Chapter 9
9
AIDAN
The first thing I do when I get in my truck is open a new text to Wren, hoping she’ll let me pick her brain for the answers I know I probably won’t be able to get out of my nanny.
Me
Please tell me you know if Lyla likes her birthday
Future Mrs. Gray
I’m not sure, but thanks for reminding me it’s coming up! Why do you wanna know?
Me
… No reason.
Future Mrs. Gray
Aidan, you need to be careful.
Her comment digs at me for the rest of the drive, so I call her once I navigate the mostly empty parking lot and find an open space .
She answers on the first ring. “Before you get all huffy with me, I didn’t mean it like that. Out of all the men I know, you would be so good for her, please don’t doubt that. But from everything Ly told me, she left a really awful situation back in Maryland, which wasn’t exactly resolved. I don’t know exactly what it was, but what if y’all get involved, and her past comes back to bite her? You’re a public figure and a father, Aidan.”
Shit. I didn’t even consider that. I heave a deep sigh into the receiver, and it echoes on the other end of the line. “I think I like her, Wren.”
“I figured. Has she given you any indication that she feels something for you beyond friendship?” she asks.
Has she? Not really. “Honestly, I don’t think so. But I’m not sure I’d know even if she had because I’ve been so adamant that she’s off limits. I don’t even know why I feel like this. I just know how I feel when I see the way she looks at Crew.”
My words trail off because that’s not entirely true. “I also know how it makes me feel every time she talks to me like I matter. Not because I’m her boss or because I’m Crew’s dad. She talks to me like she cares about my well-being,” I murmur.
Wren lets out a quiet sigh that echoes through my car. I run my hands through my shaggy hair and make a mental note to get it cut before the season officially starts. “You feel all that even though she’s only been around for a few weeks?”
A self-deprecating chuckle escapes. “Fucking insane, isn’t it? Jesus, listen to me! ‘ I like her because she acts like she cares.’ I’m her boss. Of course she’s nice to me!” Confusion thrums through me as conflicting thoughts run rampant in my brain. Am I so lonely that I see something that isn’t there?
“Aidan,” Wren scolds. “ Breathe . If Lyla didn’t like you or you were making her uncomfortable, you would know. She has had nothing but glowing things to say about you and my little pumpkin butter. I know she loves her job, and I could easily see her loving y’all. I just want you to take it slow and be cautious for all three of your sakes.”
Her words soothe some of the overwhelming turmoil coursing through my body, and I take a deep breath. “Level with me here: is it selfish for me to want her? To think about going after her this soon? She’s been everything to Crew the last few weeks, and I can’t handle watching him lose someone he cares about so much. But she’s… god, she’s unreal, Wren. She’s sweet and smart and brave and she makes me feel seen.”
She’s quiet for several beats but eventually hums in contemplation. “I don’t think your needs can take a backseat for his entire life, Aid. If you’re serious about wanting Lyla, even knowing there are things in her past she isn’t ready to share, then I say be a little selfish. I said it once, and I’ll say it again. She couldn’t end up with a better guy than you.”
I’m thankful she can’t see me when a blush heats my cheeks.
“Hey, why did you ask me about her birthday, anyway? We have the last set of spring training exhibition games next weekend, so you won’t be around.”
A smirk tugs at my lips, because I already knew that. “I know. Any way you can help me rearrange things and turn Crew’s party into a surprise joint birthday party for Friday before we leave? And also possibly swing me a ticket on the home side for both games? ”
Wren hesitates for a moment before an offended scoff escapes. “Have you met me? Of course I can.”
I hesitate on the next part but ask anyway, knowing it’s important to the plan. “And how do you think Kaci and Dominic would feel about having a sleepover with Crew for the weekend?”
Rhodes’s folks always ask to see Crew, but I feel guilty whenever I ask them to keep him longer than a few hours. All I can hope is that the time alone with Lyla will be worth missing him for a few days.
Her smug look is practically slapping me across the face through the phone, making me groan as she cackles wildly. “Oh man, this is gonna be great. I’ll text Kaci now and let her know they’ll get to play grandparents for the weekend with Finnegan and the birthday boy.”
Thankfully, we already have Crew’s party planned, so he hasn’t been upset knowing I’ll be gone on the actual day.
