Chapter 37
I was poring over a letter from one of my captains when Sybelle finally emerged from the bathing chamber. I cut a quick glance her way, then looked away immediately, my face heating.
The scrap of fabric she wore covered even less of her body than that damned towel.
The quill I gripped in my hand snapped in two. This human was tormenting me. Ruthlessly.
She started climbing into the bed— my bed . She froze when she noticed a letter on the comforter. “What is this?”
“It was on my desk,” I said, struggling to keep my voice even. “I assumed it was for you.”
She lifted the letter and turned it over, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Did you read it?”
I stiffened at the accusation in her voice. “As you can see, the seal is unbroken . But I appreciate your demonstration of trust.”
“Sorry,” she muttered quickly. After looking over the letter once more, she stuffed it under her pillow. I frowned but said nothing, though I was deeply curious as to who the letter was from. The insignia did not belong to the Earthen Court. Who could she be writing to?
Hot anger flooded me as I envisioned her penning letters to a lover from another court. But I quickly shoved the thought away before it drove me mad .
Sybelle eased into bed, shifting to make herself comfortable. Her movements caused the lace fabric of her gown to ride up, revealing an alarming amount of alabaster skin. When it hitched up again, this time rising high up her thighs, I averted my gaze, gritting my teeth.
I tried not to think of her rolling around in my sheets. Of how they would smell like her now. Her skin. Her hair.
She’s right, I told myself. She’s your wife. There is nothing wrong with this.
But that wasn’t true. There was something wrong with me lusting after a human whom I was using to break my curse. She was a means to an end, and there was no future for us. No matter how aroused she made me, or I her, this would only end in pain for both of us.
Because, in order to break the curse, she had to die.
It was the only way.
I cleared my throat and focused on my letter, re-reading the same paragraph three times without retaining any information.
“If you need to, you can go to the library to work on that.”
I looked up. Sybelle was tucked under the covers, and she watched me with an unusually somber expression. All amusement from her earlier teasing was gone.
“I insist on staying here with you,” I said. “Even with a guard stationed outside the door, I would… feel more comfortable if I remained here. Just in case.”
She nodded, as if she expected this answer. She bit down on her lower lip, her eyes going unfocused.
I frowned. “Will it bother you if I’m sitting here?”
“No!” she said quickly. Too quickly. Then, she huffed a laugh, her cheeks going pink. “Actually, it would… do the opposite.”
She was quoting my own words at me. Again. I stared at her, and she stared back, unabashed. Bold as ever.
Heat coiled low in my belly at the look she was giving me. Mother of Shade, this woman would be the death of me .
For just a moment, I indulged the thought of prowling over to the bed, holding her gaze as I made my way to her. I would climb on the bed, my large body hovering over hers.
How far would she take this little game between us? Would she let my hands roam over her bare flesh? Would she let me ease my fingers between her thighs to see just how wet she was?
When would she tell me to stop? When would that inevitable look of horror cross her features at the thought of truly bedding a monster like me?
I didn’t want to find out. It would be best to cut this off now.
“I will be focused on my work here,” I said in slow, measured words.
Even so, my voice still came out a bit strained.
“I’m sorry if it will be a distraction. But you fell asleep just fine in the hot springs.
I’m sure you’ll rest eventually.” I smirked at the way her cheeks reddened before returning to my work.
I distinctly heard her mutter the word ass as she turned over in the bed, draping the covers over herself. I chuckled under my breath, grateful our game had halted.
For now.
I responded to a few letters before the exhaustion of last night finally caught up to me.
After conferring with Clermont in the hall to ensure certain tasks were taken care of, I dimmed the lights and curled up on the sofa to rest for a while, hoping it would only take an hour or two before I was alert enough to tackle the next item on my agenda.
My dreams were plagued by shadow storms and the screams of my people—of the people I couldn’t save, no matter how hard I tried.
The dream shifted, and I saw my father laughing at me for my weaknesses, taunting me for my growing feelings for Sybelle .
“A human ,” he spat. “They are nothing more than the dirt beneath our feet.”
I tried to shout at him, to claim this wasn’t true, but my mouth had been sealed shut. My scream drowned in my throat.
“Varius,” whispered a voice that sliced through my dreams.
I stirred, and the vision of my father drifted away.
“Oh, Varius ,” the voice said, louder this time.
My eyes snapped open. The darkened room greeted me, and the auburn glow of the setting sun glinted from the windows. Slowly, I sat up, scanning the room. I was certain I’d heard someone call my name.
“Please don’t stop,” said the voice.
I froze, my skin prickling. It was Sybelle. But I’d never heard her voice like this before. It had a strange echo to it, ringing as if she were shouting in a massive cathedral.
With slow and silent movements, I slid off the couch and crept over to the bed. Sybelle was still tucked tightly under the covers, half her face pressed into the feathery pillow. Her chestnut hair was strewn around her like a lion’s mane.
Aside from her soft, slow breathing, she made no sounds. She did not speak at all.
“Varius,” said the voice again.
I turned and found a strange shimmering light gleaming from the bathing chamber.
