Chapter 17 NORA
NORA
ZAYDEN AND I NOW have a morning routine.
Laying in bed talking, our limbs lazily twisted around each other, showering, then cooking and eating breakfast together. It’s like we have somehow upgraded from sort of friends to a married couple, and I’m not quite sure when it happened.
Whenever there’s a lull in conversation, we meet eyes and laugh about what happened last night. I’ve heard so many stories about that kind of thing happening to people, but I never would have thought I could have gotten myself into that situation.
One thing I did learn from the experience: Zayden is great in a crisis. Me? Not so much.
Anya and Mason are gone by the time we emerge from Zayden’s room.
They run at six a.m. and then go out for breakfast on Saturday mornings.
I have quickly discovered that Zayden and I are very different people from them.
Usually, I do get up early and begin ticking things off my to-do list, but I’ve been enjoying a slower start to the day.
I used to feel like I was always in a rush, even when I didn’t have things planned for the day.
‘How are the new experiences going for you?’ Zayden asks, a smirk on his lips.
‘Well, I certainly experienced more than I expected to last night.’
‘You should put that in a book.’
I snicker. ‘I think readers might think I’m nuts if I did that.’
‘I bet it’s happened to someone before and they will go, wow, relatable!’
A snort of laughter escapes me. ‘I’m not sure about that.’
‘I think you’d be surprised at what weird shit people do.’
‘I feel like that includes us.’
He shrugs, a wicked gleam lighting up his eyes. ‘You have to admit, before that happened, it was very hot.’
‘Oh yeah.’ I agree. ‘It felt amazing. But it can just be you next time, not the toy, that goes in my butt.’
Zayden chokes on his juice and it sprays across the bench top. He coughs, clearing his throat. ‘I did not expect that to come out of your mouth. I think I’m corrupting you.’
Grinning, I shrug. ‘I think it was already there, you’ve just awakened it.’
‘I kind of love that.’
I lean onto the benchtop, drumming my fingers.
I enjoy watching him move effortlessly around the kitchen.
It’s inspired me to become more adventurous with my cooking …
among other things. I still love my basic foods, but it wouldn’t hurt to try new things and step out of my comfort zone.
I think I can relate that to all aspects of my life.
‘Speaking of all that, I think we need to have a conversation.’ His voice is deep and a little firm, making it hard to determine what he’s thinking.
Panic grips my heart and I’m pulled from my thoughts. Zayden’s back is to me and I stare at him. ‘A conversation?’
Oh no. After last night, he’s decided to end things with me. He’s realised I’m not all that, and he’s bored. Ready to move onto the next—
‘I would like you to be my girlfriend.’
I stare at him, stunned. As usual, my auto-response is to think the worst.
‘You do?’ I question, unable to hide my surprise.
He looks amused. ‘Yeah. Would that be all right with you?’
‘I mean …’ I trail off, shrugging my shoulders. ‘You wouldn’t be the worst person to date.’
‘Gee, thanks.’
I smile. ‘I’d love to be your girlfriend. Officially. For real. No fake agreements.’
‘Officially, for real, no fake agreements,’ he confirms. ‘Although if you could still help me study, that would be a bonus.’
‘Sure thing,’ I agree.
‘I’ve developed a lot of feelings for you very quickly – if we continue down this road, I’m going to get hurt if things don’t become serious between us. I’d struggle to be just friends with you, after this.’
My mouth drops open at his confession. I love that about him.
He’s so honest and willing to come forward with his thoughts and feelings.
It’s refreshing. Especially after my experience with my online dating situation.
James – the person who kept gaining my trust and then failing to keep it.
It’s so nice to have someone show me commitment and dedication.
It’s so important to me, and Zayden does it effortlessly.
He comes around the kitchen bench and pushes between my legs. I wrap my arms around him and lay my head against his hard torso. Is this real? Am I officially dating the Zayden Stark? The hot, popular football player that everyone adores? My best friend’s brother?
Detaching from me, Zayden returns to the oven and pulls out the croissants.
After putting the filling inside one of them, he pushes it over the bench towards me.
