Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
JOSEPHINE “JO” BOOKER
“No, no, no…” I chant, staring at the two pink lines on the pregnancy test, willing them to disappear. “I can’t be pregnant.”
I drop my face into my hands and groan.
Those words are a joke. The truth is Johnny and I have been practicing the art of reckless sex over playing it safe. In the six weeks since we started having sleeping together, he’s worn a condom all of three times, and that was only after the fog of losing Andrew lifted, and I realized we were fucking like rabbits, and I forgot to renew my prescription for birth control.
A knock sounds at the door, and Katie doesn’t wait for me to respond before she pokes her head inside the bathroom.
“Are you…” Her words trail as her eyes land on the pregnancy test. Pointing at it, she brings her gaze up to meet mine. “Oh my God…is that…are you?”
I close my eyes briefly. “Yes.”
“Oh my God, Jo!”
She throws her arms around me, engulfing me in a hug. “This is amazing!”
Maybe for someone who has their life together, but for someone like me this is a giant clusterfuck. I mean I can barely keep my head above water these days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m better than I was a couple of weeks ago. I’m not constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop where Johnny is concerned, but every other aspect of my life is a mess. My landlord decided to tell me this morning that he sold the building and the new owners plan on knocking it down and building a condo. I have four weeks to find a new storefront for my salon, or I’m out of business, and I didn’t even share that with Katie yet. On top of that, I got a judgement notice in the mail last week, about some past due bills I never paid. They’re threatening to freeze my bank account.
My bank account that currently holds ninety-seven cents.
Katie inches back, and the smile falls from her face.
“Oh, no… you’re not happy.”
That only makes the frown on my face deepen. When I was a kid, I used to dream of being a mom. I wanted at least three kids, and I wanted to be the type of mom my mom was before I lost her. I never imagined I wouldn’t be happy about it.
“This wasn’t exactly planned,” I rasp, doing my best to hold my tears at bay. My eyes flit to the test again. “Maybe it’s wrong. I should take another one.”
Katie nods. “Sure. If you want, I can run and get one for you.”
I glance back at her and nod. “That would be helpful.”
“Okay.” She turns for the door but pauses to glance back at me. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“You said it wasn’t planned, but would really be such a bad thing? I mean, I know you and Johnny have only been together since your brother passed, but you guys seem really solid. I don’t think you realize how that man looks at you.”
I consider that for a moment. My feelings aside, I don’t know how Johnny is going to react. I think he’d do the honorable thing —whatever that is, but I don’t think that necessarily means he’s ready to have a kid or that even wants one.
Katie reaches into the pocket of the little apron tied around her waist and holds up my phone.
“I wasn’t intentionally trying to look, but he’s called you three times since you’ve been in here.”
I take the phone from her. “Thanks.”
“I’ll be right back,” she says, then disappears from the bathroom. I sink onto the floor and draw my knees to my chest as I stare at the screen of my phone. A notification lights up, alerting me of the missed calls. I try to work up the nerve to call him back, but I don’t know what I’d say. It doesn’t feel right to tell him about the test when I just sent Katie to get another one, and I don’t know that I have it in me to make small talk.
Ten minutes later Katie returns with a bag full of pregnancy tests and a gallon of water. I drink half the gallon, and thirty-five minutes after that, I have a collection of tests displayed on the sink. All different brands share the same conclusion.
I am pregnant.