16. Xed
Chapter sixteen
“ X ed, sit down. You’re driving me crazy.”
Pacing a groove into the floor, I throw Matty’s sister a sharp glare over my shoulder in the hospital waiting room.
“How the fuck aren’t you freaking out right now? She’s high , Jenna. The baby wasn’t even due for another two months!”
She sighs, her white-blonde hair bouncing as she rises from her chair. “I know. But it’s going to be okay, I promise. Babies are born premature all the time, and this hospital is the best in the state.”
“I’m kind of with Xed on this one,” Taylor mutters, looking as ragged as I feel, slumped against Christian. He just spent six months behind bars for physical assault—another weight on my already crumbling conscience. “Premature is one thing. But Valerie’s cracked out of her mind right now.”
God, I hate her. I fucking hate her.
My hands curl into fists at my sides, nails biting into my palms as my chest heaves. What kind of mother does this? What type of person?
Jenna steps closer, her palms raised like she’s talking to a wounded animal. “Xed, you being pissed off right now isn’t going to help Matty or the baby. ”
I round on her, my voice shaking with anger I can’t contain. “And what is? Sitting here twiddling our goddamn thumbs? Pretending everything’s fine? It’s not fine, Jenna. It’s never fine with her.”
Christian reaches out, gripping Taylor’s shoulder like he’s holding them both together. “Jenna’s right. This isn’t about Valerie right now. It’s about the baby. Focus on that, man.”
Jenna’s hand hovers near my arm. “Do you want Matty to see you like this when he walks through those doors?”
Her words hit like a gut punch, stealing my breath.
I drop into the nearest chair, burying my head in my hands.
The past seven months have been rough—rougher than I thought possible. Helping Matty prepare for a newborn while Valerie fucked off to do whatever she wanted has been like running a marathon with no end in sight.
Initially, she wanted to give the baby up for adoption. Said she wasn’t ready, didn’t want the responsibility. But Matt wasn’t having it. He swore up and down he’d quit football and drop everything if it meant being a full-time parent. Said his kid deserved better than being handed off to strangers.
Jenna and I wouldn’t let that happen. No way. We agreed to step in and do whatever it takes to ensure he keeps his grades up and doesn’t lose his scholarship.
“Are your parents coming?” I ask Jenna, my hand twitching to tug at my hair before I remember the mohawk’s gone, shaved down to a strip.
“They said they’ll be here as soon as they can,” she replies, crossing her arms tightly. “Mom’s in Georgia for work, and Dad just got to Idaho. ”
Good. Matty’s gonna need all the support he can get, especially with his baby mama out there stuffing whatever she can find up her nose instead of stepping up.
My jaw clenches, the anger bubbling under the surface barely kept in check. Matty deserves so much better than this mess.
As if on cue, the double doors to the labor unit swing open, and Matty steps through, looking utterly drained, his hospital smock hanging loose over his clothes.
The four of us rush over, but it’s my hand he reaches for, taking me off guard. We’ve hardly touched in months, and the feeling of his skin on mine sends an electric current racing up my arm, burrowing into my chest.
God, I’ve missed him.
Other than the occasional instinctive cuddling in our sleep—moments I’ve clung to desperately—we’ve kept our distance. And it’s killing me. I crave him in ways I can’t put into words, in ways I’m not even sure he’d want.
But I know he’s not ready. He might never be.
And that’s okay.
I’m not going anywhere.
“They’re both okay,” he breathes, dark circles under his eyes. “The baby...she’s okay. She’ll have to spend some time in the NICU because she’s tiny, but they said her heart sounds strong.”
Jenna squeaks, her entire face lighting up as tears spill over her cheeks. “She?”
“Yeah,” he squeezes my hand, a tired smile on his lips. “A baby girl. Hannah Rose, after mine and Val’s grandmothers.”
Taylor throws his arms around him while Christian slaps him on the shoulder, relief softening his features. “Matty’s a daddy! Holy shit! ”
“Can we see her?” I croak, the words slipping out before I can stop them. I’m not even sure why I’m asking. For months, I’ve resented that tiny human growing inside the woman who’s hurt Matty more times than I can count. But now… seeing the pride and love shining in his eyes, I feel something crack inside me.
Matty nods, palm warm against mine. “She has to be incubated for a while until she...until she gets through the withdrawals and gains some weight, but yeah, we can see her.”
My chest tightens at the thought of her so small, so fragile, already fighting battles she didn’t ask for. The anger for Val intensifies, threatening to swallow me whole. How could she do this to him? To this life she created against Matty’s will?
Judging from the looks on Jenna, Taylor, and Christian’s faces, they all feel the same.
He leads us down a maze of hallways, past door after door until we finally reach a wide window. The room beyond is bathed in soft, sterile light, and my heart stutters as I peer inside.
There, in a small glass incubator, is the tiniest human I’ve ever seen.
“There she is,” Matty whispers, pointing her out, his voice breaking.
Jenna gasps beside me, her hand flying to her mouth. “She’s so little… all of those tubes and monitors…”
“I know.” He nods, his jaw tight, eyes glistening. “Barely two pounds. We can’t hold her yet. Not until she’s more stable.”
I slide my arm around his middle, grounding him as best I can. My gaze shifts back to the tiny swaddled human in the incubator, and my chest tightens all over again. Jesus, who knew preemies were this small? She can’t be any bigger than my palm .
Taylor taps on the glass lightly, grinning and waving as if the fussing baby can somehow see him. “Aw, a baby Matt. So fuckin’ cute.”
“Language, dumbass,” Christian mutters, smacking him upside the head. “Little ears.”
“You literally called your ten-year-old sister a shithead yesterday, don’t start,” Taylor fires back, rubbing the back of his head.
“I’m an aunt,” Jenna marvels, her voice hushed with awe.
For a split second, my stomach twists. The word aunt pulls me back, dragging old wounds to the surface. My scars itch under my sleeves, memories of Aunt Pearl flashing uninvited in my mind—until Matty’s fingers sink into the back of my neck, rubbing away the tension there.
But Jenna isn’t like that. She’s an amazing, warm, kind-hearted woman who’d never tear down her own flesh and blood just for being a kid. The baby is lucky to have her.
No, not the baby .
Hannah.
She’s not just a fragile little thing in an incubator. She’s a whole little human with a name.
“How’s Valerie doing?” Jenna asks, her voice careful, but the question makes Matty stiffen beside me.
“She’s, uh… out of it,” he mutters, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Child Protective Services was in there with the cops when I left. From what it sounds like, she’ll be going to rehab once she’s sober enough to leave the hospital. If she even wants to keep custody, anyway.”
We fall into a heavy silence, everyone processing that information. My hand tightens around Matty’s as a soft, broken sound escapes his throat—a sob he tries to choke back but can’t quite contain.
Without thinking, I throw my arms around him as tightly as I can while he fights back the wave of emotion threatening to overwhelm him.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this alone,” he whispers into my scalp, his voice trembling.
Before I can respond, bodies press in from all sides.
“You’re not alone, Matty,” Jenna says firmly, wrapping him in a fierce hug.
Taylor and Christian crowd in, too, their arms joining Jenna’s in a circle around him.
“Yeah, hermano , we’ve got you. All of us. We can do this.”