Chapter 1
1
AIDAN
“Oh, you’ve gotta be f— kiddin’ me!” My voice is a quiet hiss as I glance towards my playing son, barely catching myself before saying ‘fucking’.
“I know, Mr. Black, and I’m so sorry. We simply do not have anyone available on such short notice to travel with you,” the accented voice on the other end of the phone says. “I wish you the best of luck in finding a suitable option, and should you need somebody in the off-season, please don’t hesitate to call.” The click tells me she hung up without waiting for a response, not that I can blame her.
The last in a long line of my son’s nannies was unceremoniously fired after I came home from a late practice to find her perched on my bed in nothing but skimpy lingerie while Crew slept down the hall. Needless to say, she won’t be getting a reference from me.
“You okay, Daddy?” My son’s sweet voice has me taking a deep breath in an attempt to quell my frustration. I do my best not to hide my emotions from Crew, but I also refuse to direct my anger at him in any way .
I’ve seen enough angry outbursts for both of our lifetimes.
“I’m okay, bud.” Reassuring my son is as easy as breathing, even as my mind spins with panic when I realize how royally fucked I really am.
We’re still in the thick of Spring Training, with our season starting up again in just over a month, and now I don’t have anyone to watch Crew here or for away games. My mama has a bad hip and can’t handle a wild, almost 6-year-old for more than a few hours at a time, let alone a week or more.
“Hey, why don’t you get dressed, and we’ll go see Auntie Wren?”
His eyes light up hearing my question, and even though I see the expression on him almost every single day, it still melts my heart into a puddle in his little hands. I would do anything for my boy, the least of which being both his dad and mom on a daily basis.
Listening to his screams of joy over seeing Wren brings a smile to my face in spite of the chaos rioting through my mind over this nanny situation. We’ve only known my best friend Rhodes’s fiancée for a little over a year, but she’s become an irreplaceable part of our ragtag family, and Crew and I love her just as much as we love Rhodes.
It really chaps my best friend’s backside sometimes that my little hellion prefers the pretty lady over his uncle Rho, given Rhodes has known Crew since he was barely knee-high to a grasshopper.
“Daddy!” My favorite boy shouts at me from upstairs, and I take the steps two at a time to get to him, cursing myself for being so lost in my own head. The same tendril of fear that wraps around my throat every time I hear him scream for me nearly chokes me until I make it to his room.
When it becomes clear he’s fine, I heave a relieved sigh and drop down next to him, planting a kiss on the top of his soft blond head. The kid looks just like me with his light blond hair and ice-blue eyes, and I can’t help but be selfishly grateful he favors my genes.
Crew is sitting at the end of his brand new “big boy bed” trying to tie his shoes without much luck, and I stifle a chuckle when I see his chubby fingers twisting the laces aimlessly.
Kneeling down, I tie the laces for him, making sure to go slow so he can see how I do it. I untie them again to his frustration, but give him a patient smile. “Try it again little raptor, I know you can do it.”
He groans but does as I ask, this time tying the laces like an old pro. His toothy grin lights up the room. “I did it, Daddy!”
I chuckle, ruffling his hair. “I knew you could! So, how are you likin’ your bed?” I ask, hiding a small smirk behind my hand. He begged me for months for this bed Rhodes showed him on a whim one night after binge-watching all five Jurassic Park movies.
So instead of the regular bed I had planned on getting him, there’s now a life-size replica of the freaking Jurassic Park Jeep in my son’s bedroom, surrounded by way too many dinosaur toys.
He stands up and wiggles his little behind in excitement, grabbing my hand to pull me out of the room. “I love it!” he yells excitedly. His inside voice is essentially nonexistent, but I’m working on it with him. “But hurry ! I wanna go see Auntie and Finny!”
I snicker, knowing how much we all love that damned dog. Finnegan is a massive grey Newfoundland and the sweetest thing ever, but the big oaf doesn’t know his own size when it comes time to show affection. I swear I nearly leave with a pancake for a son every time we make a trip over to the Gray house.
The reminder of Finn makes me realize I need to text Wren before we head over, so I pull out my phone after getting Crew buckled into his car seat.
Me
Y’all busy or can Crew and I come by?
Future Mrs. Gray
Never too busy for you! Rho is at a brand meeting, so it’s just me and Finny. Everything okay?
Me
Nanny crisis. Sending up the bat signal.
Future Mrs. Gray
I have beer and takeout menus
Me
You’re a saint. You sure you still wanna marry Rhodes?
Future Mrs. Gray
I mean… pretty sure.
Her response earns a chuckle from me. I only ever flirt with her to ruffle my Rhodes’s feathers, but she really is a saint of a woman. I can’t even count the number of times Wren has rescued me from a babysitting bind, even going so far as getting her dad, Archie, to watch him if I was really stuck.
I never planned on raising Crew by myself, but every second has been worth it. The kid is my clone in every way. Not a drop of his egg donor’s looks or personality has shown itself in him yet.
Thank the good Lord for that.
Crew’s biological mother, Mia, was a one-night stand gone wrong in every possible way. Just before the start of my rookie year six years ago, I was drunk off my ass and drowning in emotions after losing my father, so I numbed the feelings in any way I could. Mia just happened to fit the bill for a mindless bar hookup.
Seven months later, she showed up on my apartment stoop visibly pregnant after coming clean about the baby and being kicked out by her parents.
Mama nearly tanned my hide when I called her in a panic because I had a pregnant girl sobbing on my couch, but she got on board real quick when she realized how bad off Mia was. Crew was born only a week later, two months early.
