Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Gavin
“ H ey, Sean,” I say into the phone when my friend answers.
“Hey, Gav, how’s the farm life?” he teases.
“It’s different.” I chuckle. “Thanks again for taking over getting the penthouse ready for the real estate agent.”
“No problem. I think it’s smart to have them do all the legwork for you to use it as an Airbnb for people.”
“Yeah, just more to add to my portfolio. I can do almost anything from here. Unfortunately, I have to go into town for decent internet, though. Luckily, the library doesn’t allow people to talk to me nonstop when I’m there.”
“Never thought I’d see Gavin Wells hanging out at the library.” He chuckles.
“It will be short-lived. I have someone coming out to install better internet in the next few days.”
“Did the movers get all of your stuff there yet?”
“Yeah. My work-from-home setup was the most important, obviously, but I can’t do anything with it just yet.”
“Are you really doing this?” He sighs. “Your life has been in the city. Do you even know what you’re getting yourself into?”
“I have no choice. My father made sure of it.”
“You don’t have to stay.”
“I do. If I leave, the farm goes to auction, and I can’t let that happen. I owe it to my mom, if nothing else.”
“I guess I get it, but…Gavin Wells is not a small-town country boy.”
“It’s who I was before I went to the city.” I chuckle. “It can’t be that hard to go back to it.”
“At least your niece and sister-in-law are there. How’s that going?”
“My niece is thrilled to have me home. I don’t think Lena feels the same way.”
“She’ll come around. The women always do for you.” He laughs.
She’s not just any woman.
“How’s Collin?” I ask.
“He’s really good, man. Thanks for bringing me there with you. It’s really been life-changing for me.”
“He’s a good kid, just needs adults to show up for him.”
“He is a really good kid. We’re having a blast together.”
One of the farmhands walks into the kitchen where I’m sitting. He gestures that he needs to talk.
“Hey, Sean, I need to go. I’ll check in with you later.”
“Later.”
I hang up the phone and look back at Dayton.
“Everyone is gone for the day, and I need some help with the tractor. Think you can help out?”
“I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but I’ll try.” I stand and follow him outside.
The two of us stand over the engine, trying to figure out why it’s not starting. It’s an older model, but Dad has always taken pristine care of everything he owns. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten my hands dirty or even looked at an engine, but it felt good to put my brain to use in other ways.
“Didn’t figure you’d be much more help than holding the flashlight,” Dayton jokes.
“I didn’t either.” I laugh.
“I’ll keep it in mind for the next time. We got her running for good, I hope.”
Dayton waves and heads back into the barn, and I go back to the house. I grab a beer out of the refrigerator and walk back out to the front porch. The sun is beginning to set as I plop onto one of the old rocking chairs.
Damn, I forgot how beautiful it was out here.
I can’t remember the last time I actually saw a sunset or even looked at the sky in the city. I look down at my phone when Lena sends me a text.
Lena: Will you be around tomorrow?
Me: Missing me?
Lena: Hardly. Hoping to get an update on the stuff we talked about with Mike.
Me: I told you I would take care of it.
Lena: Me not asking is why I’m in this mess in the first place. I still want to know.
I set the phone down and look back out at the farm before me. I don’t have the heart to tell Lena the truth about what I’ve found so far.
Spending time with Lena again is a strange mix of nostalgia and frustration, like trying to reassemble a puzzle with pieces that almost fit but don’t quite click. I thought all of this would be a simple matter of keeping things practical and distant.
It’s impossible for us to keep our distance. It’s like there’s an invisible thread that always pulls us together.
She’s all I think about.
I pick up the phone and dial Charlie, my friend who set up Aaron’s life insurance policy.
“Hey, Gavin, how’s it going?”
“Hey, Charlie, it’s good. I was wondering, do you remember setting up the life insurance policy for my brother?”
“Of course, I made sure it was paid out within a few months. Is something wrong?”
“Uh yeah, his wife never received the payment.”
