Cross the Line

CHAPTER 24

Willow

Dev doesn’t win again.

But a ninth-place finish in that tractor of a car is commendable, and I’m immensely proud of him all the same. Hopefully, it’s more than enough to keep him on Mascort’s radar.

He catches me in the garage after the race, his damp hair brushing my temple as he shifts close. ‘Sturgill’s on my ass about this debrief. We’ll have to talk at the hotel. Stay up for me, baby.’

The command and the endearment ignited a blaze inside me. I’ve been on edge for hours, alternating between pacing my hotel room in my pyjamas, frantically packing to head home tomorrow, and doing PT exercises in an attempt to burn off some of my nervous energy. Yet it’s nearly midnight and – ignoring the fact that my body would never hold up for it – I’m wired enough to run a marathon.

When a knock on the door finally comes, I throw it open and find Dev with a hand braced against the doorframe. The crooked smile that pulls up one side of his mouth is so achingly familiar it makes my chest constrict.

‘Hey,’ he says. ‘Can I come in?’

The words have barely left his mouth before I step back and motion him in, my heart rate picking up when the door clicks shut behind him. Neither of us speaks for a beat, the quiet hum of the AC the only sound as we stare at each other. The entire day has been leading up to this, but now that it’s here, I don’t know how to proceed.

Thankfully, Dev does. He closes the distance between us, then he tucks a loose curl behind my ear, his hand lingering on my neck when he’s done.

‘I’m sorry it took me so long to get here,’ he says, gaze steady on me. ‘You still up for talking?’

There are other things I’m far more interested in right now. Even so, I nod and grab his hand, guiding him over to the bed. We sit so we’re angled toward each other, our knees bumping. It’s the tiniest bit of contact, but for the time being it’s enough.

‘I meant it when I said I want to make this work,’ I begin, pulse thudding in my ears. ‘I don’t know what that looks like for us. But I want there to be an us.’

‘I want the same.’ His fingers inch across the duvet, his pinky finding mine and hooking around it. ‘We don’t have to figure it all out right now. Or any of it. We just need to be honest with each other about how we’re feeling. This won’t work if we aren’t.’

‘I’m being very honest with you right now,’ I point out. There’s definitely a gaping hole of vulnerability in my chest.

He chuckles. ‘I know. But this won’t be easy, and I need you to tell me if it starts to feel like too much to handle.’

He’s right. The only way we can make this work is if we’re open with each other, because right now, there are more than a few barriers in the way of us having a public relationship. ‘I promise I will.’

‘We’ll take it one day at a time, yeah?’

‘Yeah,’ I breathe. It feels so damn good to be following my heart, in spite of the risk.

‘Can one day at a time include taking you on a date, though?’ he asks. His voice is tentative, like he’s worried I might say no. ‘I don’t want to half-ass this, Willow. I want to date you – be with you. I’m in this, fully and truly.’

I nod, pressing my fingers closer to his. ‘You can absolutely take me on a date. In fact, I insist on it.’

At that, he blows out a relieved breath. ‘Thank fucking god. Don’t know what I would have done if you’d said no.’ He grabs my hand, then lifts it to his lips and places a few rapid kisses to my knuckles. ‘That’s where we’ll start. I promise, this is going to be the best date of your life.’

‘It better be,’ I say, laughing with a lightness that only he brings out in me. ‘Good luck trying to impress me.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ve already googled cool date ideas in San Diego for inspiration.’ He tugs me to my feet, backing toward the door. ‘Next time we see each other, I’ll have the magnum opus of dates planned.’

My stomach drops at the next time. ‘You’re leaving?’

He comes to a stop in the small entryway, his expression softening as he squeezes my hand. ‘It’s been a long day,’ he says gently. ‘I’m sure you’re exhausted.’

‘I’m not that tired.’ My reply is quick, no hesitation. I lace my fingers with his, gazing up at him as I steel myself to ask for what I want. There’s no sense in backing down now. ‘Don’t go, Dev.’