I swallowed, glancing down at Sybelle once again. This felt like a trap. Clearly whoever was in the bathing chamber was not Sybelle. What if someone was trying to lure me away from her side so they could attack her?
“Varius, please.” Sybelle’s voice was a strained moan now, and my entire body stiffened at the note of pleasure in her voice.
She sounded like…
Mother of Shade. Was this real? Surely, I was still dreaming. I flicked one of my claws over my forearm and felt a sharp lance of pain. Black blood bloomed from the wound, and I sniffed it. The tangy metallic scent was familiar to me.
This was real.
I looked at Sybelle again, who turned her head slightly and let out a soft sigh. More moans echoed from the bathing chamber.
My curiosity got the better of me. Telling myself I would only peer into the chamber without actually losing sight of Sybelle, I inched closer to the bathing room. The glow intensified, forming a strange orange light that flared as if it had its own rhythm. In and out. Brighter and dimmer.
“Can I touch it?” Sybelle asked breathlessly, her voice bouncing off the chamber walls. Her breath hitched, and a surprised laugh rang out.
The light sharpened, and I squinted against its brilliance. When it faded once more, I pinpointed its source: a pile of towels.
I frowned. This had to be someone’s idea of a prank.
I wouldn’t at all be surprised if Warwick was behind this. It sounded like something he would do to drive me mad.
“Varius, I need you,” Sybelle crooned.
The glow flashed, then faded, and I cocked my head, brow furrowing. There was a small bundle stashed under the pile of towels. Whatever it was partially blocked the glow.
I crept into the bathing chamber, each step slow and methodic as I waited for an assailant to jump out at me. When I reached the towels, I crouched to the floor before carefully easing them off the bundle.
I recognized Sybelle’s cloak immediately.
After sifting through the layers of fabric, I found a pouch made of some kind of rough material.
The flash of light glowing from within nearly blinded me.
Hissing against the blazing intensity, I pulled on the strings, fumbling with the small, round objects contained inside before I found the one that was glowing.
When my fingers clamped around it, the glow disappeared, and I heard Sybelle’s voice in my head as if she were crouched right next to me.
“Stones, Varius, it’s so big,” she breathed. “Will it hurt me?”
My mouth fell open in shock. I looked over my shoulder, half expecting to find Sybelle there, uttering these things. But I was alone in the chamber.
She was panting now. “Please,” she rasped. “Please, I can’t wait any longer.”
The object felt like a small rock. I pulled it completely out of the pouch, trying to blot out her loud moans from my mind.
It was a gemstone. The brownish-gold color matched the glow that had been beckoning me earlier. My eyes narrowed as I realized the gem looked familiar.
It was nearly identical to the one Sybelle wore around her neck every day.
Shock rippled through me. She said her fae magic was tethered to gemstones. Was this her magic at work? Was she summoning me to her in a dream?
My throat tightened. I didn’t have to guess what she was dreaming about.
Me. And her.
Naked.
Sybelle cried out, and I jumped to my feet in alarm. Her shout tapered off into a moan of delight.
Whatever was happening in her dream had just escalated.
I looked down at the pouch on the floor, then glanced toward the bedchamber, unsure of what to do. Discard the gem and run to wake her? Or keep the gem in my hand in case the strange glow reappeared?
What did this magic mean ? Was she trying to communicate with me? Was she in trouble? Or was this entirely accidental?
I clenched the stone so tightly in my fist that it formed small grooves in my palm. Gritting my teeth, I strode out of the bathing chamber just as another cry of ecstasy flooded my mind. Those sounds were driving me mad. She whispered my name, her breaths becoming more frantic and wild.
A building heat pressed in on me, making me hard for her, the aching need almost unbearable. It felt ridiculously unfair that Dream Varius was engaging in these acts with Sybelle while I was here, doing nothing.
And here I was, jealous of myself . It was ludicrous.
But I could guarantee that whatever she was envisioning in her dream was nothing compared to the pleasure I could give her.
I moved to the bed, noting the way she squirmed under the sheets. She murmured something incoherent, then sighed again, her body arching.
Oh, yes, she was definitely dreaming about something scandalous.
“Oh!” she cried out, the sound echoing both in my mind and from the sleeping figure before me. Her hips bucked, and she thrashed against the blanket.
My black shadows exploded from the bed, spearing in every direction and climbing the walls. I let out a shout of panic, trying to reel them in before they hurt Sybelle.
Then, I faltered. These shadows were different. They had a strange blue tint to them, and they were more translucent than my own.
My pulse skittered as I stared down at Sybelle, who still writhed against the blankets. Tendrils of that bluish-black smoke oozed from her fingertips.
My shadows.
“Sybelle,” I said urgently, leaning down to shake her shoulders.
She hummed a soft sound, her eyebrows lifting. But she didn’t wake.
“ Sybelle !” I bellowed, shaking her more roughly.
With a strangled gasp, her eyes flew open, her pupils dilated. Her body sank down into the mattress, suddenly going limp. Gasping for breath, she looked around in a daze until her gaze landed on me.
“Varius,” she breathed. “What?—”
Her eyes went from the stone in my hand to the shadows still climbing up the walls. Her face paled. “What the hell happened?”