Chapter 14
Bennett
Easton is avoiding me again. He’s doing what he did before. Staying out late and only coming back when I’m sleeping. I know a lot of it has to do with his shift at work and how late his hours are, but he’s gone even on the nights he’s not working.
The only way I know he’s been back is because the bed is a mess in the morning, and his dirty clothes hamper is full.
I thought after we had that talk, and he opened up to me, that things would change. I was wrong. If anything, it might have made things worse.
And I don’t know why.
Did he think I’d judge him, or make fun of him? Because I wouldn’t. Maybe he thought I’d pity him?
I don’t pity him. I hurt for him. To know that all this time he’s been hiding his sexuality because he feared for his life? It fucking killed me to hear that.
All I wanted to do was tell him I was sorry, that he didn’t deserve that, and that we could start over with a fresh slate. But before I could get any of that out, he took off. He ran like he always seems to do.
I’m trying to be understanding, because I get it. He’s afraid, confused, hurting, and closed off. He has every right to feel that way, but he can’t run for the rest of his life.
Are we just never going to talk about what happened? Never going to talk about the kiss again and everything that came after it?
Was his confession supposed to just be that? The answers I was looking for and now that they're out, that's it? No friendship, nothing more?
We’re just going to go back to acting like we’re strangers? Like we can’t stand one another?
I sure as hell can’t do that. And I don’t know how he could.
Even though he’s avoiding me, I’ve seen him watching me when we’re in the lunch room. He sits with his team, I sit with mine, but he’s watching me, always looking away when I catch him.
And when we’re studying in the library, he’s with his friends, I’m with mine. But I feel his eyes on me.
Somehow, everywhere I am, so is he. But any time I try to talk to him, he takes off.
It’s driving me fucking crazy.
“You okay?” Aria asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Huh?”
“Thinking about Easton again?” She gives me a sad smile.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I grumble, shoving a fork full of food into my mouth.
“Just give it time. Taylor says he’ll come around. It was a lot for him at one time. But I’m sure once some time has passed, things will get better.”
After Aria left with Taylor, and my conversation with Easton ended, I texted her. She returned to the dorm and opened up to me about everything.
She explained that the reason she drifted away from Tyler was because the more time she spent with Taylor, the more she realized that she might not like only men, and it confused her.
She blames herself for what happened between the two of them, but I shot that down fast. Just because she began developing feelings for someone else didn’t give him the right to cheat. He should have talked to her, and when they realized they weren’t meant to be, break up. It’s that simple.
Sadly, that's not how people think.
She told me nothing happened with Taylor until after she and Tyler broke up. Taylor didn’t know how she felt either, until the day I caught them kissing.
I guess I walked in on the big confession. I tend to have some of the worst timing.
When we talked, I told her I love her, I support her, and I’ll be there for her. Her new relationship doesn’t change how I see her.
Taylor and Aria are officially dating now, and though I’m happy for them, I also feel uneasy. I know they have reasons to hide their relationship, but everyone still thinks Easton and Taylor are together. Taylor isn’t cheating, but in a way, it feels like she is?
It’s not my situation, therefore I don’t have any right to judge them on it.
Maybe it’s just my own shitty past making me feel a certain way about it.
That’s why I shouldn’t be so pissed that Easton is avoiding me. What did I expect would happen? That just because he’s gay, we’re going to be together now?
I still have no idea if he has romantic feelings for me. If he does, could I weather a relationship with Easton while the world believes he belongs to someone else?
The idea turns my stomach.
“Whatever, I don’t care,” I mutter, looking down at the plate of food in front of me.
“Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that as you sit there and sulk.”
“What do you expect?” I sigh heavily, looking up at her.
“I found out that my ex-best friend, the guy who I kissed and then rejected me, actually did like me then? That he had feelings for me, and the reason he acted the way he did was out of fear? My head is a mess, Aria. There’s so much I want to say and do, but I can’t and fuck.
” I sigh heavily again, tossing my fries onto the plate.
We’re in her dorm eating takeout before the football game.
I kind of invited myself to the game. She was going to go with Taylor, but I couldn’t pass up the chance to see Easton on the field.
“I’m a mess, okay? Leave me alone.”
“Hey.” She grabs my hand, tangling her fingers with mine. “I know, and I’m sorry. This sucks, but I’m here for you.”