His breaths are slow and measured as he quietly watches me. ‘You sure?’ he finally asks, his voice a little gravelly.

‘Absolutely.’

‘To be clear: are you asking me to sleep over?’

I squeeze his hand a little tighter. ‘I am.’

‘All right,’ he agrees, glancing away for a second, then turning back and studying my face. ‘Yeah. Maybe we could watch another movie. How about Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge? It’s a classic.’

‘You and your SRK obsession.’ I playfully roll my eyes but sober again quickly. ‘But no. I don’t want to watch a movie.’

Judging by the way the humour in his dark eyes is replaced with heat, he’s starting to catch my drift. ‘Would you rather eat snacks and gossip about our crushes?’ he offers, taking a step closer.

‘I’m thinking something a little less wholesome.’

He gives a soft but dramatic gasp. ‘Don’t tell me you want to play Spin the Bottle.’

‘Maybe more Seven Minutes in Heaven,’ I suggest. ‘Preferably longer than seven minutes, though.’

He stills, all amusement gone now. ‘Careful, Willow,’ he warns.

He can caution me all he wants. I know how I want the night to go.

‘I’m done being careful.’ It’s time to shed this label of innocence that’s been shoved upon me. Being the baby sister, the fragile one, the girl left broken-hearted, doesn’t equate to being naive. I don’t want anyone, least of all him, thinking it’s true. ‘Do you understand what I mean?’

His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. ‘I think I’m beginning to.’

To prove my point, I run my hands up his solid chest, over his pecs. Then I journey downward over his abs, slowing but not stopping when I reach the waistband of his jeans. I’m not a virgin. If my ex deserves credit for anything, it’s showing me the highs my body can reach.

But I have an inkling that Dev can get me higher than anyone else ever could.

When my fingers brush the button of his jeans, he seizes my wrists in his grasp. His expression is tense, and I’m briefly terrified I’ve done something wrong.

The worry disappears when he tugs me flush against him. He then drops his hands to my thighs and curls them around the backs, lifting me in one smooth motion. On instinct, I wrap my legs around his waist as he takes on my weight. It’s reminiscent of the encounter we had in his driver room, but no one’s going to interrupt us tonight. I won’t allow it.

We’re back across the room in no time. He lowers himself into the armchair in the corner and pulls me down to straddle his lap. My pyjama shorts might as well be non-existent they’re so thin, and he’s growing hard beneath me. There’s no doubt we want the same thing.

He stares up at me, hands resting where my thighs meet my hips, his chest heaving with every breath. His voice is reverential as he says, ‘You’re all I want. Are you really going to let me have you?’

I brush my lips across his and answer, ‘I’m already yours.’

Our kiss turns scorching with my admission. He slides both hands to my ass and squeezes, hauling me closer. I roll my hips against his in response, and he drops his head back, breaking the connection long enough for him to groan, ‘Fuck, Willow.’

His mouth finds mine again a moment later, consuming me. I grasp at the soft cotton of his Argonaut T-shirt as his teeth scrape my bottom lip. There’s nothing gentle about it, and the roughness has me arching against him even more.

My hands fall to the bottom of his shirt and push it upward, over the contours of his abs. He quickly gets the hint, tugging it off over his head, then throwing it to the floor before grabbing me again. But I press my hands firm against his chest so he can’t pull me toward to him. I need a second to take in the masterpiece beneath me.

I’ve seen Dev shirtless countless times, but this is different. This time I can admire and touch and do everything I’ve fantasized about at night under the covers for literal years.

‘You’re unreal,’ I exhale, running my fingers over the grooves, revelling in the way his muscles flex under my touch. ‘What did they do, make you in a lab?’

The sound he lets out is a cross between a laugh and a groan. ‘If they did, I would have asked them to make me a little taller.’

I snicker and dip my head, finding his stubbled jaw with my lips as my hands continue their exploration. ‘I like you the way you are.’ He’s practically a foot taller than me anyway; neither of us needs to strain our necks more than we already have to. ‘I wouldn’t change anything.’