“It’s been what two years, Gavin. Is this a joke?”
“No. It’s my fault because I didn’t think to check into it. His wife had no clue about it.”
“I don’t have my laptop with me, but as soon as I’m at the office in the morning, I’ll check into it. Nothing would have happened without paperwork being signed by his widow.”
“I’m aware.” I sigh. “Thanks, Charlie.”
I hang up the phone and let out a loud groan.
How in the hell is it saying that it was paid out to his wife, but Lena knows nothing about it? Did Dad steal it? Is that what he wants me to know?
Anger fills me as I think of all the possibilities. My dad wasn’t the type of man to steal, and I’m sure there’s a logical explanation.
I down the beer I’m drinking and walk back into Dad’s office. The internet isn’t great out here, but it’s good enough for me to do a little digging into things. I’ll look through the files he told me to as well.
Who needs sleep?
I walk into her kitchen the following morning to find her making coffee.
“Is that water with a splash of caffeine?” I tease, leaning against the counter as she glares at me over her shoulder.
“You just walk in like you own the place now?” she asks haughtily as she puts her hand on her hip. “Some of us don’t need to chug tar to function in the morning.”
She stirs the cup a little too vigorously. I chuckle, stepping closer and pulling the cup from her hands.
“That’s not coffee. Let me show you how it’s done.”
She smacks my hand away but can’t hide the faint smile tugging at her lips.
“I don’t need lessons from a caffeine addict, thanks. What are you doing here anyway?”
“I have a meeting with Mike this morning. I thought I’d stop by to bring you and Jay breakfast. Maybe drive her to school in the Masi before I send it back to the car rental place.”
“She’s already left. She had a student council meeting this morning. The Maserati isn’t yours?”
“No, I flew into the airstrip. Well then, I guess I got too much food for the two of us.”
Her eyes flash in surprise as she shakes her head and smiles back at me.
“Thanks for this,” she says softly. “I didn’t feel like cooking. It’s like you read my mind.”
“Pancakes with extra syrup,” I tell her.
“You always know.”
I don’t miss the sadness in her eyes as she says that so quietly. I want to reach out to her, pull her into my arms, and hold her, but I don’t. It hurts my heart to see her sad, and I know that eventually, I’m going to have to hurt her worse.
I barely slept last night as I dug into my dad’s financial paperwork and the evidence he found on my brother. I don’t know how to tell Lena any of it. It’s why I’m heading in to see Mike.
“I should get going before I’m late,” I say quickly as I lean in and kiss her on the cheek.
I hadn’t planned on doing that, but it just shows how easy things are between us. The gesture has set my entire body on fire, though, so it’s excruciating to walk away from her right now.
The drive to Mike’s office is quick. One of those moments when I pull into the parking lot and wonder how I got there.
I can’t get Lena out of my head.
Mike stands in his waiting room talking to his secretary when I arrive.
“Hey, Gav, how are things with Lena?” he asks as we walk into his office, and he shuts his door.
“She doesn’t like the idea of me handling everything.”
“Oh, I wasn’t talking about the paperwork,” he teases.
I shoot him a funny look. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, then.”
“Aaron was my best friend, but I knew you and Lena had something special. I always thought that’s why you stayed away.”
Smart man.
I hesitate a little too long, shocked by his words. If Mike saw that, did Aaron know it, too?
Change the subject quickly . I’ve known Mike forever, but he doesn’t need to be in my business right now.
I don’t need all of Hicks Creek to know about whatever this is between Lena and me. It’s too new to withstand the pressures of small-town gossip .
“I found some stuff in the paperwork that doesn’t make sense. I didn’t…I haven’t brought it to Lena’s attention, but combined with what I found at Dad’s house…”
“What did you find?”
His eyes dart away as he shuffles unnecessary paperwork.
What does he know?
