Chapter 45 NANCY
A GRANDFATHER CLOCK CHIMED MIDNIGHT as I stood with Mum and Winston, waiting for their taxi home.
“You still gonna pop by in the morning?” Mum asked.
“Yeah, I’ll come before your appointment. It’s not too early, is it?”
“Not till eleven.”
“Thank god for that.” I yawned with relief, feeling my night drawing to a close, but while I’d have happily opted to snuggle up in bed with Alex, I was determined to be the very best host for our first party.
“Mad night, gyal. Your gentleman’s a gentleman. I’ve not had this much fun in ages, and the pepper roti, mmm.” Winston grinned and pulled me into a hug.
“I’m happy you enjoyed it.” I gave him a squeeze, grateful he was becoming an integral part of our little family. “And I’m relieved we can move forward after this nightmare month.”
“And what a move.”
“Mum, we’re not living together.”
“Your week-long stay and glowing expression say otherwise, love,” she said, and my cheeks flamed. “Not to mention there’s a pool out back.”
“And a games room,” Winston added.
“And a cinema,” Mum continued.
“And a bar,” Winston chuckled.
“Alright, but we’re still not living together.” I shook my head with embarrassment.
“Whatever you say, Nancy, but a man doesn’t go viral with a public love confession without thinking about commitment. He’ll be asking you to move in before too long.”
I hesitated. Was that true? Is that what I wanted?
The last month had passed by in such a blur of passion and angst that I was happy enjoying our relationship a day at a time.
With the present feeling so precious after the insanity we’d been through, we hadn’t discussed the future, and in many ways, I was glad.
There was so much baggage from our past and so much expectation from Alex’s family; what we needed was time.
“Your cab’s here. Off with you,” I dismissed and kissed them goodnight. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I watched them walk away hand in hand and turned to the house with a contented smile, bumping into Jemima in the hallway. “Y’alright, Jem?”
“I’m looking for AJ,” she said distractedly.
“I haven’t seen him in a while. You want me to help look for him?”
“Nah, I’m good.”
“You sure? I don’t mind.”
Jemima turned and attempted to focus on me. I caught the strained look in her eyes and the scent of rum on her breath. “I can find my boyfriend, thanks. Maybe keep your eyes on your own.”
“What’s that meant to mean?”
“AJ feels uncomfortable here after what Alex and his little minion did to him at your penthouse.”
I tried to ignore her jibe. “They’ve all apologised. It’s over.”
“AJ shouldn’t have to apologise.” Jemima poked my shoulder with her stiletto-tipped nail. “He was looking out for you like he always does.”
Where the hell is this coming from? “If you’ve got something to say to me. I’d rather you just came out with it.
Jemima’s expression grew mean, but I knew there was an edge of fear behind it. “Look at you, all cocky, with your fancy City job and flaunting your new man’s bank balance in our faces. You’d think you’d got enough now you’ve abandoned your roots, so why don’t you just back the fuck off, Nancy?”
“Jem, what the fuck is this about?” But she’d already held up her hand dismissively and swayed off.
I couldn’t believe her accusations. I’d never, in all the years I’d known AJ, made a move on him.
And yes, he could be protective, but Jemima knew why.
As for Alex’s wealth, I’d hadn’t thrown it in anyone’s face, and I sure as hell hadn’t ‘abandoned my roots’.
That was more than could be said for Jem, who was always bragging about her bonuses and flaunting her new BMW Gran Coupe.
She was the social climber, not me. And I was happy for her!
Feeling suitably pissed off at being thrust in the middle of their lover’s tiff, I went to catch some air away from the party.
I climbed the grand staircase, taking the left split to the wide corridor of the mansion’s west wing.
I heard William and Kim giggling in one of the guest rooms, and smiled to myself, continuing to the far staircase that led to the roof garden.
The pleasant night-time breeze rustled the flowers and shrubs surrounding the space.
It had already become my favourite spot to chill with Alex.
We’d curl up on the rattan couch (me wearing his discarded work shirt over my denim shorts because I knew it drove him crazy) listening to music, reading, or playing cards while enjoying a glass of wine as the sun set.
It was our little sanctuary in the middle of the city’s hustle.
As I followed the spotlit path, the back of AJ’s puffa jacket that he insisted wearing year-round came into view.
I wavered, watching him gaze out over the affluent neighbourhood.
He looked out of place in the middle of the opulence, and part of me wondered if I did too, strolling around a lavish mansion as if it were my home. .. Maybe Jem was right.
“This seat taken?” I asked, seeing Dennis curled up on AJ’s lap, looking content with his temporary bed.
AJ looked up with hazy eyes, and a big grin spread across his face. A half-smoked J sat smouldering in a crystal ashtray he must’ve found somewhere in the mansion. He patted the seat. “Help yourself, fam.”
I kicked off my pumps and tucked my legs under me. “Not enjoying the party?”
“Nah, it’s cool. I just needed some peace and quiet. I found this little guy, and we’ve been chilling.” AJ gave Dennis a scratch on his head, and his expression went from happy to heavenly.
“Jemima’s looking for you.”
“Yeah?” he grunted.
“She seemed off with me. I hope it’s not about the fight you had with Alex ’cause that’s water under the bridge, innit?”
AJ stopped stroking and focused on me, his arm resting on the couch’s back so he could play with the chain of my dove necklace. “You sure you made the right decision getting back with him?”
“Yeah, I do.” I tried to hide my impatience. “Despite everything that’s happened, we’re solid. He’s caring and generous, and I feel safe with him. He sees me for who I am… I love him, AJ.”
He offered me the joint, thin-lipped, but I shook my head, waiting him out as he took a drag. “I just wonder sometimes, could things have been different?”
“I know you like speaking in riddles, but this is another level. What’s up?”
