Chapter 15
Easton
“So Easton, how is football going?” Taylor’s dad, Roger, asks.
“It’s going well,” I tell him. “Our team is having a great year.”
“That's wonderful.” Lauren, Taylor’s mom, smiles. “Travis has said you boys are kicking butt.” She laughs.
“We definitely are.” I chuckle.
“Is the NFL still the plan for you?” Roger asks.
“Yup.” I nod. “I’m working hard to make sure it happens.”
“Good.” He nods. “If you and Taylor are going to build a life together, she deserves a husband who can support her.”
“Dad.” Taylor puts her fork down.
“Now, now, honey. I don’t mean to scold your boyfriend. I mean well, and I want nothing but the best for you. That means a good husband who is financially stable. You need someone who can support you and your children.”
I choke on the mouthful of turkey I just bit into, doesn’t help that it’s dry as hell.
“Children?” I rasp. “We’re only twenty-one. There’s still lots of time for that.”
“Also, we don’t even know if we want kids,” Taylor says.
“Nonsense.” Her mother waves her off. “Of course you want kids! They’re a blessing.
The best thing that could happen to you.
But not before you get married, of course.
” She looks at me. “You two have been together for nearly six years now. Have you thought about when you will settle down? With you graduating and beginning your careers, the sooner the better.”
“Mom,” Taylor hisses. “Stop. Can’t we just enjoy life while we’re young?”
“You’re not going to be young forever. Plus, having children while your body is in its best shape is important.”
Don’t get me wrong, I like Taylor’s parents; they’re decent people. They’re just too set in their ways and their old-school beliefs. And those beliefs just so happen to clash with who their daughter is.
I don’t care what they think about me, but I don’t want Taylor to deal with her parents looking down on her or being disappointed in her. Not that they have anything to be disappointed about. Taylor is an amazing person. Kind, loving, smart, and the best friend anyone could ask for.
It makes me sad that she has to hide who she is. She’s faced with a dilemma that is hard to manage. Either she holds herself back to keep her parents in her life, or she loses them so she can live as her true self.
Parents are supposed to love and support their children no matter what. Within reason, of course. I mean, if you're genuinely a horrible person, I wouldn’t expect it. Still, even then, it happens.
Taylor and I, unfortunately, weren’t lucky enough to land that lot in life.
There will be no traditional marriage for Taylor and me. No kids. Nothing like that.
I look over at Taylor, and she gives me the same uncomfortable look I’m feeling right now.
We can’t keep living like this, lying to the world. It’s only going to cause more bad than good, more pain than anything else. It worked at the moment it needed to, but now we’re dangerously close to the real world.
We’re going to need to have a talk to decide how long we can keep going on like this.
The rest of the dinner conversation is focused on football. I’d rather that than talk of marriage and babies.
Don’t get me wrong, I want both of those. But not with Taylor. Not with any woman.
Bennett flashes into my mind, and I quickly shut that down.
I did it again. I gave in to my urges, into that intense connection the two of us can’t shake.
We either want to fight or fuck, and there’s been no in between with us.
With every passing day, I grow weary of lying to myself.
The truth is, I don’t hate Bennett, and I never did. Did I envy him? Yes, maybe I even resented him a bit. But I never felt hate.
How could I? He’s never done anything wrong to hate him for. It’s not his fault that I have shitty parents and have to hide who I am. Or that he’s able to be out and proud, while I have to battle with who I am every day.
I’ve never thought about another man like I have with Bennett, and for a long time, I was unsure if I was even gay. Maybe I was bi, or demisexual, and just haven’t found the right girl. But if there ever was a girl to have deep feelings for, it would have been Taylor.
I’ve never seen her as anything other than a best friend. Nothing has ever been sexual. Well, besides the failed attempt at making Bennett think we were having sex.
With Bennett, though, it’s been both emotional and physical.
Sure, I’ve found other guys attractive, but none of them made me react the way Bennett does.
Taylor drops me off at the hockey house before heading back to her dorm. Her parents wanted her to spend the night, but I could tell she was low on mental energy for them. So, I told them we had plans.
Standing in front of the hockey house, I dread going back inside. What if Bennett is there?
I can’t keep avoiding the things that have happened between us, and the obvious pull we have toward one another.
Whenever I’m with Bennett, it’s explosive. I’m just not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
He makes me feel things I don’t want to feel, things that could ruin everything for me.