“She named Dad POA over everything, so he had emails and letters stating the benefits would be released. Not long after, there was more paperwork stating that there was a hold on everything because someone had come forward as Aaron’s beneficiary, and more research was needed on the matter. Dad paid the benefits to Lena out of his own bank account. She hasn’t received anything. He was paying all of her bills out of his bank account, too. Not only that, I have receipts showing that he was paying off very large debts for Aaron before he died.”
“Lena willingly gave Henry POA because she learned that Aaron told her he paid off the house and didn’t. He’d purchased two other homes that she knew nothing about in the past five years.”
“With what money?”
“As far as Henry and I found, he had a lot of loans and credit cards.”
“It looks like he has another family.”
Mike’s eyes go down to the ground quickly as he lets out a long sigh. “He did.”
Rage fills me, and I grab the back of the chair, needing something physical to calm me.
“You knew and didn’t tell Lena?” I ask angrily.
He throws his hands up in surrender. “I had no clue when Lena asked me to handle everything, okay? I didn’t know until the life insurance stuff started coming through. I had no clue. I would not keep that lie for him. Shit, I was his best friend and had no clue.”
I pull back and watch him carefully. Do I believe him? I don’t know whether to trust him or not.
“What did you find out?”
“A woman in Highland believes she was engaged to him. They had a child together. Two days before he died, he removed Lena and Jayla from his death benefits and replaced them with this woman.”
“Excuse me? How does Lena not know this?”
“I don’t know. Henry was adamant that he would get it straightened out and that she didn’t need to know the extent of it. I’m baffled Aaron was able to keep it all a secret, especially from me.”
I’m gripping the chair so tightly that I’m certain it will break.
How could my brother do this to her?
How could my father keep it from her?
This is Dad’s fault. He told me to stay away from her, and this is what he did to her.
“How did you find out?”
“Sometime last year, the woman showed up here in my office. She told me that she believed Aaron was named Gavin, who was a day trader who worked a lot and came to see her when he could. It wasn’t until she saw his face plastered all over the television after his death that she realized he lied to her. She didn’t know that Lena existed until then. She played innocent about it all and stated that she wanted her son to be taken care of but didn’t want to blow up Lena’s and Jayla’s lives.”
“And you haven’t told Lena? Why?”
“We had to research to see if any of it was even true. Henry had an inkling, of course, but scammers do this all the time. They chase obituaries and try to claim paternity and whatever else in hopes that someone will pay them off to keep them quiet. You have the town sheriff married to the town mayor. We thought she was looking for the payout and full of lies. In the meantime, she reached out to the Public Safety Board and his life insurance company to reroute everything.”
“That’s fraud. Why did she wait a year to come to you?”
“She says that’s how long it took her to find who was handling the estate. I think she was getting pushback from the boards about the benefits and was looking to play innocent and get information.”
“Is the child Aaron’s?”
“Yes, originally, it was your name on the birth certificate because that’s the name he gave her. It’s since been changed.”
“Excuse me?”
This piece of shit used my name and life to swindle this woman? To cheat on Lena and…
I can feel that my face is bright red as more rage fills me. I would beat the shit out of my brother right now if it were possible.
“Does Tatum know?”
“Hell no! I have kept this to myself while I continued researching what I could. Lena has been ignoring dealing with anything in regard to Aaron’s death. Tatum would have already told her. She was not a fan of Aaron as a husband and father.”
“She wasn’t? But why? I’m just…I don’t understand at all. Their marriage was perfect. How could he…?”
“Their marriage was far from perfect, Gavin,” he says dryly. “You’ll learn this at some point, so I’ll go ahead and tell you now. Things will make more sense. Lena caught him cheating on her before. He apologized and said it was over; she believed him and took him back for Jayla’s sake. He and I had gotten into a big argument about it because I caught him with another woman just before he died. I never told Tatum or Lena that. Also, I just…I don’t think it’s very easy for the mayor and sheriff to get a divorce in a small town, and things stay cordial, you know? Aaron would have never allowed her to move on.”
