Chapter 9
Nine
As I sit across from Micah and my father in the carriage, I reflect on the compromise Lucent has come to with Stigian.
We will split our forces. Half of them will train in Stigian with Esmeray’s commanding warrior and my father, and the other half will train at Basecamp with Kyron and my father’s second in command, Greer.
I saw fear flash across Papa’s face when the suggestion was made.
Willingly returning to the place where he was held captive couldn’t sit well with him.
The unease he had coming on this trip alone was evident.
But as always, his dedication to his kingdom and our king overruled his fear.
On the other hand, I wonder how Greer, Ulric, and Terro will react to units of their enemy’s army invading their space.
Or how they will feel about their ex-general being back at the helm.
Everything feels so off kilter with this new agreement, but it doesn’t stifle my desire to fight alongside those I admire. I don’t want to spend my days holed up in the palace, receiving reports. I can’t reap the benefits from others’ sacrifices.
“I want to return to Basecamp,” I blurt out.
My father and godfather fall silent and turn their gazes to me. Zek, who hasn’t spoken to me since my outburst last night, shoots me a side glance.
“We’ve been over this before, Raelle,” Micah says.
“We have, but that was before I knew you gave me the Eporri, before I knew how to fight alongside others. I want to lead and fight with our people. They deserve to see that they have a future ruler who will never ask them to do something that she wouldn’t do herself.”
“It is too dangerous and you are too important.”
“Don’t do that.” I hold up my hand and gather my thoughts before my emotions get the better of me.
“Don’t act like I’m being unreasonable. Every sovereign before me has stepped foot on the battlefield.
You and even Esmeray will lead our kingdoms to war if it comes to that.
If all you expect from me as ruler is to be a figurehead with a crown, then keeping me away from the upcoming conflict makes sense.
But if you are looking for me to lead Lucent into a new dawn, then I have to fight with them. ”
He shakes his head and sighs my name.
“You know I’m right, Micah.”
“You are right, but I do not know if Basecamp is the best place for you right now,” he says, concern dripping from his tone.
“Because of Kyron?” I ask.
Zek goes rigid at my side and mumbles his disapproval. In the months I’ve known him, he has never been one to hold back his opinions, and he won’t start now. It’s clear that his time in Stigian has only solidified his hate for our enemy, especially Kyron.
Micah runs his palm down his face and releases a lengthy exhale, giving Papa the chance to say, “There are things that you and Kyron must work through. As long as those issues fester, your attention is divided, and you both are a liability.”
I can’t deny his reasoning. I’m at a strange impasse with my parah.
One minute I’m ready to stand firm and treat him as a threat to my kingdom, and the next, I’m pressed to a wall begging him to touch me.
And then I’m back to confessing my distrust. We’re in a vicious, never-ending cycle of fucked up.
But with each mile that is placed between me and Kyron, my head grows clearer. The need to stand firm in my decision to not trust him is easier. I can stifle my body’s cravings and see the ridiculousness in the possibilities my heart makes up. It is easier to cling to my distrust.
“Then I’ll go with you to Stigian,” I say. “It doesn’t matter where I am as long as I can be an example to our people.” I mean it. This isn’t about going where Kyron is. What I want is my chance to prove I can lead.
Papa and Micah exchange glances, each looking as if they are waiting for the other to take the lead. Whether they want to deny my request or grant it, I don’t know.
“She would be safer at Basecamp,” Zek says, staring out the window. “Even with Stigians there, she will face less of a threat. She’ll have people you trust to protect her, and as much as it pains me to say, the Stigian prince will do anything to keep her safe.”
“Once again, she’ll be a distraction and a liability to Kyron. He needs to remain focused on training,” my father says.
“With all due respect, general, will your daughter’s safety in an opposing kingdom not be a distraction to you? At least she will have some of your most loyal and strongest soldiers to look after her here.”
I lower my lashes, and my lips tilt up in a small show of appreciation. I’ll go wherever I need to, but I do have a preference. I’d like to return to those who I’ve fought with before and a place that became a second home to me.
“I have to agree with him, Abrum. Raelle is safer on Lucent soil. If we are to grant her request, I think this is the better option,” Micah says.
Papa runs his palm over his graying beard, uncertainty written on his face. With a sigh, he says, “I will leave this decision to you. I trust you to choose the best role she should take in all of this, and one that will keep my daughter safe.”
Micah gives a curt nod. “I’m ultimately leaving her safety in your hands, Zek. If at any time you feel she is in danger, you make the call to get her out.”
“I’ve promised my life to ensure her wellbeing, Your Majesty,” Zek says, bowing his head.
My knees bounce up and down with anticipation as we ride through the Lucent gates.