AJ exhaled a long plume, and his expression became pained. “I knew you were acting strange, you know? Missing lessons, always distracted and secretive, but I didn’t ask you about it. I should’ve protected you.”
I sighed. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard this from him, as if I’d been his responsibility.
That he’d broken some unspoken duty to me, when I was the one tricked into lying to everyone I loved.
No one could have known. On the outside, I was just another moody teenager.
“You were there exactly when I needed you most.”
“Finding you like that. I didn’t know what to do.”
“You saved me, AJ.”
“Nah. I was too late. And then everything was different. It changed you, ’course it did; you were scared, and then you hid away. Guys made you nervous after, so I backed off. But you’ve found your confidence again. I just wish…” He shook his head as his fingertips traced up to my hairline.
“Listen, I can’t change the past, but none of what happened was on you. We were both kids. All I can say is things are good now.” I took his hand. “I’m grateful for you every single day, yeah?”
AJ focused on me, and I realised how little space there was between us.
“You’ve always believed in me. When everyone, including Jem, was calling me a wasteman.
Saying that I should settle for some minimum wage shit job for the rest of my days, it was you who always had my back when it came to music…
I wish things had been different for us, Nancy.
” His words hung in the air, and for the first time, I saw the longing in his eyes.
Alex coughed behind us, and I swung around. His expression was neutral, but I could see the dilated blackness of his eyes—fixed and dangerous on AJ’s hand, still stroking my nape.
“A—Alex.”
AJ looked around and took a long drag so Alex could see the joint. He blew out a plume of fragrant smoke. “Hope you don’t mind.”
“To each his own,” Alex said dryly and held out his hand to me. “People are asking after you.”
“Sure,” I said quietly and rose. “You should come back to the party and find Jem.” AJ gave me a small smile but remained seated, stroking Dennis, then turned away to watch the view.
Alex led me out the door, pushing firmly against the small of my back while gripping my forearm, silent as he bustled us down the stairs. “Alex, stop it!” I tried to wrench free, but his grip tightened. He pushed me into the master suite, slamming the door and turning on me.
“What the hell were you doing?”
“Talking to my friend.”
“Talking to your friend,” he repeated coolly. “Alone, getting high in the roof garden, cosied up on the couch while he touched you.”
“That’s right, and I don’t have to explain how I behave with my friends.” I turned for the door.
“Stop!” His booming command glued my feet to the floor. “You can’t just run whenever things get uncomfortable.” He moved in close, his seductive cologne mixing with the edge of alcohol on his breath. It caused my pupils to dilate as the heat of his body pressed against my back.
“How many times do I have to tell you nothing is going on between us?” I whispered. “Why don’t you trust me?”
“I do trust you.” His arms slid around me. “What I don’t trust is how he uses your past to try and hold on to you.”
“That’s what this is really about, isn’t it?” I turned to face him. “You wish it were you in his place that night.”
“Yes, I do.”
My gaze softened. “You can’t do anything about what happened to me either.”
“You’re wrong,” he murmured darkly.
“It’s in the past. Let it g—”
“Tell me his name.”
“We’ve been through this,” I said, having kept my guard up to his probing questions over the past week. I understood exactly what he wanted—and why.
He leaned in close, his lips brushing mine. “Tell me.”
“No.”
“I can find out.”
“I made sure I didn’t give you enough information to do that.”
He paused, furious, and moved back. “Does he know?”
“Who?”
“AJ!”
“No! Nobody knows. No one but me, and that’s how it’s staying.”
He held my shoulders. “Why would you protect that monster?”
“I’m not protecting him! I’m protecting the people I love. I’m protecting you! It’s in the past, and nothing will change it. What matters to me is us, here and now. Why can’t you see that’s what’s important—”
Alex kissed me fiercely, and the next thing I knew, I was on my back on the bed. “How do you always know the right thing to say?” he murmured, climbing on top and kissing down my neck.
“We’ve been over that too,” I moaned.
He rose into a press-up above me. “Please. I need to know his name.”
I stroked his face, wanting to soothe his guilt. “You always will because you love me. That’s why it’s okay.”
“I’ll never let anything happen to you.”
“That’s not how life works, Alex. You can’t protect me all the time. But I love you for trying.”
“We’ll see about that,” he said, emotion coursing through his eyes as he watched me. “I’ve donated the funds from the sale of number eight to Rape Crisis.”
I pressed my lips to his, deeply touched, then, I pulled back mischievously. “The thing is, I wanted you to buy me a yacht.”
He broke with a rasping laugh that sent a shiver of desire through me. “God, I love you. Never change.”
“I love you too… But about the yacht.”
He lowered, pinning me with his hips, his face growing seductive. “You want me to whisk you away, bella donna?”
“Yeah, I fancy wearing an obscene bikini while walking about on deck sipping a mojito.”
He lifted my wrists above my head, holding me open as he traced kisses across my body. It was a position that only a month before would have frightened me to my core, yet with Alex, it had become entirely erotic. I pressed into his building erection.
“It’s a deal. Just the two of us marooned at sea,” he moaned with longing.
“Sounds good to me.”
He freed a hand to tease my nipple through the cotton.
“SHAUN, mood lights,” I commanded, then traced the seam of his lips with my tongue.
He groaned, locking his mouth over mine, and I relaxed into the soft duvet, yielding. The bell for the front gate chimed through the house, but we ignored it, grinding against each other. And damn, I was primed for him. Ready to take whatever he was giving like an addict.
The second impatient ring broke the moment.
Alex growled a sigh and slowed. “It’s probably a cab. I’ll go check. Can you see if anyone’s waiting?” I nodded, doing my best to hide my irritation, but he read me like a book. “Hold that thought, bella. Just think about the delayed gratification.”
He landed one final devastating kiss, then helped me off the bed.