Chapter 67
ELI
A line appears between Connie’s brows when I sit next to her on the plane. Normally, she sits at the back with Coach. A few rows back from the other staff and away from the players at the front.
Today, Coach is sitting with Shane, clearly enduring one of his crisis talks, which doesn’t fill me with much hope about the meeting Jayden has with Gerry when we land in L.A.
“Not sitting with Morrow today?” she asks as I settle into the seat.
My heart is racing at what I’m about to tell her. Part of me hopes she’ll talk me off the ledge I’m teetering on, and the other part knows it won’t work even if she tries.
I meant what I told Jayden last night—I’m not letting him go without a fight.
I cannot be without him. Neither can Finley.
She was freaking out when she called me after the game.
Our girl was choked up over the postulating conversations happening in the press about the repercussions of Jayden’s actions and what they mean for his future with The Comets.
“Didn’t get much sleep last night?” Connie gives me a crooked grin.
From the dark circles under her eyes, she hasn’t, either.
Something about her has been different lately—tired, a little aloof.
She’s also not wearing her usual fitted skirts and blouses.
Like today, she’s in leggings and an oversized Comets sweater that looks like it belongs to Coach with the way it swallows her petite frame.
“Eli?” Leaning forward, she waves a hand in front of my face. “Are you going to say something or sit there staring at me?”
“You look different,” I blurt, hoping the observation makes my unintentional staring less weird.
A rosy tinge stains her cheeks as she chuffs down at her lap. “I had a very long night.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. That sucks.”
“It’s life…” Turning her body toward me, she tucks herself into her sweater as she leans into the window. “What is it they say about power and responsibility?”
“With one comes the other,” I offer.
“Yeah, and responsibility is definitely the killer of sleep.”
“I guess it is.” It’s also why I’m sitting here with her instead of in my usual seat, snuggled up to Jayden. “Is it okay if I talk to you right now?”
“You can always talk to me, Eli.” In spite of what she says, Connie glances around at the others on the plane. When her eyes find me again, she gets up and gestures for me to do the same.
Without explanation, she heads toward the back, where the flight staff are gathered. Her expression turns partly annoyed when she looks over her shoulder at me, then she points at the lavatory.
“Not quite our usual meeting space, but it’ll do,” she sighs, slipping in after me.
The space is tight, and I have to sit on the actual toilet, so I don’t crouch over her while she perches on the edge of the small sink.
Now that we’re alone, I’m nervous. My hands are clammy; a cold sweat beads on the back of my neck under her expectant gaze. The temperature in here is sweltering.
With a long inhale, I try to center myself before I blurt, “I can’t let him go. JJ… Jayden… I can’t lose him, Connie.”
The soft smile on her face slips with the wrinkle of her nose. “Did you and Jayden have an argument? Is that why you’re not sitting next to him?”
What? “No. Jayden and I are… great.” It takes a beat to settle on the word; with everything going on, we’re both on edge. Still, when it comes to me and him, we’ve never been better.
“All right, so what’s the problem? Why are you afraid of losing him?”
“Because Gerry’s called him in for a meeting, and after last night…”
When I shrug, she slips off the edge of the sink and crouches in front of me. Big honey-colored eyes bore into mine. “I see.”
“It’s bad, isn’t it?” My eyes sting with the question.
“I don’t know, but Bobby isn’t confident that it’s not.” The sorry look hits harder than the words.
My mouth opens to speak, but a quiet sob escapes from that place in my chest that’s been hurting all damn night.
This is the moment I’d usually run—as far and fast as I could from the ache, from the sickness churning in my stomach, from the voice that tells me I can make it hurt less, I can bleed it out.
“Eli…” The tenderness in her voice makes everything hurt more. “Why don’t we go through all the scenarios playing out in your head?”
“No, that’s okay.” I already know what I need to do, and there’s nothing Connie can say that’s going to change my mind. But… “I need you to help me.”
“Help you how?” she asks, catching her lip between her teeth as her brows knit.
Fuck, my heart is pounding into my ribs, the bruising force staggering my reply. “With Coach.”
