Chapter 11 #2
When I get home, I go to my football bag and grab his pair of boxers. Giving the ugly ass thing a once over, I toss it onto Bennett’s bed.
I need to stop caring so much about him. He needs to stop being in my damn head all of the time.
He’s not worth my time. He’s just my roommate. I’m going to pretend he doesn’t exist. I have school and ball to worry about. That's where my time is better spent.
Easier said than done.
Staying at home didn’t last long. After about half an hour, I was already sick of sitting alone with my thoughts, so I headed to the nearest bar.
It took me three drinks to realize how pathetic I looked.
Everyone around me looked like they were having the time of their lives, while I sat there alone, wallowing in my own self-pity.
When I pulled up Instagram and saw Taylor posting photos of the party , I got a bit of FOMO.
Why should Bennett get to go have fun while I’m sitting here miserable? Taylor is my girlfriend. I should be there with her, not him.
That's when I downed the rest of my drink and left the bar, deciding to walk to the party myself.
I texted Taylor to find out where they were. I wasn’t too pleased about the fact that it’s in the same neighborhood as Bennett’s parents. Would Coach or the dean interfere? Or would they let college kids be for the night? It is Halloween, after all.
It’s not until I show up at the house that I realize I’m very underdressed. I didn’t think to dress up, didn’t want to. My black hoodie and jeans are good enough for me.
People start to notice me, saying hi and calling out my name. I nod back, but don’t detour from my mission. Find the alcohol, get trashed alongside everyone else, and find my girlfriend to hang out with.
Yeah, that’s who I’m looking for. Not at all for the six-foot-tall hockey player, who makes me want to wrap my hands around his neck every time he opens his stupid mouth.
With his sexy lips and hair that I want to run my hands through. That moan, I want to hear that moan as he comes apart again, this time with my hands on him.
What the hell? Yeah, maybe drinking isn’t a good idea, because it’s clearly making me unstable right now.
Shaking my head, I frown hard. Fuck it, I need more alcohol to make me forget that asshole.
Reaching the kitchen, I find a few of my teammates pouring drinks. “It’s Easton!” Diego cheers.
“Hey,” I grunt. “Wanna share that?” I nod toward the bottle of whiskey in his hand.
“Hell yeah.” He grabs a glass and pours some before adding some Coke. “Welcome to my place, man. Help yourself.”
I nod in thanks, taking the drink and tossing it back. “Another.” I cough as the liquid burns its way down. Fuck, he makes them strong.
Diego chuckles, pouring me another.
I guess we’re getting wasted tonight.
An hour later, I’m feeling it hard. I haven’t found Taylor, Bennett, or Aria. They’re here, I texted Taylor to make sure.
It’s probably best if I stay far away from them right now. I’m pretty wasted, and god knows what would come out of my mouth.
“I gotta piss,” I grumble as I push away from the counter and stumble my way to the nearest washroom. After I’m done doing my business, I wind up lost as I try to make my way back to the kitchen, and end up in the backyard.
“What the fuck?” I groan. I’m about to turn around when I spot him. Bennett. He’s on the other side of the backyard, over by the firepit. He’s standing there laughing, with Roland.
My jaw grinds when I notice Roland’s arm is around his shoulder. When Bennett looks up at him, smiling generously, it's like a stab to the damn gut.
“Fuck this. And fuck him,” I growl.
“What?” a guy near me asks.
“Not talking to you,” I snap, then snatch his bottle of beer from his hand.
“Hey!” he shouts, but I’m already pushing my way outside. I find an empty chair, right in view of Bennett.
Sitting heavily, I lean forward on my elbows and stare at him. It’s as if I can’t look away, like I’m drawn to him.
I hate how handsome he is, how his smell drives me crazy, and that his voice, his laugh, shifts something inside me.
The sound he makes when he comes is carved into my memory. Something I can’t fucking get out of my head.
I want him out of my head. I hate him. I hate that I crave him. I hate that I feel anything toward him.
Stupid Bennett, with his stupid supportive parents and his stupid nice house.
He has it all. Everything he could ever want. So what if he lost the game tonight? It’s not the end of the damn world.
He had no right to look so upset with me earlier. He started it with my socks.
The socks, he said, he ‘didn’t mean to throw out.’ I call bullshit. He was probably just trying to make himself look good.
But... did he really go back to get them from the trash? Why would he do that? He hates me; they’re just stupid socks to him. So why would he try to get them back?
