Chapter 1
Chapter One
Gavin
I grip the steering wheel tighter, knuckles white, as I watch the highway miles shrink behind me. My sleek black Maserati rental from the car service is out of place here, its engine purring like a predator among the dusty trucks and battered sedans that roll along these pothole-filled roads.
“I should have landed my Cessna right in the middle of town. That would give people something to talk about,” I say out loud to myself.
One of the many perks of having my pilot’s license and my own plane means that I can fly in and out of my hometown without having to fly commercial or make the long trip from New York.
A few more miles to go. Too few.
The old sign for Hicks Creek appears on the right, faded and worn.
Home. It hasn't felt like home in a long time.
The last time I passed that sign, I told myself I’d never see it again. Dad and I had a huge fight that caused me to stop speaking to him. Now, here I am, driving back because my father is dead. Obligation, duty, whatever the hell you want to call it, has its claws in me. I’ve never been good at emotions and vulnerability.
“You’re dating Lena Marshall?” Dad growled at me in the kitchen on Thanksgiving night.
“What?” I asked dumbly.
How did he know that?
“You heard me. Answer the damn question.”
“I’m not just dating her, Dad. She’s my girlfriend. I…I bought a ring. I’m going to meet with her dad tomorrow before I go back home.”
“You’re kidding me,” he hissed. “You know that your brother is and will always be in love with that girl. I always knew you were selfish, but this…this is beyond what I ever thought you were capable of.”
“Dad, he’s got a new girlfriend already. He and Lena are just friends.”
“You cannot date your brother’s high school sweetheart. I forbid it.”
“I’m a grown man.” I chuckled. “You’re not going to tell me…”
Dad took a step forward, getting up in my face. I’d never seen him so angry before. But it wasn’t even anger in his eyes then; it was fear. He was terrified of something.
Why was he scared?
“End things with her before this goes too far, Gavin. She’s the only thing keeping that boy alive.”
“What are you talking about?”
“There’s a lot you don’t know, but you need to stay away from her. If you love your brother at all, you’ll steer clear of her.”
“Dad.”
“End things with her, or you’ll never be welcomed here, and…I’ll disown you.”
“I’ll do you one better, Pops. I’ll end things with her, and I’ll stay away. Clearly, Aaron’s happiness is more important than mine.”
I pushed off the counter and grabbed my things out of my bedroom while my father droned on about how dramatic and selfish I was. I left that day and never went back.
I didn’t even come back for my little brother’s funeral, and my dad never let that go. If I wasn’t his last living child, I wouldn’t even be here now.
I know damn well that I didn’t come home to say goodbye to my father, or be the dutiful son to tie up loose ends. No, I came home because the two men who stood between me and the woman of my dreams are both gone.
I can finally tell Lena that I love her and always have. She can hear the truth now.
My jaw clenches as the town unfolds in front of me. The old diner where I had my first job, the post office with its peeling paint, and the row of mom-and-pop stores that still hang on despite the slow suffocation of time. They’re exactly as I remembered them, except smaller.
I turn off the radio as I hit a stoplight, the only one in Hicks Creek, and glance around. The streets are quiet, too damn quiet. It’s almost like the place is holding its breath, waiting for something to happen.
Get in. Do my duty. Get the hell out of Dodge as quickly as possible.
Stay as far away from Lena as possible.
My stomach twists, but I shake it off. I don’t owe these people anything. I’ve built my life far away from here and carved out a place where I don’t have to answer to anyone. I’m tempted to turn around and drive back to my world, a world where I’m in control. But I can’t.
My phone rings, and I look down to see my cousin, Alicia, is calling.
“Hey, cuz,” I say into the phone.
“Is the prodigal son on his way home or did you lose your balls and turn the plane around?” she teases.
“Ouch.” I chuckle. “I just pulled into town.”
“Damn, I lost some money on this one.”
“Thanks so much for your belief in me.”
“It’s not that I don’t believe in you, Gav. I just know what you’ve been through and what you had to give up.”
Lena.
“I was never the son he wanted. It’s all water under the bridge, though. He’s gone now. I will never have to return to that house or this damn town again.”
“So screw all of us, huh? What about Jayla?”
“I can have a relationship with my niece from the city,” I answer quickly, thinking about my late brother’s daughter.
“You really can’t. And you only believe that because you’re too scared to face Lena.”
That too.
The light changes, and I force the car forward, trying to shake off the bitterness in my chest. I left this place for a reason. The sooner I get this funeral over with, the sooner I can leave all this behind for good.
“It has nothing to do with Lena. She ran straight back into Aaron’s arms. I was a holding place, that’s all.”
“Whatever you have to tell yourself.” She sighs. “I know I can’t argue with you about the validity of that statement.”
I can’t stop the memories of her that come flooding back.
The way she smiled at me. Her laughter. The way she moaned my name.
I shake my head and let out a long groan.
She was always meant for Aaron, not me. He was the golden boy and the perfect man.
“You’ll be there tomorrow, right?”
“Of course, cuz. I won’t let you do this alone. You’re my brother, cousin,” she teases. “I think you should talk to Lena, though. I mean, you’ll have to.”
We were born only two days apart, and our mothers were as close as sisters. We would always jokingly refer to Alicia as our sister.
Relationships don’t work. People lie. They cheat and steal even from the people they supposedly love the most.
I roll down the window, letting the cool country air hit my face. It doesn’t help. I’m too wired, too strung out from all the ghosts crawling back into my life the moment I crossed the town line.
Sarah, my ex-wife, proved that you can’t trust anyone regardless of how badly you want to.
I pass the high school and the football field where I spent so many Friday nights playing under the lights with my parents watching from the stands. My dad always judging.
