10. Stella
Chapter 10
Stella
“Yo, woman!” I called out to Dani Lynn, who had a scrunched-up face while she walked up the corridor. “What’s wrong?” I asked, looking around. I didn’t see anything. She held out the baby in her arms, and I gagged when I got closer. The smell coming from that little man…whoa doggies.
“I was just coming back here to change him. He stunk up the crafts area. Wanna help?” She laughed as I waved a hand in front of me.
“What are y’all feeding that poor kid? Jesus!” I followed her to the nursery, which was a few doors down the hall. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of the munchkins all complaining of a stinky butt in the room. They would all protest loudly. It was hysterical and always hard to not crack up when it happened.
“Formula. Most babies have stinky poo. Then again, most poo, no matter the source, has a possibility of being stinky.” Her laughter had me shaking my head all while trying to breathe and not gag again.
“You’re funny…” I grumped. She laid him on the changing table and had him undone, wiped, cleaned, powdered, and diapered in no time. But then again, she did have a shoe full of kids. What’s the saying, practice makes perfect? I think she had it all in hand. It would take me a bit to get that good. “Does that feel better, buddy?” I asked the baby while she went to wash her hands. I was all grins as I made faces at him. He paid me no attention, though. He just yawned and wiggled where he laid. Dani Lynn picked him up and without even having to ask, she handed him to me. I leaned him against my chest.
“You know you’re not a true bad-ass anymore, right?” Dani Lynn gave me a knowing look.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about. Don’t be cracked,” I grumbled and moved to sit in the rocking chair, one leg under me while the other went up on the ottoman which also rocked back and forth. The baby started to fuss; I guess he was tired. All they wanted at this age was a clean butt, food, and sleep. I didn’t blame them one bit.
I patted his back, kissing his head. He was safe here with us; I hope he knew that.
“Stella Grace.” She shut the nursery door and then moved back to the other chair, her eyes still locked on me. “You don’t have to pretend to be some cold-hearted woman. If you want to love on the kids, do it. We all know you want to.”
“It’s not that.” I sighed. “I’ve never wanted kids. You know that, and you know why. I’m still not sure I’ll know what to do with this little munchkin,” I patted my still-flattened belly, “But, finding this little one, seeing what someone could do to their own flesh and blood child. I mean, so many people want babies and can’t have them. This twatwaffle just tossed her precious—I get it, she was scared and whatever. I just don’t see why, for any reason, this kind of crap happens.”
“Why do men hit women? Why do kids run away? Why do women abandon their children? Why is the sky blue? Why is the sun yellow? Why does any of this happen? It’s one of those things you’ll never be able to understand, no matter how much you try. It’s like a scrabble game no one can win.” It was her turn to sigh. “All you’ll do is hurt your head trying to sort it out.”
“I know. I told Daddy and Trace that I’d be helping with this little man. You have your shoe full of munchkins, and Mama J has so much to do. She’s not a spring chicken anymore either.”
“I’ll pay you $500 right now, in cash, if you say that to her face.”
I made a face at her, then laughed right along with her. Jesus. “No way. She’d tan my ass. But I’m serious. I’ll be helping with the baby. As a matter of fact…he’s coming home with me tonight.”
“Stel, what about your hand?” she asked, looking at my bandages.
“I have Daddy and Trace to help. Plus, Shelby is going to check it again in a bit. It feels better, so I’m hoping it’s going to be bandage-free. I’m over this mess.”
Dani Lynn laughed, shaking her head. “Yeah, well, that serves you right. Next time you’ll know not to put your hand through a window or use a wooden bat against a two-ton truck.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head, a small yawn escaping me. “I guess. Louie deserved a better end to his life,” I pouted.
The intercom came to life. “Dani Lynn, please come to reception.” Mama J’s voice was soft. She didn’t sound worried or upset, so I was just going to sit right here and hold this baby.
“Duty calls. If you need anything, holler.”
I nodded, waving a hand. The chair rocked softly back and forth, reminding me of the nights I’d done something similar with Carter. Though back then, I’d curl both legs under me, sit with my back in the corner where the arm and back met, and rub his back until he was asleep. Some nights—most nights, I’d fallen asleep with him.
Pushing the chair back with my shoulders, I got it rocking. Carter, who was being a fussy butt, laid against my chest. I yawned as I covered us with a blanket. I was so sleepy tonight.
“It’s okay, buddy. Sissy will make it all better.” I spoke the truth as I knew it. I’d already changed his diaper and given him half a bottle of formula so he would sleep. I just had to get him to calm down to do so. I started singing to him. My smile was soft as the words left my lips. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star may not be a normal nursery rhyme or an appropriate one, but it would work. And I knew the words. He finally started to settle down. The darkness surrounded us now, so I closed my eyes, hugging him to me as best as I could.
Just as I’d sung to Carter so many times in the past, I started to sing. This was comforting. It reminded me of the times I’d spent with my nephews, Robbie and Matthew. I really did love this stage of their lives. Unlimited cuddles. Even when they were accompanied with stinky diapers, crying, and puking up sticky, smelly things. No one could ever say babies weren’t full of surprises for you.
I buried my nose into his neck, breathing in the scents of baby and powder. My eyes closed, and I continued to slowly rock us.
“Stel, hey, Stel.” A hand on my arm made me blink awake, grumbling at all the bright lights. Damn. I met the amused gaze of none other than Doctor Shelby McKenna. I flipped her off and sat up. Then I realized my arms were empty. I jerked up, gasping as I looked around on the floor.
“What’s wrong?” she asked me.
“The baby! Where is he? Did I drop him?”