He’s lying. He didn’t. He wouldn’t.
Ugh! Why can’t my stupid brain just shut the hell up!?
As if Bennett can feel my gaze on him, his eyes flick in my direction. For a moment, I don’t think he can see me. I’m on the other side of the yard, hiding in the dark.
But then his brow furrows and I feel a wave of heat settle over me. Fuck.
Glaring right back at him, I take a swig of the beer. He gives his head a subtle shake before turning his attention away.
Just like that, he fucking dismisses me like I’m not worth his time.
My teeth grind. Fuck him. He’s not worth my time!
So why the fuck do I lean back in my chair and continue to glare at the fucker, while drinking this god-awful beer?
The longer I sit and watch, the more upset I get. I don’t fucking know why.
Every time Roland smiles down at Bennett, shifts his body closer, or laughs at what he says, the more the pain in my chest grows.
Why the fuck does he get to be out and happy? Why does he get to live his true self, without so much as a fucking blink of an eye, while I have to hide in the closet?
Why can he be gay, but it’s a death sentence for me?
It’s not fucking fair.
When Roland leans in and kisses Bennett, that's my last straw. My heart races as pain splinters through my chest. Throwing my beer bottle on the ground, it shatters as I stand to my feet. People look my way, but I don’t pay them any attention.
Stumbling around the side of the house, I find the gate that leads to the front yard.
I’m through with this night and done with him. Fuck that asshole. He can have Roland. He can have whoever he wants! I don’t fucking care who he’s with, but I’m not going to sit around and watch it.
I’m vibrating with anger as I walk down the street, my head spinning and my stomach turning. If it’s cold, I wouldn’t know. All I feel is anger, resentment, hurt, and longing.
Too many fucking feelings going on at once.
“Easton!” I hear my name being called.
Brows furrowing, I look over my shoulder. “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” I growl when I see none other than the bane of my existence.
What the hell is he doing following me?
“Go back to your boyfriend!” I shout, deciding to take a shortcut through the park.
“He’s not my boyfriend.” Bennett huffs, his voice sounding closer.
“Sure looked like it. Could the man be any more obvious? He was all over you.” I scoff.
“He was not. He had his arm around me. That's it.”
“You call shoving his tongue down your throat modest? You should look that word up.”
“What does it matter to you?” he asks. “Why do you care who does or doesn’t kiss me?”
“It doesn’t!” I shout as I jog down the little hill.
“Easton, where are you going? It’s dark out. You’re going to get lost.”
I snort. “I know this park like I know the back of my damn hand,” I shoot back.
This is the park Bennett and I would spend hours in as kids, exploring and making memories.
I know where I am. I know that the pond is to my right. The same pond we would skip rocks on, or go fishing in, even though there were no fish in the damn thing, and race our little paper boats.
And I know that the playground is to the left of me. The playground we’d spend hours on making up games and playing. Behind that is the treehouse.
The treehouse where we’d watch movies, have sleepovers, and play board games. The same treehouse that this asshole kissed me in, and had to change everything.
“It’s all your fucking fault,” I grind out.
“What is?” His voice sounds closer, making me jump.
“What the fuck, Bennett?” I growl. “Stalking me now?” I huff, turning in the direction of the trail, through the cluster of trees. It leads to an exit on the other side, right to the main road. Perfect.
“Me?” he mutters. “Pretty sure it was you who was sitting there watching me.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” I snort. “I was just sitting and drinking. It’s a free world, asshole.” How I wish that were true.
“With your eyes on me,” he points out.
“What are you even doing here?” I snap, spinning around to face him. My sudden stop catches him off guard, and he nearly bumps into me.
The moonlight is bright enough to light up most of the space around us, illuminating the confused expression on his face, like he’s not even sure why he’s here. “I wanted to check on you.”
“Why the hell would you do that?”
“I don’t know,” he mutters back. “Clearly, it was a stupid idea.”
I snort, shaking my head, the alcohol in me making my lips a little more loose then they have any right to be.
I’m not sure what I’m about to say, or do, but I know when my head is clear tomorrow, I’m going to regret it.
“You're obsessed with me, aren't you, Bennett?” Still doesn't stop me from opening my big mouth.
“Fuck you. You're the one obsessed with me.”
“Yeah?” I grin, stepping forward, causing him to take a step back. “Pretty sure it was your eyes on me as another man sucked your cock.”
“You were the one watching,” he says in a low voice.