26. Nina #2
My heart seizes in my chest. No, he can’t be falling for it. Not him. I can’t lose him because of Mom. Because of whatever twisted game she’s doing now to punish me for keeping this from her. That’s the thing with Mom, there’s no winning.
“Give me a pregnancy test,” I say. “I’ll prove to you she’s lying.”
“Yes,” Mom says. “Get five, just to make sure.”
I blink at Mom in shock. If I took a test right now, it’d prove she’s lying. But she’s not worried, and that doesn’t make sense.
“Please, Evren,” I beg. “I’m telling you the truth. Mom’s wanted the jacket since I’ve moved here. We never talked about you, not once, because she didn’t even know who you were until she saw that photo.”
“Oh, I’ve known all along that you’ve been roommates,” Mom says.
“No, you haven’t,” I say. “Just stop. How much is it going to take to get you to back off?”
“Back off? Baby, we’re just beginning.”
“I won’t allow you to do this,” I say. “I won’t allow you to hurt Evren.” He’s been hurt by too many people, and I refuse to be one of them. I’ll do everything I can to make sure of it.
“Oh really?” Mom asks, looking me up and down. “And what are you going to do?”
“I’ll sell the jacket; I’ll give you all the profits. Just stop with this nonsense.”
“I’m only looking out for my future granddaughter or grandson.”
That’s the thing with Mom and her lies. She never breaks character.
She’ll continue pretending like I’m pregnant for months, years even, just to make everyone around her believe it too.
To have people buy into the lie. But…maybe if I can get her to break, Evren will see what she’s doing, will see that she’s lying.
It’s just…if I do this, there’s a chance I lose them both.
I’ve never provoked Mom. She made sure to instill a fear of going against her at an early age.
But that also means I’m not sure how she’ll react.
And I also don’t know if Evren will even believe me.
If he’ll want me regardless of what happens now.
“Just imagine, I could move here, move in,” Mom says. “We would be one big happy family.”
The thought of living with Mom again is like a pair of heavy hands, reaching out and smothering me. No, I can’t let this continue. Even if I lose both of them, I can’t stand by and let this happen.
“You obviously didn’t teach me anything,” I say, “about trapping someone with a baby, especially when we all know how it went with Miguel.”
And just like that, with the mention of Miguel, the smile Mom’s had on her lips since walking into the living room slips off her face. “Watch your mouth,” she demands.
“Why?” I ask. “Because you’re afraid of the truth? I’ve watched you con people out of money my entire life. But you know who didn’t give you any? Your baby daddy. He did the opposite. He took everything from you instead.”
Nausea rises violently in my throat. Oh God, what have I done? Guilt comes crashing in like a tidal wave, screaming at me to take it back, to apologize. That I can’t talk to her like that, that something bad will happen if I do.
“You bitch,” Bonnie seethes, jumping to her feet. “I should’ve aborted you when I had the chance.”
I gasp, disbelief hitting me like a punch to the chest. She really went there . Every fragile hope I’ve clung to—that Mom would get sober, that maybe, somehow, we could rebuild what never really existed—shatters with her words.
I’ve been holding on for so long to a relationship with her, but all I’ve been doing is letting her tear me down, piece by piece.
“Enough,” Evren demands, coming to my side, sliding an arm around my waist. Thank God, because I’m about to collapse and he’s the only thing holding me up right now. He faces Mom and says, “You will never, ever talk about Nina like that again.”
“You don’t get to make that decision,” Mom says smugly, like she thinks I’ll forgive her after saying that to me. “I didn’t mean it. Nina knows that.”
“No,” I say, my entire body shaking uncontrollably. I’ve officially had enough. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t continue to have a relationship with Mom, not when she’s so destructive. “We’re done. I’m filing a restraining order against you, and I never want to hear from you again.”
Evren tightens his arm around me, as if in acknowledgement.
Mom laughs. “Sure, whatever you say.”
“I mean it this time,” I say.
“I think it’s time for you to leave,” Nate says, stepping in between Mom and us. “I’d be happy to escort you out.”
“This isn’t over,” Mom says, glaring at me. “You’re going to regret this.”
She storms to the front door, and it slams shut a moment later.
I stare at the door, my chest tightening.
The reality of what I’ve just done reverberating in my bones.
I’m done with her. For good this time. And I refuse to change my mind.
My breathing hitches, and the tears I’ve been holding back start to slip down my cheeks, slowly at first, then faster, until they’re falling in heavy streams.
Something inside me cracks open at the finality of it all.
I collapse to the ground. A sob escaping my throat, raw and uncontrollable, and before I know it, I’m crying harder than I ever have. All the years of hoping, of trying to fix something that was broken beyond repair, all the blame, the guilt—it all rushes out of me in a flood I can’t control.
Evren kneels down in front of me, and holds me while I grieve the loss of my mom, of the parent that she wasn’t capable of being.
I bury my face in his chest. “I don’t know why it hurts so much,” I confess, my voice breaking. “She’s never been a real mom to me…so why does it still hurt like this?”
His hand stills for a moment, and then lifts my chin up so that I’m looking at him. “Because you’re human,” he says, his thumb wiping away the tears from my cheek. “And because you wanted something she could never give you. You’re the strongest person I know, and I’m so proud of you.”
“But I don’t feel strong,” I whisper. “I feel so weak.”
“I think that’s what it feels like when you finally let go of something you’ve carried for too long,” he murmurs, voice gentle. “At least that’s my experience. It doesn’t feel good right away. It just feels…heavy. But eventually, it does get better.”
“I hope so,” I whisper. “And I know we talked about therapy before, but I think I really need it now.”
“Are you okay if I find you a therapist, or would you prefer to do it yourself?”
“Can you help?” I don’t have a clue where to begin, and I’m so tired of doing everything myself.
“Of course.”
I sigh. “I wasn’t lying when I said a restraining order won’t be enough. She’ll tell false stories to the press about us or do something else to get back at me. She’ll make our life a living hell. ”
“I know you’re afraid of her, but my lawyers and my security team will keep us safe.”
“Are you sure you’re ready for all this?” My voice shakes with the weight of my mother’s schemes. “For yet another person trying to take advantage of you or hurt you?”
“As long as we’re together, I don’t care.”
“Promise?” I ask, desperation creeping into my tone. “Because being with me isn’t easy. My mom will cause nothing but trouble for us, and then there’s us , the age gap. I don’t want you to wake up one day and regret being with me.”
“How could I ever regret the best thing that’s ever happened to me?
” He cups my cheeks, his gaze steady and sincere.
“I don’t see a gap—it’s just us. Age isn’t about numbers; it’s about what we’ve lived through, what we’ve faced.
And you and I, we’ve been through enough to know that we’re equals in every way that matters. ”
The fear that’s been wrapped around my heart loosens, and all that’s left is a steady rhythm. He’s not going anywhere . I let that truth sink into my soul, and for the first time in my life, I don’t have to keep looking over my shoulder, waiting for everything to fall apart.
With Evren, I’m finally allowed to believe in something real.