‘Feeling’s mutual.’ He twists his fingers in the hem of my T-shirt, a question in his eyes when I shift back again. ‘Can I? I want to see you.’

A shiver speeds down my spine. ‘Yes. Please.’

He pulls it up and over my head and sends the fabric floating to the floor to join his, leaving me only in my bra. And just like I did, Dev takes his time to admire the view.

His breath hitches, and I swear the hardness in his jeans grows even more as he drinks me in.

Normally, I’d be conscious of all my flaws – like the faded stretch marks that map the tops of my breasts and the ones that trail down from my waist and dip past my shorts – but just like I’ve seen him half-undressed before, he’s seen me like this too.

There’s something freeing about having known him my whole life. He’s seen me at every stage of life – a skinned-kneed five-year-old, pimple-faced at fourteen, stumbling drunk at twenty-one. He’s seen me on the beach, getting knocked down by waves and brushing sand out of my hair. He’s seen me ten seconds after rolling out of bed, bleary-eyed and wearing hand-me-down sweatpants.

I don’t need to hide a single aspect of myself from him. He’s already seen it all. And yet he’s still here, looking at me like I’m the centre of his universe.

‘You’re perfect,’ he breathes out, shaking his head a little like he can’t quite believe it. He tilts his chin up to find my lips again, giving me the gentlest kiss to punctuate the compliment.

‘Me?’ I mumble, eyes barely open, too intoxicated by him. ‘You’re the one who’s perfect.’

He doesn’t acknowledge the words, like he doesn’t even hear me. He just continues tracing up and down my spine, the warmth of his touch seeping into me. ‘Fucking flawless,’ he continues. ‘God, look at you. How did I get this lucky?’

He drags his lips down my neck and over my collarbone, then places soft kisses between my breasts, touching me like it’s his absolute honour to do so. As he does, I work my way down to the waistband of his jeans, searching for the button. I want more of him.

‘Not yet,’ he says. ‘I want to feel you first.’

He pushes my fingers away from his zipper, then slides his hand between us, the heel of his palm brushing against my core through the thin fabric of my sleep shorts. I gasp at the electricity that shoots up and through my belly. But I lose my breath completely when he pushes my shorts and underwear to the side, his fingertips gliding over my sensitive skin.

‘You’re so wet,’ he murmurs as he slips a finger inside me.

The move drags a moan from my throat. When he adds a second and curls up to brush against a tender spot, my head falls back and I clutch his shoulders, trying to keep my hips from bucking.

‘Don’t hold back,’ he insists against my neck, letting his teeth drag over my skin. ‘Ride my fingers.’

My eyes slide shut as I do what I’m told, rocking forward on his lap. His fingers move in rhythm with my motions, helping me along, and when he adds his thumb to the mix, swirling it around my clit, I swear I see stars. If I could form words, I’d tell him how fucking good it feels.

‘Just like that. Good girl.’

Even in the haze of pleasure, I can hear the rawness of his voice. When I manage to crack my eyes open, he’s studying me, gaze dark and heavy. It’s enough to make me grind down on him, and when I do, flames spark through me.

My breathing grows frantic, like there’s not enough oxygen in the room. It’s all been stolen, fed to the fire blazing at my centre. Dev brings me even closer to the edge when he claims my mouth with his, stealing that last bit of air. And when his thumb moves just a little faster, I’m there, falling headfirst, with no desire to ever stop.

I turn away to gasp for breath, lowering my forehead to his shoulder and resting my hands limply on his chest. He eases his fingers out of me, and wetness trails down my thighs with them. If I wasn’t soaked before, I absolutely am now, and even though I’ve just come, I’m still desperate for more of him.

From the corner of my eye, I watch as he brings his fingers to his mouth. A pleased sound rumbles from the back of his throat.

‘You taste just as sweet as I imagined.’ That’s it. That’s all it takes.