***
Coach Bobby Nilsson is a solid six feet of brawn, and right now, he looks like he’s about to drop to the floor—or maybe have a heart attack. I don’t think I’m far off the latter as I chug one of the waters Connie got from the flight attendants before Coach asked them to give us the galley.
“Bobby.” Connie nudges him with her arm, then leans in on tiptoe and murmurs, “Say something.”
“Uh…” His eyes go wide, the blue so dark they’re almost black as he takes a step forward and then another back. “Fuck.”
“Not what I meant,” Connie mutters, giving me a sorry look before turning him by the shoulders. “Get it together, Robert.”
“What?” His stare stays glued to me the whole time she scolds him. It’s obvious he isn’t listening when he gently moves Connie aside and approaches me with more caution than ever. “Are you okay?”
I nod, incapable of speaking past the throbbing lump in my throat.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner? Why… Son…”
My quota for bravery is spent. I’m trying so hard to hold myself together and not spiral into what he must be thinking of me.
What if he doesn’t believe me?
Maybe he thinks I was confused at the time.
Or that I’m lying to protect Jayden…
Fuck, I’ve just told him Presley raped me.
Fuck.
Fuck.
The water I gulped seconds ago burns up into my mouth, flooding it with the sour taste of anxiety. I can’t swallow it back down because the pain in my chest is cinching my ribs, making it so tight my lungs won’t work.
And I can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe.
“Eli,” Connie says somewhere beneath the pounding in my head. “Eli…”
“Hey!” Coach’s voice thunders, snapping my gaze to his. “Look at me, Son. We’re going to nail that bastard.”
I nod, focusing on the bite of my nails in my palms. I need something to ground me. Something to help me breathe. To—
My heart gongs at the sight of Jayden pushing through the gray curtains separating the galley from the cabin.
Seeing him is the ultimate reset. Instantly, the tension in my muscles eases and my pulse slows. Then his hands grip my shoulders, bringing me chest to chest with him, and the warmth of his body melts the ice in my lungs.
“You okay, Sweetheart?” Sweeping up my shoulders, his palms mold to my jaw as he gives me a once-over. “What happened?”
“Your meeting with Gerry is canceled,” Coach barks in reply.
I see the second the penny drops for Jayden. Awareness dawns on his face, widening his stunning features right before his expression drops.
“I know you’re my boss, but you need to get out. Right now.” He’s holding me, but his glare is on Coach and Connie. “Please.”
She slinks past the curtains with a reassuring smile, giving Coach the moment he wants with the both of us.
“That asshole is done,” he states, punctuating it with a jab of his index finger in the air. “When I’m finished with that cretin, he’s going to wish you’d finished him last night. Nobody messes with my boys.”
Coach trudges toward the curtains, shaking his head and grumbling at the floor. When he pushes through, Jayden’s focus zeroes on me again.
His stare bores into me. Straight to the core of my fear. That suffocating, unrelenting pain of being without him.
“I had to tell him, JJ,” I say, fisting the hem of his polo shirt and pulling him into me. “I had to.”
“No,” he growls partway through an audible swallow. His hands tighten on my face. “No. Please, please, no. Not for me.”
“It’s not for you,” the remark tumbles from my mouth. “I’m doing this for me.”
For us.
“Why now?”
“Because Tomes doesn’t get to win anymore.” Pushing my hands beneath his shirt, I grip his sides. His skin is so warm, so soft, so mine. Jayden’s mine, and… “Presley doesn’t get to take you from me. He doesn’t get to take any more from me.”
“Eli,” he whispers, thumbs strumming at the corners of my mouth. His eyes are red and swimming. “Nothing and no one will ever take me away from you. I’m yours. Forever. Doesn’t matter where I am, that will never change. You and Fin are it for me.”
“And we want you here. We need you here. With us.”
From the way his churlish pout twists, I know I’m getting to him. That he understands why I can’t keep quiet anymore.
Because loving him and Finley means fighting for them with everything I have. The way that they have continuously fought for me.