Chapter 16
After the night we shared, there was no way I could face Niko in the morning. So, I took the coward’s route and snuck out like a thief in the night while he slept.
Instead of going to my apartment, I went straight to Montrell. He opened the door wearing a pair of shorts with no shirt, rubbing his eyes.
“Randi? What are you doing here?”
I couldn’t respond. My mouth opened and closed a few times before tears began to fall from my eyes.
“Shit, girl. Come in and tell me what the hell happened.
He put his arm around me, pulled me inside, led me to the couch, and let me cry it out for a few minutes. I had his full attention once I’d gathered myself enough to tell him what happened.
“Damn. This was unexpected. Give me a minute to process.”
“It’s a lot, Trell. I’m still trying to process. I can’t ignore what his parents said. I mean, I don’t think he intentionally put his desires before mine, but he did pursue me knowing the predicament it would put me in.”
“True, but now you’re in love, so that shit doesn’t matter.”
“Doesn’t it, though? This is still my dream job, and I’m not ready to give it up.”
“It hasn’t come to that.”
“Eventually, it will. Who are we kidding? Even if no one finds out about us until the season ends and he graduates, people will assume we were sneaking around once we go public.”
“It would be speculation unless they have proof. Who are these people you speak of, anyway?”
“Word travels fast on campus. All it’ll take is for one person on the team to find out, and it’ll spread through the school like wildfire. Next thing you know, I’ll be called into the athletic director’s office for questioning.”
“Does this mean your whirlwind romance is over?”
“I don’t know. I suggested we take a step back, and he made love to me like he knew it was the last time.”
Before I said the last word, my eyes filled with tears. Montrell noticed and pulled me into a hug, letting me cry in his arms. I wasn’t sure how long we sat on his couch, with only the sounds of my sniffles keeping us company. The next time I opened my eyes, they were met with darkness.
I sat up and looked around, trying to figure out where I was and why it was so dark. When nothing came to me, I slowly swung my legs around, planted my feet on the floor, and felt my way around the room until I found the door.
“I thought your ass was dead for a minute,” Montrell said when I entered his living room.
“What time is it? Why was I in your bed?”
“It’s almost eight thirty, and I put you in my bed after you cried yourself to sleep in my arms.”
“Cried myself—oh shit! Niko! Where’s my phone? Has he tried to call or text?”
“Your phone is in the kitchen charging on the counter. The only person who’s called is your mother. After the fifth time, I answered and told her you were taking a nap.”
I went to the kitchen to retrieve my phone. After unlocking it, I went to my call log and saw my mother’s repeated calls but nothing from Niko. Unfortunately, there were no texts from him either.
“Wow. He hasn’t even tried to reach out.”
“You asked for space. He’s honoring your request.”
“But—”
“Nope. No ‘buts’ are allowed, Randi. Take some time to figure out your next move, but you can’t be mad at him for doing what you asked him to do.”
“You’re right. Thanks for being real with me, Trell. I’ve taken up your whole day, and I appreciate you being here for me.”
“You should because you’ve been treating me like the ugly duckling since that man fucked you on your desk, and I still let you snot all over my damn chest.”
“Oh my God! You sure did. I am so sorry.”
“It’s cool. I’ve already sprayed myself down with disinfectant spray, so we’re good.”
“Boy, stop. My snot ain’t that bad.”
“It might not be under normal circumstances, but you were a mess when you knocked on my door.”
“Well, thank you for consoling my snotty-nosed ass.” I opened my arms and headed toward him. “Can I have a hug before I go home?”
“A side hug because you ain’t washed your face yet.” I forced him to hug me, while he complained, and finally went to my apartment. The past two days had just about done me in.
The moment I stepped into the lecture hall for our Monday meeting before practice, I immediately felt Niko’s eyes on me. I avoided looking at him as much as I could, but the few times our eyes connected, he was already staring at me longingly.
Others noticed his unusually reserved demeanor, and some asked him if he was okay, while others conversed about him amongst each other. I prayed no one else observed him hyper-focused on me, but it would’ve been hard to miss.
Somehow, with all the craziness that occurred over the weekend, I managed to get some intel from the club where half the players spent their Friday night.
When I shared the news with Coach Crawford, we decided practice would be hell.
A few players, Niko being one of them, didn’t partake in the Friday night festivities, and I felt bad they had to be punished for their teammates’ irresponsible choices.
Coach Crawford handled the brunt of practice, yet I was mentally and emotionally drained when I left. I hadn’t spoken to my parents since I’d decided to put my relationship with Niko on pause, and I found myself parking in their driveway.
“If I didn’t hear from you today, I was prepared to use my emergency key,” my mother announced when I entered the kitchen.
“No need for all that, Ma. I needed some time to process.”
“I understand, sweetheart. It was a lot. Are you ready to talk about it?”
“Sure.”
“Dinner is almost ready. I know it’s almost May, but I had a taste for beef stew.”
“You know I’m not picky when it comes to your cooking.”
I washed my hands in the kitchen sink, and my father entered the kitchen just as I sat at the table.
“Hey, baby girl. I thought I heard someone come in. How are you feeling?”
Finding the right word or words to describe my feelings took me a while. He leaned against the counter and folded his arms across his chest while he waited.
“I’m not sure. Numb might be the word I’m looking for.”
“We’ll talk about it over dinner. Hopefully, your father and I can help you sort through your feelings.”
A few minutes later, the three of us had bowls of beef stew in front of us with slices of cornbread on the side. After I ate my first spoonful, I realized I hadn’t eaten much since the disastrous family dinner.
“This is so good, Ma. Is there enough for me to take home?”
“Of course. Now, tell us why you look like you’ve been crying for a week.”
“Do I? I wore makeup today to try and cover it up.”
“You’re a beautiful girl, and others may not have noticed, but I’m your mother. What happened after we left? I’m sure you and Niko had a lot to talk about.”
“We did.”
“Before you get into that,” my father began. “I’ve been trying to figure out the timeline. Did you know each other when he was our server at Soulful Diner?”
“No, but we collided a day or two before that as I left another restaurant. He was on his phone, not paying attention, and made me drop my food. I said a few choice words, he replaced it, and that was that.”
“That explains why you were acting strange,” Ma said.
“I guess. If you want to know how we got from that to where we are or where we were, I couldn’t tell you. I never believed people when they said things just happened until I experienced it.
“I understand, baby girl, but you knew engaging in a relationship with one of your athletes was wrong,” Dad said.
“Every bit of wrong. Niko’s parents had some valid points, and they forced me to look at the big picture.”
“I may not have communicated it well yesterday, but that’s all I wanted to say. You only know me as your father and your mother’s husband, but I’m a man first. Your mother wasn’t the first woman I thought I wanted to be with forever.”
“Watch it, Randall.”
“I’m not saying anything you don’t already know, Marissa.
I want her to understand my initial perspective.
Randi, men will say and do all the right things when it will benefit them.
I know how much you love lacrosse, and I saw how excited you were about the opportunity to coach at the college level.
Shocked wouldn’t even describe my thoughts and feelings when I realized you’d taken such a huge risk.
At the end of the day, you’ll always be my baby girl.
It’s hard for me to think about you loving any other man but me.
Do you understand where I was coming from? ”
“I do, Daddy. Thank you for your honesty and for making sure I understand your perspective.”
“So, where do you and Niko stand now,” Ma asked.
“I decided to take a step back.”