Chapter 6 ZAYDEN #2
Shaking my head, I pretend to stand. ‘It’s been nice and all, but I must go now …’ She rolls her eyes and I grin, sitting back down. ‘Honestly though, that’s crazy. I can’t believe you are out here living like this.’
‘I’m doing just fine, thank you.’
I can’t help but drag my gaze down her once more. She looks fantastic. She always does. She has the kind of beauty that’s almost forceful, but somehow, she seems to have no idea just how beautiful she is.
‘I can see that.’
She has a rosy tint to her cheeks, looking a little like she did when she was tipsy the night before.
‘How’ve you been coping with everything, by the way?’ she asks, lifting those pretty blue eyes at me.
‘All right, I suppose,’ I say. She nods slowly, waiting to see if I’ll elaborate or not.
Leaning back in my chair, I adjust my position briefly, trying to gather my thoughts.
‘I feel a certain way one day, another the next.’ I exhale, lifting a shoulder.
‘I don’t know how I feel. I’m assuming you’re talking about the whole Mum and stepdad situation. ’
My stepfather’s passing was unexpected and still has me reeling.
I have recurring nightmares of his hands on me.
The bruises he left. Then everything that happened after.
My mother’s face fills my mind and I grit my teeth, a tidal wave of anger washing through me at what she did and how she handled things.
I try to let go of it all and move on from it – he’s dead.
It’s in the past. But how can I let that go?
I needed her more than I’ve ever needed someone before.
She’s my mother, and yet, she turned her back on me.
I can’t just forget that, no matter how hard I try.
Of course, Nora would know nothing about all of this. I don’t know what Anya has told the girls about Rod and our family, but I doubt she would have given them a play by play on what went down.
‘Yeah.’ She is staring at me. Kind and soft. My heart rate decreases a little – I didn’t realise it had started climbing – and I relax my shoulders. ‘I don’t know all of the details but it sounded quite intense for you.’
Movement to my left captures my attention and my stomach tightens.
‘Sorry …’ Nora trails off, noticing my expression. ‘I didn’t mean to overstep.’
‘You didn’t,’ I reassure her, glaring towards the group of girls who just entered the shop. I’m unsure if she’s noticed me yet, but if my theory about her tracking my phone is right, she’d definitely know I’m here. ‘My ex just walked in.’
‘Oh.’
‘She seems to be everywhere I go,’ I mutter, suddenly losing my appetite. Pushing the bowl away, I stand. ‘Want to get out of here?’
‘Sure.’ I notice the discomfort on her face straight away and I hate that Leasa gets this reaction from me. Somehow, she is still making my life about her, even though I’m doing everything I can to distance myself.
Standing abruptly, Nora reaches for her bag and a few things spill out onto the table.
She hastily reaches for them, and I quickly lean over and help pick the items up.
A business card makes me pause and I stare down at it.
It’s a black card streaked with pinks and oranges that swirl together.
In glittery gold lettering, it says Valiant Vixen with a QR code and a drop list of social media handles.
Letters decorate the background and there’s a silhouette of a girl behind a laptop.
The card is yanked from my hand and shoved deeply into her bag before I get the chance to study it more. She shrugs the bag onto her shoulder, not meeting my gaze as she steps away from the table. I eye her curiously as I follow her out of the courtyard and onto the street.
‘Sorry,’ I say once we’re out by the road and I’m able to think clearly. I don’t feel eyes on my back anymore and feel like I can inhale again.
‘It’s fine.’ she replies, hugging her arms around herself. ‘I’m sure having an ex that you bump into would be frustrating.’
I glance at her. ‘Ah, that’s right. You wouldn’t know.’
‘Thanks for rubbing it in.’
Cracking a smile, I nudge her with my arm. ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’
‘I know.’
‘It’s not that I’m not over her or whatever,’ I say, feeling the need to explain myself. ‘It’s just that she messes with my head. I just want us to go our separate ways, but it seems like she has other ideas.’
‘Maybe she wants you back?’ Nora says.
‘Too little, too late.’
‘Might be worth reaching out to her and having that conversation.’
‘I have. She isn’t someone who I can talk to reasonably anymore. We both just need to move on. I don’t understand why she won’t let me go. She’s the one who hurt me.’
Nora’s hand touches my arm briefly and I look down at it in surprise. ‘I’m sorry. That sucks.’
‘It’s whatever.’
Biting the inside of my cheek, I fight the smile trying to claw its way onto my face. I hate when Mason says that and yet I sound just like him.
‘How about you?’ I ask, deflecting the attention from me. ‘You put yourself out there and hey, it might not have gone the way you wanted it to go, but you took a chance and that’s better than nothing.’