The way people depict their lives to you and on social media really isn’t the same as what happens behind closed doors.
I’m dumbfounded.
How could I have been so wrong about everything?
“What do you mean by he would never have allowed her to move on?”
“Our time in the Army really changed him. That happy-go-lucky guy, the good man who held to his morals and was all about upholding the law and being a good soldier, disappeared at some point. Not a lot of people knew it, but Tatum and I were always with them, and he was pretty controlling of her. It was all about putting on a show for the town because of their positions.”
Held to his morals? Did he even know my brother at all?
Aaron had always been the one who drove my father over the edge. I usually stayed pretty low-key, with my head down. Aaron always had to push the limits. From what I’m learning from my dad’s stuff, he got Aaron out of a lot of trouble, even when he was in high school. He didn’t join the Army because he wanted to—it was that or jail time.
I hadn’t even known that.
“He didn’t show me any of that,” I lie.
I don’t know how much I can really trust Mike at this point, so it’s best to pretend to be clueless right now.
It’s taking everything in me to check myself and remain calm. I’m a stoic guy, but I’m finding it really hard to be that way right now.
“Well, it’s easy to put up a front for a few hours every now and then.”
How could I not see that my brother was acting, lying straight to my face?
“I had no clue.”
“He put on a good show for the rest of the world. Most people didn’t know.”
“Did Dad…?”
“The year before your brother passed away, his relationship with Henry was…explosive at best.”
“I didn’t know.”
“How would you? You weren’t here, nor really talking to either one of them.”
Ouch.
His words just add salt to my already hemorrhaging wound. All of this is a shock to my system. I’m only feeling a lot of anger right now, but I’m certain more will come soon.
“What is the next step with all of this? Is there a way for us to do what needs to be done without Jayla or Lena ever finding out?”
“Not telling them would just be prolonging the inevitable.” He shrugs. “They need to know. They need to be able to grieve and move forward. Lena has to show that she was still married to Aaron now. That’s where we’re at with everything. This woman is claiming otherwise. Regardless, Jayla and the child will receive death benefits, but Lena may have to pay back some of what was paid to her by the county. She and your father have driven themselves into bankruptcy while cleaning up the debt your brother left behind.”
“Lena is an intelligent woman. How does she not know about any of this?”
“Your dad thought he was protecting her and Jayla by not telling them. He didn’t want any of this to mar Jayla’s memory and send her down a bad path. Lena struggled a lot when she caught him cheating, obviously, but it was hard to pull her out of that, and…I think Henry was worried about losing her.”
My gut clenches thinking about Lena hurting so much. I rub the back of my neck as I fight the urge to hit something.
“Then what do I need to do next?”
“Keep looking through the paperwork and see what else you can find out. Things aren’t adding up, Gav, and I’m not figuring out why on my own.”
“I’ll keep looking through it all. I don’t want to tell Lena until I have physical proof, okay?” I ask.
“Of course not.”
How dare he?
How dare my brother do this to Lena and Jayla?
I’m so angry that I can barely see straight. I leave the office a few minutes later and go directly to my car. I sit in the front seat, staring at the road ahead of me for almost twenty minutes trying to calm down before I put the car in drive.
Had my dad not intervened, Lena wouldn’t be living with this mess.
Had I just said fuck it and come back for her, she wouldn’t be living in this mess.
As soon as I get to the farm, I go to the wood pile to start splitting logs for the fireplace.
I need to beat something into submission to curb this anger.
How in the hell did my brother have a whole other family, and no one knew about it?
It feels gross to think that he used my life to lie to this woman. It all feels dirty and wrong.
I’m so angry right now, and I focus all that rage on the logs in front of me.
I thought leaving Hicks Creek was the best option because I believed Aaron was the better choice for Lena. But I was clearly wrong. I would have never cheated on her.
The thoughts swirl full-on in my head. I can’t stop them. The anger I feel toward my brother is all-consuming.
He had a beautiful wife and daughter, everything he ever wanted. Why would he risk that?
