches through me like pure fucking sunshine coating every inch of me.
Singeing every last part of my soul. Until there is no me without him.
***
The sunset is beautiful from up here—the ocean to one side and the expansive golf club to the other. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been winding down my days with a hike.
The quiet centers me, and Blanca loves the climb. We park at the lot, trek thirty minutes to her favorite viewpoint, rest, then head back down.
With the Comets’ game tonight, Samson is with us. I’m grateful for the extra distraction, because unlike sweet Bee, he’s a menace out here.
“Samson Broussard, I’m going to take you straight home on your own if you don’t come back here now!” He gives me a skeptical, goofy look. “Don’t look at me like that. I mean it today.”
I swear Blanca is sniggering behind me. Samson peers past my legs, tongue lolling, then zooms by. He only stops when she wraps a lap around a tree trunk. Apparently, he’s not dumb enough to try that trick.
“If you don’t listen to me out here, I’m not bringing you anymore,” I tell him, clipping his lead to his brace.
All idle threats, and he knows it.
This is the highlight of my day when the guys are on the road. Game days run super late, which means they won’t be home until after midnight.
The pups and I pile into the car and head home. By the time we pull in, Samson is snoring, and Blanca looks unimpressed with his antics. The radio commentary is still on, and I just about catch Andersen’s goal as I unload the pups. It takes a bite out of my nerves for the elevator ride.
Before going up to the apartment, I grab the mail at the front desk.
“Good evening, Miss Finley,” the concierge says, mail already in hand. “This is everything for today.”
“Thank you, Alfred,” I tell him while he fusses over the pups, doling out dog cookies before I head for the elevators again with a “Good night.”
“Good night, Miss. Oh, and enjoy your evening with your visitor.”
My visitor?
I pause, turning to look at him as he adds, “I sent her up just before you arrived.”
Her.
I relax, checking my phone for a text from Christina. She hasn’t been herself the last few days, and when I offered to cook her dinner, her decline was instant.
I may not make every home game, but I watch each one—or listen on the radio. Chill isn’t in my vocabulary when my guys are on the ice. I live every second with them. Feel every hit...
Which is why Christina didn’t want to come over tonight. Things between her and Matheo are a mess. She’s made it that way with her fear of opening up to him. Although I can’t blame her, it’s hard for me to see her pine after him and him after her.
I’m glad she changed her mind about tonight. Maybe we can spend the rest of the evening watching a movie and drowning her sorrows in ice cream… while I keep a close eye on my notifications.
“She was a little worse for wear, so if you need anything, give me a buzz.” His apologetic smile kicks my pace up as the doors open.
Blanca and Samson follow without fuss. They’re as antsy as I am the whole way up. A nagging pinch in my gut warns that what waits on the other side won’t be nice.
And the instant the doors ping open, my heart crashes to my feet.
“Finley… Help me… Please…”