Here’s hoping this doesn’t all blow up in my face.
The next morning, I hide a nervous grimace behind my overly large coffee cup when I hear Lyla’s soft footsteps padding down the staircase.
I couldn’t sleep for shit last night with the way my nerves were eating me alive, so I tossed and turned until four before I finally gave up and went down to the basement to work out. I pushed myself harder than I have in months in a futile attempt to burn off some of the anxious energy that’s been plaguing me since my conversation with Wren.
The fear of being rejected by the first woman I’ve genuinely been interested in since Crew was born has my stomach violently twisting in on itself.
Each soft step I hear threatens to make the coffee I’ve been sucking back for the last half hour come back up. It’s been tortuous waiting to see if she would be up for what’s become something of our daily routine.
Every morning since the first time I came down to find her cuddled into the couch with her coffee, we’ve ended up on the back porch swing together.
Some days, we talk about a little bit of everything, and some days, we don’t talk at all, but I cherish our quiet time together so much. She’s vulnerable and soft and so damn sweet, it’s no wonder I developed feelings for her so fast.
“Good morning!” Lyla chirps with a sleepy smile as she makes her way to the coffee pot. God, she’s even more stunning first thing in the morning. As usual, her long brown hair is tied up and messy on top of her head, and she’s in yet another cherry-print sleep set.
I almost let a laugh slip free when I see her cute little shirt. Two cherries on the stem are holding hands underneath the words “I’ll always pick you.”
I wait for her to doctor up her tooth-achingly sweet coffee before asking if she wants to go sit on the porch swing and watch the sun rise. She nods with a smile and follows right behind me, none of the hesitation from her first week with us present in her movements.
“Everything okay?” she asks softly. “You seem more keyed up than usual for six in the morning.”
Oh, angel, you have no idea.
Clearing my throat, I stare into the mug in my hands as nerves steal my voice for several long moments. “You know I have another away series this weekend in New York, right? ”
“Of course! I have your whole schedule memorized,” she titters nervously, her cheeks flushing just a bit as she sips her coffee.
Wringing my hands together nervously, I ignore the way her perceptive eyes track the action. “So, um… I was wondering if you would maybe want to come with and make a weekend out of it. Wren snagged me some tickets, so you can come to the games if you want. We can go sightseeing, find some really good pizza…”
Lyla’s face lights up brighter than I’ve seen it in the month she’s been with us. “I would love that!” She bounces around in her seat, making me laugh when the wide swing begins to sway back and forth.
Her grin settles some of my worry, at least until she says her next words, and then my insecurities come roaring back in full force. “Has Crew ever been to New York before? He’s going to have a blast. I wonder if?—”
Taking a risk, I set my free hand on top of hers on the lounger, startling her into silence.
But again, she doesn’t flinch or pull away.
Leaning down the slightest bit to catch her eye, I take a deep breath, my heart pounding so hard that I absently wonder if she can hear it. “I was kind of thinking Crew could spend the weekend with Rhodes’ parents.”
Her eyes widen in confusion and I almost lose my train of thought when I see the way they sparkle in the golden light of sunrise. The green lightens to that perfect sage color I love so much, and what looks like brown freckles dot her irises.
“But…” she pauses, brows furrowing. “If Crew is staying here, why would you need me to go with you to New York?”
I keep my expression open and don’t say anything for a minute, waiting. I see it the second the wheels start to turn in her head, and she exhales softly.
“Oh.”
She doesn’t say anything else, and I school my expression, keeping the disappointment off my face at the sharp sting of her rejection. Removing my hand from where it still rests on hers, I try to fix the mess I just made. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t set out to make you uncomfortable, and maybe I’m just seeing things that aren’t there, but I thought…” I sigh, rubbing my hands down my face, hard-earned calluses catching on the thick layer of blond stubble that currently covers my cheeks and jaw.
Her frown is like a punch in the gut, stealing any semblance of hope and making me nauseous.
God fucking dammit. You’re her boss, Aidan. She’s been here a month and has given no clear indication she’s even slightly romantically interested in you. Just because you’re pathetically lonely and desperate for attention doesn’t mean your son’s nanny is interested in anything more than friendship.
I’m pretty sure I just ruined one of the best things my son and I have ever had.