Did I hurt Lena more by leaving and letting him have her?
It’s a wild thing to feel guilt mixed in with white-hot rage and sadness. I stayed away for eighteen years because I thought I was doing what was best for everyone involved, but in reality, it was all for a lie.
I did so much damage by leaving. I lost years with Lena and Jayla, with my father because of my asshole brother.
I let out a loud growl and slam the axe into a thick piece of wood.
“Fuck you, Aaron. You worthless son of a bitch. You didn’t deserve her!” I yell into the wind.
After splitting wood and doing some other manual labor on the farm, I look at my watch and realize Lena should be home by now. I’m not ready to tell her everything, but I need to be near her. I run inside to shower and change before I head over to her house.
She needs to see that I’m not like him.
“I ordered pizza,” I tell her as I walk into the house.
“Gee, I’m glad I don’t walk around the house naked,” she quips from the kitchen.
“I’m not,” I tease as I walk in to find her washing dishes.
I sidle up next to her as she’s rinsing dishes, taking them from her and arranging them in the dishwasher for her. We work in silence for a moment before she lifts her head, her eyes narrowing at me in that familiar way she used to when she was about to make some sarcastic comment.
“You know,” she says, “you’re not exactly making this easier with your terrible organization skills.”
“ My organization skills? Please. You’re the one who has no organizational skills at all.”
“Because you’re doing it wrong.” She smirks.
“I’m not doing it wrong. You just have control issues.”
Her smirk widens, and it feels like no time has passed between us.
How in the hell did my brother cheat on this woman? She’s beautiful, kind, funny, and smart. She’s the entire package and then some. What was wrong with him?
“When are we supposed to meet with Mike again?” she asks as she looks at a magnetic notepad on the refrigerator. “I wrote it on my calendar, but…I can’t find it.”
“I’m not sure how you run a town and still do everything by hand,” I tease. “You know that you can connect everything to your phone. It’s no longer the Stone Age.”
“I don’t do well with technology. Jayla had to set up my phone and all the office computers for me.”
“This doesn’t surprise me. You never did like change.”
Jayla wanders into the room as she comes in from basketball practice, eyeing us suspiciously.
“What are you two arguing about now?” she teases, folding her arms as she leans against the doorway.
“Nothing,” Lena and I say in unison, which makes us laugh, and Jayla’s eyes roll.
“Sure. You guys sound like an old married couple.”
I blink at that, glancing at Lena, who avoids my gaze.
I’m certain she feels the connection between us again, too. Jayla has no idea how loaded a comment like that is, and I’m not about to explain it to her. I open my mouth to make some flippant remark, but Jayla cuts me off before I can speak.
“You need a break,” she declares, walking over to the bookshelf and pulling out a board game.
“I’m cleaning the kitchen,” Lena argues.
“It can wait,” she insists, plopping the game onto the table with a grin. “Come on. You need some fun in your life.”
Lena shoots me a look, but I shrug. Honestly, after the day I’ve had, a distraction sounds nice. Even if that distraction is a board game.
Jayla sets up the game quickly, explaining the rules as she goes. It’s a cooperative strategy game where the three of us have to work together to beat the board. I can already feel the tension rising. Lena and I are both super competitive.
“Your mother has been known to flip the board in Monopoly.” I laugh as I nudge Lena.
“That’s because you and Aaron were cheating and running shady deals,” she says quickly.
I don’t miss the flash of sadness that crosses her face at that. It’s gone almost instantly.
“She’s ruthless, Uncle G.” Jayla giggles.
At first, things go smoothly enough. We manage to work together without too much trouble, coordinating our moves and making progress in the game. But as the game gets more complex, so does our bickering.
“Why would you move there?” I ask after she makes a move that completely derails our strategy. “We were supposed to block that space.”
She glares at me, her hand frozen on the game piece. “Because we need to collect resources. Did you not listen to the rules?”