‘I agree. Not every date is going to be a good one. I’m going to learn from it and keep moving forward.’
‘That’s the way.’ The sound of our feet against the cement is all that can be heard. I scan our surroundings, aware that it’s getting later, and yet, I don’t want the day to end so soon. ‘Why the sudden motivation to start dating?’
‘A few things, I guess.’
‘Which are?’ I press.
She sighs noisily. ‘I suppose you’re curious about that card you saw.’
‘In fact, I am,’ I agree.
She hesitates, biting her lip as she glances down at the footpath. She takes a small breath, her shoulders stiffening, looking like she is weighing up whether she should say what she is about to say.
‘I’m an author,’ she says. ‘I write anonymously. So basically my books are well known, but not my identity.’
‘Okay … I have to admit that is actually badass. So you’re intelligent, talented and mysterious. You’re full of surprises.’
‘Yeah?’ she asks, smiling up at me, a hint of surprise on her face, as though she might have thought that I wouldn’t think much of it.
‘Yeah! That’s awesome. May I ask why you’ve stayed anonymous?’
‘Releasing a book can be a very personal thing. I also write mature scenes and it would be super awkward if people I know in real life read them. I guess I just don’t like being vulnerable. There are some very nasty people out there, and it just seemed safer at the time to remain hidden.’
‘You have to own your shit, Nora. You should be proud of your hard work and be known for it.’
‘I am proud … but exposing myself to the world? Easier said than done.’
‘Wait,’ I say, stopping and turning to face her, a smirk curving my lips. ‘When you say mature … do you mean like sex scenes?’
Pressing her lips together, her blush deepens as she nods. ‘Yes.’
‘That’s hot.’
She breathes a laugh and we fall back into step together once more. ‘Well, apparently not.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘My editor doesn’t think they’re detailed enough. Which is valid, since I don’t have much real-life experience to back them up. I somehow winged it the first time around.’
Once more, I stop walking. I turn, staring at her. ‘Wait, what?’
She chews her lip, looking ahead. ‘You heard me.’
‘I find that hard to believe.’
‘You do?’ she asks a little flatly, disbelief clear in her tone. The corners of her mouth pinch and I can tell this is a sensitive subject for her.
‘Yeah. You’re gorgeous, smart, obviously talented. I don’t know how you’re single, let alone inexperienced in that department.’
Ducking her chin, her cheeks redden even further. ‘Thanks, Zayden.’
‘I mean it.’ I say, my eyes piercing into hers when she finally lifts her gaze to meet mine after what feels an eternity. ‘Also, Valiant Vixen. Is that the name you go by?’
‘Don’t you dare look me up.’
I offer her a grin. ‘That’s just even more reason to do so.’
‘No!’ she shrieks, covering her face. ‘Please don’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘You might never look at me the same.’
My smirk widens. ‘Now I’m even more invested.’
‘Just be grateful you have access to this highly privileged information.’
‘I’m honoured to be part of the A-list.’
‘Funnily enough, my family also gives me a hard time about my lack of dating experience. It actually led me to making a stupid mistake. I told them I’m seeing someone, just to get them off my back, and now they’re drilling me about it and I stupidly said I was bringing this mystery person to my stepsister’s wedding.
Hence why the pressure is on to get out and start dating. ’
I’m silent for a moment before releasing a snort. ‘Well. I did not expect that.’
‘Don’t worry, I’m embarrassed enough for myself, you don’t need to add to it.’
‘I mean, I get it. I know how difficult family can be. It just sucks that you feel the pressure so much that you can’t be yourself and need to lie about things.’
‘I didn’t need to lie, that was a stupid choice I made.’
‘I know, but I can understand what kind of anxiety must have led you to that.’
‘Yeah …’ she says, trailing off as she looks across the street.
‘Anyway, in other news, I got offered an incredible deal for this next book series I’m writing, and the last series I wrote has been optioned for film.
’ She gushes, her radiant smile lighting up her face.
‘I haven’t shared the news with anyone yet. ’
‘Woah!’ I exclaim, grabbing her hands and squeezing them. ‘Congratulations, that is incredible.’
‘Thanks!’ she beams.
‘Wait, so you’re famous?’
She diverts her gaze again. ‘I wouldn’t say famous.’
‘I’ll be the judge of that.’ Digging around in my pocket, I pull out my phone. She looks alarmed.
‘Wait, you’re not looking me up, are you?’
‘I am. If you’ll let me.’
‘I suppose you’ll just do it in your own time anyway.’
‘Probably,’ I admit with a grin.
‘Fine then.’
I smirk, satisfied that I convinced her. ‘Do I just search for Valiant Vixen?’