Chapter 7 #2
Every cell in my body comes alive, buzzing with the physical connection and his gift. I pull at his power and command it to shield us. Tendrils of shadows slide up Kyron’s chest and swirl around his neck. They caress my skin, heating it like the sun after a long winter.
He braces me against the wall, freeing a hand to roam over my bare shoulders and down my chest. Lowering the red silk of my gown, his mouth follows the path and skims over the swells of my breasts.
When I think I’ve reached the limit of what I can take, his fingers pinch and pull my hardened nipples.
I tilt my head back and close my eyes, lost in his touch.
All those months alone, I fought to keep the thought of him out of my head. But no matter how hard I tried, he would always creep back in, and I’d find my fingers slipping inside of me. Never did it feel as good as this. Never could I satisfy myself the way he could.
He takes one of my hands from his hair and lowers it between us. “Touch yourself,” he commands with a gravelly voice.
“You touch me. I’m so tired of my own fingers,” I say, unable to hide my desperation.
“I know, princess. But I need to see your fingers wet. Show me how you touched yourself when you thought about me like this.”
I can’t deny him. I don’t want to deny him. My fingers swirl over my clit, matching the rhythm of his hips.
He watches as I pleasure myself, soaking in every brush of my fingers.
“Fuck, that’s a pretty sight,” he says, gripping my ass in both hands.
“Keep going just like that.” He slides me up and down on him, touching me in places I can never reach on my own—the deep recesses that I only want him to fill.
Like his shadows coiling around my body, the same sensation grows low in my stomach. It expands and retracts each time Kyron thrusts into me until it grows to the point of uncontainable. My fingers move faster, my breath comes quicker, and I tug at Kyron’s hair.
His lips brush my ear as he says, “Let go, Raelle. I need to feel you come apart on my cock.”
I gasp as the first wave of my climax pulsates through me. My body clamps around him, sucking him in deeper and deeper. Kyron covers my mouth with his, his tongue finding mine. He swallows my lustful moans until they’re nothing more than small whimpers.
“Your fingers. Give me your fingers, princess,” he demands.
I lift my wet fingers between us, and Kyron takes them into his mouth. He sucks and licks, consuming the taste of me. His hips move faster, and I give myself over fully to his control, letting him take what he needs.
I press my cheek to his, loving even this simple touch, and I breathlessly say, “Let go inside of me. I took the elixir within the last year. You don’t need to hold back.”
“Fuck,” he says, releasing my fingers. He bites down on my shoulder, muffling his moans. I hold the back of his head and squeeze him tight, savoring the feeling of him emptying inside me. We cling to each other, not saying a word, as we catch our breath and slow our hearts.
He releases my legs, and I go slack, grateful for him and the wall holding me up.
Brushing my hair away from my face, he kisses my forehead.
“I love you. You don’t need to say it back, just know that I’ve loved you from the moment you fell in my arms during the battle at Lake Holly, and I’ve never stopped loving you, Raelle. ”
I push a strand of ebony hair from his forehead and search his eyes. He loves me, and I love him. With everything I am, I love him. That love isn’t enough, though, because I’m not sure I can trust him.
I right my undergarments and tug down my dress only to discover it’s ruined.
The slit that once ran to my upper thigh now ends at my waist. I gather the two ends into one hand and try to take a step, but the skin-tight material slips from my grasp.
A sigh falls from my lips as I work to figure out a way to get back to my room without someone catching a glimpse of my undergarments.
For Statera’s sake, this is what I’m worried about after what we just did.
Kyron’s warm chuckle washes over me as he stands in front of the alcove tying his trousers and watching me from under his lashes.
“Someone is proud of himself,” I say, trying again to close the gap as I admonish myself inside my head.
He stands up straight and props his forearm above his head on the wall next to him. “Don’t blame it all on me; you’re equally responsible for this mess.”
“If you weren’t so irresistible, maybe I’d have some self-restraint,” I mumble.
“That angers you?”
I give up on the fabric and drop my hands to my sides, clapping them on my thighs. “Yes. No. I just wish I weren’t finding you so irresistible under the circumstances.”
With a slight smile, he grabs each side of his leather jacket and pulls it off. He wraps it around my shoulders saying, “Even if you don’t want to admit it, I know you have always found me alluring.”