Not only am I excited to return to Basecamp, but I’m also nervous about the tension that has been building between Kyron and me…
and our friends. The road ahead won’t be easy for any of us, but I’m willing to face it.
The uncertainty for what’s to come is replaced by relief as we continue into the town square.
I relax into my seat. My home is how it was when we left, not a single thing is out of place.
The people go about their business, some stopping to show their respect as we pass.
Children chase one another along the sidewalk and couples walk hand in hand.
I wonder if they know about the horrors that happened in Stigian or has Borin kept them blissfully ignorant until the king can make the announcement?
We pull up to the palace, and a barrage of staffers swarm around the carriage, emptying it of our clothing trunks. Zek steps out before me and offers me his hand as I exit.
“I want to apologize for the way I spoke to you last night. I should have handled that situation differently,” I say, stepping onto the ground.
“There’s no need to apologize. I should have kept my thoughts to myself.”
I squeeze his bicep. “Maybe, but I’m glad you cared enough to voice your concern, and it didn’t warrant my attitude. Again, I’m sorry.”
“Really, it’s all right, Your Grace,” he says, returning my sincere smile.
The crowd behind us makes a collective awe sound, and I look up in time to see Borin push through everyone, making his way to his husband. He pulls Micah in his arms and places a slow, passionate kiss to his lips.
“I was petrified when I heard about the attack. The images that went through my head…” Borin places his hands on Micah’s cheeks and looks him over.
“You do not have to worry, my love. I am fine and happy to be in your arms again,” Micah says, beaming up at his parah.
A tinge of jealousy shoots through me. Micah and Borin faced their fair share of trials with Micah being of royal blood, and Borin from an extensive line of horse breeders.
Even though Borin’s upbringing was with a loving, respectable family, some thought Micah should disregard the parah bond for a more advantageous alliance with another kingdom.
But he never denied the love he found with Borin.
He knew who his heart belonged to and who he wanted to share a life with.
It was their unwavering love that won the doubters over. How could they ever deny what the Statera bonded and all the ways the kingdom flourished when they were together?
They couldn’t. Each man has his own strengths, but together, they are a force to be reckoned with.
Leif slides in next to me and places an arm around my shoulders. “How did it go with your asshole for a parah?”
“Besides the Allaji trying to blow us up, I’d say it went all right,” I answer as we move into the palace.
“Did you get a chance to talk with him?”
“I did.”
“I hope he got down on his knees and begged for your forgiveness. And I hope you let him wallow in some extra grief before you came to any kind of resolution with him.”
We weave our way through the palace, and I don’t leave out any details about what happened between me and Kyron.
As soon as I open the door to my quarters, Leif plops down on the sitting room couch with his feet crossed on top of the arm.
The furnishings and design of the Lucent palace is a vast contrast to the gilded trimmings, rich colors, and hand-painted ceilings of Stigian.
This palace breathes and allows sunlight to beam in.
My personal space’s decor is peaceful, made up of cornflower blue, white, wildflowers, and birchwood.
Sheer window coverings billow with the breeze flowing in through the open double doors.
I forget the responsibilities of ruling a kingdom when I walk through the door.
I could never forget as I laid in the gaudy bed in Stigian.
Leif shoves a decorative pillow under his head and watches me as I unpack.
“Are you sure it’s a good idea for you to return to Basecamp with Kyron there?
If you couldn’t control your urges in a hallway, how are you going to stay in control there?
You’ll be utterly free to do what you want with almost no consequences. ”
I look back at him over my shoulder and say, “I know. And that’s why I was thinking you should come with me.”
“But I don’t want to leave—”
“Of course you don’t want to leave without Wel. I understand that. It’s a good thing you will need your personal guard, just like I do. Problem solved.”
He grunts his disapproval and says, “Wel and I are finally accustomed to living here. I don’t know if I want to pick up and go back.”
I toss the frilly dress in my hand on the floor and sit next to Leif’s hip. “Please,” I say, clasping my hands on his chest and batting my eyes. “I need an accountability partner, and who better than my future husband?”
“Don’t do that.” Leif turns his face to the back of the couch.
“Wouldn’t it be romantic to go back to the place where it all started for you and Wel?”
“You never had the pleasure of trying to mess around in those small beds. It’s a pain in the ass. We have a huge bed here.”
I grip his chin, forcing him to look at me. “What if I use my pull to get you an enormous bed?”
“How big?”
“Big enough to handle all your naughty escapades.”
He releases a long breath and slaps me on the thigh. “Sounds like we’re getting ourselves into the fun kind of trouble… again.”
I squeal and throw my arms around his neck. I couldn’t do this without him. Everything is more tolerable with him by my side, no matter how dreadful the task.