I lift my head, chest still heaving as I suck in air. ‘I need you to fuck me. Immediately.’

‘Willow,’ he admonishes, but his grin is wicked. ‘Such a greedy girl, aren’t you?’

‘Shut up,’ I groan as I press my lips to his, tasting myself on his tongue. ‘I want you inside me.’

He inhales sharply, turning his head to break the kiss. ‘That really what you want?’

‘Yes.’ I hold his face between my palms so he’s forced to look at me. So he can see just how sure I am. ‘So badly.’

He stares up at me with an adoration I want to bask in, but then a flash of disappointment overcomes it. ‘I don’t have a condom,’ he explains. ‘I wasn’t expecting this to happen.’

I kiss him again, hands still cupping his jaw. ‘It’s fine,’ I say when I force myself to break away again. ‘I’m on birth control, and I haven’t been with anyone in . . . in a long time.’

Suddenly, we’re moving, his hands under my ass as he stands, bringing me up with him. ‘I think you already know I don’t have any STDs.’

I stifle my laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck to hold on as he strides across the room. ‘I don’t know. Maybe we should grab one of those IYK Quick Results tests, just to be sure. I hear they’re really accurate.’

‘You’re awful,’ he says as he sets me on the bed and kneels on the edge.

I shoot him a smug grin. ‘You love me anyway.’

‘You’re right. I do.’

My heart stutters as his words wash over me. The comment was a flippant phrase that rolled off my tongue without thought. And I certainly didn’t imagine that kind of reply.

‘Dev . . .’ I whisper, giving him the opportunity to take it back in case he didn’t mean it.

I don’t realize I’m inching away until he grabs me by my calves so I can’t escape. He holds me there and hovers over me, knowing better than to pull me toward him.

‘That’s not how I expected it to come out,’ he admits on a soft, self-deprecating laugh. ‘But that’s how I feel, Willow.’

He cages me in with his arms, but I’m not trapped by him or by his words. I feel . . . safe. With him, I always have, even when we were young and he was encouraging me to be a little reckless. He made sure I never got hurt, and here he is, doing the same thing now. How could I not love him for that?

‘You don’t have to say it back,’ he continues, his nose brushing mine. ‘I don’t expect you to. I know it’s a big thing. But I need you to know.’

I swallow past the lump forming in my throat and blink away the burn behind my eyes. ‘Okay,’ I choke out, but what I really want to tell him bubbles up behind it. ‘I do love you, though.’

It’s his turn to go still, his eyes searching my face the only motion. ‘Fuck,’ he exhales after a beat. ‘That felt even better than I thought it would.’

A giggle escapes me, a surge of giddiness rushing through my veins. Dev loves me. And I love him. If I could go back and tell my thirteen-year-old self that we’d end up here, that girl wouldn’t have believed it. Yet here we are.

‘Does that mean you’ll fuck me now?’ I ask, both teasing and hopeful, and the laugh it drags out of him makes my heart skip a beat.

‘Whatever you want, jaanu,’ he says before kissing away every bit of composure I have left. ‘I’ll give it all to you.’

I’m breathing hard when he reaches behind me to undo the clasp of my bra. When he slips the straps down my arms and lets it float to the floor, my nipples are already pebbled, aching to be touched.

He takes another moment to admire me. ‘Beautiful. You are so beautiful,’ he repeats. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing it.

He dips his head and takes a nipple into his mouth, rolling it with his tongue, drawing a shaky exhale out of me. When he pulls back to move to my other breast, he covers the first with his hand, saving me from the sting of the AC. It’s so considerate I could cry.

Dev continues his exploration of my body, pressing kisses down my sternum to the softness of my belly. My stomach twists when he hooks his fingers into the waistband of both my shorts and my underwear and gives them a tug, a silent request for me to lift my hips so he can pull them off.

This is it. I know I can back out at any time and he would respect that decision. Not that I want to stop this, but . . . shit, this is really happening. Whether reality lives up to all my fantasies remains to be seen. Though, so far, I’ve been more than satisfied by this turn of events.