“I listened, but we’re not going to win if you keep going rogue.”
“I’m not going rogue.” She giggles. “I’m thinking ahead. Something you should try once in a while.”
Jayla snorts from her side of the table. “You two are ridiculous.”
“Welcome to my world,” Lena mutters, glancing sideways. But there is something playful in her eyes that hasn’t been there in a long time.
I can’t stop smiling. It’s been a long time since I felt this happy and relaxed. As the game continues, though, I notice Jayla watching us more closely, her expression shifting from amusement to something more inquisitive. She isn’t saying anything, but it’s clear she sees the dynamic between Lena and me.
The game ends in a chaotic mess of laughter and frustration. We don’t win, but it doesn’t matter. Things feel easy for the first time in a long time. It's almost like Lena and I are… friends again.
It’s like we’re a normal family sitting here playing a board game.
I smile inwardly at the thought. Maybe at some point in my life, I had imagined this with Lena and just never gave my permission to continue wanting it. It feels nice and right like this is where I’m meant to be.
As we pack up the game, Jayla goes upstairs to prepare for bed.
“Tonight was fun,” I tell Lena. “It’s been a long time since I just laughed and played.”
“Ah, there’s a surprise,” she replies sarcastically.
“Is that so?”
She’s walking past me and brushes up against me lightly. I reach down and lace our fingers together. She squeezes before she lets go and goes about picking up the rest of the game pieces.
“Are we ever going to talk about the pantry?” I ask quietly.
She stiffens before she lets out a long sigh. She turns right into my arms. I reach down and tip her chin up before I lean in and brush my lips against hers softly.
“What is happening?” Jayla gasps from the top of the stairs.
We jump apart quickly. I look up at Jayla, and even from afar, I can see the tears and accusations in her eyes.
“Jayla,” Lena starts as she goes toward her.
“How long is Uncle Gavin planning on sticking around?” Jayla snaps as she jogs down the steps. She stands in front of the two of us, looking between us accusingly.
“He’s here for the year. You know that. You can address him, Jayla.”
“It feels like he’s here a lot lately. I spent a full sixteen years of my life only seeing him once or twice a year, but always in the city, and now he blesses us with his presence every single day. Seems a little weird, like he’s trying to push my dad out and take over his life. Did you two have a thing, and that’s why Dad…never mind, this is bullshit.”
“Whoa,” I interject quickly. “You can be mad at me, but you won’t cuss around your mom.”
“You’re not my dad,” she hisses.
With that, she grabs her phone off the table and walks out of the room, leaving Lena and me in awkward silence. I hear her truck start minutes later. We run out the front door, but Jayla is already gone.
“What is she doing? She never does this,” Lena asks.
“She’ll be back. She probably just needs to get her head straight.”
“This isn’t like her. She’s always been such a good kid.”
“Lena,” I say in a commanding voice. “She’s still a good kid. To be fair, she’s never been this age or in this situation before.”
She lets out a long groan. “I don’t want to lose her.”
“You’re not losing her just because she jumped in her truck to clear her head. Aaron and I used to do the same thing a lot. I remember you used to go sit in the barn or take off on a horse when you needed space.”
She buries her face in her hands and lets out a long breath.
“You’re right.”
“Maybe I should go, though, so I don’t make things worse when she comes back.”
“No. Please, stay. I’ll go crazy if you’re not here.”
I nod, and the two of us sit in the kitchen, waiting for her return. Lena is sitting in the chair, arms crossed, and her knee bouncing up and down recklessly. She’s up every few minutes pacing before she sits down and does it again.
“I should have…I should have talked to her about us, and…she’s not ready to see me move on. She doesn’t want me to get hurt.”
“I get it, Lena. You don’t have to explain it to me.”
“I shouldn’t have…”
“Let’s go in the living room and watch a movie to take our mind off things.”
