28. Matty
Chapter twenty-eight
A fter consoling a very upset Huckslee, I immediately make my way over to Taylor when I return inside the bar.
“Your stepbrother is ordering the entire menu on your tab. You might want to close it.”
“Fuck me,” he mutters, shoving his pool stick into my hand before going after Huck.
Scanning the room for Xed, I find him on a stool at the end of the bar with his head bent, and I step up behind him to place my chin on his shoulder. He shoves me off as he takes a giant gulp of beer, causing me to step back with a frown.
“Why are you mad at me?”
“Who says I’m mad?” he snaps, avoiding my gaze.
I scoff as I cross my arms. “We’ve been together for how many years now? Over thirteen? I know when you’re upset.”
He slams his mug down on the bar, throwing me a cutting glance. “We haven’t been together. We’re just friends.”
“Well…” My brows furrow as I wrack my brain, trying to figure out why he’s acting this way when his dick was in my mouth not ten minutes ago. “Well, yeah. Best friends. Partners in crime.”
“And is that it?” Turning fully toward me, he searches my gaze, expression guarded. “What are we doing, Matty? ”
I open and close my jaw, at a loss for words. The crowd grows loud as a DJ starts karaoke, and I study Xed silently as he chugs the rest of his beer.
Because honestly, I don’t have an answer.
We’re… definitely doing things two platonic friends would not be doing, but I don’t want to stop. I like touching him, kissing him, making him come.
God, I love making him come so much. Sometimes it’s all I can think about.
“Forget I said anything,” he mutters, throwing a few bills on the table before sliding off the stool, and I swallow hard as I watch him walk back to the pool table.
He avoids me the rest of the night, hardly speaking to anyone. Taylor’s also in a pissed-off mood, watching his stepbrother make a drunken fool of himself, and Christian keeps disappearing into the bathroom with a different girl on his arm.
We all decided to go out tonight to forget our worries, yet here I am, worrying about Xed and what I must have said that hurt his feelings, playing pool by myself until last call.
Xed waits for me by the front door while I put away everyone’s cues, and when we exit out into the night, we’re immediately struck by the sight of Taylor and Huckslee embracing against the building. They jump apart when they see us, Huck wobbling slightly, and my brows jump because what is happening there?
“What’s going on, Tay?” Christian asks slowly, coming up behind us with some blonde lady on his arm, and I don’t miss the way Huck’s face falls before he spins around to leave, Taylor running after him.
As much as I’d like to watch the show…I’ve got my own issues to figure out, so I nudge Xed with my elbow and gesture to ward the Subaru to leave. The plan was to have Taylor drive us all home tonight since he doesn’t drink, but I’ve only had one bottle of beer all night. Couldn’t drink with my best friend being mad at me. Xed must feel the same because he hardly drank, either.
After saying our goodbyes, we slip into our respective places, Xed behind the wheel while I play passenger princess. He turns on some music, letting it softly fill the silence as he takes the long way home. He’s probably dreading being alone with me in our bed, and I hate that.
“Xed,” I start, reaching for his hand curled tightly in his lap. “Please talk to me. What did I do?”
Exhaling sharply, he weaves his pinky with mine, eyes on the windshield. “What time do you have to pick up Hannah from Jenna’s tomorrow?”
“I don’t know, like nine. Stop avoiding the question.”
“I’m not,” he tosses me a glare, harsh features lit up by passing street lights. “I think I want… I want to take things further. With you.”
“What?” I squeak, clearing my throat to sound more manly because that was embarrassing. “I mean, what? Further, how?”
His pinky flexes against mine. “Sex, Matthew. I’m talking about sex.”
He… oh my God. Like the sex . My mouth goes dry, and I see visions of Xed bent over for me. Or him above me while my knees are to my chest, splitting me open. The image has my cock thickening in my jeans, but…
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” He tilts his head, casting me a sideways glance as he exits the freeway. “You don’t want that?”
Duh .
“Of course I do, Ducky, but do you ?”
He huffs in annoyance. “Why the fuck would I bring it up if I didn’t want it?”
With a shrug, I lick my chapped lips. “Maybe because you think I do? Like I miss it or something?”
“Do you?” He challenges, meeting my gaze with sad, gold-flecked eyes.
I take a moment to think about what he’s asking.
Do I miss sex with women? Not particularly. I still find them attractive, don’t get me wrong, but no girl has ever made me feel like Xed does. Not that I’ve been with many.