So I lift for him. And then, finally, every inch of me is bared.

Once more, he takes his time to admire, eyes sweeping over my body, a hard set to his jaw like he’s holding himself back from devouring me. Based on how he lowers his head to resume kissing across my hip bones, he’s about to do just that.

I stop him with a trembling hand when his lips are a hair’s breadth above my most sensitive spot, and he glances up at me in question.

‘Another time,’ I insist, though the heat in his eyes almost makes me regret my choice. ‘I want you inside me.’

‘Greedy and impatient,’ he teases, kissing his way back up my body. ‘But fine. I’ll take my time with you when we do this again.’

Again. We haven’t even gone all the way, and he’s already got me thinking about how mind-blowing the next time will be. After how quickly he got me off with only his fingers, I can only imagine the kind of delicious damage his tongue can do.

‘Take those off.’ I motion to his jeans. I want to see all of him too. If he thinks I’m impatient now, he’s in for a surprise. ‘Hurry up.’

‘All right, all right,’ he concedes, laughing as he rises from the bed and finally undoes the top button of his jeans.

I observe, rapt, as he drags the zipper down, taking in his black boxer briefs and the bulge behind them when they come into view. But when he pushes the jeans down his thighs, I gasp.

‘You have a tattoo.’ I push myself up onto my elbows to get a better look at his left thigh, where there’s a mosaic of blooming flowers, a roaring tiger, and lines of script in various languages that I can’t fully make out. ‘I knew it.’

Dev snickers as he steps out of his jeans and once again kneels in front of me on the mattress. ‘Don’t tell my mom.’

His position gives me a better view of his ink . . . and more. ‘Your secret’s safe with me,’ I promise, but my mouth is suddenly dry.

I want to lie back and look at him, but I want to touch him more. I sit up straighter and hook my fingers in the elastic waistband of his underwear. He leaves his arms hanging at his sides, letting me do what I want. I suck in a sharp breath when I pull down on the material and his cock springs free.

‘Oh my god.’ I don’t even realize I’ve murmured the words until he speaks.

‘Don’t worry, baby,’ he says, voice rough. ‘You can take it.’

I’m not so sure, but I’m no quitter. Especially not when I’ve been waiting for so long. I curl my hand around him. My fingertips don’t even come close to touching.

His sharp intake of breath barely registers. I’m too focused on the sight in front of me. ‘You gonna do something with that?’ he asks, finally garnering my attention. ‘Or should I show you what I want to do with you?’

I swallow, searching for my voice. ‘The second one.’

‘We can make that happen.’

He has me flat on my back in a flash, his hips slotted between my thighs, boxer briefs gone. There’s nothing between us now. My legs part easily for him. They’d go much further, but they shouldn’t, unless I want to find myself in a Belgian emergency room to pop my hip back into place.

My stretch marks and surgery scars don’t bother me much any more, but I’m still sheepish about having to advocate for my comfort. I shouldn’t be embarrassed, I know that. It’s a condition I have no control over, and it’s a fact of my life. Always will be. And yet, I’m flushing from head to toe, trying not to shrink in on myself as I lock eyes with Dev.

‘Be gentle with me, yeah?’ I whisper, cupping his neck as he braces himself on his forearms.

I don’t have to ask him. He knows how to handle me. He has for my whole life. Still, I say the words for my own peace of mind.

‘I know you can get your leg behind your head. Stop playing.’ He punctuates the joke with a soft kiss. Then he pulls back enough to murmur, ‘I promise I’ll never hurt you.’

This man could snap me in half, and I’d say thank you. But if I want this to happen again, we have to be careful.

Our lips catch and release, lazy and sweet, but our breaths are growing heavy, and my impatience takes over again.

As if he can sense it, Dev runs a hand down my body and dips two fingers into me, and a moan falls from my lips. ‘You ready?’

‘Please,’ I choke out.