“It’s the bond.”
He hooks his finger under my chin and lifts my face to his. “Our bond is more than an uncontrollable fate. What we feel for each other transcends power and higher beings. It is ours.”
“You have a lot of pretty words, Your Grace,” I whisper.
“Don’t do that. You know they’re not just words. They’re the truth.”
I pull my face away from his fingers. “Just because we had sex doesn’t mean everything between us is fixed. I don’t trust you, at least not with my heart. Parah bond or not, I won’t let you in like I did before. I won’t give you the chance to hurt me like that again.”
He runs his palm over the back of his neck and nods. “I understand, and I promise to make things right between us.”
“I don’t think you can, Kyron.”
He looks right into my eyes and says, “Then I’ll spend the rest of my life trying.”
“We have a lot to overcome, and I don’t want to be in love with you.”
“And yet, you are.” It’s not a question. There’s no need for it to be. He feels the same tug as I do in his heart. The crack that has split it in two has done the same to him. Despite that, I don’t confirm what he knows. I refuse to give him that hope when he has taken so much from me.
“I’ll do whatever it takes. We will overcome this,” he promises.
Every cell of my body wants that to be the truth, but it is impossible to imagine rectifying the damage done.
It’s more than my broken heart. We’re up against the legacy of our predecessors.
How do we end decades of a bloody war without one of our kingdoms bending?
Our people are resolute in their beliefs.
Mine don’t want to succumb to the lust for power and his are content to take what isn’t theirs.
So, who gives in so he and I can build a life together?
It won’t be Lucent. I won’t do that to my people. My matters of the heart won’t be the cause of their captivity.
Kyron gathers our crowns from the floor and offers me his arm. “Let’s get you back before we’re discovered. A Lucent and a Stigian copulating in the hallways would be scandalous.”
“Statera forbid that we give the people something to gossip about,” I say, taking my crown and placing it upon my head.
We turn into our wing of the palace. Zek sits next to my door waiting.
He lifts his head and lowers the front legs of his wooden chair to the floor.
With raised brows, he stands and looks me up and down.
There is no misinterpreting my current state with my torn clothes, puffy lips, and messy hair.
Zek’s fingers skim the pummel of his sword, and as we move closer, Kyron returns his glare with a smug smile.
I pull Kyron’s jacket tighter around me and smack him in the stomach with the back of my hand. “Contain yourself. You’ve not won. I’m still sleeping in my room alone.”
“For now.”
I release an exasperated breath and step ahead of him. Zek holds out his arm, separating me from the prince and steering me toward my room.
Dipping his head, he lowers his voice and asks, “Are you all right?”
I open my mouth to answer, but Kyron speaks up first. “She’s perfectly fine.”
Zek turns on his heels and steps toward him. “I didn’t ask you.”
“Well, I answered.” The prince straightens his spine and squares his shoulders. “You know what she is to me. You don’t need to concern yourself with her safety when we’re together. In fact, you don’t need to concern yourself with her at all.”
Zek leans in, his nose almost touching Kyron’s, and the deep rumble of his voice vibrates off the walls as he says, “Perhaps that was once true, but I have it under good authority that you now have a tendency to take things that aren’t yours.
If you’ve siphoned her gift once, what’s stopping you from taking other things that she hasn’t freely offered you? ”
“Fuck you,” Kyron spits, pulling back his arm and aiming his fist at my guard’s face.
Zek draws his sword, and I dash to get between them.
I grab the hilt of his weapon out of his hand as my other palm ignites with fire.
I hold out the flame to my guard as the tip of his sword falls just short of reaching Kyron’s chest. Both men freeze, gaping down at the weapons I wield, frozen in mid-attack.
“I don’t need either of you to defend my honor. I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself,” I say, my attention darting between them.
The door to my father’s room swings open, and he steps into the hall. His shirt is skewed, like he just threw it on, and a worry line sits deep between his eyes. “What in the five kingdoms is happening out here?”
Kyron and Zek remain focused on each other, like they’re searching for the perfect opening to get the upper hand. Their stubbornness wears on my last nerve.
“Go to your room, Kyron,” I say through gritting teeth. “And you”—I turn to Zek—“wait for me in my room.” They hesitate and I press a little closer with the sword and fire. “Now!”