I lift my gaze to stare at the handsome man in front of me.
A touch of pink colours his cheeks, making me wonder if he was nervous to ask me.
Warmth blossoms in my chest at the thought of me making him nervous.
‘I got a date,’ I say, tearing off a piece of my food and throwing it into my mouth.
‘You’ve got a date? What do you mean?’
‘For that photoshoot that I’m supposed to do.’
‘Oh cool. When is it?’
‘This Friday, in the morning.’
‘Are you nervous?’
‘Yeah, a bit. I’m awkward and won’t know what to do.’
‘I’m sure they’ll direct you,’ he replies. ‘If you’re still worried about all that other stuff, please don’t. Your readers will love getting to see you and learn more about you.’
‘I hope so.’
Although I don’t sound confident, his words provide me with the extra reassurance that I’m doing the right thing by agreeing to this.
I know I’d personally love to learn more about my favourite authors if they were anonymous.
I can’t help suspecting that some people might expect something different from me and be disappointed, but I can’t let those kinds of thoughts dictate my life anymore.
Life’s too short to be weighed down by the opinions of others and it’s about time I start letting all of that go.
‘Should we go out for breakfast and then we can go to your shoot? I don’t have too much on my timetable on Fridays,’ Zayden says. ‘If you’re wanting the company, that is.’
‘Sure, that would be great. I’d feel better if you were there.’
‘I’ll be there then.’
He drops into the seat beside me and that same sensation of warmth trickles through me. It’s just so easy with him. This is the kind of relationship I yearned for. Easy-going, supportive and understanding.
‘I have an idea, and I’m not sure if it’s a terrible one or not,’ he says, voice muffled as his mouth is full.
‘What is it?’ I ask.
‘I thought I might go home for the weekend, and I’d like to take you. See if Mason and Anya want to come as well, and your friend Cami, too, if she wants. I need to go visit Mum, which I’ll do on my own, but I’d love to show you around and introduce you to her as well.’
I perk up at this, thrilled by the thought that he wants to show me more of his life.
It would probably be considered too soon to meet each other’s parents, given we only just agreed to start dating, but when I’m around Zayden, I feel like I’ve known him for longer than I have.
I’m so comfortable around him and I’m confident he wouldn’t be taking things to the next level if he wasn’t serious about this.
He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to muck a girl around, especially knowing I’m always going to be close by, being such good friends with Anya.
‘I would love that.’
‘Seeing how things are with your family – I hope you don’t take any offence to this – has made me rethink some things about my relationship with Mum.
I’m still hurt beyond words at everything that happened, but I think it’s important to rebuild our relationship.
Thinking ahead about future things here …
I’d want her to be involved in my child’s life.
Not that I want that right now or anything, I hope I’m not coming across crazy right now, but I just don’t want a strained relationship anymore.
I think it’s worth trying to work through it. ’
‘No offence taken at all. I wish my relationship with that side of the family was better, but it isn’t my choice.’
‘That’s what I mean. When it comes to my mum, it is my choice, and although I will never forget everything that happened, I’d like to try and repair what’s left of our relationship.’
Reaching over to him, I link our fingers together, squeezing his hand. ‘I’m sure she would appreciate that.’
‘Yeah. It’s about time I face it all.’
Running my thumb over his knuckles, I stare down at the contrast of his tanned skin against my pale complexion.
His large hands make mine small. I’m not used to that feeling.
The way he towers over me, his hard wall of muscles, he makes me feel safe, secure, and like I’m not the biggest person in the room.
I know all of that thinking is in my head, but it’s hard to let it go when it’s been conditioned in my head over the years from family always criticising me and commenting on my appearance.
If it wasn’t my weight, my hair was too oily, my skin too dry, or my clothes were not nice enough.
When I managed to get one thing right, something else would be brought up. It felt like I could never win.
‘You okay?’ he asks, a frown denting the skin between his brows.
‘What?’ I ask distractedly. ‘Oh, yeah. Just thinking.’
‘About what?’
‘Family,’ I shrug. ‘Nothing important.’
‘I didn’t upset you, did I?’ he asks in concern.
‘Not at all.’