That’s all the encouragement he needs. He flicks his thumb over my clit as he drags his fingers back out. My wetness glistens on them as he grips himself and aligns with my opening.

Oh god, this is it.

The head of his cock nudges against me, meeting a little resistance as he notches inside. I breathe through it at his murmured insistence in my ear, and soon, I’m lifting my hips for more. He sinks into me inch by inch, giving me time to adjust to the feel of him, to the way he stretches me, fills me. I expected pain or more discomfort. It’s been so long since the last time I had sex, and there’s no way around it: he’s huge. But he does it with such ease and care that I’m convinced we were made for each other.

‘Fuck, you’re so tight,’ he groans against my neck. Lifting his head, he studies me. ‘This okay?’

I nod. The accompanying yes lodges in my throat, and all that escapes when my lips part is a breathy moan.

He rocks back and forth to stretch me a little more, his motions gentle but sure, and then he’s seated fully inside me, his hips pressed against mine.

‘Still okay?’ he asks, barely above a whisper.

‘God, yes.’ This time the words flow freely, as if he’s broken through every wall within me. ‘Don’t stop.’

The demanding throb between my legs can only be satiated by his movements. I’m ready to lose myself to him.

I grip his shoulders as he thrusts, slowly at first, still shallow. But then he gives me more, little by little. His hips roll into me, driving in deeper, each thrust a little harder than the last. I arch my back and draw him into me, my body begging for more, because the friction is impossibly spectacular.

‘Faster,’ I plead, instinct taking over.

He’s more than willing to comply, and his careful control wavers.

It’s not long before I’m desperately meeting him thrust for thrust. My peaked nipples brush his chest, and the combination of sensations has me pressing up into him, desperate to feel every inch of his skin against mine as the pressure builds and builds and builds. I’m hovering on the cliff, ready to fall. I just need that little extra push to go spiralling down.

I get it when he slips a hand between our bodies and presses down on my lower stomach, finding my clit with his thumb. I’m suddenly electrified, every inch alight, crashing over the edge with such force that it drags a groan out of him as well.

‘That’s it, baby,’ he pants, still moving as I clench around him. ‘Ride it out. I’ve got you.’

And he does. It’s why I let myself melt into him, let him steal my breath with another earth-shattering kiss. I want to float off and close my eyes, get lost in all of the sensations – but he’s not done.

He moves slowly, allowing me a chance to recover before his pace quickens. A soft cry escapes my lips when he does, even more sensitive now. Pulling my legs up, I hook my ankles behind his back to take him at a different angle. The sensation isn’t as sharp like this. It’s more like an ache that grows and grows, and soon, I’m begging. For what, I’m not sure, but I’m whispering please, please, please over and over again.

‘Give me another one,’ he demands in my ear, stubble scratching my skin as he brushes his cheek against mine.

I shake my head, trembling. ‘I can’t,’ I gasp out, squeezing my eyes shut tight.

He grasps my chin. ‘Look at me.’

I force my eyes open, absorbing the intensity of his stare. He holds my gaze as he drives into me, no hesitance in his strokes, determined to take what he wants from me – determined to give me everything in return.

It’s all enough to wring another orgasm out of me. My cries are lost when he dips his head to kiss me. Euphoria spirals through me, and my head spins. I’m so drunk on him that I barely notice when his hips stutter. But the praise and worship whispered and slurred into my ear soak deeply into my consciousness. Not all of it is in English, but I understand the sentiment perfectly.

He’s deep, so deep inside me. I’m a woman possessed, every inch of my body on fire. There are no coherent thoughts in my mind. Nothing more than him. Nothing more than us.

I want this for ever.

He buries his face in my neck when he explodes inside me, his mouth against my pounding pulse, his teeth grazing my skin. I stroke his shoulders, savouring the way he collapses against me – though he’s careful not to crush me or hurt me. He gives me just enough of his weight so that I know he doesn’t want to let me go.

He’s not the only one. I’ll hang on to him for dear life if I have to. Because there’s no going back now.