“Hey, calm down. He’s fine. Dani Lynn took him a little bit ago to give him a bottle. You were sleeping, and she didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Oh. Damn. I didn’t even feel her taking him away. I’m getting slack in my old age.” We shared a look and a laugh. “Are you here to see someone? Did something happen?”
“No, not here for anything specific. I just stopped by to see if anyone needed anything. You know they’re not going to ask for doctors, so I put myself here. It usually makes them see we care and want to help so then they’ll come see me.”
“Cool. I like that plan. What can I do to help?” I asked, getting to my feet. I stretched my arms out and bent at the waist, cracking my shoulders and back.
“Come outside with me. We can try and talk to the new ladies that came in. They’re both shy and as skittish as a cat in a room full of dogs.”
I snorted. “We need to work on your choice of words. Room full of dogs. It’s a room full of rockers, crazy.”
Shelby shoved my arm gently as she went by. “It’s whatever I want it to be.”
I followed her down the hall, the two of us bickering back and forth until we were outside. I was laughing at her crossed eyes. She was such a dork.
“You’re a total?—”
“Auntie Stellllllllllla!” I turned just in time to see Kaitlyn barreling toward me. I scooped her up, covering her face with kisses.
“Hey, cutie pie. Your mama didn’t tell me you were out here.”
“We’re playing in the grass!” She was breathing heavily when I righted her and put her on my hip. A parade of little munchkins followed her. All of the kids were here. I laughed and crouched down to hug all of them. I gave Robbie a fist bump. It was his new thing. He saw the older boys doing it all the time, so now he had to as well. It was adorable.
“They’re waiting for the picnic and movie outside. Derek and Carter are over there setting up the big screen. We’ll pull out the big shade screen to make it easier to see if the sun doesn’t cooperate.” Dani Lynn came over, arms full of babies. Her daughter, Kimberly, and her granddaughter, Noelle, were both lying across her shoulders.
“Where’s the baby?” I asked, my nose wrinkling.
“Right here, I just needed to hold him for a few minutes.” Mama Jay was all smiles as she came toward our little group.
“Mommy, can I hold the baby?” Kaitlyn looked up at Shelby and grinned.
“Of course you can, sugar plum. Come sit over here, and let’s wipe off your hands and arms. We don’t want the baby to get dirty.” Shelby got her wiped down and in the chair. Mama Jay held their baby out, and they got him in her arms. My heart melted at the sight. That could be my kids in a few years. One asking to hold the new baby. That thought was a sucker punch to my gut. The air whooshed out of me, and I went down. Right on my ass.
“Stella! Are you alright?” Dani Lynn handed off the babies and knelt before me.
“Sissy!” Carter’s voice boomed out across the yard.
I held up a hand, trying to give myself a minute to sort out my shit. I was fine, just a bit overwhelmed. I had no one to blame but myself… Damn.
“Sissy. Are you okay?”
“Yes. I just needed to sit down,” I lied, but not really. I didn’t choose to sit down, but they didn’t need to know that. Right?
“Come on, she’s fine. Let her have some air. Stel, did you eat this morning?” Shelby asked, her fingers on my wrist.
“She did,” Carter answered. “Dad made French toast and bacon. She ate half a plate of bacon by herself.”
I snorted. “Don’t be telling all of my secrets, kid. Look, y’all, I’m fine; I just had a moment. I’m gonna have a baby. Someone I’ll have to take care of. I can barely take care of myself. It’s gonna be an adjustment. I’m still working that out in my head.”
“You’re gonna be fine, woman.”
I wrapped my arms around Robbie when he fell into me and blew a raspberry on his cheek. “I’m gonna eat me a Robbie sammich.” I tickled his sides and watched, laughing, as he danced around. It soon became a free for all. I was covered in kids, all trying to tickle me and save each other. The kid was safe from the sammich monster. I wrapped an arm around Tyler, who jumped at me and started to tickle her next.
“Stoooop…” she laughed as I tickled her more and more.
“Never. I have you now. You’re mine,” I laughed.
“Day Day, help me!” She wiggled, trying to get free. I scooped her up in my good arm and blew a big raspberry on her belly. She tried to push her shirt back down, but I wouldn’t let her.
“I’ll save you!” Taylor, Kris’ little monster, tried to tackle me to the ground. It almost worked too. I laughed again as I grabbed him, getting my hand around his ankle, and gently tugged him back to me, tickling the bottom of his bare foot. The peal of laughter that tore from him shocked me. After that, I was a goner. I had a pile of children ranging from eight, almost nine, to two climbing all over me. I laid back in the grass, getting a knee to the ribs, a foot in the thigh, and a hand squishing my boob. I shook my head and waved my arms.
“I give up. I give up,” I surrendered, panting for breath in the grass while they decided what to do with their prisoner. I chuckled and shook my head. Then my bladder made me sit up. “Okay, I gotta get up for a minute.”
“No!” Robbie said, sitting down on my leg.
I huffed. “Yes, I’ll be right back. I need to go potty.” He looked at me, then I guess he decided that I could go pee. Chuckling, I got up, wiped my hand on my shorts, and headed inside. “I’ll be right back!”
“I need to go too!”
“Me too. Me too!”
By the time we got inside, every kid had to pee. It was all hands on deck. Carter and Derek had the boys. Dani Lynn, Shelby, and I helped the girls go potty. It was exhausting work with so many of them but rewarding at the same time. I couldn’t wait ‘til I could experience these daily adventures with my own baby.
Trace and I would take turns taking them into the adult bathrooms. Cleaning hands. Wiping noses. Hugging them when they scraped a knee falling from a bike. We’d have to take the good with the bad and be ready for anything in between.