51. GRAYSON
51
GRAYSON
The scotch in my hand did little to calm my frayed nerves as I muttered, “He should be here by now.”
“I told you, the place is surrounded,” Hunter assured.
“We thought we were secure last time,” I reminded him.
The four of us Lockwoods stood in Hunter’s office, each nursing a drink as if this were a casual gathering instead of a pivotal moment that would change everything.
Time was officially slipping through our fingers. Hunter got the confirmation, listening to a police scanner; the body in the woods had been found, which meant Daniel was undoubtedly now aware his minion was dead. At this point, our fate rested on whether Barry had managed to secure the evidence against Daniel.
“We’ve been over this; this is the safest place to be right now,” Jace echoed.
I knew that rationally; being out in the open was too dangerous, but after what Ivy just went through with that scumbag kidnapper look-alike, what if bringing her here, where she’d been taken against her will, gave her another panic attack? What had I been thinking, bringing her here?
She’d seemed fine when she arrived, but what if she was hiding it?
“Barry won’t be too much longer,” Hunter assured, glancing at his watch.
“What if Barry doesn’t have the evidence you need?” Jace asked.
“Then, I’ll take her out of the country.”
“Forever?”
“I don’t want it to come to that.”
Life on the run was a shitty existence. I had witnessed firsthand some of the targets I’d taken down, living that kind of lifestyle. Running from location to location, often staying off the beaten path in hellholes. Having no contact with their family or friends and having no career. Your entire existence boiled down to one thing—evading death. Running from it while it chased you like the Grim Reaper himself.
I didn’t want that for Ivy. We’d had a taste of it, and she deserved better than being on the run forever.
She deserved better than me.
I stared down at the ice cubes, dying a slow death in the alcohol.
“How did you do it?” I eyed Hunter. “How did you…” I wanted to ask him how he let Luna choose him when he thought she’d be better off without him, but it teetered too close to the secret that my other brothers didn’t know about, so I settled with, “Let yourself love Luna?”
Hunter took a long pull of his amber liquid, thinking carefully of his response.
“Still struggling with redemption?” Hunter mused.
I considered his question, realizing there were a couple angles to my feelings.
“I know I’ve always tried to do what I thought was right,” I said, my voice thick with the burden of my past. “But my actions have caused Ivy a lot of pain.” I paused, running a hand through my hair as I searched for the right words. “Somehow, despite everything I’ve put her through, she seems to have found a way to forgive me. And that’s…that’s incredible. But I can’t help wondering if it’s really what’s best for her.”
My chest constricted as I voiced the fear that had been gnawing at me. “What if, by accepting her love, I’m just being selfish? I’ve made so many mistakes already, and the thought of causing her more pain…it’s unbearable.”
I shut my eyes before they could betray me with the tears burning in the back of them. “I love her more than anything. But maybe…maybe the most loving thing I can do is to let her go. To give her a chance at a life without all the baggage and hurt I bring with me.”
My voice cracked as I finally met their gaze, desperate for guidance. “I just don’t know what to do. How can I be sure that staying with her is the right thing?”
Jace looked out at the expanse of Hunter’s estate. “Would you do anything for her?”
“Anything,” I said without hesitation.
It was like my world had completely blacked out and narrowed the scope of what mattered to a singular point of light. And that light was Ivy.
If Ivy asked me to disappear from her life, I would, but even then, I’d never truly be gone. I would become her silent guardian, watching over her from the shadows, protecting her without her knowing. If she asked me to kill for her, I would become her weapon. I would strike down anyone who dared to harm her, painting the world crimson in her name.
For Ivy, I would transform myself into anything she needed. A confidant, a protector, a lover, or a monster. I would give her all of me, body and soul, the light and the darkness intertwined.
She held my heart in her hands and, with it, the power to command my very existence. I would surrender myself to her completely, withholding nothing. The darkest recesses of my mind, the most twisted corners of my soul—all would be laid bare before her.
And I would spend the rest of my days devoted to her, in whatever capacity she desired. Forever and always, I would be hers, until the very end of time.
“That doesn’t sound selfish to me,” Jace countered.
I clenched my teeth. “Then, why does it feel selfish?”
“Because when we love someone as much as you love Ivy, nothing measures up to what they deserve. There is no human on the planet that could ever be good enough for them, so you have to ask yourself one question: is there anyone who could ever love her more than you do?”
I was by no means an expert on love. But, “No,” I whispered, unable to fathom anyone loving Ivy as intensely, as all-consumingly, as I did. No one else would dedicate every waking moment to making her life better, safer, and happier.
I would give her everything.
Speaking of which…
“Did you draw up those papers?” I asked.
Hunter’s lips pursed. “As a lawyer, I want to tell you it’s smart to get your legal ducks in a row, but as your brother”—he paused—“it makes me uneasy that you’re preparing for the worst.”
“I’m not preparing .” Not exactly. “But I know Daniel. He won’t go down without a fight, and I need to know she’ll be okay, no matter what happens.” After all, as much as I wanted to believe Daniel would be arrested for his crimes, I couldn’t shake the feeling that when it came time, only one of us—him or me—would walk away. Being a billionaire, it was the responsible thing to do to get my affairs in order. Just in case.
To his credit, Hunter didn’t lecture me. Instead, he pulled open a small drawer from his wooden desk, placed the papers in question in front of me, along with a pen.
“She’ll get everything?” I double-checked, scanning the document.
“Even that godforsaken stack of baseball cards you call a collection,” Hunter quipped, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
“And her grandmother?”
“All medical bills have been paid and will continue to do so, moving forward.”
I picked up the pen, wanting to believe everything was going to work out, that these papers would never be necessary.
But I signed them, just in case.
Because I couldn’t shake this sinking feeling…
“So, when this whole mess is finally over,” Jace started, his attention fixed on me with a mixture of curiosity and concern, “and you’re free to move on with your life…are you going to stop holding back and let yourself be with Ivy?”
I didn’t even have time to answer him before steps in the hallway disclosed a person just outside the door. And when I stepped out there, it was the last person I expected to see right now. A person who I thought was on my side—based on everything Ivy had told me—but looking at the shock, disgust, and horror etched across her face, I could see now, her feelings for me had boundaries.
“After everything you’ve done in the past, you’re still romantically involved with my daughter?”