Those feelings, though, are the most true I’ve ever felt in my life.
He makes me feel alive, wanted, desired.
Not hate, not jealousy, not resentment toward me. Just pure, raw, electric need. The magnetism between us draws us together, despite our efforts to stay apart.
I crave him. His smell, his voice, his touch. Getting on my knees for him, taking his cock down my throat, and listening to him come apart for me was euphoric.
He’s like a drug, and I’m craving my next hit.
Knowing I can make him come unhinged is a power rush I am quickly becoming addicted to.
I can’t hide from him forever, so I trek upstairs. When I get into our room, I find it empty. I’m both relieved and disappointed at the same time.
When I sit on my bed to take off my sneakers, a rustling beneath me makes me pause. Leaning to the side, I pull a piece of paper out and frown as I open it.
I remember how much you love Mom’s turkey, so I made you a plate with some sides. Hope your Thanksgiving was good. -B
I stare at the note, my heart thundering in my chest. Why would he do that? When did he do that?
Licking my lips, my pulse wild, I get to my feet and head to his mini fridge. Inside I find a plate covered with aluminum foil.
Pulling it back, my heart fucking clenches and I let out a watery laugh. There on the plate is turkey, stuffing, potatoes, carrots, and gravy.
Ellie’s cooking has always been amazing. I’ve missed it.
Taylor’s mom’s meal was okay, but it lacked... well, flavor.
Taking the plate downstairs, I place it in the microwave to heat it up. When it’s done, I sit at the common room table and just smile down at it.
The urge to text Bennett to say thank you enters my mind, but instead, I dig in to one of the best meals I’ve had in a long time.
Odd things continue to happen throughout the next week. Not in a bad way, though. Just... unexpected? I don’t know how to feel about it.
We’ve been back at school for a few days now, and Bennett hasn’t slept in his bed at all.
It seems like he’s the one avoiding me this time, yet the things he’s doing say otherwise.
First, it was the leftovers from Thanksgiving. The next day, there was a coffee sitting on my bedside table, with a note saying ‘hope this helps wake you up.’
Then the other day, I found all my clothes cleaned and folded nicely on my bed, with a note that said he was doing his laundry and thought he’d do mine while he was at it.
Today I had to pause when I walked into our room after class to find that the purple bed set I was using from Taylor was gone, replaced with a navy blue one. On top of the new pillow is another note.
Thought you could use an early Christmas gift. I hate purple, and that thing was an eyesore. Thank me later. I remember navy blue was your favorite color. Sorry if it’s changed. I can exchange it if you hate it. -B
My breathing picks up, and my head begins to lighten. I need to find Bennett and see what the fuck is going on.
He’s being nice. Why?
He’s buying me things. Why?
Every little thing he’s doing is making me feel things I don’t want to feel, and I hate how thoughtful they are.
I need to see him. I fucking miss him.
How have I gone from years of being without him, living my own life just fine, to being unable to stop thinking about him, even craving him, needing him near. Because when he’s not, I feel like I’m going out of my mind?
Dropping my bag, I pull out my phone to text Taylor.
Me: Can you ask Aria where Bennett is?
Taylor: Sure. She’s with me. But why?
Me: Need to see him. He got me a new bed set. Like, what the fuck?
Taylor: I know lol he returned my purple one.
He did?
Taylor: Aria said he’s at the rink getting some extra practice in with his dad.
Hockey rink it is.
The walk there isn’t long. I’m hit with an unexpected wave of nerves as I enter the building. Why am I so damn nervous? This is Bennett. Normally, the sight of him makes me want to strangle him. Or kiss him.
But butterflies? Nerves? Yeah, no, this is new, and I don’t like it.
Cold air hits me as I open the interior door to access the rink. I can hear Jax shouting something alongside the sounds of skate blades gliding against the ice.
I do my best to stay in the shadows of the arena tunnel to avoid being spotted before I’m ready.
Bennett is doing some kind of drill that has him skating back and forth on the ice. I stand there, kind of mesmerized. He’s fast, and the way he stops so quickly before turning around and racing back is impressive.
He repeats this a few times before Jax calls him over. Bennett removes his helmet, his chest heaving as sweat drips down his face.
The sight packs a punch of arousal that makes my cock twitch with unexpected force. He’s hot. So. Fucking. Hot. And now that I've stopped hating myself for thinking he’s attractive, it’s all I can see.