“I can’t just…”
I cut her off by grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the chair. I lead her into the living room and tug her onto the couch with me. I grab the nearby remote and begin looking for a movie. She immediately snuggles into my side; I wrap my arm around her and tuck her into me as close as possible. Her head is on my chest, her hand on my stomach. I kiss the top of her hair, breathing in her lavender and vanilla scent. She sighs and snuggles even closer, her fingers drawing patterns on my clothes.
I wasn’t expecting this, but it’s perfect. If she needs to be close to me to calm her nerves, I’ll happily be that safe space for her.
Sometime later, I’m almost asleep on the couch with Lena curled up in my arms when I hear the truck pull into the driveway. I remove myself from Lena and stand.
“Pretend to be asleep,” I tell her as I move to the other couch and do the same.
Jayla is attempting to be quiet as she tries to unlock the door that isn’t locked. She keeps dropping her keys and giggling. My eyes flit to Lena.
She’s drunk or high.
“Oops,” she slurs as she opens the door.
She’s stumbling and tripping, running into things as she giggles. Lena stands and stares at her daughter in disbelief.
“Jayla, you can’t leave without telling me.”
Jayla rolls her eyes as she chuffs. “I’m sixteen, and I can do what I want.”
“No, you can’t,” Lena says as she steps forward. “You smell like a brewery. Have you been drinking?”
“No,” Jayla lies, looking down at the floor quickly.
Lena’s face changes from angry to sad and back to angry. She takes a step forward, and I grab her wrist. She glances back at me in disgust. I shake my head.
“Go to your room.”
Jayla stumbles past her. “Of course, he’s still here. Probably didn’t even notice or care that I was gone because you were too busy sucking face with my uncle. Sick, twisted, backwoods…”
“That’s enough,” Lena says.
Jayla is at the top of the steps when she flips her mom off. Lena charges forward, and I grab her arm.
“It’s what she wants. Let it go.”
“Let it go?” she hisses. “Are you kidding me?”
Jayla’s bedroom door slams, and then the house settles into quiet.
I let out a breath and rub the back of my neck. “Well, that was… something.”
Lena sighs, plopping down in a chair. “I’m sorry. It’s all been so hard on her. Aaron wasn’t around a lot, but she adored him. She was a daddy’s girl through and through. She was also a grandpa’s girl as well. She followed Henry around like a shadow since the day she could walk. We knew Henry was sick and that it was coming, but losing both the men she loved and admired in a short amount of time is hard for a teenage girl.”
“I get it,” I reply, taking a seat across from her. “I don’t blame her, but I also won’t let her disrespect you.”
“She just flipped me off.”
“She’s trying to get a rise out of you, and she’s drunk. There’s a time and place.”
“I appreciate that. It’s just…”
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what? You didn’t let me finish.”
“Don’t explain it away. Don’t make excuses for her bad behavior. Yes, she’s dealing with a lot, and she’s also allowed to have her moments and lash out, but she has to learn how to deal with those emotions. If everyone ignores them, then… you’ll repeat history, and she’ll be just like Aaron, Henry, and me.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“When it comes to emotions and communication, yes.” I chuckle sadly.
“She lost her dad and her grandpa. My parents are in Florida, and she’s not close with them. She adores Mike, but he and Tatum have their own children to worry about, and I feel guilty that …”
“You have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“Her dad…”
“You can’t help that he died. You can’t help that Henry was sick, either. You’re doing the best you know how to do as a mother, and that’s all that matters. Jayla knows that. Right now, she’s pushing boundaries to see what she can get away with, and if you brush them off and explain them away, then it will snowball.”
“She’s a good kid and…”
“Lena, I’m not saying she’s not a good kid or that you’re a bad mom. I’m telling you what I know from my experiences. When my mom passed away, I did the same thing as Jay. I wanted attention, and I didn’t care what kind it was. I didn’t know how else to deal with my emotions. It was like my dad and Aaron had moved past losing Mom, and I couldn’t. I didn’t think it was right. Jay is just…she sees us together and thinks that you’ll forget her dad or that she’ll be expected to.”