I don’t know if it’s because we have history or because I know him like the back of my hand, but being with my best friend is exhilarating. It’s fun and hot, and the fact that it’s taking our friendship to another level just makes me want it more.
So I tell him as much.
And what does this asshole do at my declaration? He scoffs .
“I’m being serious,” I whine, trying to untangle our fingers, but he holds on tighter.
“I know you are. It’s adorably disgusting.”
“Shut up.” Leaning over the center console, I kiss his neck, smiling when he shudders. “Does that mean you aren’t mad at me anymore?”
“I’m… still thinking about it.”
“Let me convince you to forgive me.”
Pulling his soft skin between my teeth, I gently suck and nibble on his throat until we’re home, loving the way he whimpers and writhes in his seat. Once we’re parked on the curb, he practically yanks me out of the car, dragging me up the steps and through the front door before shoving me onto the couch .
“Ouch, fuck.” One of Hannah’s toys jabs me in the spine, and I toss it onto the floor with the rest of them as Xed climbs onto my lap. His eyes are blown wide, a noticeable bulge in his crotch, and I gasp when I spot the bruise on his neck. “Shit, I gave you a hickey.”
“Good,” he growls, biting down on my earlobe because he knows how horny I get when he does that. “I want your marks on me, Matty. Let people know who I belong to.”
Holy shit. Those words make my cock harder if that’s even possible. He grinds down on it, riding me through the material of our pants, and I want that barrier gone.
He seems to have the same idea, his fingers flying for his belt buckle while I undo mine. Once our dicks are out, I position our tips, preparing to dock again since that’s our favorite thing, but he grabs my wrist to stop me.
“Wait. Hang on.” Biting his lip, he looks down at me, his eyes glittering. “I wasn’t lying in the car. I really do want to fuck.”
“Yeah?” I swallow, breath growing shallow when he starts to jerk us slowly. “But who’s going to…you know?”
With a smirk, he licks along the seam of my lips teasingly. “Bottom? I don’t care. I’ll do whatever you want, Matthew.”
I groan, thrusting up into his palm, imagining what it would feel like to be inside of him and then vice versa. “Can we do both?”
Xed snickers, sliding off my lap to remove his clothes. “We can try.”
Yeah, I’m good with that. Try all night if we have to.
Following his lead, I kick off my shoes and toss the sweater, pulling off my jeans just in time for my best friend to tackle me onto the cushions after laying down a blanket. I’m much beefier than him, so I don’t go down easily, and we scuffle for a second, our bodies gliding together. We’re all tongues, lips, and teeth, biting and licking each other like we’re cannibals, but it’s the sexiest thing to be this gone with him, both of us lost to the moment.
It’s not until he has me on my back, pushing a leg up to my chest, that I panic slightly. “Don’t we need lube or something?”
That’s how anal sex works, right? I’ve never done it, but I’ve watched enough porn to know.
He gives me a funny look before reaching down to grab a bottle of lotion from the coffee table. “We can use this.”
“Is that…safe?”
“Why not?” With a shrug, he pours some onto his fingers. “Says it’s for sensitive skin. I’m pretty sure the asshole is the most sensitive part of your body.”
Makes sense to me.
Meeting my gaze, Xed runs his fingers down my crease, slipping between my cheeks. The minute his touch swipes across my hole, I clench with a jolt, the feeling foreign. A ball of anxiety swells in my gut, and the minute he prods my opening, my muscles lock into place. “Is it…will it hurt?”
Wetting his lips, Xed leans over to kiss me softly, wrapping a free hand around my cock. “I won’t let it. I’d never hurt you. I promise.”
Just like that, I immediately relax, going pliant beneath him as he starts to stroke me slowly. Because this is Xed, the guy who’s been by my side for as long as I can remember. My best friend, my ride-or-die, the one person who makes me feel invincible. I trust him with my life.
His finger slides in an inch at a time, the pace so slow and gentle that I’m nearly coming by the time he adds in a second, making me moan.
“Feel good, baby?” he asks, voice thick with desire as he continues to jerk me, and I nod eagerly.
“So…so good. Don’t stop.”
There’s a slight sting when he stretches me three fingers wide, but I barely register it when he wraps his lips around my cock and pokes something that has me erupting like Old Faithful.
“Oh, god,” I cry out, thrusting on his fingers as I come down his throat, toes curling from the electric current coursing through my veins. “What the fuuuck? ”
What just happened? Why did that feel so fucking good?
Chuckling, he pops off of me, pulling his fingers from my ass when I go limp. “I’m pretty sure that was your prostate.”
