Chapter 11 #2
Kyron places his hand on my forearm. His gift hums through my skin.
Fire and shadows awaken every cell in my body.
The familiar tug that always draws me to him returns in full force.
This is a feeling I now understand. It’s the pull of our parah bond.
But underneath that is the strong current that is present when I’m using another’s power, only this time the flow is reversed.
It moves toward Kyron. The drain is the same as it was when he stood in the Posseda infused waters.
But that’s impossible unless…
“You didn’t siphon from me, you called to the Eporri,” I whisper.
“Yes. You act as a conduit to the Eporri’s power.
I was always my mother’s intended heir, all I needed to do was touch you, and it was good as holding the stone in my hand.
The more you and I touched, the more I recognized the power.
I wasn’t sure it would work, or that you would fall for it, but I was desperate to get you and Abrum out of Stigian. ”
A tidal wave of relief washes over me, but the revelation also triggers confusion and anger.
That moment under the waters of the Posseda robbed me of so much.
It tore apart my trust, stole my happiness, and broke my heart.
I’ve lived months upon months believing a lie while Kyron knew the truth all along.
He let me go into the tunnels under Stigian believing he took something sacred from me. He let me leave hating him.
I fight to hold back the tears distorting my vision, but they pool until I have no choice but to allow them to trail down my cheeks. “Why did you let me leave thinking you siphoned from me?”
“Would you have gone with your father if you knew otherwise?”
I drag my palms down my face, hiding what we both know is my answer.
It would have been impossible for me to choose between my father and my parah.
I would have rather died than leave either of them behind.
Papa would still be chained to Esmeray’s throne, and I would be a prisoner.
And Kyron, he would be in the same situation.
My voice is thick and raspy as I ask, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I tried once in the shelter, but we were interrupted. I’m grateful for that though.
My mother was always probing around in my head, testing my loyalty.
When she’s not doing that, she has people watching or listening everywhere.
This is the first time I’ve had the chance to say it without her watching my thoughts.
I’ve been very careful to manipulate the things I’ve done since returning to Stigian. ”
I shake my head. “So, how did you make her believe you siphoned from me?”
“I thought, if the princess wants me to draw her power, I will. And I called to the Eporri—the source of your power,” he simply explains.
“I don’t understand. Even if you told me, she wouldn’t do anything to you. Without you to carry on her rule, Stigian would fall to Micah or me, and she knows we will rip her kingdom apart from the inside out.”
“I have reason to believe that nothing would stop my mother from taking vengeance if she thought I betrayed her, and I won’t risk you. But that’s a story for another time.” He stands and holds up the covers for me to slip underneath.
The never-ending questions his words spark are immense, but they’re not as strong as my fatigue. This night has already taken its toll on me. I need a moment to sort through everything I’ve learned. Not to mention that my head is still foggy from all the drinking I did.
I slide under the blankets and wiggle my legs, my tight leather pants constricting my movement.
“Uncomfortable?” he asks with a smirk.
“Nothing I can’t take care of on my own.” I unlace my pants, shimmy out of them, and twirl them over my head before flinging them to the floor. “Problem solved.”
“I admire your resourcefulness, among other things.”
The glint of amusement and pull of his perfect lips reminds me how much I miss our easy banter. I long to be the center of his attention, the one he thinks about in the middle of his day, the one he kisses just because he can. Statera, I miss the feel of his lips and the way he kisses.
A knot coils in my stomach.
It wasn’t his lips I kissed earlier. My guilt along with the alcohol coursing through my veins kills my inhibitions. With little thought, I say, “I kissed Zek. Tonight. In the hallway.”
Kyron slides his hands into his pockets and shifts his weight. His chest billows with a deep inhale, and the muscle in his jaw ticks. “Do you have romantic feelings for him?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? You initiated that kiss.”
The reddening of my face travels down my neck. Kyron heard us. He sat in that chair and listened to his parah kiss someone else. If roles were reversed, I wouldn’t have stayed so calm. There would be no second-guessing as I ran out that door and pulled him away from someone else.
“I’m sure I don’t have feelings like that for Zek. I was just…”
He tilts his head and holds my gaze. “Go on, princess. I need to hear you say it.”
“Everything that has happened between us, it hurts so bad sometimes. I wanted to drown out the pain for a moment, just get lost in something that wasn’t so complicated. It was a stupid drunken move on my part, so please don’t light my guard into a walking flame,” I say.
Kyron lifts an eyebrow, and one corner of his lips quirks up. “Only because you asked me not to. Besides, I don’t blame him for giving in; you’re hard to resist.”
“I know how that feels.” I gnaw on my bottom lip and brush my fingers over the back of his. “You should stay.”
He watches our hands as his shadows curl around my wrist. “I wasn’t planning to leave. This is my quarters.”
“That’s very presumptuous of you. I believe you abandoned these quarters for more opulent living arrangements.”
A soft chuckle vibrates through him. “Reluctantly. And it’s a choice I quickly regretted. The room was fancy, but the mattress was shit.”
“So does that mean—”
“I’ll sleep in the chair in the other room.”
I tug on his fingers. “You don’t have to.”
“I should. You’re not in the best headspace right now.”
“Save the chivalrous bullshit, and hold me,” I say, pulling him into the bed next to me.
“Back to pulling rank again, Your Grace?” He gathers me into his arms and kisses the top of my head.
I snuggle into him and relish the feel of his body next to mine. “I don’t think that’s applicable any longer, Your Grace.”
“For me it is. All you have to do is say the words, and it’s yours. Whatever you want, I will sail any sea, journey to every star, nothing is too great of a request.”
Maybe it’s still the alcohol, but his declaration hits me hard.
I so badly want to believe that the man I was falling for was in control the entire time, that everything he did was planned out for a greater good.
He took a risk for me because he cared that much.
That same frame of mind also seems too simple, too na?ve.
Never again do I want to give him the power to hurt me the way he did, no matter what his intentions were.
I curl my fingers around his shirt, trying to ground myself and hold on to reason. “You’re making it very difficult for me to remain angry at you.”
“I’ve already told you I’d do the work to fix what I broke between us. I’m not trying to plow down the walls you put up. I want to earn the privilege of you letting me in again.”
Emotion builds in my chest to the point of aching. “That’s the problem. No matter what you did, it’s so much easier for me to let you in than keep you out. If I’m being honest with myself, you were never truly out. And dammit, I tried.”
He hums in thought, his chest rumbling under my ear. “Look, you can wake up in the morning and realize that you’re still mad at me.”
“Oh, I am. I’m angry as hell. What I said is that you’re making it difficult not to be.”
“Understood. My point is that you can go through the motions with me. Anger, murderous intent, lust.” I slap him on the chest, and he chuckles. “They’re all valid and I’ll still be here building up your trust in me again.”
My feelings for Kyron are far from simple. Family, duty, war—it’s a mixture of overly complicated and an extreme mess. It won’t be easy, and everything is far from resolved between us. His actions had dire implications for the trust I put in him. It’s going to take some time to get over that.
However, tonight was the first step in mending our relationship. For the first time in a long time, I have a little hope that fixing us is possible.