“Who’s there for Easton?”
“I am.” Taylor steps into the room. “He’s still ignoring you?”
“How did you guess?” I grumble.
“You like him, don’t you?”
“No.” I glare at her.
She grins, calling me out on my bullshit lie. “You do. And it’s okay.”
“No.” I shake my head. “It’s not like that. I just... I want to talk to him. Let him know I forgive him, you know? I want to put the past behind us and start over new. As friends. That's it.”
“Mhhmm.” She nods, not believing anything I’m saying.
And why would she? She’s right. I’m lying.
I don’t want to be just friends. Friends don’t think about how their cocks would feel inside another friend's ass, or their mouth wrapped around their shaft as they gag on it, while you cum down their throats.
But it’s not just sexual. I want to be near him, smell him, touch him.
God, I sound like an obsessed stalker.
“Ready?” She smiles down at Aria. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before, but it’s obvious these two are crazy about one another.
“Just about.” Aria looks at me. “You good?”
“Yeah.” I grab my takeout bag and toss it in her garbage can. “Let’s go watch a bunch of overgrown men throw a ball around.”
“How is that any different than you overgrown men knocking a puck around?” Taylor asks.
“We’re on skates. It requires more skill,” I deadpan.
“You are unbelievable.” Aria laughs. “Come on.”
“You’re only going to see Easton all hot and sweaty. Admit it.” Taylor laughs as we head out of Aria’s room.
“I don’t like you.” I glare at her.
“Yes, you do.” She smiles at me over her shoulder. “Everyone does.”
Ugh. I hate that she’s right. Taylor really is a good person, and she’s great for Aria. She’s even great for Easton. I can’t hate her.
The stands are packed. It’s the last game before Thanksgiving break and the school makes a big deal for the upcoming holiday.
There was a hilarious turkey parade, the cheerleaders did a special routine, and even the football players played some fun games with the kids in the crowd.
It puts everyone in good spirits. Oddly, even me.
Despite my dad coaching the football team, this is the first Thanksgiving game I’ve been to since I was a kid.
I’m not a football guy. My sport is hockey, but I can see the appeal.
Okay, mostly I like watching the football players running around in those tight pants. More specifically, Easton.
“Don’t think I don’t see you ogling.” Aria bumps her shoulder against mine.
My eyes snap away from where I was very much looking at Easton’s junk. It’s become a problem, really. It’s not healthy to think of someone's dick as much as I think of Easton’s.
Can you blame me, though? It was a very memorable moment, even if it ended on a bad note.
The sex was good. No, it was fucking phenomenal, and I want more.
That’s the problem though, I shouldn’t. But tell that to my dick.
“Shut up.” I laugh.
“I mean, I can’t blame you. He’s hot.” She shrugs.
“Hey.” I glare down at her. “Get your own man.”
“If I remember correctly, he’s not yours,” she points out. “Not until you stop being a chickenshit and talk to the guy.”
“I’m not the one who's avoiding him,” I grumble.
“Also.” Aria leans in and whispers. “I don’t need to find me a man, thank you. I have an amazing woman. That's all I need.”
I look at Taylor, who's not so discreetly smiling to herself as she watches the game, her cheeks pinken as she radiates obvious happiness.
My best friend makes her happy, and my heart softens.
Both Taylor and Easton have spent years hiding who they are for different reasons. They needed the lie to protect themselves.
I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for them. I have loving, supportive parents who are loud and proud about who they love and who they are.
Not everyone is lucky enough to have that kind of life.
Taylor deserves to be happy, and so does Easton.
My gaze drifts back to the field where he lines up for the next play. The game goes on, and the Silver Knights are killing it.
I can’t take my eyes off Easton. He’s playing like a beast tonight, and after what I’ve heard about him being off during practice during the past few weeks, I’m glad to see he’s back in his groove.
Because my attention is on Easton, I don’t see what happens next. The crowd lets out a collective worried sound, and I search for the source.
Roland is on the ground, and my dad and the ref are rushing over to him.
I jump to my feet, as my stomach fills my throat.
Worry consumes me, and I’m jogging down the bleachers before I even know what I’m doing.
I might not want anything more with Roland beyond friendship, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about the guy.