The resentment rises again, hot and bitter in my throat. I had to get away from him, from this damn town. That’s why I left, why I cut ties. But no matter how many years have passed or how much distance I put between us, I can never quite outrun the feeling that I failed everyone I came in contact with.
I drive past Miss Betty’s diner, the place where Aaron and I used to hang out after games, drinking milkshakes and talking about the future.
“There’s no reason to talk to Lena. Want to get a beer with me tonight?” I ask.
“I would love to, but Gary is pulling a double at the hospital. I don’t have anyone to watch the kids. And I can’t drink when they’re home. Also, there’s every reason to talk to Lena. She and Henry were very close. He tried to help as much as he could with Aaron’s estate. That’s why he kept reaching out to you.”
Phone calls I purposely sent to voicemail. I had nothing to say to my father.
I see the sign for Main Street coming up, and my stomach flips again. I know what’s next. I know what’s just around the corner.
Lena and Aaron’s house.
I slow down as I approach it, my hands sweating against the steering wheel. The house looks just like it did in the Christmas cards they sent me every year. It looks exactly as it did in all the FaceTime calls my brother would make to me while he wore his Hicks Creek sheriff's uniform.
They were the perfect family. So happy. It’s why something always came up when I’d tell them I’d come for a visit.
Lena never came into the city with Jayla and Aaron, though. It’s been eighteen years since I last saw her.
Eighteen years.
“Aaron’s estate should have been dealt with two years ago when he died. That’s just a ploy to get me to talk to him.”
“No, it wasn’t.” She sighs. “Lena shut down and didn’t want to deal with any of it. Henry tried, but there was…trouble.”
“Trouble? How do you know that?”
“Henry told Gary when he was taking care of him in the last few days, and Henry got pretty loose with his words.”
“Why are you just now telling me this?”
“Because Gary just told me. He works a lot. We usually see each other in passing, and that’s it. I’ll get more information tomorrow.”
What kind of trouble could there have been?
“I’m almost to Dad’s. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Call me if you need anything. Again, you’re more than welcome to stay here instead of…there.”
“I’ll be fine, Lish, thanks.”
I hang up the phone. I shake my head and blow out a long breath.
Why wouldn’t Lena want to take care of Aaron’s estate? And allowing Dad to handle it all doesn’t sound like her. Then again, I haven’t seen her in eighteen years, so I really don’t know who she is anymore.
When I pull into my dad’s long, winding driveway, I’m shocked to see Aaron’s and my old square-body Ford sitting next to Dad’s newer truck.
I smile at the sight of it.It still looks in mint condition .
As I climb out of my car, the front door of the old house opens, and my sixteen-year-old niece Jayla walks outside. She looks shocked before a giant grin breaks out on her face.
She is the perfect combination of Lena and Aaron, with her dad’s green eyes and her mom’s dark brown hair and olive complexion.
“Uncle Gavin!” she squeals as she launches herself toward me. “I didn’t think you were coming.”
“Hey, Jay,” I breathe as I hug her tightly. “What are you doing here?”
“Mom has the town hall meeting every Thursday night, and…I always came to Grandpa’s for it. I guess it was out of habit.”
“Where are you headed now?”
“The house feels weird without him in it, so I thought I’d go back home.” She shrugs as she looks down at the ground.
“Want to go to the diner and get something to eat?”
“Not really.” She sighs dramatically. “I don’t want to be around people. Everyone is weird to me. It’s like they don’t know what to say, or they’re afraid I’m going to have a mental breakdown if they talk to me.”
“Fair enough, we can order DoorDash or something.”
“City boys.” She giggles as she shakes her head. “Are you forgetting where you’re at, Uncle G?”
“Dang, no DoorDash? How are we supposed to survive?”
“Gramps had just gone grocery shopping. Mom was going to donate everything to the food pantry. There’s ice cream and Tombstone pizzas in there.”
“Does he still have the pizza oven?” I ask as I cock an eyebrow at her.
“Yes, sir.”
“I haven’t had a frozen pizza in…I don’t know how long. Let’s do this.”
She grins again as she leans in to give me a side hug.
“I’m really glad you’re here, Uncle G. Gramps would have been happy, too.”
I doubt that.
“The old Ford looks incredible. It’s a shame it’s just sitting in the driveway not being used.”
“It gets used every day.”
“Oh, was Dad driving it?”
“No, Mom gave it to me for my sixteenth birthday.”
“You’re driving it and keeping it in that good of shape?”
“Yeah.” She giggles. “Gramps taught me how to take care of things to make them last.”
“I see that.” I chuckle as I grin proudly back at her.
Jayla walks directly into the kitchen and straight to the fridge to pull out two frozen pizzas. Not much has changed about my childhood home, except that it feels way smaller than it used to. Seeing my niece walk around as if she feels right at home is a little weird. She cooks the pizzas, and the two of us sit at the old kitchen table, talking and catching up.
I look down at my phone to see that I barely have any signal. I was hoping to catch up on some work emails tonight. I should’ve known there wouldn’t be service out here.
“Jayla, do you have service out here?”
She snorts and shakes her head.
“Barely. It’s in and out. Gramps refused to let them build a tower out here because it’s been linked to cancer and then…” She clears her throat and shakes her head. “He has satellite internet, but it needed to be upgraded, too.”
“I guess I won’t get anything done tonight,” I mutter under my breath.
“Mom will be happy that you’re here,” she replies an hour later as she takes a bite of her chocolate ice cream. “She was worried she would have to take care of the estate by herself.”
I wouldn’t be so sure that she’ll be happy to see me.
“She doesn’t have to do anything. That's why I’m here.”
Jayla is excited to see me, but I’m not certain anyone else will be.