“That’s not…” She buries her face in her hands again. “She’s never done any of this before. It’s not like her.”
“You said it yourself. She lost two really important people to her. She’s never been through this. Most grown adults wouldn’t handle this well. She’s still a child. What matters right now is how you handle it all. What’s your next move?”
“I’m taking the keys to the truck because she drove drunk. I’m also taking her cell phone.”
“Those are all good. For how long?”
“Forever.”
“No.” I chuckle with a shake of my head. “You have to give her a timeframe, or the bad behavior will continue because she doesn’t have a clear goalpost in sight.”
Lena looks back at me with wide eyes. “I’ll take them both for a month.”
“Give her the option of earning them back sooner with good behavior.”
“But…”
“It’s her first offense, right? There’s no need to go balls to the wall with punishments when it’s her first bad behavior. Strict parenting is warranted in some situations, but not this one. Wake her up tomorrow morning with loud noise or music, then sit down and talk with her. Remain calm regardless of how she starts acting. Tell her what she did was wrong and that you won’t accept that behavior from her. Tell her that you love her and that she’s a good kid who made a bad decision, but it doesn’t define her. It might be a good idea to get her to talk to someone who’s not a friend or family member.”
“Pastor Will offered to talk to her. I looked into getting a therapist for her.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. I talk to one regularly.”
I suck in a quick breath. That came out without me meaning for it to. I’m not embarrassed about it, but it’s not something I’ve ever told anyone before. Her eyes shoot up to mine at the admission. She nods before looking back down at the floor again.
“How do you know all of this? You’re not…”
“A parent?”
“Yeah.”
“I was a teenage boy once, though, if you’ll remember.” I chuckle dryly as I shrug. “I guarantee the majority of this town thought I’d be in prison and not a successful day trader.”
“I remember.”
“I’ve been in counseling for a long time, but I also volunteer with at-risk kids. I’ve fostered some, too. It took a lot of wrong answers before I got the right ones. I made a lot of friends with social workers, mentors, and therapists who helped me help the kids I work with.”
“I…didn’t know that.”
“Most people don’t. I don’t do it for the clout. I have a kid that I’m kind of a big brother to named Collin. He’s struggled with something similar. I think I was the most mad at Dad for his stipulation because Collin is back in the city without me.”
I blow out a long breath. I guess I’m going to keep confessing things to her that I normally would keep to myself. I’m not sure if this is growth or she just has that effect on me.
“I’m sorry, maybe he can come here to visit. Thanks for this…for being here and keeping me sane. If you weren’t here, I would have lost my shit on her, and…”
“I know. I remember Dad doing the same the first time I came home drunk. Looking back now, I know it was out of fear and his own guilt and grief, but at the time, I didn’t know that.”
She nods slowly. I can see that she wants to say something but doesn’t. She won’t look me in the eye, and she’s fidgeting nervously.
She’s overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to feel about this.
“I should probably get to bed,” she states as she stands quickly.
I grab her wrist as she moves away from me. “You’re doing a good job with her. And we’re not doing anything wrong, Lena. Maybe it feels that way, but it’s not wrong. You deserve to be happy.”
Her eyes are wet as she glances up at me and then looks away quickly. She doesn’t say anything as she pulls away from me. I want to hold her forever, to stay the night and never leave her again, but I know that things are different with Jayla involved. Lena needs to be able to trust again, and that takes time.
I grab my jacket and head for the door, pausing just before I step outside. “Lena,” I say quietly as I turn back to face her. “If this… if me being around is too much for you and Jayla, just say the word. I don’t want to make things harder for you.”
It’s not what I want, but I’ll back off if I need to right now. I’ll give her space. I won’t leave like I did before, though.
I’m not going anywhere.
She looks at me for a long time, her gaze soft but tired. “It’s not too much. I don’t know what this is, Gavin, and I don’t know what I want it to be either.”
Fair enough, because I don’t know either.