Thankfully, other than being underweight and in withdrawal, he miraculously didn’t have any lasting issues from his mother’s drug and alcohol use during her pregnancy.
I didn’t know about any of that until his NICU blood tests came back positive for opioids, and Mia disappeared from the hospital without a trace. I always worried she might come back and try to take him, but shortly after his second birthday, her parents notified us she had died in a drunk driving accident.
Her death reminded me so much of my father’s that I would have spiraled had I not had my son to take care of. It’s been just me and Crew his entire life and although I wouldn’t change it for anything, I’m so goddamn lonely.
“Daddy, are you gonna drive, or are you havin’ a moment?” Crew’s sweet little twang hits my ears and I smile fondly. Raising a kid on your own is hard, but adding in the stress of a professional sports schedule and inconsistent childcare, I’ve been in over my head for a long time.
When he got older and started noticing my emotions, I tried to explain the concept of being overwhelmed. What came out of my mouth was that sometimes people need “moments” just to be quiet and sit still when their feelings get too big.
At the time, I felt like I was fucking up the explanation of something I so desperately needed, but my sweet toddler took the idea and ran with it. He now freely offers moments to anybody and everybody he thinks is struggling, and pride threatens to bust my chest open every single time.
Gathering my wits, I glance at his concerned expression in the rearview mirror. “I was having a moment, my little raptor, but I’m ready to go if you are!”
I’m ashamed to admit I was an emotionally stunted asshole for much longer than I’m proud of, even after Crew was born. That changed fast when my best friend and teammate Copeland all but kicked my ass into therapy, saying he heard somewhere it would help me be a better father and friend.
The pot calling the kettle black if you ask me.
The drive to our friend’s house is only a few minutes, so before I know it we’re parked in their spacious driveway with a furry behemoth fogging up my little raptor’s window with his slobbery breath. Wren comes running out of the house after her bear of a dog, face bright with laughter as she whips open the back door of my truck.
“Pumpkin butter!” she squeals, quickly extricating my squirming son from his booster seat with a grunt of effort. I nearly bark out a laugh but manage to choke it down at the last second.
Crew is incredibly tall for his age and built like a dang linebacker, every inch of his small body sturdy as hell. So even though Wren is 5’8 and athletic, she still struggles to cart him around.
He giggles loudly and squishes Wren’s cheeks between his small hands. “Auntie! Can we go see the pumpkins?” he asks excitedly.
She smiles softly at him before nuzzling his cheek, ending the affection with a loud raspberry and making him screech with laughter. “Sorry, butter. Mr. Hendrick isn’t feeling very good today, so we’re going to let him rest up,” she says quietly, an edge of concern sneaking into her tone. “Plus, pumpkins are out of season, silly! Now he’s got strawberries growing!”
Crew continues to chatter animatedly about all the things he wants to do out at Walter’s farm, but a niggle of worry has wormed its way into my chest, hearing the unease lacing my friend’s words.
I’ve gotten to know the old man well the last year or so since Wren moved back because he’s a close friend of their family, and in some ways, he’s like the father I always wished for growing up.
To hear that he’s sick has apprehension bubbling in my gut, and I make a note to call him sooner rather than later.
I watch my son run inside with Finn hot on his heels, but I gently snag Wren by the wrist and hold her back just outside the door. “Is Walt okay?” I try to keep my words to a hushed whisper but can’t help the frantic way they come out .
Her pretty blue eyes widen on mine, and I watch them soften with understanding when she gets a good look at my expression. “He’s okay, Aid. We’re pretty sure it’s just the flu, but I’m taking him to the doctor tomorrow just in case.”
My breath whooshes out in relief and I pull my friend into a grateful hug. Her soft voice meets my ear a second later. “He would tell you if it was something serious, Aidan. Walter would never keep something like that from you, knowing everything you’ve been through.”
Shooting her a strained smile, I take several deep breaths and force my suddenly tense shoulders to relax. I know she’s just trying to help but any mention of my father, brings up things I’d rather not deal with, no matter how abstract. With a silent nod of acknowledgment, I follow her through the foyer and straight into their spacious kitchen.
Where my kitchen is all white marble and sage green cabinets, Wren and Rhodes’s kitchen has dark espresso cabinets and pastel yellow walls, making you feel like you’re outside on a bright South Carolina afternoon.
A smile splits my cheeks when I walk further into the space and lay eyes on my little hooligan. Crew has managed to open the cabinet nearest the pantry door and is feeding the giant gray Newfie a bully stick, his delighted giggles echoing around the room.
Wren sighs in exasperation but still follows them to the floor, doting on the dog and my son as usual.
“So,” she singsongs. “Lost another nanny, did you?”
Her little smirk has me rolling my eyes and leveling her with an unamused look. “This one decided that after puttin’ the raptor in his bed, she’d play dress up and wait in my bed for me to get home from the second half of a grueling two-a-day.”
At least she has the decency to look chagrined while trying to stifle a snort, but she does a piss-poor job of it.
“Sorry, Aid. But wait, won’t they just send somebody from the travel agency over for the season? You made it sound like you were up sh—” She glances at Crew with a grimace. “— sugar creek without a paddle.”
Heaving a long sigh, I sit at the island and drop my head into my hands, using my fingers to massage the renewed throbbing in my temples.
“That’s the thing; they don’t have a single person available on short notice. Not to mention, Crew is almost six. So unless I wanna hire three different people, I need somebody who can double as a nanny, a teacher, and who can move in and travel with us on a moment’s notice.”
Wren is quiet for several long moments, and when I think she isn’t going to respond, her eyes light with excitement. “Okay, before you say no, hear me out! I might just have the perfect idea.”
Well, that rarely ends well.