Both men back down, moving to opposite sides of the hall, and I relax the weapons.
“I’ve got it under control, Papa,” I say.
“I see that,” he says with a proud smile and slips back into his room.
Zek follows my command and retreats to my room.
I meet Kyron’s concerned gaze and release his gift. “Please go to bed and let me handle Zek.”
He reaches for me, but I take a step back. No more touching, not until I get my emotions toward him in order. As if he understands my unspoken reason, he curls his fingers and drops them to his side. “All right. I’ll see you in the strategy room in the morning.”
“You will. Goodnight, Kyron.”
“Goodnight, Raelle.”
The door closes behind him, and I release a long sigh.
Things would have gone down differently if I were walking to my room with a Lucent man.
Zek wouldn’t have feared for my safety, and Kyron wouldn’t have felt the need to defend his intentions with me.
This was the perfect example of the high tensions that would always exist between our kingdoms, even with a common goal bringing us together.
It’s just another small confirmation that this can’t work for our kingdoms, or for us.
I enter my room and shudder at the scene that greets me.
My guard lounges in an oversized chair in front of the fireplace that takes up most of the far wall.
He tilts his head toward me, and his eyes linger on the tattered state of my dress.
To see one of my own sitting so comfortably in all this unnecessary grandeur vexes me.
One entire day here, and we’ve become comfortable with our lavish setting. This is all a lure, an image created with smoke and mirrors. Zek and I are Cyffreds; none of this is meant to be ours.
I bound across the room, wishing I could hear my feet stomping through the thick rug. This place even robs me of my expressions of anger. I flip open the lid to my clothes trunk. It slams against the bed’s footboard, and I find a little satisfaction that my irritation is properly displayed.
Zek watches me unfazed and says, “Fraternizing with the enemy isn’t a wise choice, Elle.”
“You’re overstepping your bounds, Zek,” I snap.
“Am I? My job is to protect you, and you’re off rearranging your clothes with the most dangerous person in this palace.”
Yanking out a pair of sleep pants, I slip them on under my dress. “First, the condition of my wardrobe isn’t any of your business. Second, you know my relationship with the prince is… unconventional.”
He stands and steps closer. “But you don’t disagree that he’s dangerous.”
If he would have mentioned the threat Kyron poses to me earlier in the day, I would have disagreed.
I would have insisted that I’m the safest with Kyron, but now Zek’s words from the hallway linger in my mind.
My stomach turns with the vision of Kyron standing under the water infused with the Posseda and taking my gift to prove he no longer wanted me.
I’ve been so caught up in the fact that he discarded me that I’ve not properly dwelled on the atrocious act that led me to believe that.
He siphoned my gift with no remorse and has most likely done the same to others.
Pushing past the emotion building in my throat, I croak, “There are many things that are dangerous.”
Zek plunges his fingers in his golden hair and raises his voice, saying, “And that’s why I need to know where you are at all times! It’s my job to protect you from any threat, especially that Stigian asshole!”
“Watch your tone, Zek,” I say, reprimanding him with queenly authority.
We stare at each other in uncomfortable silence. Our lips set in firm lines and jaws clenching. The moments tick by until I can’t stand it anymore.
“I think it’s time for you to go. In the future, keep your snide remarks about my personal life to yourself.”
“Elle?”
“Go.”
Zek doesn’t so much as flinch at my command. He holds my gaze a second longer before puckering his lips and cocking his chin to the side. When he finally looks away, it is to bow. “As you wish, Your Grace.”
I wait for the door to close behind him and drop into the chair, resting my face in my palms.
I swore I’d never do one thing with my royal status: use it to undermine one of my people.
No matter how frustrated I am or how wrong they are, no one deserves to feel belittled by the person whose wellbeing is in their hands.
I played the future queen card with Zek, and I feel like shit for doing it.
And Kyron… I’m at a loss. How do I appease my need for him without sacrificing the principles I hold dear?
Everything seems so impossible right now, and it’s a weight that crushes me.
I know what I’m called to do, how to put the needs of others in my keep above my own.
However, I can’t deny my heart. It’s my pull, my drive.
And it always seems to lead back to Kyron.
There has to be a way to find balance. I just pray I don’t mess everything up while trying to find it.