“I hate you.” Groaning, I reach down to cup my sack, hissing at how sensitive it feels now. Jesus Christ. “I’m getting you back for that. See how you like it when your balls ache.”
“You can have your revenge later.” He grabs the lotion again, coating his palm before bringing it to his dick. “I need to get inside you before I come too. That was fucking hot.”
I’m so exhausted by that mind-numbing orgasm that I don’t even tense when he positions himself at my hole. After lubing up some more, he pushes forward slowly, capturing my mouth when I gasp at the sudden burn. As soon as his crown pops through that first ring of muscle, though, it feels… fucking incredible. It’s still stinging but so full. Connected with him in a way we’ve never been.
“Fuck, baby,” he breathes, resting his forehead against mine. “You… I’m inside you right now. I don’t think I’ll last.”
Swallowing hard, I kiss him slowly, shaking from the sweat forming on my skin. “Is this your first time? ”
I know the answer, but I want to hear it from him. I want to watch the words fall from his lips.
Pulling back, he blinks down at me, eyes glazed with pleasure and a vulnerability that makes my heart hurt. “Am I doing something wrong?”
“No, no,” I shake my head quickly, wrapping my arms and legs around him even though the position is slightly awkward. “You’re doing so good, Ducky. Fuck, I’m so full. I just…want to be your first.”
Huffing, he lays himself flat on top of me, burying his face in my chest. “Who else, Matthew? You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.”
The weight of those words settles over me as he starts to move, thrusting in and out so softly that all I can do is whimper as my eyes sink closed.
You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.
He fucks me gently like he’s afraid of hurting me, and I’m tempted to roll us over so that I can show him how great we can be, but I don’t. Instead, I just hold him, moving to his rhythm, both of us moaning and breathless. There’s something so right about this, about us in this moment, and I tilt his head to join our lips. Xed has always been mine. And I’ve always been his.
Nothing will ever change that.
“I’m going to come,” he grits out, leaning up to grab my hips, and the position makes his cock tap my prostate.
“Yeah, fuck. Come inside me.” I’ve never been able to orgasm twice in a row, but Xed makes it happen. As he picks up his pace, slamming his hips forward, my entire body heats, and my release splashes between us.
Xed goes absolutely still, sliding all the way inside when he starts to come. It’s the most amazing sight. He throws his head back in pure ecstasy, throat working with a whine as he unloads completely before collapsing on top of me, both of us heaving.
Sweat, warmth, and Xed flood my senses, making me shudder violently.
Holy shit. My best friend just fucked me.
I just had sex with a man.
The implications of that start to hit me as I gaze at the ceiling, a ragged breath leaving my lungs.
“Hey.” Tilting his head, Xed studies me before taking my face in his hands. “You’re shaking. Was I too rough?”
Words are beyond me, too embarrassed to tell him that this is normal for me, that I fucking cry after sex, so all I do is shake my head and guide him back down onto my chest. His dick slides out, the weirdest feeling in the world, and I grimace into his scalp. It’s not unpleasant, just…not what I’m used to.
We lay like that for a long while, the sweat and cum cooling on our skin. His thumb rubs calming circles into my hip as he stares at the blank TV screen, brows pinched in worry. Once the shivers wracking my body finally stop, I sigh in relief, murmuring into Xed’s skin.
“Sorry. Not sure why that happened.”
“Adrenaline crash, maybe.” Leaning up, he searches my face anxiously. “Emotional drop. Panic attack.”
“Hmm.” Suddenly exhausted, I yawn before pulling the blanket over us. “I don’t know, I feel fine now. Just sleepy.”
He frowns, still watching me closely. “You sure?”
“Yeah. How about you? Are you okay?”
His brows jump up. “I just lost my virginity, so…yeah, I’m okay.”
“Okay.” Pulling him closer, I close my eyes, not even caring that we’re naked or using Hannah’s Bluey blanket to cover ourselves. I’ll throw it away in the morning. Buy her a new one.
“Matty,” Xed whispers, placing a kiss on my pec. “We should probably talk about what just happened.”
But I don’t want to talk. I want to close my damn eyes and process.
“Tomorrow. Let’s just sleep, okay? It’s probably like five in the morning.”
I can tell he doesn’t like that answer, but he settles in anyway, moving to the side so I’m between him and the cushions. The warmth of his body pressed against me is comforting, keeping me tethered. I sigh contentedly before letting his heartbeat lull me to sleep.
Tomorrow. We’ll have plenty of time tomorrow.