Chapter 65
ELI
The locker room is chaotic. Part celebration and part what the fuck just happened?
Jayden’s match penalty seconds before the end buzzer has turned the victory over the Wolves sour. Mostly because of the somber atmosphere that was already surrounding us.
The boos when he skated off, storming straight to the locker room with our assistant coach hot on his heels, filled the arena.
We knew this game was going to kill us for a myriad of reasons. Nonetheless, there’s an air of holy shit surrounding the team as we shower and change in silence. JJ’s still with Coach, which has my anxiety at an all-time high.
A game misconduct doesn’t just look bad on his record. Right now, it’s another point for the hockey press to drag him over the coals for.
“Fuck,” Rio curses beside me, shoving his kit bag back into his cubby as the room falls silent. “This is bad.”
Jayden’s already suited and booted when he drops onto his bench. He doesn’t look at me. Doesn’t say a single word. He doesn’t get a chance to before Coach starts taking us all out to task.
“It’s shameful, disrespectful…” he growls, ending his reprimand with a shake of his head.
“Each one of you involved in tonight’s brawl will make a public apology for the insensitivity you showed tonight.
And hopefully, it’s enough to appease The Wolves’ fans and players that were present to pay their respects to Cavanaugh. ”
Coach is out of the dressing room the instant he’s done, taking Dylan and Jayden back out with him for the press conference.
Meanwhile, the locker room opens for the reporters looking for one-on-one interviews.
The PR staff are ready and listening to diffuse any murky strings of conversation.
It should make the process easier and safer; however, a lot of the time, it feels like they’re just another set of ears waiting for us to trip up.
Even so, I take myself as close as I can to Cecilia. She’s quiet and sweet, but can handle the press no problem.
The reporter interviewing me starts off with a few harmless questions. All play-related, which is really an opportunity for me to iterate on how the Wolves’ players brought their A-game tonight.
“Without their tenacity and hunger for a win, the game would not have been as fast-paced and thrilling as it was. The Wolves are always a great team to play and—”
“You would know, having worn the jersey,” the reporter cuts in.
“Yes, this is where I started my career. I’ve played with most of these guys and—”
“Including Presley Tomes. You’re from the same town, played together in the junior league, and his sister is your—”
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Cece edges in quickly, “but there are only a few minutes left here, and there are a couple of other press members who want to interview Eli.”
Before the reporter has a chance to go down the same road of questioning, I say, “The Wolves will always have a special place in my life. Tonight was a hard game. Not only because of the game they brought, but also because there was a missing part of their team.”
Dragging in a deep breath, I attempt to settle my nerves. My hands are shaking as I shove them in my pockets and clear my throat.
“Casey Cavanaugh was a standout figure in the organization and in the sport. Throughout the years we played together, there isn’t a single moment where he wasn’t the life and soul of the team, and for that, he will be sorely missed.”
“Poignant words after the chaotic end to tonight’s game. How do you feel about that? About Morrow’s involvement. Given what you just said…”
“It was an emotionally driven and highly strung game. I think in the end it boiled over for us and for them. That’s hockey, though. Sometimes our passion gets the better of us in the heat of the moment.”
The reporter nods before she asks, “Today should’ve been about more than the heat of the moment.”
Fuck.
With a deep inhale and long exhale, I ball my hands in my pockets.
“You can’t have hockey without the heat of the moment, and no one knew that better than Clover.
I’m deeply sorry to anyone who was hurt and/or offended.
Nevertheless, I think we should take tonight back to the essence of the evening. ”
“What’s that?”
“Remembering a great player and a decent human being whose life was tragically cut too short.”
With that, I allow Cecilia to usher me towards another reporter and then another before the locker room is closed to the press again, and we leave for the bus waiting to take us back to the hotel.
Connie slips in beside me before Jayden makes it onto the bus. By now, everyone knows that the seat beside mine is always Jayden’s and vice versa. However, Connie doesn’t care one bit as she gets settled in while he glares daggers at her from the empty seat beside Weissman.
“What a game,” is how she starts nonchalantly.
Always with a comment that steadily unravels into a deeper conversation.
Today, all I offer her is a clipped, “Yeah.”
“Is it always like this, or was today different?” She’s got her phone in her hands, and when I glance at her screen, she has one of those random jewel-matching games.
Although she’s visibly focused on the game, I know that she’s listening to every word when I tell her, “Today was different.”
“Good different? Bad different?”
Lifting my stare from her screen to the back of Jayden’s head, I attempt to breathe past the lump that instantly forms in my throat.
I want to be sitting next to him. Holding his hand.
Listening to his breaths as he works shit out in his head.
It’s killing me not to be near him right now.
Not to be the shoulder his head rests on…
“Both,” I reply, tapping the bracelet on my wrist once, twice, three times, four.
When it vibrates back twice in quick succession, the knot in my stomach eases somewhat.
He’s there.
Jayden’s always there. Which makes what I’m about to say sound idiotic to me, except him knowing about the past hits differently on the ice.
“For once, it didn’t feel like it was just me and Presley.”
“You’ve never been on your own out there with him,” she states the obvious while my wrist vibrates a few times again with Finley’s reply to my taps.
“It’s how it’s always felt before today.” I’m resisting the urge to link up an obvious patch of sapphires that she keeps ignoring. Instead, I divert my stare to the back of Jayden’s head, peering over the headrest of the seat.
“Because Jayden knows.” I nod and she goes on, “The bad was…?”
“You were there, you saw what happened.” When she shrugs, I ask, “Why are you acting like it’s nothing?”
“In the grand scheme of things, it is nothing. Like you said in your interview, it’s hockey.
The sport is passionate and intense. Some might even call it brutal.
Sparring is part of the game.” Finally, she connects the sapphires, and her screen erupts with confetti when she advances to the next level.
Connie doesn’t continue playing, instead she swipes the game closed and turns her phone screen down on her lap as she twists in her seat to level me with a fierce stare.
“Professionalism aside, I’d say Mr. Tomes got dished some just desserts.
” A crooked grin tugs at one side of her mouth, lighting her eyes with a wicked glint.
“Quite frankly, they were on the light side. No offense to your boo, Morrow did a decent number on him. I believe there was at least one tooth missing.”
“My what?” I choke on my remark.
“Your boo? Boyfriend? Partner? I don’t know what you call each other or what’s on trend right now.” When I shrug, she gives me a playful grimace. “Ai, ai, ai… What do you like the sound of?”
“Umm, well… I guess JJ is my partner on the ice and my boyfriend off it.”
A slow smile levels her mouth into a warm expression while my face heats. Connie has an uncanny ability to make me squirm about the smallest things.
Mostly when we talk about Jayden and Finley. Sometimes it’s as simple as telling her about our plans for a hike or dinner. Although it’s all innocent, when we talk about them, it feels intimate.
They’re the core of who I am, and talking about them is like exposing the deepest part of me.
The most precious part of my existence.